Only Realized After Losing You

11. The Bed is Damp.

Despite these revelations, I didn’t freak out.

After all, there was nothing more surprising than a strange man breaking into my room.

Also, I already had a vague suspicion that the two men might be brothers.

Lennon’s stepmother even had a face that resembled Hayden’s.

Hayden scrutinized my unsurprised face.

“As expected, you thought so too. Did you have a hunch when we ran into each other at the house?”

I nodded my head slowly.

But no matter what the circumstances were, my conclusions were all speculations.

“Yes, you’re right. I am Lennon Hills’ younger brother.”

“… … .”

“The older brother I told Miss Ellie I wanted to surpass is Lennon Hills.”

Hayden’s voice was harsh as he uttered the name ‘Lennon Hills’.

It was not a tone referring to a family member or a close friend.

“I felt uneasy that you, who knew my secret, were interacting with my brother. So…”

He trailed off.

But I thought I knew what he wanted to say.

‘I was afraid that my secret would leak to my brother. That’s why I wanted to kill you.’

He probably wanted to say something like that.

Soon Hayden’s gaze, which had been looking at my face, fell downward.

His long, lowered eyelashes were trembling slightly.

It wasn’t just his eyelashes that were shaking, his hand holding the dagger was also shaking.

He was clearly hesitating.

‘If the secret is leaked, you will die. Assuming, of course, that I can prove that you were the source of my secret getting leaked’

The other day, Hayden had said he would kill me in the past without emotion.

So I’d assumed he was someone who would take killing people lightly.

But now he was hesitating to kill me.

What was the reason for his hesitation?

Hayden was at a loss for words.

He just lazily swept his fingertips over the handle of the dagger he was holding.

I stared at his face deep in anguish.

Small water droplets were dripping from the ends of Hayden’s blond hair, which had gotten soaked despite the deep hood.

‘I want to wipe it off’, I thought suddenly.

Before I realized it, I had the hem of my sleeve over Hayden’s wet hair.

Since my sleeves were long, I thought it wouldn’t matter if I wiped his wet hair.

“… … !”

Hayden flinched, surprised by my sudden action.

Startled, he raised his relaxed gaze and looked directly into my eyes.

There were deep ripples in his beautiful silver eyes.

Hayden… He seemed perplexed.

I thought that maybe it was a natural reaction.

It was a bit absurd to worry about the wet hair of a man who had come to kill you.

But I didn’t resent him for coming to threaten me.

It was a strange thing.

“… … .”

Hayden didn’t seem to have an intention of slapping my sleeve away from his hair.

He just stiffened his shoulders a little and leaned into my touch.

At that moment he seemed like a small animal.

A young creature that still needed its mother’s love.

It was then that someone else visited my room.

Bang bang.

There was only one person who would feel comfortable knocking on my door at this hour.

… Father.

“Ellie. It’s Father. Today, I will confess to you and then sleep.”

My father sold my sister somewhere today.

It seemed like he was trying to tell me the ugly things he had done.

Does he also know that what he did was ugly?

Did he sell my sister even though he knew it was a terrible thing to do?

However, even though I knew everything, I could not save my sister who was screaming.

I felt as if a huge weight had been placed on my chest.

It was a burden on my heart that no one else could lift.

I was the only one who could pull it down.

After a moment’s thought, I heard my father’s voice again.

“Ellie! Are you asleep?”

I could hear the determination in his voice that he wanted to confess today.

Listening to confessions was something I had always been accustomed to doing, but now it was very difficult.

I looked back and forth between Hayden’s face and the door.

What should I do?

Hayden stirred at my touch, but quickly regained his cool demeanor.

His silver eyes were calm as he looked at me.

He didn’t say what he was going to do.

He just got up from where he was sitting and hid himself between the closet and the wall.

In a room without a single light on, his figure became completely invisible.

Bang bang.

A second knock rang again,

“I’m going inside.”

My father, tired of waiting, came into the room.

If he had been a little late, Hayden’s visit would have been discovered by my father.

I pursed my lips unnecessarily.

What would have happened if my father had discovered Hayden’s presence?

As soon as my father came in, I could smell the strong smell of alcohol.

My father drank so much that as he approached me he continued to stumble.

He walked up to the bed and sat down on the corner of it.

It was right next to where Hayden had been sitting a moment ago.

I subtly lowered my gaze to where Hayden had been sitting.

The disheveled sheets were slightly wet.

“Hey Ellie, you haven’t fallen asleep yet.”

I nodded briefly.

“Did you expect me to come visit you tonight? What a wonderful kid. After all, you are different from the other children.”

My father let out an unpleasant laugh.

But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t show that I was offended, or that I was pleased with the compliment.

Because I knew it would be better that way.

Then my father began to confess with half-closed eyes.

“Today I… Hehehe. I sent my child to be with another man.”

“… … .”

“That child was a scared child, and she had a lot of scars from men”

My sister became afraid of men a long time ago, after she was sexually assaulted by a man she had never met before.

Her circumstances were known to the entire family.

She would break out in a cold sweat and stutter when she was around men.

Despite knowing her condition, my father gave her away to a man under the guise of marriage.

How much did my father receive in return for selling my sister?

“But the new man will heal that wound. Everything I’ve done is for Isabelle’s sake.”

But my sister didn’t want to go there.

What my father did was for him.

It wasn’t for me or my sister.

He had to know exactly that.

I lowered my head slightly to avoid my father’s gaze on me.

The greed in his eyes was too much to bear.

I took a deep breath.

I didn’t want to smell his foul odor of alcohol anymore.

What came to mind desperately at that moment was Lennon’s nice scent.

A scent that somehow made me feel at ease just by smelling it.

If I could smell his scent now, would the horror I felt disappear?

“Ellie.”

My father called my name in an overbearing tone.

He didn’t just call me, he extended his hand towards me.

His rough fingertips grabbed my chin roughly.

“Don’t avoid eye contact. Listen to me straight. Isn’t that your role?”

He forced my downcast face up, forcing me to make eye contact with him.

He had a sickening smile on his face.

“Isabelle will be happy. And the rest of our family will also be happy.”

No one will be happy.

I can assure you.

“…Phew, I think I can finally stretch out and sleep.”

My father half-raised himself from his seat and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

I felt like bugs were crawling on my forehead at the place where my father’s hot lips touched.

I wanted to wash my forehead to the point it bled.

But I couldn’t.

“Good night, then, Ellie. My daughter.”

He waved goodnight like any good father would, and then turned away.

I got goosebumps from his final greeting.

I never thought he was disgusting… but I felt disgusted today by the way he brutally sold my sister.

It made me wonder why I had been playing the ‘don’t answer game’ all this time.

This was the first time I questioned him, the first ever resistance.

The game started because I wanted to receive praise from my father.

I no longer wanted my father’s praise and love.

This was my breaking point.

Those words were stuck in my head.

Just then, my father, who had been staggering towards the door, suddenly stopped.

“… By the way, Ellie.”

He called my name softly and came closer to me again.

Eventually, he stopped at the side of the bed and glanced down at the spot where Hayden had been sitting.

“The bed is damp.”

“… … !”

I felt my heart drop with a thud.

He leaned over and began to press his fingertips against the wet sheets.

Then he asked a question.

“Who was here?”