Thank You For Being Trash

Rewan entered the room, confirming that someone was there. It was still dark outside, and the thunder that had started to strike ceaselessly embroidered the night sky. The light came in in a flashing moment, and his figure was clearly visible.

At that moment, identifying my reddish hair, Rewan asked me.

“Why are you two together?”

His sharp voice and gaze.

I couldn't believe that this Rewan had whispered love during the day, so my heart skipped a beat at his cold behavior. For a moment, my reason was suppressed by the alcohol’s influence. Even that disappeared in the simmering alcohol’s influence.

He stood in the middle, blocking the gap between Lepis and me.

Paralyzed, I buried my face in Rewan's back and held onto his clothes. Even if the warmth would soon fade, I wanted to fully covet him even a little bit more until then. What they were talking about was already out of my mind. I didn't hear it.

“This is because I have something to apologize to her.”

“What crime did you commit?”

“I helped ruin her country, judged her as I pleased and insulted her…”

I was so tired I wanted to let go. However, I managed to gather myself together because I wanted to feel Rewan’s warmth and body temperature so close to me even a little more. I was pleasantly surprised by his scent.

“I was forced to covet her.”

As the sword came from Rewan's scabbard, my body clinging to him body also shook with the violent movement.

Getting on my knees, I forced myself up and hugged his chest. My arms and legs trembled as my body couldn't move according to my will, as my mind went blank. What kind of conversation did they have? The conversations I didn’t hear were floating in my head.

Afraid that he might kill Lepis, I held on tightly to his chest. My heart raced without thinking about the situation.

“No! Don't do it.”

Perhaps I’d tell him how I feel. It was already evident, but now I screamed at him because I wanted to hide it.

Rewan's body trembled slightly. I couldn't see his face, so I didn't know why he was shaking.

“Forcibly coveting you, insulting you… why do you keep him around but not me?”

A voice filled with resentment pounded on my heart. It broke my heart. Rewan was angry with me. I was choking on the overflowing negative emotions.

“I thought you had no one by your side. Just like it's hard when you look at me, I'm afraid that when you look at them, you'll think of that time and find yourself in pain, too, so I thought there was no one left with you…”

I could feel the pain he felt. It was painful. I could feel the pain in his heart so much that my heart was about to collapse together. My heart hurt. It was screaming in so much pain, still, I barely held back the tears.

I didn't deserve to cry.

Don't cry.

‘Why are you crying? Don't cry.’

“I'm afraid you won't be happy if I'm by your side, so I tried to leave. However, they… why them?”

Throughout the conversation, Rewan's body trembled. I felt guilty. I felt a deep sense of guilt about him. I didn't want to hear the words coming out of his mouth that made me feel more guilty.

“Rewan. Please stop. Don't do it…”

“But why? Why?! You put me to the test, and I truly wonder why you are doing this to me. It's painful, Arne. I am really suffering. Arne…”

He muttered in despair. Rewan's hand, holding his sword, trembled as he let out a furious sigh.

In the meanwhile, Lepis just dropped his head as if he was waiting calmly though he didn't do anything. Time passed without any noise or action. That short moment felt so long. I waited for Rewan's action without breathing.

There was nothing I could do to force Rewan. There was no reason for him to follow my orders nor any justification for him to follow my orders. Even so, Rewan opened his sword hand. As he put down his sword, the sword fell to the floor.

Crack.

When lightning struck, I could see his eyes filled with despair in the brightened space.

“Arne. Why are you doing this to me?”

“….”

Tears flowed.

My paralyzed body, engulfed by the alcohol, could not follow my will even when I didn’t deserve to cry. Tears dripped down as if the tear ducts were broken. I tried to wipe away my tears by raising my hand, but even that didn't go well, and my body leaned limply.

The scent of rich wine rose from my exhaled breath.

“…It took so long to reach you.”

Rewan held onto my shaking body as he turned his head and looked at me. Holding my shoulder with one hand, he gently raised his other hand to wipe the tears from my eyes.

“There are too many obstacles to seeing you, so I want to give up again and again.”

I raised my head to the dripping drops of water and looked at him. Rewan was also crying.

“I endured with the single thought that you were waiting for me. It was nothing but the countless harsh and arduous pains.”

“I…! I told you not to come, I told you to run away.”

I told you to run away, I told you to forget me, I told you not to come.

Rewan, who had been running so far, felt resentful for nothing and patted my chest. He grabbed my hand as he patted me. He seemed very shocked. He looked at me with confused eyes.

“…Arne. What are you talking about?”

“I told you not to come…”

“What… are you saying?”

The conversation got repeated over and over again. Me asking why he had come, and him asking me what did I say.

I felt something was wrong with the conversation that kept spinning like a treadmill. Words that did not agree with each other. He acted like someone who couldn't remember anything and couldn't hear me.

Something went through my head.

The feeling of deja vu I felt then.

“Run away… forget me.”

“Maybe I'm too late.”

I looked in the direction where Lepis was at the sharp smell of blood rising from somewhere as blood flowed from his arm as if it had been cut by the falling sword. Rewan also turned his head towards Lepis.

Rewan slowly turned his head to look at me again.

“Arne.”

Rewan had changed.

The eyes, the expression, the voice. The strangeness I felt then… an awkward smile and shy eyes, he acted like he hadn't come across my tragedy.

“…Why don't you let me kill that bastard?"

“Re… Rewan?”

“Isn’t he the Emperor’s aide who insulted you? But why won't you let me kill him? Did you like his body?”

His tears stopped as Rewan got up. He picked up the fallen sword and swung the knife a couple of times in the air.

As the sword soaked in Lepis' blood splashed blood, blood dripped onto the floor.

What was I looking at right now, was I watching the right scene because of the alcohol, or was I staring at something wrong because I was drunk? No, all the alcohol was gone, and everything looked clear. Maybe it was all fantasy. Maybe I was crazy now. If not, why did this happen?

Stagger.

I took a step away from Rewan. I walked straight toward Lepis like I didn't care. I ran in front of Rewan, who was aiming his sword at him, and closed the gap between them. Lepis was still on his knees, holding onto his bloody shoulder, which had been lightly cut.

The drunkenness that was eating me was gone. I grabbed his shoulder and clung on him.

“Rewan, don’t do it…! Please, don’t.”

Was this my sin? Was it a sign of my sins?

“Arne, I asked if you liked that b*stard’s body so that’s why you want me to spare him?”

I grabbed his hand that held the sword and hung on.

…He was not the Rewan I knew.

My body trembled with fear.

“I was in so much pain. It was so painful… it was like going crazy.”

He acted like he was out of his mind.

I didn’t know why he suddenly changed like this. In an instant, the situation reached a catastrophe, and I shouted at Lepis. I looked at him.

“Get out…! Get out!”

“Arne, he is dangerous.”

Lepis wasn’t even afraid of death. Even though he knew very well whom Rewan was trying to kill, he stood in front of me.

I pushed him and screamed.

“Get out!”

I grabbed Rewan's hand, holding the sword and gazed at Lepis with desperate eyes.

Please get away from Rewan. Please run away… don’t die. Don't add my sins.

Rewan grabbed my chin.

“Where are you looking? Look at me, Arne.”

I bit my lip.

As he grabbed my chin and kissed my lips, he kissed my lips lightly and moved them over his mouth. His soft, hot lips moved over my mouth as he whispered on my lips. Sometimes his tongue touched my mouth.

A hot, moist breath sat on my lips.

“Arne. I lust after you like this.”

Rewan held me in his arms and rubbed his heated lower body against mine. The sound of hot, passionate breathing reached my ears. It was a strange breathing sound.

“Huht… Arne.”

Where did he who had been burning with murderous intent against Lepis until just now? He was violent until just now, but now he coveted s*x. My body stiffened at his erratic behavior. I watched nervously as Lepis left the room.

“Why. Can't you concentrate on me?”

With his half-closed eyes, he pushed me to bed with great force before I could hear the sound of a button being undone. He immediately took off my clothes. The soft fabric was torn in an instant, exposing the inner flesh to the air.

I struggled constantly.

“Aahh— ah… no. Rewan. Stop, stop. This isn’t you.”

I was afraid as I shook my head, struggling under him. At the same time, tears stopped flowing again. He licked my tear-stained eyes.

“Arne. Now, I can fully occupy you. Shouldn’t we catch one intruder before that?”

“Lepi…!”

Run away.

He covered my lips with one hand.

“Don’t put another man’s name with those lips. You've already sucked other d*cks. Isn’t that enough?”

When he put my loose clothes in my mouth and tied my hands together behind me, my mind wandered and I became dizzy. In an instant, I felt like I was thrown into a pit. There was a loud thunder. The rain poured down.

“I am waiting patiently. Don't open it to the other bastards.”

With blank eyes, I watched Rewan as he ran out of the room with a sword. Red blood flowed where Lepis was.

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