Rogue of Taurus

After work on Monday, Livia went down into the forum again. She walked into the dusty and surprisingly tiny archive office. A few people were sitting at desks reading, but no one stood at the counter.

Livia walked up, trying to find a way to notify someone that she needed help. An old man sat on a chair between the rows of floor-to-ceiling file cabinets. He acknowledged her with a nod and pulled himself to his feet. Livia waited as he shuffled toward her. When he reached the counter, she asked to request old match contracts. “Alright,” the docent said. “You know the request limit is two per year unless you have special permission. Betrothal and marriage contracts are also off limits unless you have special permission or can prove familial relation to a deceased person.”

“Alright, um, I’d like to request the first match contract of Corvin Tullius. And…of Justin and Flavia Aurelius.”

“Justin and Aurelia didn’t have a match contract,” the docent said.

“Okay, um,” Livia’s parents hadn’t either. “Just that one, then.”

The docent told Livia she could stay and wait or come back later.

“How long will it take?” Livia asked.

“Twenty minutes.”

Livia decided to wait. Livia left armed with copies of contract records and went home to read them. She was surprised to find herself reading the match contract between Corvin and Cassia, his former fiancee, who had been murdered.

The illegitimacy clause in Corvin’s contract horrified Livia. No abortion, zero exceptions. Full custody to Corvin. Any children took Lupus House, despite Cassia being Rattus House. The only thing halfway redeeming about the entire thing was that Corvin agreed to pay all medical costs for both mother and child during infancy.

Livia would never sign something like this. She wasn’t militantly pro-choice like some people. No one liked abortion. At least, no one should. That didn’t mean they weren’t sometimes necessary. And dating Corvin wouldn’t ever give him the right to make decisions for her body. Marrying him wouldn’t give him that right either, as far as she was concerned. She was going to be clear about that from the very start. No compromises. Ever. Not when it came to making decisions about her own health and safety.

When Livia came out of her room, she ran into Caecilia, who could tell she was upset.

“What happened, Liv?” she asked.

“Just…reading…papers—”

“About what? You look furious.”

“Corvin’s old match contract—”

Caecilia’s eyes widened. “What? What for?”

“I’d never read one before, and I’m preparing one….”

“Who did they pull up?”

“Cassia.”

Caecilia’s expression went flat. “She was a different person than you. So don’t read that much into it.”

Livia shook her head at Caecilia. “But the contract… it’s awful.”

Caecilia sighed. “You shouldn’t judge him for it. Instead, tell him it will be different this time. It isn’t like you’re forced to sign the same contract. You do get to choose what you agree to.”

Caecilia’s level-headed advice soothed some of Livia’s panic. Her sister-in-law was right. Livia was a different person, and she could request a separate arrangement. She wondered about Cassia, though. What type of person would agree to such a one-sided contract? Did she naively believe that nothing would go wrong? In either her body or her relationships? Livia envied people with that much blind trust. Life was easier when you weren’t always afraid of things going catastrophically wrong all the time. But Livia knew better. Life could be ruthless and cruel, and you had to protect yourself.

After eating a snack, Livia went back upstairs and got on Tabula. She wandered aimlessly through archives of feeds, searching for something. Context maybe? Eventually, she came across the Owl Band page. The last update had been the 2nd anniversary of Cassia’s death. A band mate had posted a video of Corvin and Cassia singing a duet together.

Livia hesitated and then pressed the play button. The first thing she recognized was that Cassia had jaw-dropping talent. Corvin had a soothing and reliable voice, but Cassia outclassed him easily. She had a powerful voice and the persona that went with it. She oozed confidence and grace with every move.

By the third verse of their power ballad, Cassia had entwined herself around Corvin. She exuded a fearless sensuality as the chemistry between them grew electric. After the final note, Corvin dipped Cassia and pulled her into a kiss that went on and on and on.

Livia stopped the video and pressed her face into her hands. Her throat felt tight, and she had to remind herself to breathe. She was the opposite of this superstar of a woman Corvin had loved. First, Livia had never been graceful. Second, she’d never been that confident. The best she could describe herself as was competent. Third, she’d never been comfortable enough with touch in general to approach that level of sensuality. It made her both seethingly jealous and so insecure that it was physically painful.

She shut the lid of her laptop and curled up on the covers of her bed. She trembled as every bad thought she’d ever thought about herself seemed to press in on her all at once. She was broken, not good enough, unlovable, and worthless. Her tears seeped out slowly at first until they snowballed into sobs. How could what she offered Corvin ever be enough to make up for what he’d lost? Suddenly, everything Salina said made terrible sense.