The Love They Never Had

"Mistress? What is wrong?" "Of all the years that I have been in service, I have never heard of the illegitimate children arriving to war on a later date, just like the Young Master said. I want you to look into this for me." "Yes mistress." "And what is going on with Chun-Ae? What will her final punishment be? Have you found out?" "She has embarrassed the Nam's enough, but it looks like the Young Master has taken your pain into account. She is to rot with the servants that hate her and it looks like whatever medicines she is able to find for herself have already been tainted long ago. It causes her nightmares and she cannot sleep all night long, and that is why her appearance...has changed. It makes her look like she is perishing out of her own guilt." "I always knew that Lord Nam was ruthless, and he did not let me down at all. Finally, after the years of humiliation injustice and just sheer abuse has finally come to an end, which was my entire purpose of me constantly trying to win over the young master every chance I got. And now that the biggest bully of our village had met her end at my hands, now was the time to enjoy myself in the Young Master's residence and reap the rewards of my hard work as the concubine of the Young Master Nam. And if any other woman who wanted to walk through these doors as a bride or a concubine was not going to stand a chance against me. "What are you going to do now mistress? Until the Nam's return, you are going to have to stay as a maid of this household..." "We will look into her history into this household and find out exactly what made her so favoured by Nam Jeon himself, who would usually rather take his life than to acknowledge any lowborn close to him. And if anyone pleads on her behalf for a doctor, then take care of it. If I cannot find out how she held herself here for so long, then she will not live to see the Nam's return. And speaking of the Nam's, where is the Young Master now?" "He is bidding his goodbyes to his cousin, he has been with her for a while now." As uncomfortable as I was with this information, I could only count my blessings at how distracted he was as I did not hesitate to raid Chun-Ae's old quarters so I could do what I needed to do without being interrupted. Just because I had been slowly maid my whole life, I wasn't stupid. I knew how to observe my peers overtime and I knew for a fact that it was usually the illegitimate children of the family who were usually the most ambitious, intelligent and scariest people of all to deal with.

But I couldn't find anything, no matter how hard I looked or what conclusions I had come up with, none of them made any sense at all. Chun-Ae had always been just a common girl for all of her life, so why did the Nam's give her such a high position in a family as powerful as theirs? What was the reason for it? Actually, now that I thought about it, I didn't even get the chance to pull her down to the position where she was at today. I had so many tricks up my sleeve, so many plans of revenge that were centred around her daily life and so many other ways to induce genuine guilt in her rather than just poisoning her to make her go out of her mind. I was even supposed to meet the Young Master earlier if it wasn't for the fact that he had started staying home a lot more for the first time in two decades, or so I have been told when I asked about him. In fact, it had happened as soon as he passed the military exam, which I had heard that he hadn't even so much had a celebration for it. And now he was just going off to war? Whilst everyone else who was going to war alongside him were barely sober until now in their own celebrations? If I wanted to be pulled up into the position of concubine, then I was going to have to take notice of these things more and help him change. As long as he had me, he was no longer going to be an isolated half-breed who was going to be overlooked at every turn. So the very first thing that I had to do was to learn how to read and write, and I knew exactly who could help me. "Is she still with the Young Master? This so-called cousin of his? He is with her after all of this time instead of tending to me? She will pay for this."

So I made my way over to her quarters, only to see the Young Master himself just staring at something that was hiding behind the tall flowers that I recalled watching the Nam servants walking all around the village with as if they were putting on some sort of parade. So...the Young Master really did all of that? For his cousin? But the look on his face at this very moment made it clear that she was anything but a cousin to him. And just stood there like a statue for a good 5 minutes before turning away to leave for war, unaware if he was going to return or not. "Mistress? Mistress? What is the matter?" "The fall of Chun-Ae, it wasn't down to us, we only arrived after everything else had happened." "Mistress?" "Chun-Ae's reign in his household, didn't it come to an end as soon as this co-called cousin moved in?" "Well..." "The men in this home have never paid that much attention to her, it was only when another woman moved in that a handful of her servants here have lost their jobs. I want you to look into this so-called cousin as much as you can whilst I meet here. And I expect a full report when I return back to my quarters. I also need to know all of Chun-Ae's responsibilities both in and out of this household before I can start taking over." Being through what had survived numerous times, I was not a woman who scares easily like all the rest. I was different; I was confident, I was intelligent, I was thoughtful and very thorough in my actions. So why then did I have an ominous feeling when I tried to look beyond the flowers? In what looked like the only female quarters in this house? Surely, such quarters should be fit enough for a concubine instead of my lowly and desolate quarters, even if I did have it all to myself. I could not and would not wait for my status to rise overtime when there was already a fully furnished and most likely a better equipped fireplace not far from where I was situated at all. And as for this so-called orphaned cousin of the Young Master, she was going to have to settle elsewhere if my suspicions were correct. If it was her who brought down Chun-Ae's reign of terror in just a few weeks, then who knew what else she would be capable of if she become an obstacle in my path to success? "Mistress?" "What is it?" "You were right, there are no separate dates for illegitimate sons to depart for the war, all families must travel together despite their ranks."

I was about to head into my new quarters, but Chun-Ae speech about this cousin kept replying itself in my head over and over again. Maybe this was her trick to make me paranoid about someone in the family and to sow discord between us so I would get on the Young Master's bad side instantly and have me kicked out. So maybe I should lest the situation? No, it was far too early to do such a thing only a few hours before he was to depart from his household. If I picked on his cousin too early, then who knows what sort of animosity that could create before I had the chance to become a concubine? Many maids and fallen into these sorts of traps and I had worked too hard to falter now, and especially not straight after I had just entered this household. But I also felt like if I didn't face this girl who had managed to tear down my enemy before I did, then I would keep putting it off and that wouldn't do me any favour then.

So I managed to almost stealthily tiptoe to her quarters where she was watering her plants in an elegant way that some other noble daughters had a hard time pulling off. I still couldn't see her face as she had her back turned away from me. But then she went about cleaning her quarters with her own hands, which was the most unusual thing I had ever seen. Why would a noble woman clean herself without using any servants or other help at all? She was even doing her own laundry and cooking before she started on her calligraphy. I couldn't see to much since I was watching her from a distance, but even her smallest of moments were as elegant as I had ever seen. Maybe, just maybe, despite her poor background, she really could be a threat to me if I ever wanted to improve myself to be as refined as she was. Or should I learn from her in a friendly manner? That would surely earn me some points with the Young Master and if she really did pose to be threat to me, then I could deal with her in my own time.