Loosing you

And I always told them how bad I was at it but I didn't have a choice. I said it as a joke but deep down I knew that if I messed up, I would really face the consequences. The last hour of the event finally arrived and the music started, I was very scared. I was doing something I've never done in my entire existence before, I started singing, and it was visible that I kept missing the dance steps but as I was halfway through the song my mind just went blank, I forgot the lyrics, I forgot the dance . I was just standing there not knowing what to do. The only thing I could do was to run so I did and went backstage where I broke down in tears. The only person I wanted was uncle but he wasn't there. I felt someone embracing me from behind as I continued crying my whole eyes out, I was kneeling at a dark corner and I stayed there for a few minutes and as I rose my head, the person that was behind me was Angel. I didn't even know she would be there, she just kept coming out of nowhere. I got up and told her to take me home, I didn't even close the show, I just ran off. She took me to my car, and drove this time.

We were both very quiet but as we were getting closer to apartment she asked me if I was alright which was obvious that I wasn't. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it so she played music and we both kept quiet till we arrived at my place. Well she already had my spare keys so she was the first person to get out of the car,she went to unlock the door and as for me, I stayed in the car for a few minutes and then I got out and went straight to my room where I went straight to the shower, I was very disappointed at myself and I made a fool out of me. I know I sometimes forgot my lines on set but nobody but the crew saw it, now I had ten thousand people see me like that. I went to take a cold shower with my clothes still on, I just didn't care, I wanted to disappear. I stayed in the shower for a very long time that I had someone worried. She properly thought I was trying to drown myself since she came yelling my name, I didn't hear her at first but after hearing her yelling my name I got out and there she was, I wasn't in my right mind trust me, because what I did next was something I never saw myself doing, I ran in to her hands , embraced her and broke down, again.

I was not okay so ain't no way you will be blaming me. I just wanted to feel someone's warmth and she was the only person I was with at the moment. I believe uncle was still at the event along with the rest of the staff apologizing and trying to explain why I acted the way I did. Angel and I stayed in an embrace for like ten minutes and by the time I let go off her, she was already dripping wet so I apologised and asked her to use my shower and I would borrow her some clothes. I also had some huge clothes that I thought would fit her so yah, as for me I went to chance the clothes I was wearing and I waited for her on my bed. I didn't even want to open my phone,I didn't want to be horrified by people mocking me . After a while she came wearing only a towel so I gave her the clothes and turned around so that she could change. After that I asked if she could stay with me till I fell asleep. I wasn't okay at all, not to forget the headache I was having due to crying for a long time. She didn't refuse I don't know why, maybe she was just feeling sorry for me or something. So we both got in bed and before I knew it, I fell asleep. But by the time I woke up I was all alone. So I went to freshen up and as I went to the kitchen I found Angel along with uncle having breakfast, uncle seemed like he had to go somewhere so I asked him where he was going and he told me that father wanted to talk to him regarding me but I wasn't allowed to come so he left me alone with Angel. And also, I was fine now and I still couldn't believe what I did yesterday. I went to make tea and sat down .

At that moment

Ashly- I'm very sorry,

Angel- You might want to be specific,

Ashely- What do you mean?

Angel- For which event, was it the one you insulted me countless times or the one you nearly made me catch a cold,

Ashly- Can we not do this right now, I mean I'm trying to apologize but if you do that we would just end up fighting

Angel- Do you want to fight,

Ashly- Obviously not, I just want to talk to you,

Angel- Okay.... Apologize then, I don't have all day

Said Angel as she got up. Yep, I've never met anyone like this person. But I was really tired of always fighting with her so I apologized for all the events I chased her out of my car. That's just how I am, if I feel like I'm loosing an argument I chase people away so that's just it. She didn't really have a choice but to forgive me, I mean I was nearly crying. I then asked for a hug so that I could calm down and she didn't refuse. And oh boy that hug was better than the one she gave me yesterday, I don't know. Have you ever embraced someone and got like butterflies at the exact moment, if not then let me tell you, I just did. I didn't even want to let go,my heart was racing a bit faster than normal, well not just mine, hers too. We then let go of each other and I felt my cheeks flushing red and I ran to the bathroom to wash my face because this was something I've never experienced before and I was embarassed. I just hope she didn't see my cherry red cheeks. I stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes and then I went back to the kitchen where I found her eating the breakfast she had to leave in order to talk to me. Well, I didn't know what to say so I just asked her if I had any plans today and she said my schedule was clear, this means I was on a break. Oh well, of course I had to be. I sat down on a chair opposite to the one she was on and I just stared at her. I didn't have any reason for a conversation so yah, that's just how it went. I watched her have her breakfast and when she was done she did the dishes and then told me that she would be watching some shows in the living room so I followed her. She turned the TV and we watched this one series, it's a GL by the way.

Love,love and lust. I'm actually not one to watch such shows but I think she liked them so I just sat there and forced myself not to fall asleep. But I couldn't control it, I ended up sleeping and I think I did that for two whole hours. By the time I woke up I gazed at Angel again but her eyes were teary, at first I thought maybe what she was watching was emotional till I looked at the screen and the person who starred in the series was none other than Naomi. I actually didn't understand why she would watch something that would trigger her like that, if only I had the power to erase that one dark spot they caused in her heart. I didn't want her to know that I knew about her and Naomi because it was actually none of my business, so I got up and told her that I wanted to go to the mall to buy some groceries, uncle always did that for me but since I wasn't busy at all I wanted to do it by myself. So I asked her come and help me get ready, by that I actually just meant she had to help me pick out clothes that would make me unnoticeable,I hated taking pictures,or having to give countless hugs to people. I noticed how much she tried to wipe the tears but some were still there, so I left before her and she followed me . After arriving in my room I took of the clothes I was wearing, I was now only left with my underpants of course. I then went to my closet to look for the clothes and she walked in at the exact moment I was just there fooling around, and dancing of course. The moment she looked at me she quickly turned away, I don't know why. I wasn't even naked.