Surviving a Shounen Manga

Cocoavi, I Choose You!!

Three minutes ago.

"Hide, hide, don’t let me find[1]!"

"Hide, hide, don’t let me find!"

⁝

"That’s it. Count of a hundred."

"Good job."

"So, should we start?"

I nodded, looking up at the sky.

The time limit for this game of hide-and-seek was ‘until the sun went down’, just the type of vague rules that the goblins specialized in.

The sun was exactly overhead right now.

It’d take about five or six hours for it to set.

No, it’d be correct to plan for only five hours. Because they’d always interpret it in their favour.

Before that, we had to find the hundred hidden goblins.

The match was limited to this area, called the ‘Saboteur’s Lot’.

The reason why this area was designated was simple. Not only was it close, it also had the fewest saboteurs in the whole of the Goblin’s Den.

Basically, goblins really disliked hanging out with others of similar temperament. Because they got in each other’s way.

The mischief-makers quickly got bored of each other’s pranks, the liars painted each other as untrustworthy, and the whimsical scolded each other for their impatience. The bluffers habitually ignored each other, saying they were spouting bullshit, and the saboteurs couldn’t stand each other’s sight in the first place.

In the end, once the young goblins who awakened their unique abilities were assigned to the sites dedicated to their respective gods, the first thing they did was relocate. As a result, each site dedicated to a specific god always had the lowest headcount of its own worshippers. (And naturally as a result, the goblins could never escape their own kind, no matter where they went.)

Then,

"Let’s go! There’s no time to waste being lazy!"

Suddenly, Cocoa, who was leading the way, called me.

Now that she was wearing a horn instead of her usual mask, her shoulders looked quite broad and strong for some reason.

Maybe she was being so meticulous because she was feeling she didn’t contribute during the last event?

But it wasn’t easy for me to feel like I could lean on that little kid’s back.

Not because of her lack of ability. Because no matter how good a guide she might be, it was impossible to win this game of hide-and-seek without Chinuavi.

For example,

"Hey, follow me!"

"What’re you doing, just standing there?"

"It’s this way, you know?"

"Squatjaw you slowpoke!"

Situations like this where you absolutely needed a decipherer.

I sighed deeply as I watched four Cocoas call me from four directions.

‘Huh… but aren’t they showing their hands too soon? These impatient goblins.’

Around that time, the four Cocoas also noticed each other’s presence, and screamed in amazement.

"Wh-, who are these people?"

"G-, a goblin!"

"What? I’m the real one!"

"What’s going on?"

…

The roles of guides and decipherers are sometimes at odds.

For example, when the destination itself is locked behind an obstacle or a puzzle, a maze being the most typical example.

Going through the maze can not only be a guide’s job, but also a decipherer’s.

In the original work, in one chapter, Yan’s ghosts had found the way through the maze, but in another, Siana’s fairy had decided the path by manipulating probability.

But strictly speaking, it falls under the domain of the decipherers.

There’d been several discussions on this topic within the reader community, but each time the final conclusion had leaned towards the decipherer. Because this is closer to problem solving than pathfinding.

Still, the scope of the guide’s role is very wide. Since the concept of ‘path’ includes all the general matters including the ‘goal’ and the ‘solution’, sometimes conflicts like this can occur.

Perhaps because of this, there was one setting the author had made to protect the significance of the decipherers.

When a ‘special obstacle’ occurs due to someone’s ‘intention’, the path may become unreadable for a certain distance, and it requires a solution other than ‘merely seeing’.

In a nutshell, this meant that the guide’s eyes were automatically blurred when an obstacle appeared to obstruct the path. So that the responsibility could pass naturally to the decipherer of the party.

Of course, the truly OP pathfinders could brute force their way through this.

Anyway,

"Can’t you tell me apart?"

"Squatjaw, you can’t really be confusing me with somebody else, right?"

"Answer me! Hey, it’s me!"

It meant that I couldn’t tell Cocoa apart with my current eyes.

"… Huff."

I scratched my head.

Of course, this wasn’t a serious problem – at this moment.

"Hmph, this Cocoavi has been with the Squatjaw Folk Troupe for how many years? As if a few little goblins could take my place."

If the ‘real’ Cocoa said such ‘real words’, I could immediately recognize her.

But the problem was,

"Huh…? I think we swung and missed. This little kid talks in a pretty unique way."

"She’s a strange one… Is she actually enjoying this situation?"

"Well, this was just the first try, what can you do? Let’s start from scratch."

These goblins were also learning in real time.

Soon after,

Pop–.

Without waiting for me to take action, a smoke screen covered the area.

Then, as the fog that obscured my vision subsided,

"Ahem, Cocoavi is here."

"What happened… These little goblins switched my position!"

"… I didn’t even think of this."

"W-, wait, Cocoavi… D-, don’t panic…"

It was really hard to tell the difference.

‘… I really can’t tell.’

Of course, it’d be a little more annoying, but I’d still be able to tell them apart in the end. If I roughly ask about past events or compared our memories, I’d eventually be able to sort them all out.

But I didn’t want to waste time. Now there were three, but what if ten or twenty goblins took Cocoa’s form and came to bother me?

‘Ugh, that’d be a bit over the top.’

I’d initially planned to mimic Yan’s unique ability and mobilize the ghosts to search for the goblins. Although Cocoa was here as a guide, but we were facing a time limit, and there were as many as a hundred people to find. The setting was that all of my hidden characteristics would apply to the ghosts too, so they were all equipped with pathfinding eyes.

But I couldn’t choose that right now…

With tears in my eyes, I summoned somebody else instead of the ghosts.

[Probability Adjuster Who Hates Fairness].

Soon after,

Pyororong–.

A form with an amazing jaw that shocked me every time I saw it, appeared in front of me.

As soon as she saw me, she put her nose up in the air.

"Why is it you again?"

"…"

This was crazy.

"C’mon, isn’t it obvious? You’re a fairy I created. Who else is going to call you but me… wait, wait. Have you ever been summoned by somebody else?"

"Enough, now tell me, what’s this all about?"

"…"

Quite frankly, it was absurd how she was cutting off such an important conversation, but there was no time to dig deep into it. I wasn’t in a very relaxed situation right now, after all.

"Please tell me which one of them is a real human."

Then I picked up a branch that had fallen nearby.

With this girl who could control odds of something happening up to 99%, choosing one among four was child’s play.

Although, that didn’t mean she could pierce a goblin’s cloaking technique. I’d have to use pure probability to distinguish Cocoa through her, a bothersome process.

"Adjust the chance that a fallen tree branch will point to a human, to 99%. I’ll throw a couple of them, so, you know what to…"

"Has your brain gone blank?"

"… Eh?"

"You’re just trying to receive something without giving anything in return."

"…"

How embarrassing.

"What… what should I… give you?"

"Forget it."

"…"

I didn’t quite understand the mechanics of it. Whenever Siana used her unique ability, her fairy always kindly listened to the summoner. It didn’t seem like she was getting anything tangible in return.

Still, fortunately, although this girl was naggy, she did her job properly.

Soon after, the branches fell and pointed in one direction.

"Great."

With the squat-jawed fairy’s help I was able to pick out the real one, and the faces of the other three Cocoas immediately wrinkled as if they’d eaten shit.

"Did he solve it so quickly? That Squatjaw is using a strange ability."

"How about we try again?"

"If that’s how it is… why don’t we just hide?"

While they were chattering like that, I quickly approached Cocoa and decided to stick to her like glue.

"Too bad, so sad. Your bastard Squatjaw! I believed in you, but you couldn’t recognize me at a glance…"

"Yeah, yeah, now tell me, are these guys all hide-and-seek players?"

The reason I asked this was because they might not actually be participants.

I didn’t know how many goblins were currently inside the Saboteur’s Lot, but the number was definitely more than a hundred. Not all of them would be players, but I’d be naive to think that they wouldn’t be involved in the game.

Non-participants could also intervene. It’d been the same in the original.

In other words, a hundred people were playing hide-and-seek, meant only a hundred people could actually hide, and there were hundreds of others who’d try to disturb us, confuse us, and entice us with their lies.

"Hmm… I think they are."

"Alright."

I immediately took out the ‘bat’ given to me by Oldboy and ran towards the three.

And then,

"U-, uh?"

"R-, run away!"

The ones who’d slowly been getting ready to step out saw me coming and tried to run away post-haste, but it was already too late.

"Where’re you going!"

I quickly slapped them in the back with the bat.

Phut! Phut! Phut!

"Ouch!"

"Ouch! It hurts!"

"Ugh!"

Stop faking, will you?

I didn’t know what the material the bat was made from, but it was much softer than even rubber. It would hurt more if I slapped them with my palm instead.

The role of this bat was simple.

To tag players ‘out’.

"Hmm… is it okay to leave them here like this?"

I scratched my head as I looked at the three statues of stone scattered on the ground.

The goblins tagged (hit) with this bat would become rock statues until the game ended. It meant they’d have to stay still for half a day, lying on the ground, conscious but unable to move.

This was to enforce fairness, and to prevent the ones already eliminated from intervening again.

When it came to betting and sports, goblins had a strong professional spirit, so they were very strict in this area – apart from, of course, those who worshipped the God of Sabotage. All mental attack-type unique abilities were banned because they’d make the game unfair. That was how seriously they took it.

However, same as I’d felt in the original work, there was definitely a vicious and cruel side to their methods. Let’s take how they were transformed into living statues. There must’ve been other ways of eliminating them, but because they’d lost, they were left unattended like trash on the roadside.

Hmmm.

‘It definitely doesn’t match how a shounen manga should be…’

Then,

"We got three in three minutes? Won’t we catch them all soon?"

Cocoa came over to me.

"These three are just idiots, that’s all. If they’d gone and mixed inside the bunch of non-participants, we wouldn’t have found them so easily."

"Is that so?"

"So don’t relax."

I grabbed Cocoa and put her on my shoulder.

"Don’t go anywhere, just stay here and guide me. Where to next?"

"This feels great! You should’ve done this from the beginning."

"Quickly! Directions only!"

"Go straight ahead! I see two of them."

"Okay. Hold on tight, don’t fall."

Then I ran like the wind.

There were countless ways in which the goblins playing hide-and-seek could hide themselves, but if you had to categorize them, there were broadly two types.

The first type. Those who took the initiative.

The guys who pretended to be Cocoa and tried to confuse me were also this type.

Other than that, guys pretending to be non-participants and trying to pass by, guys asking us to choose from a mix of participants and non-participants, guys chasing after us wearing silver screens, blocking the road and making separate bets with us. There was even a guy who was spouting bullshit that he’d surrender if he won. (I smashed him in the head with the bat before he could finish speaking.)

They were so stupid that I thought maybe they didn’t understand the rules of hide-and-seek. Or, well, they were looking down on us too much.

And the second type.

Simple. The ones who literally hid themselves.

Catching them was the beginning of the real hide-and-seek.

Fortunately, almost half the players were idiots from the first category, so I was able to save quite a bit of time, but that didn’t give me peace of mind.

Like it’d been with Leo’s party in the original, it was clear that victory or defeat would depend on whether we could find the last one or two of the second type.

Bang!

I kicked the locked door and entered the hut.

A hut that was built next to the fire pits near the entrance to the Saboteur’s Lot. Cocoa said that there were as many as three hidden inside.

As soon as I entered, I saw an old, sick goblin lying on a bed.

"C-, cough! Wh-, who is it?"

This old goblin?

Of course he was a participant.

"What about the rest?"

"No, what… I’m the only one here… No, who are you?"

Naturally, I wasn’t asking the old goblin.

"Uh… it’s weird. There’re definitely two others in this room. But… I can only see one."

It was clear that the second hidden goblin was using some kind of trick, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

And in this case, there was nothing else to do.

Eliminate the ones you see first.

"Hey, no, wait. Come to think of it, I heard that there were some human guests outside… so it’s you…"

"You talk a lot."

Then I slapped the head of the sick goblin with my bat.

"There you go!"

Maybe, the others would appear on their own?

Soon after,

"Hey, ugh, this bastard doesn’t even know how to respect the elderly… even a baby born yesterday would know better…"

The old goblin hardened, leaving only some meaningless rubbish words behind.

I turned to Cocoa.

"Can’t you see them yet?"

"Yeah, that’s…"

"It’s strange, there’s nothing here. A table, a bed, and a wardrobe, and nothing else."

That was then.

"Wait a minute."

Suddenly, ‘something’ flashed through my mind.

Can a goblin only transform into a living creature? Or, can they even turn into inanimate objects?

I couldn’t be sure because I’d never seen it in the original. But there was no setting forbidding it that I knew of.

"Come to think of it, the bed was swaying a bit too much, wasn’t it? Even though I just softly tapped this guy?"

I tried to taunt, but –

…

There was no reaction to speak of.

Was that not it?

Then Cocoa said something.

"Just hit it all."

"Hm? Should we just test out everything in this room?"

"Yeah."

I see. It’s not too much work, either.

Then while I was about to hit the bed with my bat –

Suddenly,

"Wait a minute!"

The bed started talking.

"You lunatic, why would you suspect a bed?! Huh? Who’d suddenly suspect the bed! Do you think that makes sense?"

"Oh, yeah?"

Surprisingly, goblins seemed capable of turning into inanimate objects.

"Give me one more chance."

"Eh?"

"I’ve been here staying still this for two and a half hours. Please… it’ll be too embarrassing if it ends this way."

The kid’s tone of voice was brimming with earnestness.

But, well, shouldn’t you take responsibility for your own choices?

"Uh, sorry. Nighty night."

I slapped him without hearing any more.

"D-, damn it!"

His last cry was hoarse and full of unwillingness.

I turned to Cocoa.

"But there’s one more guy here, right? Furniture again?"

Cocoa silently shook her head and pointed her finger down.

"Underground? Is there a basement somewhere?"

"I don’t know. Just, he’s down there."

I gave the floor a once-over, but there was no trace of something like a basement. It was just on land.

"Should I start digging?"

"I think so."

"Uh huh… so much busywork."

I remembered the earth dragon technique being Chinuavi’s favourite, and this should be a similar method.

"Deep?"

"Deep. Very deep."

"Haah…"

What else could I do?

I started digging.

With the determination of hitting this guy with my fist instead of the bat when I met him.

After digging that guy up, grabbing another stuck in a cave under a cliff, and smashing a third who’d been lying at the top of a mountain until he hardened into stone, the sun was already nearing the edge of the horizon dotted by the mountains.

About an hour, to an hour and a half at the most, still remained.

Slowly, impatience was beginning to creep in.

"How many left?"

"Now… just ten more!"

Fortunately, only so few remained that I could count them with my fingers.

But now came the problem.

I hadn’t even gotten started on the ‘real experts’ until now.

"Over there!"

I hurriedly ran in the direction Cocoa was pointing.

Then,

"Here?"

"Yup."

We arrived at a private house.

It looked ordinary. Except for a huge chain tied to the front door, and a padlock engraved with a strange pattern.

‘Real expert’ here meant one thing. Those who hid in places which could never be entered without a decipherer.

Those guys who’d turned into Cocoa at the start, or the guys who’d tried to confuse us by mixing with the non-players, weren’t much of a problem.

Chinuavi was needed to catch these ‘real experts’.

What to do now?

I gently pulled the chain. didn’t even budge.

However thick a chain might be, it couldn’t withstand my strength. In other words, a special obstacle had been set up.

"Cocoa, is there any other way to get in except through this door?"

"No. Can’t see any."

"… Really?"

I had to think quickly.

But after a few minutes, nothing came to mind.

Finally, I let out a long sigh.

‘Is there no other way?’

There was only one option left. It was an awful brute-force method, though.

Making a separate bet with the guy hiding inside. That if I won, he’d surrender.

This was actually the method Siana had successfully executed the original.

Of course, for her, there’d been only one such case.

‘There’re still ten people left…’

Even though it looked tough, I didn’t have a choice. No smart tactic was coming to mind.

So, when I was about to call out to the guy inside –

"Watch, I’ll do it."

Cocoa spoke up.

"Hm?"

"I’ll open it."

"… What?"

I was stunned.

"What do you…?"

Then, suddenly,

"Don’t you know?"

"… What?"

She started on a weird tangent.

"Didn’t I ever tell you? That the guy called Khan gave me a lot of money while I was in the Skull Empire?"

"Huh? Money?"

"Yeah, gold, and lots of jewels."

"No, what’s this all of a sudden?"

"Yeah. I have it all in my pocket."

Then she walked in front of the door.

And she opened the leather pouch she wore on her waist.

"Key, come out."

She muttered something absurd.

But surprisingly,

Rustle–.

A key actually came out.

Cocoa put it into the padlock and turned it.

Then,

Click–.

The lock opened.

And so did my mouth. It opened wide.

"No, wait, what?"

"I told you, didn’t you know?"

At that moment, a ‘distant memory’ came to mind like a thunderbolt.

This kid had once taken out a bazooka out of nowhere, back at Neo Archive.

Only then did I realize. That was how. She… got what she needed.

By merely spending the gold in her pocket in return.

To be honest, I couldn’t even imagine how something like this could be possible. Whether the key was newly created, copied, or moved… there was no way to know exactly what the limits of her ability were.

All I could do, was just –

"Cocoa, Cocoa! This kid!"

All I could do was shout the name of the kid who’d been hiding such an amazing ability.

"You idiot, that’s wrong. Who am I?"

"Uh… huh?"

"Say my name. Who am I?"

"… Ah!"

I was surprised once more.

This kid didn’t say anything without thinking. This was not just some simple concept she’d idly came up with. She really had the confidence to do a decent job at it.

So I shouted out the name of the new decipherer who’d suddenly appeared in our adventurer team.

"Cocoavi, I choose you!!"

Editor’s Notes:

[1] 꼭꼭 숨어라, 머리카락 보일라 (lit. hide tightly, don’t let me see your hair) is what Korean children say when counting down for hide-and-seek. Unlike in English, where you’d just count down and say “ready or not, here I come” at the end.