Only Realized After Losing You

12. Miss Ellie’s Hands Are So Pretty, I Couldn’t Stop

The answer came from somewhere else.

“… I came to visit for a moment.”

Hayden, who had been hiding, made his presence known.

He walked forward little by little with graceful steps.

Then his entire figure, which had been shrouded in the darkness, became visible.

He stood in front of the closet and looked at my father.

A low smile crossed his face as he recognized Hayden.

However, the smile lasted only for a moment.

My father looked embarrassed and called his name.

“Ah! Hey, Mister Hayden.”

Why did he pretend to be embarrassed?

I couldn’t quite fathom his intentions, but I was sure of one thing.

Father was pleased with Hayden’s secret visit. It was obvious.

“I came here urgently because I had something I wanted to confide in Miss Ellie. Next time, I will contact you first and come visit you.”

Though Hayden spoke to me in a thoughtful and respectful way, he was acting quite coldly towards my father.

“Yes, I would appreciate it if you did, hehe.”

“Then will you please leave? I’m not finished talking with Miss Ellie yet.”

“By the way, Mister Hayden.”

“Do you have anything left to say?”

“Yes… it’s very important.”

Hayden jerked his chin as if to say, ‘go ahead’.

“It’s a pity, but my child doesn’t entertain at night. Please keep this in mind. A virgin bride is worth a fortune”

“… … .”

I felt like throwing up.

I feel like I am going to get nauseous.

It wasn’t just a feeling; vomit was actually starting to rise to the back of my throat.

I ran out of the room, covering my mouth.

I heard someone following behind me.

I opened the closed bathroom door and leaned my face over the sink.

Just as vomit forced its way out from between my lips.

“… Have you lived like this your whole life?”

It was Hayden who followed me.

That was only natural. There was no way my father would follow me.

I nodded slowly.

“Is that why you don’t fear death, because you thought it would be better than this reality?”

I was silent.

The vomit no longer came out.

“If Lennon Hills is… with you for the same reason I am, please continue to see him, and let me in on his secrets.”

“… … .”

“Will you do that? If you will, I will give you everything: money, power… Anything I can give you.”

Unable to answer, I fell silent again.

“With money, you could at least get out of this house, out of the arms of your scum of a father.”

Can I use Lennon’s secret to get what I want?

“Of course, I’m not forcing you to do that right away. I’ll give you time to think. But I can’t give you long.”

“… … .”

“Unlike Lennon Hills, I never mince words. Please believe me.”

I covered the corners of my mouth and stared into his face.

His silver eyes that met mine had a determined glow.

A serious look that told me he wasn’t lying.

They were more trustworthy than his words.

* * *

I had a dream that night.

In my dream, I was running away somewhere.

I was leaving this place, where there was no light.

There was no hesitation in my leap toward freedom.

In my dream, I was happier than ever.

I thought about it.

If I disappear, who will be the first to find me?

No, who will be the most frustrated?

Who will feel the most frustrated that I didn’t tell my story?

* * *

I put down the shovel I was holding and looked up at the sky for a moment.

The fact that it had rained yesterday didn’t matter. Today’s sky was perfectly clear.

There wasn’t a single cloud in sight.

No matter what happened, the next day would always come. Even if I were to die today, tomorrow would still come.

I lowered my gaze and gripped the shovel once more.

Then, I started tidying up the flower garden that had become a mess due to my sister.

As I was digging dirt with the small shovel, the image of my sister from yesterday kept coming to mind.

If I did what Hayden told me to do, would my sister who was sold come back?

My head was spinning.

It was the first time in my life that I had experienced something this complicated.

I’d barely finished picking through the dirt when I heard a sound like a firecracker come from behind me.

I stayed in my crouching position and turned my head back.

Then the cause of the sound appeared.

It wasn’t my father, who had gone to the barony early in the morning, or my drunk mother.

It was a man wearing appropriate clothes that were neither too luxurious nor too shabby.

I had to look up for a long time to see his face.

The man was very tall.

I squinted at the face I was now looking at.

The sunlight above his head stung.

His face, vaguely visible through the bright sunlight, was unfamiliar.

He and I were strangers.

“Are you Miss Ellie?”

The man’s voice was low and thick. And he knew my name.

I nodded briefly.

“Oh… I’m sorry. I’m so tall, it’s hard to look up, isn’t it?”

He gave me a friendly smile and lowered his stance.

Only then was I able to look at the man’s face properly.

His brown hair, which curled a bit at the ends, was quite disheveled from not having been combed well, and his piercing golden eyes were fixed on me.

He had a wide smile on his face.

His softly slanted eyes and upturned red lips were very pleasing to look at.

I thought it was a sweet face that made one lose one’s wariness toward strangers.

Although his face was quite cute, his body seemed far from cute.

He had broad shoulders and a sturdy-looking body.

It reminded me of a knight, for example.

“Nice to meet you. My name is Lebrado.”

He extended his hand to me.

I looked down at his hand, which seemed to be asking for a handshake.

They were big hands, evenly tanned by the sun.

I roughly rubbed my dirt-covered hands on the hem of my clothes and then took his hand.

For some reason, I felt like I had to do that.

After that, there was a thick silence.

The man who introduced himself as Lebrado said nothing.

He didn’t give any answers as to why he suddenly came to see me or how he knew my name.

He just looked somewhere aimlessly while holding my hand tightly.

The place where his golden eyes, resembling the summer sun, were directed to was my hand.

It was at that moment that Lebrado took action.

He suddenly lifted my hand that he was holding.

After being lifted without much resistance, my hand found itself near his lips.

“… … !”

A red tongue poked out from between his lips, which were curled into a faint smile.

Without hesitation, he began to lick the back of my hand.

His tongue licking the back of my hand was frighteningly soft.

Maybe because it was so soft…

I was embarrassed, but it didn’t occur to me that I should pull my hand away..

I looked down at his face, which was tilted to lick my hand.

Well-groomed brown eyebrows, cheeks that seemed redder than before.

Fairly long eyelashes were gently swaying in the gentle breeze.

It’s stimulating.

When I felt an inexplicably strange feeling, I belatedly took my hand back.

Lebrado obediently let go of my hand, lifted his downward gaze, and looked intently into my eyes.

His golden eyes, unfocused, had a languid glow.

He looked like he was mesmerized by something very tempting.

After a few more seconds, Lebrado seemed to come to his senses.

“S-sorry. Miss Ellie’s hands are so pretty, I couldn’t stop…”

He knelt down and bowed his head to the floor several times.

It was an excessive apology and an excessive reaction.

Although what he had done was really weird.

“… I came to see you because of your actions a little while ago.”

“… … .”

“Because I’ve heard that Miss Ellie… has a knack for listening to other people’s secrets.”

I realized then.

I had never seen this man before. He had come to me to tell me his secrets.

The third man who came to visit me was Lebrado.

Was there any connection between licking the back of my hand and his secret?

Just like when I first met other men, I was curious about the story he would share.

I decided to let the big man, or rather, Lebrado, into the house first.

The outer wall was not very high.

It was obvious that if such a large man was in the flower garden, he would be noticed by anyone passing by.

I didn’t want strange rumors to spread about me.

At that moment, what came to mind was what my father said last night.

‘Mister Hayden, it’s a pity, but my child doesn’t entertain at night. Please keep this in mind. A virgin bride is worth a fortune’

I felt sick to my stomach again, even though I hadn’t eaten.

As soon as my father’s words came to mind, I even thought that it might be better to let strange rumors spread.

I covered my mouth and slowly blinked my eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Lebrado asked worriedly, still on his knees.

I nodded.

I couldn’t tell the man I’d just met today why I felt nauseous.

Instead of telling my story, I pointed toward the front door with my fingertip.

I gestured for him to come inside.