The Simpsons: Bart

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Dear Diary, my name is Terry McLbery, in case in the three years since I've written anything in you, you've forgotten. Basically, not much has changed in my life. I'm still an unremarkable girl, with a pretty good shape that I'm proud of..... But it's hard to be proud when there's an exact duplicate of you in the world, literally right outside your room.

Lately, Sherry and I have drifted apart. She's more interested in dancing than movies or boys. I'm not interested in dancing at all, outside of scenes in films, or an invitation from some pretty boy. Speaking of cute guys, one of them also played a part in my sister and I drifting apart.

I've been dating Bart Simpson for four months. Yes, the boy my sister and I loved to tease as kids. I think, dear diary, you remember him. I guess my relationship with Bart is the biggest thing that's happened in three years.

Bart had changed a lot. He's lost weight, he's gotten taller, he's pumped up. But those pluses come with a minus, or should I say minus, wrestling. I don't really like wrestling. It is rough and some kind of uninteresting sport. Honestly, judging by Bart, I don't think he enjoys wrestling at all. After his recent defeat and injury, he was really annoyed, we almost had a fight.

He told me to leave him alone, can you believe it?! Me, his girlfriend! To be honest, I thought that was the end of our relationship. I agreed with my friends to go to the cinema with some guys from her class... In the end, we didn't go on a date together, because...

I

I did

I did it!

With Bart Simpson!

It was so romantic! And Bart was so gentle and caring! My first time was truly magical.

And we did a lot of other things after that.)

Basically, our relationship has gotten better, hasn't it? It's just that we started to talk a lot less than we do, which makes it hard to say if the relationship itself has improved. Even so, I was fine with it, and now.....

It's a struggle again. A new tournament of some kind. Why can't Bart just dump her and spend more time with me? Go on dates? Go out on the town? Just hang out in each other's rooms? And not just hang out in each other's rooms? I don't understand him at all.

And Sherry's on his side. She says I should leave him alone and let him do whatever he chooses to do. Honestly, I think he and Sherry are like that. She also withdraws during rehearsals before performances. It's funny to think, but Bart and Sherry would probably make a good couple.

Except he's mine.

All mine.

Bart was cool with our close relationship with his sister. It even turned him on. I was so caught up in the moment, I told him about my erotic fantasies. One time I even dressed up as Lisa, Bart's sister.

Honestly, I don't like Lisa. That time I wanted to dress up and rub her nose in it.

I'm jealous of Bart for her. After all, they sleep under the same roof, cross paths and share bathrooms.

I imagine them taking baths together like Sherry and me. How Lisa rubs her breasts in the bubble bath on Brother's back, how she caresses his whole body with her hands in gel, how she reaches her fingers to his rod, which she doesn't let go until the moment of release on his part! My skin is covered with goosebumps!

Still, they're brother and sister, and if their relationship is anything like Sherry and I, they're probably doing similar things....

Ugh, I'm so mad!

.....

Sorry I've been away, dear diary. I called Bart to come over. Thank God he hasn't started building up his testosterone yet.

But anyway, we'll refrain from thinking about Bart and Lisa for now until after the wrestling tournament.

Back to my relationship with Bart. I guess it's gonna take him a while to get used to my fetishes. Which is odd, because they're peaceful and not too perverted.

As for Bart, he likes curves and roundness. He prefers to have either a breast, an arse or a thigh in view and in his hand at all times. That's easy to understand, because he doesn't look me in the eye at all... Well, almost. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. Sometimes you want romance.

Even now, not fifteen minutes after that, Bart zipped up his jeans and climbed out the window to get back to the gym to work out. No talking, no hugging, and with only a kiss goodbye.

I agree with Sherry that wrestling is his thing, and it's important to him. But his girlfriend isn't?

Seriously, how nice it would be if Bart would just quit his stupid wrestling! Do something that would cause me less stress. At least he could go dancing with Sherry!

I'm sure Sherry could keep an eye on him and save me another reason to worry. Tournaments involve travelling around the state and the country. What happens to good-looking guys in great shape in other cities?

They get hung up on.

When you think of Bart's relationship history, it's scary.

Recently, this bitch, Jessica Lovejoy, came up and asked about Bart and why he stopped going to church. Before Bart won the state tournament, she wasn't interested in him at all, and now she's not.

If you went to his school's private student group, you could easily stumble upon rumours about his relationship with Isabella Gutierrez.

Who, judging by her social media accounts, is overly preoccupied with politics and it remains a mystery how any guy could be interested in her. Interested in politics as keenly as who?

Right! Bart's sister, Lisa! Doesn't that prove there's something between them?! At least an attraction?!

What about Becky Shorter, who Bart rescued from the fire? What about Lisa's friend Jenny? There were rumours about her and Bart at her last school. I'm sure she'd love to get back to the Bart of today.

And besides, my rivalry count is up to five. And that's just the ones I know about. Sherry seems to be the only girl I can trust about Bart. She's the only one who understands that--

Bart belongs to me

Bart belongs to me.

Although Sherry is not without her faults. When I tell her about my suspicions, she tells me to chill out and calls me crazy.

She just doesn't get it. She's never been seriously interested in anyone, so she doesn't understand how scary it is to think about betraying someone you love. That someone you trusted with your life would turn their back on you.

But that's not Bartik, is it?

Bartik's not like that.

Bartik's just mine.

Speaking of other things that make me feel bad about our relationship. is that Bart still hasn't introduced me to his parents and family. I don't even know if they know I exist.

Basically Bart doesn't talk much about his family at all, most of the time answering my questions about them in one-word answers. You'd think they were fighting. Although Bart says that he has a normal relationship with his family and that he loves them in principle. However, his reticence makes me wonder in what specific way he loves Lisa?

For the record, he has never once told me that he loves her. Of course, I'm trying not to rush him into a confession, and I'm not making a scene. But how annoying it is when on your words of love, a man slows down for a minute, like a cheap smartphone, and then answers 'aha', or 'well, and I kind of too', or 'thank you'!

What's so hard about saying you love me? Doesn't he like me? Then why is it that when I wave my finger at him, he comes running, dropping his knickers on the run? Are we having a bad time together? Then why did Bart wait so long for me to give it to him?

They say girls are hard, but it's the guys who are hard. They can't take a hint, they can't tell you how they feel. I mean, it's pretty obvious that--

Bart loves me.

Bart only loves me.

Maybe we should listen to the experts on the Internet. Start flirting with Milhouse to make Bart jealous? It's written that men only take action after they realise they might lose you.

But flirting with Milhouse?

I'm not saying he's ugly or a bad guy. I mean, he's my boyfriend's best friend, so I wouldn't say that. It's just that he's-- How should I put it? Not flirty.

And I don't know how I'd feel about Bart openly flirting with anyone in front of me. I'd forgive him after an explanation, but the girl he was flirting with--

I'd rip her hair out.

Then cut off the bald head.

and make soup out of it.

And by eating it, Bart could earn forgiveness.

Therefore, for someone else's sake, and the well-being of his own stomach, Bart must cheat behind my back.

Stop! Wrong conclusion!

Although sex is just sex. I think I can forgive cheating like that. Especially at our age, boys can be out of control. But if he falls in love with someone else!

That--

I...

I won't forgive!

But boys think differently, don't they? It's more important to them to have penetration than to have feelings. Then again, they also call us girls weird.

Although Bart seemed okay with what happened between me and Sherry. He doesn't seem to care that we're still around and that something could happen again.

Does Bart really trust me that much?! Trusts me with all his heart and a hundred per cent?!

I told you he loves me!

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me, that's all.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me, not Lisa.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me and no one else.

Bart loves me.

Bart loves me

Bart loves me and he doesn't care about anybody else.

Bart loves me

Bart loves me

Bart loves me, and we'll always be together.