Zeroth Moment: My Cheat Skill Is Stupid, So I'll Just Ignore It

Hana bolted up out of her chair, face white; even Zanasha's jaw dropped in disbelief. But Rudo simply nodded, as though he had expected this all along, and seated himself calmly across from Topher. "Of course. You wish to know how I became so powerful -- though I would not refer to myself in that way. I am much weaker than any D-Rank or above Class would be at my Level."

"Yeah, well, we're stuck with our Classes, so let's make the best of 'em," Topher retaliated. "You're a hell of a lot stronger than any of us -- shit, none of us are even Level 30, and we maybe have one Minor Skill each. How'd you get so many? And Level up so fast?"

The older man nodded again. "The beginning of my tale is not dissimilar to the young lady's; I too quickly departed Strathmore, making my way into smaller towns and villages where I could find work. I unlocked my Class fairly early, while waiting tables in a dining establishment; but, like many Classes, it granted me no Skills at first." He stroked his gray, curly beard thoughtfully. "However, my Unique Skill, Perfect Slumber, was much more powerful than anyone -- including myself -- anticipated. It has many uses; I can sleep or awaken at will, much like a dwarf, and I heal rapidly while sleeping -- though I still bear the scars of any injury." He regarded the still-seeping wounds Hana's bladed chain had made upon his skin meaningfully, then continued. "But its most powerful aspect is the conversion of short-term memory into long-term memory; in short, I retain everything I remember when I sleep. With judicious contemplation, I can use such a capability to master Skills much more quickly than others -- though, like others, I cannot progress beyond Rank C of the Minor Skill manifestation unless I am granted it by my Class."

"Wait, so you just... learned a bunch of shit, then went to sleep really well?" Topher's expression was both scornful and incredulous.

Rudo bowed -- possibly mockingly, to Topher's estimation -- and then resumed his tale. "With such capabilities, I was able to quickly master basic Skills such as Know Direction and Weapon Familiarity -- simple Skills that would later combine into broader Skill groups. Cautiously, I ventured into the wilderness and defeated the weakest of monsters -- much as you all, I suspect -- and, after a few months, attained Level 5. Upon reaching such a state, I unlocked the first Skills of the Innkeeper Class -- Stocked Larder, Cooking, and Brewing -- which made me a welcome presence at the local adventurer's guild. Though not a member, they were happy enough to demonstrate their Skills to me in exchange for a meal or an ale; thus, I slowly accumulated Skills and increased my Level, occasionally posing as an adventurer myself to round out parties. Before long, I had attained Level 10 -- gaining the Sense Troubles Skill -- and further parlayed such a capability into more demonstrations and lessons."

"Seriously?!" Hana looked like she was about to explode. "Your secret weapon was beer and hot dogs?"

"Hey, the Power of Snacks compels everybody," Topher protested. "Feeding a hungry dog's the fastest way to get a new friend."

"Just so." Rudo nodded again. "Eventually, I became too strong to gain XP from the local monsters; I moved further and further towards the frontier, making myself useful in rougher and more dangerous settlements as I progressed. Then, roughly two years after my arrival in this land, I reached Level 15, and gained the Innkeeper Skill Good Host, which rewards XP for performing Innkeeping duties based on the Level of the guest served."

Topher's mouth dropped open. "That's what you're doing here. You're out here grinding Levels by serving stew to high-Level people. What, did you Level up from feeding us dinner?"

Rudo grinned slyly. "I was Level 37 when you entered, yes."

"Ingenious." Zanasha blinked, then cautiously settled at the table with Rudo and Topher. "But how could you be assured of the patronage of powerful adventurers?"

"Hah." Topher smiled, finally getting it. "He's parked where the fishing's good. There's gotta be a dungeon near the inn." He raised an eyebrow at Rudo. "Right?"

The old man's smile broadened, and he pointed downwards with satisfaction. "Under the inn, of course. How else would I be assured of their custom?" He chuckled.

"You built your inn on top of a dungeon," Hana breathed, drawing closer (but still not sitting, Topher noticed). "How do you keep from being overrun with monsters?"

Rudo shrugged. "I hunt the upper levels from time to time, for my own XP as well as to cut down on such risk. I have also installed many traps and deterrents, including collapsing larger tunnels so that only smaller monsters leave the dungeon's deeper levels."

Topher sagged a little. "Still, if it took you ten years to make an XP machine that's only gotten you to Level 38 so far, that doesn't bode well for us trying to catch up in the span of a few weeks or months."

"Perhaps." Rudo nodded, not seeming discouraged at all. "You must recall that I was alone, and dedicated much of my time to construction and maintenance; with the four of us, and a more focused intention towards gaining Levels specifically, we might gather five or even ten Levels within such a timespan. But, as you say, that is not our objective; I had in mind more pressing matters." He folded his hands, looking at them all speculatively. "Now that the Demon Lord has sent assassins here, this place has served its purpose; I propose instead that we venture to its lowest depths and defeat its strongest monsters, including its primary guardian."

"That's crazy!" Topher sputtered. "If it's anything like the boss monsters in the Wanbourne dungeon, they'll be Level 50 or higher!"

"Likely at least Level 60, if not 65 or 70," Rudo confirmed, to gasps from Hana and Zanasha. "But XP would only be our secondary objective." He shifted, revealing a jeweled belt that had been concealed by the waistband of his trousers; Topher squinted at it, expecting a Status to appear, but nothing happened. "Powerful monsters in dungeons often possess magic items which can increase one's combat prowess far beyond what one's Level might imply; I have slain monsters of Level 45 and above, despite being nowhere near that Level myself. I can also Cook and Brew advanced meals, which can raise our Attributes." He tucked the belt away again, then folded his hands once more. "A dungeon guardian such as this beast may well have a unique artifact treasure, or even several, that may allow us to survive even in places as dangerous as Vorn."

"Holy shit." Topher could barely breathe. "You want to leapfrog past the C- and D-Ranker armies, and go straight for the Demon Lord's castle. By ourselves."

Rudo nodded yet again. "I further suspect that a passage to Vorn lies beneath the dungeon's lowest level, though it is stupefyingly dangerous; furthermore, I do not believe this dungeon is unique in that regard. If the Demon Lord's forces use dungeons to infiltrate the civilized lands..."

"Then they can blend right in with the adventurers," Hana gasped in shock. "They save them, make friends, eliminate the ones they don't like and make it look like monsters did it." She shook her head, as if dazed. "But how are they passing for other races?"

Topher frowned. "Maybe they're not. Did you ever meet an actual demon, other than that Capras that tried to kill us? Or just other humans, dwarves, and elves who could have been paid off?"

Hana shook her head. "Everyone I have interacted with has been a spy for the Demon Lord's forces, not a demon themselves. I assumed they were being manipulated, just like me, but..." She cocked her head curiously, then frowned. "And that Capras definitely tried to kill us, despite the fact that my handlers assured me that wouldn't happen. I thought maybe they were trying to clean up loose ends; but when Zee pushed me down the hill, they contacted me through my badge and told me to maintain my cover."

Abruptly, Topher flashed back to a memory of Hana holding her head in her hands at the foot of the hill; he thought she'd been cowering in fear. His guts clenched. How long was she playing us? But, with difficulty he fought it down; Same team, at least for now. Strange bedfellows. Yeah, that's it. "That means," he pondered out loud, drumming his fingertips on the tabletop, "that we still don't know what's really going on. For all we know, this could be somebody else playing spy games and just blaming the Demon Lord. Shit, it might be two entirely different groups; 'The Demon Lord' might be some kind of gangster nickname, or something else stupid like that."

Rudo shrugged. "It is possible. I have been stalked by, and defeated, other assassins whose Statuses claimed they were sent by 'the Demon Lord', but I have no proof; for all I know, it may even be possible to fool my Innkeeper Status-querying abilities." He stood up. "Perhaps we should not go to Vorn. If the Demon Lord who slumbers there is not involved..."

"No," interrupted Zanasha, "He is." Her face screwed up in concentration, she held up a finger for silence. "In the dungeons beneath Strathmore castle, Friend Topher was warned by one of the higher-ranked Otherworlders that the Demon Lord's spies had infiltrated the castle -- a fact that Archmage Quint Aumraham confirmed. It must be that the Demon Lord engages both demonic and non-demonic spies."

"Hey, yeah," interjected Topher, feeling stupid that he hadn't figured it out before this. "That's the only way any of this makes sense." He stood up and began pacing, trying not to chew on his beard. "He's playing both sides of the game, but why? With his army, he could just steamroll everything, especially with Saiki and all the lower-ranked Otherworlders out of the way." We're missing something, he fretted. Something important.

Hana, slowly and reluctantly, sat down next to Zanasha. "I still think it's crazy, but..." She shrugged. "I'm dead either way. They'll probably kill me now that I've failed, just like the Gatekeepers."

Topher sighed. "That settles it, then. Maybe we'll get lucky and get killed in the dungeon first."

"Atypical bravery, perhaps, but it will suffice." Rudo grinned and shot to his feet, practically bouncing with energy. "But first, we must equip ourselves."