I am Peter Parker

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***

- Whoo!.... Whoa! Hmm!

As if she was in a horror film, Sue slowly made her way towards the hospital screen behind which was her twin sister's bed.

- Whoa!

Sue could only see a shadow skittering back and forth. Yes to hear a voice that also danced from complete surprise to joyous delight, occasionally breaking into an anxious shudder. Whatever was happening on the other side of the screen, Sue had to see it with her own eyes, for the temptation had no bounds.

- Kya!

At the abrupt lifting of the veil, Joanna shrieked and started to hide her smartphone like a frightened, naughty child.

- Ooh! Hi, Sue, sis, how's it going? - a confused timbre, slurred speech, and a face all flushed like a bucket of paint had been thrown on it.

- It's nothing. - Sue said calmly, as she began to empty the bags of goodies. - Hop!

Abruptly she slipped behind her twin's back and snatched the phone out of her stress-sweating hands. To see on the screen...

- "Wooaaaah!..."

As the crowd cheered the guy who had escaped the fire trap and held a soot-covered Joanna in his arms.

- Haa... And how many times have you rewatched that video already...?

Though sighing heavily, Sue couldn't hide a smile. When the whole situation got out of control, when Joanna was alone with the fire, temporarily losing her powers, it was one of the longest moments of Sue's life, it felt like time was moving like a viscous tar, but it felt like it wasn't even there.

- It was just... - my sister averted her eyes. - A couple of times. nothing more.

Sue could only raise an eyebrow in puzzlement at such an obvious lie; for a moment she felt as if they were ten years old again and Joanna was once again making up reasons why she couldn't do her homework. Funny thing was, fire or a random boyfriend had been in her excuses more than once.

- Okay! I've been watching the video over and over again, and I've lost count of how many millions I'm on!

- You've counted to a million? - at the slightly sarcastic remark, Joanna frowned. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- How could I not, with my prince on it! - Joanna's eyes glistened and her cheeks turned as pink as a baby's.

- What? - while Sue's gaze expressed a general, stuck expression on her face - total incomprehension.

- Well, don't you see?! He took me in his arms and saved me from danger, just like in the fairy tales! - Joanna was literally glowing with excitement and happiness.

- Listen. I don't want to ruin your joy, but... You don't know anything about him at all. - She wanted to say, "I know he's my prince!"; but Sue read it in her eyes, and before she could answer, she went on. - Not his name, not whether this guy is normal or not. I mean, this behaviour is pretty unusual, by today's standards, don't you think?

- It doesn't matter! When his arms came round me, I realised... - "How could you realise something when you're unconscious?"; but Joanna beat her to it. - I felt that this was what they call the bond of fate! That we were destined to be together! Chiaia! What shameful things, you make me utter!

While Joanna burrowed her head under the duvet and twisted round the bed like a madwoman, Sue took another deep breath and said. - 'Most importantly, you don't even know how to find your prince...'

The spinning on the bed immediately stopped, and the fall in mood could be felt even through the thin blanket. Suddenly, a new problem fell on Joanna's head, and everything, because just now, was so glorious...

**Peter**

- Well?

- What do you say, Peter?

- Come with us after school, Amanda knows the password to her dad's liquor cabinet. The four of us are gonna have so much fun.

What kind of situation is this? I'm being invited over by some high school girls? And offering to have a drink with me? Don't they know it's too early for us to drink alcohol?

- Nuuuuu~ Petey~- a brown haired girl with bright make-up hung onto my arm, clearly crinkling my sleeve. Oh well, the morning ironing has gone to waste.

More importantly! What exactly are they setting me up for? Being alone with three girls, and with n-number of alcohol... That doesn't bode well!

It's probably going to be like when I went out with the class at school and everyone ended up in groups and socialising, while I pretended to be mysterious, staring lonely into the sky. All because I'm bad at keeping a conversation going!

What does girl talk even look like?

- "Did you see that bag? That guy is hot. "Look at my manicure? Hey, guys, can we talk about periods?" - (note the inference of someone who has no experience with the opposite sex in groups).

And the drunks?

- "Do you respect me?! In my time! I only drink at all, only on holidays! Wavuuuuuuaaakewa?!?!?" - (Note: Inference of a person who has no experience of socialising in campaigns, while drinking alcohol).

But...

what is drunken girl talk like?

- "Hey, don't you respect my purse?! There was a time when I had a manicure! I drink exclusively on my period!" - (note....)

That's kind of creepy.

- Oh! Your hands are so strong~

- Really?! I wouldn't mind you taking me with them~

- Slutty, boo!

- I mean, I'm talking about when I was carrying that girl in my arms. And v~s~e~g~g~o~t~o~-" the blonde girl with purple-pink shadows shot me a glance with a strange stretch. What, does she want... For me to help her rearrange her furniture?

- Psst... Petey, I'm wearing slutty lingerie today~

I see now! Why didn't I realise that before?! I guess it's because all my past life and this one, girls ignored me! I'm not sure if the past sentence deserves an exclamation mark, more like..... Never mind! How blind could I be to realise or see their desires at once?!

- Hey, what are you two whispering about, and anyway, I want to touch Parker too.... A lot of places.

That's it! Isn't it obvious what these predators want?!

- Oh, I think my nipples are on your shoulder, I'm so stupid, I forgot to wear a bra~.

That's sneaky, very sneaky...

But I can't be tricked by planted collectors, Miss Boss!

- You were so cool in that fire video~ - there it is! I turned out to be right, which is to be expected. They're baring their teeth at me to find out more about the incident, maybe even find a way to pin it on me!!!?

But what do I do? How do I retreat? If they suspect something, there's no escaping the scandal! An investigation will be launched, the school will decide to expel me to avoid damage to its reputation, the guardians, hearing about the accusations, will kick me out of the house. I'll find myself on the street, without a job, without schooling, all alone. And there will be nothing left for me but to live on the street and eat slop, and then, because of lack of money for a lawyer, I will lose the case and end up behind bars. All because I didn't know how to get out of a conversation!

- Uh-oh.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a classmate, E-something Allen, walking by, carrying an entire tower of paper. This was my chance!

- Excuse me, I saw my classmate who needs help.

- Ah. - I grabbed the brown girl's arm to get her away from me. She was more persistent and put her hand round my palm. Which made me have to put my other hand on top of hers, squeezing it tightly to finally get free.

- Hey, I, ka-... Ah! - anticipating that the blonde would try to say something to stop me. I ran my fingers through her hair.

- I'm sorry, it felt so soft, I couldn't help myself. - Any nonsense will do, just take them by surprise before they realise what's going on and interrupt my escape!

- HUH? HUH?

With puzzled voices and sighs of bitterness at having been played. I was finally able to break free. And without wasting any time, I jumped up to my classmate with a friendly smile on my face.

- Huh?" feeling her weight diminish and stripped of the paper curtain, the dark-haired brunette was puzzled.

- Is it okay if I help? - ha ha, as if you have a choice, the paper is already in my hands, I didn't give you a chance to refuse!

- Y-yes, no, it's okay. I'm doing fine on my own. - Why is it so hard with women?!

- So where did you say they should go? - Acting proactively, I followed her original trajectory, showing by my actions that I won't take no for an answer.

- Hey! I told you, I can do it myself! - silence is gold, and ignoring it is a Hawaiian collector's salvation.

.....

- S-thank you.

- You're welcome. - As I walked out of the teacher's lounge, I glanced both ways down the corridor, as if preparing to cross the road before I left.

- Hey, P-...Parker, wait up. We need to talk. - I don't know why, but that last sentence sent shivers down my spine, why would it?

- Yeah? Okay. About what? - I tried my best to smile, like I did all the time before, but my cheekbones hurt! Can we finish this quickly?

- Erm... - Clearly wanting to prolong my torture, Elizabeth A-what's-her-name blushed, turned away and fidgeted in her seat. - You see... You... Why are you doing this to me?

- ...? - I could only tilt my head in response to her clearly expectant, glistening emerald eyes, as I couldn't find the answer to what she was talking about in my heart.

- Well... I mean. - I'm afraid a few more seconds and I'll tear a muscle in my cheeks. I wonder what it's called? Cheek muscle? - You only say hello to me. You often lend me supplies when I forget them at home. And today you helped me with the paperwork...

What a strange girl, isn't it obvious why I do that?

- Well, we're desk mates.

- That's it? - she's obviously waiting for something. She's waiting for me to say something, but what?

- More classmates.

- That's it? - the woman's face is turning blue!

- Students from the same school.

**Fifteen minutes later**

- And no one else?

- Two species that fit into the mammal group.

- Is that it?

- Primates, to be precise.

- Is that it?

I haven't felt my face for about five minutes now, and E-what's-her-name Allen keeps barraging me with questions, clearly expecting a definite answer. Why does it take so long to change in this school anyway!

- Homo sapiens?

- Peter, why aren't you answering my question? - What have I been doing for the last 15 minutes?

*(phone ringing)

- Oh, we have to go. But is it okay if we continue this later? - Or maybe don't, please!

Apparently taking my smile as a sign of agreement, she smiled radiantly too. The only trouble is that I wasn't smiling, my face, it was cramped.....

- But you know...? - Leaping forward a little, she turned round to pronounce. - It's not good to play with a woman's heart. - Another beaming smile, after which Elizabeth A-what's-her-name ran far ahead.

- Ouch. - I finally tried to remove the friendly smile. Unfortunately, it was frozen solid, do I really have to go through the rest of my life with it? Just as I thought before - nothing good can be expected from socialising!