Harry Potter: The Blogger of Hogwarts

I met Ron Weasley, one of the redheaded children I mentioned. And it turned out the woman, his mother, had been directed to tell me how to get onto the platform by the headmaster, the aforementioned Dumbledore. Is anyone else finding Dumbledore suspicious? Because I totally am.

"Look, I'd really like to be your friend," Ron went on, "but not if it's some scheme of the headmaster's. You seem nice. I know there's the whole Boy Who Lived thing, but, well…maybe you're just like me? Trying to make your way in the world. Not really seen."

I smiled at him. "Ron, it's okay. You've earned my trust, telling me all this. I mean, we've just met, but I can see the two of us being friends. Any idea why Dumbledore is doing all this?"

Ron shrugged. "No clue, but Mum's not happy so it can't be good. People say all sorts of weird things about him. I think he might have a bit of a cheese obsession."

"A cheese obsession?" I repeated incredulously.

"Yeah, cause he keeps talking about the grater gouda."

I guffawed. A sweet guy with a sense of humor centering around puns? Yes, please! "He sounds dairy off his rocker!" I said, and the two of us were practically in stitches from laughter.

I felt light and free and happy like I've never been before. I've never had friends before. Dudley scared them all off. But there's no Dudley here. And even if that Draco guy shows up, Ishtaran would scare him away. For the first time, I could be myself and not be punished for it. I would learn magic, thwart whatever silly schemes Dumbledore had, and find a way to use magic to automate the cooking process at the fish and chips shop I'm still determined to open.

When Ron showed me his rat Scabbers, Ishtaran poked his head out of the bag where I'd been keeping him and gave a snarl. That creature doesn't smell right, he informed me.

What does that mean? I asked, ignoring the fact that Ron's face had frozen in a comical rictus of horror. I couldn't blame him, I suppose. If I couldn't understand Ishtaran and a snake had just popped out of nowhere, I'd be freaked out too.

I don't know, Ishtaran said, sounding frustrated. He's a rat and yet not.

Probably just some weird magical mutation, I decided and then ignored it. Surely such a thing wouldn't be at all significant. A far more important issue was at hand, namely that Ron was looking at me like I was about to go all Exorcist on him. "Ron, mate?" I asked, waving a hand in front of his face. "Anyone at home?"

"You're a Parselmouth," Ron said in a rough, raspy tone. And yet, I could not help but note, he was not running.

"I am," I said gently. "But I'm not evil. I was just born this way."

"But…but it's a dark talent! You Know Who had it!"

I stopped myself from trying to get Ron to say Voldemort's name. I was asking for quite a lot in trying to get him to accept me as a Parselmouth. I didn't want to overload the poor boy. "Ron, look at me. Really look at me."

Ron looked me up and down, taking in my less than impressive wardrobe and my probably slightly malnourished appearance. "Oh," he said softly.

"If I was some sort of evil mastermind, I wouldn't look this pathetic," I told him. "I'm not anyone special, no matter what anyone says. I want to learn magic and when I get older, I'm going to run a fish and chips shop. Potter's Platters, I'm going to call it."

"Will friends get a discount?" Ron asked eagerly. I had a hunch the path to this guy's heart led directly to his stomach.

"If they don't do dumb things like think I'm evil because of something I'm born with," I said sharply.

Ron gave a shaky grin. "Yeah, I think I can manage that. I'm sorry, Ishtaran." He tried his best to speak Parseltongue but only came up with discordant gibberish.

Is the orange one having a seizure?

"He's just being Ron," I said with a grin, which Ron shared.

I bought a whole bunch of candy when the trolley lady showed up. The train may not have been sufficiently magical, but the candy made up for it. Here, let me show you.

[Image description: Various packages of Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor beans, et al.]

The coolest part were the Chocolate Frogs, which actually hopped around. I felt a little bad eating them, but Ron says they're not actually alive, they're just animated by a spell, which made me feel better. Eating the stuff made me feel better too! It turns out Chocolate Frogs also come with trading cards of famous mages. I got one with Dumbledore on it. And get this! The pictures move around! Isn't that just awesome?

Dumbledore is definitely, probably deliberately, going for the Gandalf look. Seriously, this dude could be Sir Ian McKellen's understudy. The card says he's done things like defeat the dark lord Grindelwald and worked on alchemy with his partner Nicolas Flamel. I'm sure none of that will be important for later!

I was just about to ask Ron about who these people even were when a girl barged into our compartment. She had bushy hair and her face was alight with fervor. I detected true mad scientist vibes from this girl.

"Hi, you must be Harry!" she said, practically bouncing on her feet with excitement.

"Aw, and here I thought my hair was cut pretty short this time around," I said with a theatrical pout. Ron snorted. The girl didn't get it. I am unappreciated on an epic scale.

"I'm Hermione Granger," she said after a few moments of awkward silence and held out her hand for me to shake. "But you probably know me as Daughter of Dentists."

I suddenly felt very silly for not remembering that Daughter of Dentists intended to speak to me when I got to the train. But come on, I've been busy having literally everything I thought I knew be wrong. Cut me some slack. "Oh, sure, nice to meet you! This is my friend Ron and my pet Ishtaran."

Ishtaran moved his head from side to side and I realized this was his equivalent of a wave.

Hermione let out a high pitched squeak and it took me a minute to realize it was not one of fear, but rather of excitement. "You can speak to snakes?! Oh, that is so amazing! How does that even work? Is there a genetic component?" Hermione proceeded to absolutely besiege me with questions.

"Blimey, Hermione, give the lad some room to breathe!" Ron said.

.....

Want to read ahead by more than 60 chapters?

Then join my patreon now.

Link: p*atreon.com/Nebula_Scribe (Remove the *)

2+ free advanced chapters from each of my books.