One Piece: My Name is Jack, I'm Very Resistant to Beating

As Jack sprinted toward Onigashima, he was surprised to find how much had changed in just over a year.

New buildings had sprung up everywhere, with many still under construction. The island buzzed with activity—shirtless slaves worked tirelessly, hauling materials, while even pirates had been roped into dragging carts like human pack animals.

There was no need to ask, this had to be Kaido's handiwork. Only he could so efficiently exploit every advantage of his underlings. King must've picked up this habit from him.

Still, Jack prayed as he ran. Please let him be in Wano and not here on the island.

He sprinted through winter, autumn, and summer, finally arriving in spring, where he froze in place, utterly confused.

Why is it so tall?

What is this building?

And that door—what even is that door?!

"I was only gone for a little over a year, and you've completely torn the place apart?" Jack muttered to himself.

This speed… Is the construction even safe?

"Jack-sama! You're back!"

"Huh?"

A familiar voice pulled him from his daze. He turned to see a tall woman towering over him, holding a tray.

"Leopard-print Auntie… Oh, ahem, it's you!" Jack stammered, catching himself. "Do you know where Yamato is?"

The leopard-print woman—easily a head taller than Jack—nodded politely.

"Please follow me, Jack-sama."

Geez, Kaido has skills. I never noticed before, but this Leopard-print Auntie must be at least seven meters tall.

I don't need Yamato to be that tall, but four meters would be perfect. Even three and a half meters would do. Any shorter, though, and the size difference might actually be dangerous…

But as they walked, Jack grew suspicious.

Wait, isn't this the path to the courtesan quarters? What the hell?

Why would Yamato be anywhere near this place?

Sensing his confusion, Leopard-print Auntie suddenly stopped, causing Jack to stumble straight into her chest.

"Ah, forgive me," she said, a faint smile on her lips. "Jack-sama, Lady Black Maria has taken full control of the courtesan district. Lady Yamato moved there recently as well."

"What?!" Jack's eyes widened.

"But don't worry," the woman continued. "Their living quarters are in the back, far away from anything inappropriate."

You've got to be kidding me! I leave for a year, and Maria's now running the red-light district? My Maria—my sweet, innocent Maria! Kaido let her take over this kind of place?!

'Far away from anything inappropriate'? Yeah, sure. Like they won't hear everything. And you let your own daughter live near this? How is your heart not breaking?

"No way. I'm calling dibs on running the courtesan district! Forget about ruling Kuri—I'm switching jobs!"

"Jack-sama, we've arrived," Leopard-print Auntie said, smiling. "Lady Yamato is resting inside." With that, she left, tray in hand.

Jack stared at the massive door before him, wide-eyed.

This… This is so big I could walk in here transformed as a mammoth.

Don't tell me… Yamato's grown that much?!

He pushed the door open, ready for anything.

"Yamato! What happened to you?!"

Inside lay a massive pink creature sprawled across the room. Its rotund belly rose and fell in rhythm with thunderous snores. Long, curved horns jutted from its head, and sharp teeth peeked out from its half-open mouth.

Jack's jaw dropped.

What the hell?! Yamato's like this now? Forget about the eight-foot-tall fantasy—I can't even process this species change!

Memories of his promise to marry Yamato flashed through his mind. If she held him to it now...

Nope. Nope. NOPE.

"Kaido, what did you do?! If I'd known this would happen, I'd have volunteered to stay single for life!"

"Yamato!" Jack wailed. "Is this some kind of Oni curse?!"

"...Who's making all that noise?!"

The creature stirred, groaning groggily as it sat up. Its familiar voice, rough and slightly androgynous, made Jack's heart twist.

"Jack? Oh, you're back! Did you bring me souvenirs? Snacks? Toys?"

Jack blinked, staring down at Yamato, now barely reaching his waist.

Wait, what?! She hasn't grown at all?! Relief washed over him, mixed with the tiniest sliver of disappointment.

"Oh, that big guy?" Yamato glanced at the pink creature Jack had been staring at. "That's Jaki, a Number. He's harmless—and super fun to play with!"

Jack forced a smile, barely masking his inner turmoil.

"Great. Fantastic. Hey, Yamato, I left a ton of gifts for you at the port. Jewelry, ivory trinkets, even ivory chopsticks. Go check it out."

"Really?! Thanks, Jack! I'll go right now!"

As soon as Yamato bolted for the port, Jack turned back to the snoring pink monstrosity.

With a deep breath, he closed the door, hefted his spiked club, and leapt onto its stomach.

"BANG!"

"ARRGH!"

"You scared the crap out of me, you oversized lump!"

"BANG!"

"That's for messing with my feelings!"

"BANG!"

"And that's for nearly giving me a heart attack!"

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+140 chapters on p@treon/tambeerg