Please Don’t Die, My Lady

Chapter 46

“Let’s die together.”

As I closed my eyes and kept repeating my prayers, Ariana’s single statement reached my ears.

Startled, I raised my head in shock.

What are you saying?

That’s not what I wished for.

How did my wish for her to outlive me turn into this kind of misunderstanding?

As my eyes adjusted to the light, two figures came into view.

The professor, clad entirely in white chitin, had transformed his hand into a sharp blade and was striking it down toward Ariana’s neck.

Ariana simply stared at him, unmoving.

I let out a small scream and stretched my hand toward her back, but before I could reach, the professor’s movement stopped abruptly.

Blood began to flow from every opening in his body.

The chitin cracked and fell, and his body shrank and hardened like stone from the fingertips.

It was as if all the blood in his body was being drained, turning him into a mummy.

He let out a hollow laugh and spat out a single word, dripping with contempt.

“Crazy woman.”

“…I can’t deny that.”

He opened his mouth again, as if to hurl more insults, but his face dried up before he could speak.

Even someone like me, ignorant of magic, could tell that he wouldn’t be able to utter another word.

Eventually, he stumbled a couple of times before collapsing backward.

His dried-up body shattered upon impact, scattering into dust.

He was probably dead.

“When I first learned it, I thought it was such a useless skill… but I guess you end up using everything once.”

Ariana let out a deep sigh, blinking quickly as she scanned her surroundings.

Then, her eyes met mine.

Her face brightened with relief, the expression clearly visible.

I’d never seen Ariana so openly expressive before.

For some reason, it felt unsettling. It made me anxious.

It was like looking at someone who had let go of everything, no longer needing to hide their emotions.

Ariana staggered and leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor.

Her complexion was pale.

“Are you all right?”

She hugged her knees and stared blankly into the air before asking me a question.

I nodded, having done nothing and suffered nothing.

But I felt like she was the one who should be asked that question, not me.

“The health teacher will be here soon.

They’ll take care of everything, so listen to them.”

“…What about you?”

“Sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.”

Ariana spoke calmly, and for a moment, the image of the mummified professor overlapped with her face.

There were no visible wounds, but somehow, I knew.

“You’re dying.”

“Yes.”

Her voice, admitting her death, was composed, as if it was nothing extraordinary.

What pushed you to this point?

I already knew.

It was me, wasn’t it?

When I realized that my prayer had been answered in the exact opposite way, my thoughts strangely cleared up.

I had wished for her to outlive me, even if only by a few seconds.

But now, she was dying instead of me.

It made sense.

It would’ve been unnatural for things to work out the way I wanted them to twice in a row.

If that had happened, I would’ve feared the misfortune that would follow such luck.

With a smile close to resignation, I opened my mouth.

“How much time do you have left?”

“Probably a few minutes.”

“Then we have time for a little chat.”

I moved to sit beside her, leaning against the wall.

As I felt her gaze on me, I pondered what to say.

Since I usually avoided conversation, this situation felt unfamiliar.

Then, I thought of something not too serious, something I had always been curious about.

“Why did you like me?”

Thinking it might seem too sudden, I added:

“I don’t think there was ever that kind of atmosphere between us.”

Ariana looked reluctant to answer, wearing an awkward expression as she replied.

“Ah, um. It’s because… your appearance was my type…”

“…I see.”

“It was just the start! Only the start! Don’t get the wrong idea!”

She raised her voice in embarrassment, then began coughing violently, as if choking.

I sighed and patted her back.

I saw that her toes had started to dry up and shrivel like the professor’s earlier.

I deliberately looked away.

Liking someone for their appearance isn’t that unusual.

Why is she so flustered about it?

Even though it’s a bit of a letdown.

Ariana caught her breath and began twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

Her face was gradually turning red. She seemed embarrassed.

“After I got to know you better, I found new reasons to fall for you every time we met.

…There are too many reasons to list them all before I die.”

“If you liked me that much, why didn’t you confess?”

Knowing she didn’t have much time left, I asked her directly.

Her surprised eyes filled with regret.

“That’s true.

I kept making excuses—saying same-sex love was strange, pointing to the difference in status—and ran away from it all.

If I had known it would turn out like this, I should’ve just blurted it out back then.”

“Well, I mean…

At the time, I was busy chasing Hans around, so I get why you didn’t. But even after we met again, you didn’t say anything.”

Ariana’s face darkened as she lowered her head.

With a cracking sound, her lower body, now completely dried, began to crumble away.

“…How could I?

After what I did to you.

It was obvious how much you hated and resented me.

If I had any conscience, I couldn’t do that.”

“…You’re right. I did hate you.”

After we reunited, our relationship was far from anything resembling love.

I was the victim, and she was the perpetrator.

But there were ambiguous parts too.

Perhaps I developed Stockholm Syndrome because, at some point, I felt an inexplicable closeness to her.

I couldn’t figure out what that feeling was on my own.

I wanted to find out.

This was the last chance, after all.

If it turned out that I didn’t truly hate her, there were things I wanted to say.

“Ariana.”

“Yes.”

“Could you confess to me? Just once?”

“What?”

“Just close your eyes and do it, even if it’s only once.”

“Uh…”

Despite the sudden and strange request, Ariana surprisingly took it seriously.

Her gaze darted around nervously as her ears turned bright red, and she finally spoke.

A shy confession, mixed with her timid gestures and soft whispers.

Perhaps because it was so different from her usual demeanor, I found it a little endearing.

“…I like you.

Please accept my feelings.”

“Sorry, I’ll have to decline.”

As soon as I heard it, I understood my feelings and rejected her.

Ariana’s expression turned dumbfounded.

Awkwardly, I continued.

“I don’t think I like you after all.

Judging from how I feel now, I don’t think I could forgive you either.”

Even if I had been drawn to her suggestion to live together, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it.

The memory of her from those brief but intense first two months wouldn’t let me erase the current version of her.

Even if she apologized, that was all it would ever be. The past wouldn’t disappear.

“But it seems I didn’t completely hate you either.

It’s just that I’m not attracted to you, not that I found you repulsive.

After all, someone wouldn’t offer their body to someone they genuinely despised.”

The only reason I could use such an extreme method—giving my body to confirm my existence—was because that kiss on the first day hadn’t been as unpleasant as I expected.

It largely came down to my lack of aversion to Ariana as a person, coupled with my own sexual orientation.

She had been one of the closest people to the former princess, despite the cruel side she now showed.

Even if I felt betrayed, the starting point was different.

In the end, it was like this.

I had strictly divided the past princess and my present self.

I couldn’t overlap the kind, past Ariana with the terrifying present one.

And so, I came to both love and hate her.

It became a twisted relationship closer to a mental illness than love, but the fact that I held affection for her mattered.

What set her apart from those who had tormented me was that I had divided her into two people in my mind.

When I saw her mask as nothing more than a torturer, my perspective wasn’t entirely wrong.

I hated Ariana who hurt me, but I didn’t hate Ariana who didn’t.

That was all.

I nodded, accepting this truth.

Ariana, on the other hand, was still trembling.

With every shiver, dust fell from her hardened fingers.

It was getting harder to ignore.

The fact that she was dying was becoming too obvious.

“Why… why would you say that?”

“I wanted to say thank you for saving me.

I wouldn’t want to thank someone I disliked, after all.”

What I wanted to convey was gratitude.

No matter whose fault it was, she had tried to protect me, and my poor judgment had cost her her life.

If I didn’t hate her, then it was only right to thank her.

Hearing my words, Ariana’s face twisted in pain.

“No. I don’t deserve thanks.

All of this happened because of me….”

“Don’t worry. I have no intention of forgiving you.

You’ll always be an enemy I can’t even call a rival, and I’ll think of you whenever I have nightmares.”

I turned my head to meet her gaze.

When I continued, I couldn’t help but put force into my voice.

“I’m only thanking you for the price of your life.

As for the rest, suffer as much as you can before you die.”

Ariana’s eyes widened.

The words she seemed about to say were swallowed back as her slightly open mouth closed again.

Her previously contorted expression softened into something more relaxed.

Though my words to a dying person were harsh, they seemed to resonate with her in a different way.

“…Thank you as well.”

“You should be thankful.”

Ariana let out a faint laugh.

Perhaps because her chest had already hardened, her voice carried a metallic undertone.

“You remind me so much of the princess from our childhood.”

“Doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

“It is a compliment.”

A brief silence followed in the now somewhat calmer atmosphere.

She spoke again only after her lips had hardened, leaving her words thin and breathy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

“Will you forgive me?”

“No.”

“I see.”

Ariana smiled.

“It’s painful.”

Her face, however, didn’t reflect the sentiment.

Perhaps because it was so painful, she had found peace in the end.

Ariana slowly closed her eyes.

Once her lips were sealed, it didn’t take long for her entire body, down to her hair, to dry up and crumble away.

Within five minutes, she had disintegrated entirely, leaving behind no trace of her living form.

Only then could I accept that she was truly gone.