Zeroth Moment: My Cheat Skill Is Stupid, So I'll Just Ignore It

With a thunderous impact that shook the room, Rudo drove a short, powerful punch directly into Hana's solar plexus; the young woman's body jerked so hard that Topher was sure she would have flown straight through the wall of the tavern if not for the old man's iron-hard grip on her wrist. Her mouth gaped open with shock, and everything seemed to slow down as her feet left the floor, blasted out from under her by the force of the blow; her bone-white hair floated outwards in a cloud around her, and an explosive, echoing gasp burst from her throat. Even as she hung there, suspended in the air, her eyes rolled back in her head; her Flux Blade slipped from her limp hand, dwindling back into a plain dagger and falling to the floor with a clink.

Then, time seemed to speed up again, and Hana sagged to the floor; her insensate body thudded to earth with an impact that seemed to free Topher and Zanasha from their paralysis. Topher surged up, upsetting everything on the table a second time as he hurried to them, but Zanasha was faster; she reached Hana and knelt, face twisted with distress, over her body. "Is... is she...?"

"Your friend will be fine." Rudo shrugged off his torn, bloodstained shirt, which had been nearly shredded into rags during the fight; beneath it, Topher could see that his lean, rangy body was composed almost entirely of iron-hard muscle and sinew. "The Stunning Fist Skill merely renders its target unconscious; she may have a few bruises, but shall suffer no lasting injury." Wincing slightly, he limped over to where Hana's Flux Blade had fallen and picked it up gingerly with his thumb and forefinger; turning, he presented it to Topher as though proffering a dead fish. "Mister Bailey, might you store this in a safe location until the young woman has returned to her senses? I do not believe I could defend myself against it a second time this day."

"Uh. Right." Topher took the dagger and wrapped it carefully in a large cloth napkin -- don't want it punching a hole in my Magic Bag, if that's even possible -- and put it away, feeling slightly guilty. "Zanasha..." -- he swallowed, then plowed on -- "...you should probably take her hip pouch, too. I think we should try to get an explanation before she burns the place down or teleports away or something."

The half-orc flinched, but nodded sadly. "Yes. You are right." Frowning, she untied Hana's hip pouch and secreted it somewhere inside her armor; Topher could hear Rudo puttering about the shop, putting out fires and righting tables and chairs. Slowly, the half-orc raised a haunted gaze to meet Topher's own; he could tell she was suffering greatly. "Friend Topher. I did not know..."

Topher shook his head. "Neither of us did." He looked down at the unconscious girl, feeling lost and empty. "You should probably tie her up, too. If one of us has to, I mean..." he gestured aimlessly. "It should be you."

"Yes." The half-orc's wounded stare staggered away from Topher's face as she fumbled in her pack for a length of rope. "Yes, you would not... yes." Gently, she lifted Hana's unconscious form into a chair, then began to tenderly bind her hands and ankles to the chair's back and legs. "I do not... know if this will hold," she ventured as she finished, stepping away. "The Elixir..."

"Yeah. Well, whatever. We'll just have to chance it." Topher turned away, feeling sick.

"Friend Topher. In the dungeons beneath Wanbourne..." He felt the half-orc drawing nearer as she spoke. "You used a spell to immobilize one of the creatures. Might you not have..."

"Entangle, yeah." Topher sighed. "But it burns the target, too, because of my Ash aspect. And if the power's too weak, the target can just rip it off; too strong, and it crushes them, killing them." He looked at his palms. "I couldn't risk it."

"Might you not have controlled..."

"Lady, it doesn't work like that," Topher rasped, hunching his shoulders defensively. "I say some words, and the effect happens. I use empowering words or my wand to make it stronger, it gets stronger. I can't..." His hands clutched his own forearms. "I can't control anything."

"I see." Zanasha's voice was almost a whisper; Topher's heart ached with the pain of what was happening. "I was foolish. I am sorry."

Topher closed his eyes. Not as sorry as I am. "It's fine. I know you didn't want her to get hurt either."

"Yes..." The half-orc paused for a few moments, then walked away, staring out the open doorway into the snowy night. After a while, she spoke again. "Topher, I cannot lose Hana-chan. She is all I have left."

Topher's face twisted with grief. "I know. But I don't know what to do."

"Be at peace." Rudo's calm, gentle voice cut through the silence; Topher turned to see him tipping a dustpan full of broken glass into a trash can. "The young woman will awaken, in time. But as we wait, might you not assist an old man in cleaning up?" He winked. "Magma is quite difficult to get out of the décor."

Topher was gingerly picking glass shards out of a bowl of fruit when Hana began to stir; his pulse instantly ratcheted up to a thundering gallop as he whirled, nearly dropping his collection of findings. "Hey, she's waking up."

The other two immediately ceased their own cleanup actions and rushed near; Topher edged backwards a little to let Zanasha be the first person Hana saw, despite the half-orc's brief hesitation. What's that about? Groaning, the young Japanese woman opened her eyes. "What... Where?"

"Hana-chan." Zanasha's voice was gentle, but firm. "We are still in Master Muchenje's Inn, after he defeated you."

In a flash, Hana's eyes shot wide open, and she bucked furiously against the ropes holding her; but it seemed that the Elixir of Enhancement's effects had either already worn off or been dispelled by her unconsciousness (Topher suspected the latter, since many of his own long-duration abilities seemed to end upon falling asleep). "Damn... damn you!" Topher could see her hands flailing for purchase on the ropes, as her eyes searched frantically for her Flux Blade and her hip pouch. "You don't...! I can't...!"

"Hana-chan, you are among friends," Zanasha continued, plowing smoothly over the young woman's outbursts. "You can speak to us. Tell us what is going on."

"Friends?!" the young woman shrieked. "Friends who tied me up?!"

"I restrained you, Hana-chan," Zanasha cut in, "for my safety, as well as your own." Her eyes cut sideways towards Rudo, who was nonchalantly sweeping up the pieces of several broken chairs and tables. "And I feel confident in asserting that Master Muchenje is likely our friend, as well, or he would have killed you rather than merely knocking you unconscious." Her face hardened. "I do not know that I would have been as merciful to an assassin serving the Demon Lord who made an attempt on my life."

Hana stilled, quieted; tears welled up in her eyes, but her mouth hardened into a resolute line. "You don't know," she whispered. "You don't know what's..."

Topher felt his hackles raising; everything in his body screamed at him that it was a trick, a ploy, crocodile tears meant to tug at heartstrings and lower defenses for a duplicitous, savage attack. But he withheld himself, hiding his broken heart behind crossed arms, and growled, "So tell us, already. It's gotta be better than just snarling about how ignorant we all are, right?"

"Right." Hana's voice was vicious with disdain, even as tears poured from her eyes. "L-like you'd believe me."

"Oh, for the love of..." Topher rolled his eyes; anger and frustration surged out of him before he could stop them. Raising his hand, he chanted, "Ury Sha Uhl Cairei," and concentrated furiously as his empowered Mage Hand spell took hold; pulling with quick, twisting tugs at Zanasha's knots, he freed the young woman in an instant, then lowered his hand and crossed his arms again. "This is stupid. You're being stupid. Talk to us if you give a shit about us, or run out the door and run away." He gestured angrily towards the front of the inn. "Do whatever the fuck you want, but stop acting like we're the fucking bad guys here."

"Topher..." Zanasha breathed, looking anguished, but Hana's head snapped up.

"We are the 'bad guys'," she snarled, leaping to her feet. "Or is the Magic Stone in your stomach crowding out your brain?"

Topher froze, then sucked in a breath. "Jesus Christ. So you are with the people who got to Noboru." His hands clenched into fists; then, as slowly as he could, he crouched, then sat down on the floor. "I'm tired of making rice for people who kill children," he choked out to no one in particular.

There was a moment where no one moved or spoke; then, unexpectedly, Hana crouched down on the floor too and buried her face in her hands. "I don't... I never wanted this," she sobbed.

Topher felt unbelievably drained; resentment and grief raged through him, but it seemed to wash over and through him without affecting him. "Right," he muttered. And Pearl Harbor had it coming, he thought to himself, but didn't say it out loud. "Just tell us how you got caught up in it, already. I know you don't give a shit about me, but maybe you should have checked with Zanasha before signing on with the guy whose foot soldiers blew up Orvale."

Zanasha's face turned to Topher in confusion, but Hana wailed; wrapping her arms around herself, she rocked back and forth as she coughed out huge, ugly sobs. "Too... late..." she snuffled, in between tears and gasps. "By the time... I found out...!"

"Hana-chan." Zanasha's face was twisted with grief, and she held out her arms plaintively towards the other woman. "Hana-chan."

With another sob, Hana threw herself into Zanasha's arms; Topher managed not to look exasperated and simply looked away. Rudo, who just happened to be standing where Topher looked, simply nodded in his direction; guess he approves of me keeping my big dumb mouth shut. Behind him, he could hear Zanasha stroking Hana's hair and muttering soothing noises; his blood boiled again at the thought that she might get away with this, but he forced himself to be still. We don't know everything yet. She really could be innocent.

Eventually, Hana's sobs dwindled to sniffles, then ceased entirely; she wavered, then pushed herself gently away from Zanasha. Wiping away tears from her perfect countenance (Topher noted bitterly that she hadn't so much as smudged her makeup), she backed away and seated herself once more on the chair she'd been tied to. Raising her chin defiantly, she primly arranged her hands in her lap. "I am ready."

"This isn't an interrogation," Topher sighed. Behind him, Zanasha retreated for some reason; he didn't understand anything anymore. "Just tell us what happened."

Hana took a long, shuddering breath, then nodded. "Much of it you know already. When I and the other F-Rankers were Summoned, we were confused and frightened... particularly when Chiba-san was... killed."

Rudo nodded sadly. "The young boy who could not stop screaming. I remember." He bowed his head, but said nothing further.

"After... we left..." Hana swallowed, then steadied herself, "we ran away. Ichirou-kun and I. His Unique Skill was Befriend Animal; he used it to sneak past guard dogs, and steal what we needed to leave Strathmore." Her eyes fell. "I begged him to take me with him. He refused at first, but I... I cried and... convinced him. He said..." -- she sniffled again -- "...he said leaving the city would be dangerous. That he didn't want me to be harmed."

Topher grimaced, but didn't comment. "Go on."

Hana nodded again. "We left the city... went East. Ichirou-kun could kill some of the weak monsters... he Leveled up, but I was too scared to do anything. We kept drifting, camping out, stealing..." She sighed. "We had a fight. He wanted to... well, you can probably guess what he wanted to do. He was a boy." She clutched her arms, staring into space. "I loved him, but I wasn't... I wasn't ready. He didn't understand."

"Ugh." Topher squeezed his eyes shut. I don't want to feel sorry for you. Stop making this gross and uncomfortable.

"So I ran away. Again." Hana shook herself, turning towards Zanasha with a forlorn look that Topher couldn't interpret. "I met Zee. She taught me to fight... taught me to believe in myself. I Leveled up, too... and I felt like I could face Ichirou-kun." She sighed. "I went back, but he wasn't the same. He'd made new friends..." She turned to look at Topher, her gaze steeling. "He became a thief. Not to survive, but for money and pride. For the approval he could get from his new friends, instead of me."

"Aw, hell." Topher could see where this was going.

"I tried to... repair things between us. I made many poor decisions." The young Japanese woman drew her feet up into the chair, her white hair falling across her face. "I went back and forth, between him and Zee, for several years. When I attained Level 5, and unlocked my Enhanced Charisma Skill, things changed between us again; he was kind, like the boy he'd been before. But I couldn't forget the things we'd both said. That we'd both done."

"Hana-chan, I have told you many times," Zanasha spoke softly into the pause which followed. "You must forgive yourself."

Hana ignored the half-orc. "We had... I guess you could call it a 'complicated relationship'. We fought and separated many times, but we were too entangled with each other to ever really move on." She squeezed her knees again. "When he got sick, I was... not supportive. I am ashamed to say that I was afraid of... the burden of his care. Eventually, I came back, promised that I would stay with him..." The young woman closed her eyes. "He was very ill by that point. His body was so thin it felt like his hand would break as I held it. As usual, I made up my mind too late; when I left to find a priest who could cure him, I did not ask questions that I should have."

Topher nodded grimly. "Let me guess. They were willing to help him, but for a price. And they told you all about how Otherworlders are secretly evil monsters that just look like people."

"It is not quite that simple," Hana demurred, "but you are close enough for the essence of things. And by the time I had... done what they asked of me... and came back..." She sniffled again. "Ichirou-kun was..."

There was another brief pause before Hana recovered herself again. "I tried to move on. Joined the Adventurer's Guild with Zee. When I found out about the Gatekeepers, I thought that I could be someone new... do something better than just killing Jelly Slimes and goblins. Until they contacted me again."

"Who contacted you? The priests?" Topher leaned forward. "Were they in the adventurer's guild?"

"They are everywhere," Hana sighed. "The Demon Lord's intelligence network does not stop at priests and temples. They have agents -- not many, but highly placed -- in every nation and every guild; any order or law, any item or spell, can be guided through their hands if they wish it. When I finally gained a meeting, at long last, with Lorachian -- my contact with the Gatekeepers -- they were already there, pulling my strings." She gestured aimlessly. "They gave me the Flux Blade, and taught me its use; used him to assign me missions, with admissions to the Gatekeepers as the prize they dangled before me. I have killed..." she sighed. "I have killed four people."

"And you were only Level 7?" Topher realized it was crass as soon as it left his mouth, but Hana shook her head.

"It takes more XP to Level each time. And my... targets... were not high-Level themselves." Her voice broke on the last word, but she recovered and continued. "The Gatekeepers badge -- the gray star -- is a communication device. I can only receive orders through it, but often that is enough." Her gaze turned inward again. "Waymaster Borgura was set up. The Demon Lord wished to foment suspicion and dissent within their ranks; soon Lorachian will engineer a coup within the ranks of their leadership, and another organization will be suborned to the Demon Lord's will."

"To what end? What does he desire?" asked Zanasha in bewilderment. "I had heard the Demon Lord pursued only destruction."

Hana shook her head. "I don't know, Zee. No one ever told me anything other than where to go and what to do. I got..." she shuddered. "I got the impression I would only stay alive as long as I was useful. So I stayed useful."

"Hana-chan..." Zanasha grimaced. "You cannot have believed that would end well."

Topher shrugged. "Maybe not. But maybe being dead later is a lot better than being dead right now." He stood, creaking less than he expected, and turned to face Hana. "I might not agree with everything you did, but this at least is something I can understand. But it still doesn't explain why you didn't tell us once the cat was out of the bag."

Hana paused, trembling slightly. "I was..." She swallowed, then looked away. "I was afraid. I didn't think you would listen to me. I didn't... exactly have a plan." She shrugged, looking defeated. "I thought I might lose, and be killed. Or, if I won, I could run away. I don't know."

"To improvise is no failing," commented Rudo, righting the last of the fallen tables. He moved between Topher and Zanasha, facing Hana squarely. "But the question remains; what will you do now? Will you return to the Demon Lord, and report your failure? Or will you attempt to flee his wrath?"

Hana shrunk in on herself, seeming very small. "I don't know," she said again, in a tiny voice. "I just don't know."

Rudo nodded, then turned to Zanasha. "And you?"

The half-orc looked torn; her eyes flickered back and forth between Hana and the doorway. "I..." She clenched her fists, straightening up slightly. "I will wait for Hana-chan to make up her mind," she said at last. "She is my friend."

Rudo nodded again. "Of course, young woman. Of course." Finally, he turned to Topher. "And you?"

Topher didn't mince words. "Fuck this Demon Lord guy and his bullshit. I don't want to get involved, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just grab my ankles for him." He, too, turned towards the doorway, his expression bleak. "When Kelfir comes to check up on us, I'll tell him what really happened. He's owed the truth, even if it will destroy his life."

"Destroy his life?" Zanasha blinked again. "Why would such information be harmful to the archmage?"

Topher sighed. "Kelfir's already half-killing himself trying to defend against the Demon Lord's forces as he wakes back up. The only thing keeping him from burning himself out entirely was trying to be there for his wife and remaining kid." He felt his right hand clench into a fist involuntarily. "But finding out that he can blame the Demon Lord for Cailu's death is going to send him right off the deep end all over again."

Unexpectedly, Hana ventured into the conversation. "Is it possible he might not? That he might choose his living family over the dead?"

"He won't have a choice." Topher's words felt cold on his tongue. "His self-geas will compel him to sacrifice everything." In his mind, he could see the chain of reasoning as plainly as writing on a wall; Kelfir would scourge himself to the bone to prevent every other parent in the world from feeling the pain of standing over their children's graves, and no amount of counterbalancing empathy would stop him from throwing Varissian and his wife into the fire right along with himself; the ethical calculus would steamroll everything. "The Demon Lord will destroy him, and that'll be the tipping point that Quint and the other archmages won't be able to come back from. They'll have to divert the C-Rankers and D-Rankers into damage control, and the Demon Lord will be able to split them up and crush them at his leisure."

Hana froze in horror. "But the S-Rankers! The Infinite Dungeon...!"

"They're getting outplayed," Topher said slowly, the realization dawning in his mind as he said it. "Saiki went rogue when Arima was killed. She's the wild card, but it almost doesn't matter what she does; all the Demon Lord has to do is not fight Sugimoto, and there's a million ways he could do that. If he stalls long enough, he wins, and he can just keep Sugimoto chasing him while he kills off the rest of the kids and the archmages one by one." He turned to Rudo. "You're the only one with any agency in all this. What are you going to do?"

"Me?" Rudo raised an iron-gray eyebrow. "Mister Bailey, I am but a simple Innkeeper. While Level 38 may be sufficient to defend myself from whatever trouble finds me, it is not nearly enough to go against the Demon Lord, let alone the body entire of his armies and organizations. I am a fly in a sandstorm, surviving only as long as I do not turn against the wind."

"Wisdom," Zanasha murmured. "But it does not avail us."

"Right." Topher felt sick and sad. "And when doing the smart thing isn't going to work, the only thing left is the stupid thing." Heavily, he stumbled to a nearby table and sat down, putting his head in his hands. Fucking Christ. "We're going to have to confront the Demon Lord ourselves." His eyes full of despair, he raised his head to look Rudo in the eye. "And that means telling us how you got to Level 38 and learned all those Skills, because we're gonna have to get good real fast."