I am Peter Parker

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***

- Grgghhhh! Ahem!

As I walked down the corridor, I tried everything I could to remove my smile, pressing my cheeks, remembering the dogs that didn't wait for their owners, and applying everything that came to my mind.

- Exactly!

Come to think of it, in my past life, at school I hardly ever smiled, why?

Too many things come to mind, but one thing that always killed my mood, causing worry and anxiety, I remember as clearly as possible, born after a stormy night of Hitler and Satan, final exams!

- Oh, it worked...

My smile faded like magic. Although if you think about it, thanks to being reborn, going through the programme for the second time, and the experience of being more or less an adult, why should exams scare me at all? God, really, how old am I already?

- Ha!...

Completely unknowingly I let out a chuckle and the worst happened.

- Fuck!

My smile fell back into place.

*****

During the school day I: had lunch with my classmates, helped the teacher with papers, listened to her stories about the negligence of my gender, and seemingly agreed to something dangerous involving her, whip and latex.

The reason?

Well, I'm a kind and helpful bloke!

- Yeah, now!

In fact, even if I said no, people would look at my smiling face and conclude that I was just joking. Like I said before, socialising is just trouble.

- Kyahyaa!

- Oh, that sounds familiar.

- Kyayaya!!!

- Oh my God, it's coming!

A tight ring of girls came out from around the corner. There were countless of them, it seems there were even students from other schools and a few teachers among them. Principal, are you among them?!

- KYAYAYA!

- My eardrums!

I wanted to run away immediately when I heard...

- KYAYA! He's so cool, walking with his headphones on, pretending not to notice anyone!

- Sneaky bastard! Making others suffer while he enjoys the silence and harmony of hard metal!

Since I'm having a bad day, why don't I break through a ring of girls and get even with a pretty boy?!

- Hyah!

My legs started trembling as soon as I ran up to the first front line. But... What's a life worth if it can't be given for a good cause?

- Kyayaya!!!

Once inside, I realised what fear was. They were everywhere, behind, in front and on the sides. It seems my consciousness was starting to leave me, or was it just my sanity? No great price to pay, then.

- BLEEP!

At some point, blood seemed to start running down my neck. I was glad to the point of insanity that I was losing my hearing. The only thing that scared me was the thought of whether the echoes of today would be what I would hear for the rest of my life...?

- BLEEP!!!!

And then finally, in front of me are wide open blue eyes full of incomprehension. I finally got to that bloody blonde beauty. This may be the last thing I ever do in my life, but I'm gonna rip your headphones off!

Just one move.

And his eyes filled with tears and a mute question on his lips-"Why?"

I leaned on my best friend's shoulders, barely able to keep from passing out. Anticipating a new meeting with the Allocator of Worlds, and a new allocation, I looked him straight in the eyes...

- Because of... That we all have to take responsibility for the misfortunes we create and share in their consequences...? - he said, reading it in my eyes.

Even though his face had taken on a funeral pallor. There was humility and understanding in his gaze.

Don't worry mate, I'll put in a good word for you with the Allocator, so you can follow me....

.....

Suddenly there was silence, we managed to keep our balance and smiled at each other as if we had just returned from the war. We both managed to survive, isn't it a miracle?

- Suck it! - suddenly sounded the headmistress' voice from the crowd that was still surrounding us.

- Wh-wh-what?! Who said that?! - As usual my best friend has a rather strange reaction to romantic nonsense. He gets embarrassed pretty easily, what can you do?

Speaking of him. My friend is a little shorter than me, has stylish short hair with fringes and slightly shaved sides, full, light pink lips, big eyes and, causing strange sensations when touched, soft skin. Also, his father is a policeman, himself a male model who wants to be a rock musician. Really not sure if the name Glenn Stacy is a suitable name for a rock and roller, he should definitely go with a pseudonym.

- Suck it!

- Suck it!

As the crowd continued to chant something. A thought popped into my head. This is Marvel World, right? My friend's name is almost the same as one of their comic book characters. But then he must be a girl, and his name must be Gwen. What if my dear friend from kindergarten, my only hope and support..... What if he's a reverse trap?

- Sitting in a tree and sucking merrily~

- Oh, what a pain, what a pain, but so good, so keep going~

Then that explains so much! We've never once gone to the loo together. He's always fussing when I pile on his back when we meet. Discussions of any kind of obscenity, he cuts off at the drop of a hat. Hell, we've never even once competed to see whose jet goes farther, how can we even be called friends after that?!

I can't leave it like this, and I only know one way to know for sure if my friend is a reverse-trap or not.

*Jmack*

- Kyaayyyyyyyyyy! - joyous screams and spurts of blood from women's noses accompanied my act of groping a presumably male breast.

- Wh-wh-what are you doing?!

As expected, Glenn blushed on the spot and bounced away sharply, covering the scene of abuse. All I could find was a shirt and.... Bandages? Although maybe that's just the weird material of his individual shirt.

- H-h-how can you do this kind of thing without warning?! What if my heart stopped?!

- I was just wondering-

- Does that give you the right to touch me?! You want people to believe you had no bad intentions with that lewd smile on your face?!

- I've had it since we started talking, actually before. - Since when did it become lewd?!

- Peter, you're an arsehole!

I have to admit, it wasn't exactly a manly escape in tears....

**Football field.

Like the roof in Japanese anime, the place of all dramatic conversation in American High is behind the bleachers of the football field. Thanks to this cliché, I was able to find my mate without too much trouble.

- Yo, Glenn.

Yeah, sitting in tears with my knees pressed to my forehead didn't look very manly either..... Everyone knows men only cry into pillows.

- Mm-hmm, Peter?

Okay. How do I shift the dialogue towards my hunch about his/her secret? I'm sure he/she has a reason for hiding his/her gender, right? I don't think he/she liked deceiving me. So I have to use all my communication skills and be as smooth and understanding as possible....

- Do you have a penis? What the hell am I talking about?!!!

- Uwaaaah! - There you go, making the trap cry again.

....

- Glenn, there's something that's been bugging me for fifteen minutes and thirty-one seconds.

- Do you have a harassment schedule?!

- Yeah, I've got to be outside the nursery in five minutes, making sure the cute lollies don't get followed by any perverts.

- Really?!

- Of course not! - Why the hell is our dialogue not working? It's like he's filling in the gaps in the number of jokes in this chapter. - Okay. Let me get this straight, are you a girl, Glenn?

- Huh?! C-c-c-c-c-certainly not! - Glenn glowered and looked away, her lips tightly pressed together and her fingers rubbing together, what kind of obvious lie is that?

But wait! That's not right! I mean, he's been my friend since kindergarten for so many years! If he says he's a guy, he's a guy! Who can you trust if not your friends?!

- Hmm. I'm sure my best and only friend wouldn't lie to me. I mean, if it turns out to be a lie, how can I trust people after that? I guess in that case, I'll just give up, move away and end up as a lonely lighthouse keeper on a remote island. - I'm sure Glenn feels good about what I'm saying. It's nice to hear how much you mean to someone.

- Ugh! - he even had a heart attack! I hope the excessive joy doesn't cause an arrhythmia.

.....

- That's enough, Uwah! - Rejoicing at my next words about how precious his friendship and trust between us is to me, Glenn even cried. God, what kind of sincere guy is that? He can't even contain his feelings, let alone any secrets?

After school, we went home together. I invited him over to my place as an apology for my misplaced suspicions. If you think about it, his reaction to what happened in the corridor was pretty reasonable. Not many people would like to be petted by a bloke. However...

For some reason.

I liked it.

Did I--?

- Look, let's change the subject, okay? H-O-R-O-S-H-O?! - How can I say no to my best friend, especially when he's looking at me with bloodshot eyes?

Next, I recounted all the events of today that happened to me at school.

- Peter-Peter, do you really not understand what those high school girls wanted from you? - My friend, isn't it obvious?

- To turn me in to the boss?

- Haa. That's what they wanted. Well, that's what they wanted. Wh-when the pistil and the stamen love each other very much and the stork--

- Sex? - Glenn nodded, and by the way, I had to give him credit for explaining it so clearly. - Haa... So you're the kind of guy who thinks that if a classmate smiles at him, she's in love and wants to go out with him, you're a simpleton.

- Isn't that always the case? It's usually like this for me.

- Die.

- What?!

- Sorry, I misspoke. Why don't you go and die a painful death, you bloody playboy!

- What kind of fix is that?! It's only gotten worse!

- Anyway, if we can't agree, why don't we ask the high school girls themselves?

- А?..

Also surprised at how conveniently circumstances had made them end up on the road to my house, in the neighbourhood where this very house was located, Glenn stared at the very same girls who liked to ruin other people's sleeves.

- Oh~ Handsome, so you're not alone? - The blonde with purple eyeshadow spoke up.

- Uh-huh-huh, and he's pretty good too, even better than Parker, lol. - She should have ironed her shirt better, because it was so wrinkled that I could see the colour and pattern of her bra. It's burgundy with roses.

- It's kind of weird... - Glenn whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. Am I-

- Hey, maybe they're gay. - Again the blonde spoke an obvious untruth that couldn't possibly be true, not at all!

- Ouch. - and as soon as we were distracted by her, the brown girl injected something into my neck and in a second my consciousness fell into sleep.