Class C: Civil War

"Ibuki are you okay to shower, or get changed by yourself?"

"Of course! What, was your plan to help me?! Gross."

"Wasn't my intention."

"Why did you ask then?"

"We can't leave you in those clothes, they're wet and too warm. Plus, you need to wash the sweat off your body."

"So, what if I couldn't, wouldn't you have to wash me?"

"...No, I was planning on getting the nurse again."

"Sure, you were. I think she might be the more dangerous option to be honest..."

"You might not be wrong."

"...Ibuki, please get some clothes ready before you go in there..."

"...Yeah, I know, was just testing you." This girl is proving to be dangerous to me...

"Testing, whether a high school boy would take the chance at letting you go in there with no change of clothes? That seems like a stupid test."

"And you passed with flying colours! Faith in humanity restored."

"If you have workout clothes or something similar it might be best to wear those."

"Picking what I wear now as well, tell you what, why don't you come over and look in the drawers for me?!"

"...I'll be intruding then."

"That was obviously a joke!"

"Yeah, not my best judgement."

"Fine, workout clothes. There. That acceptable fetish weirdo?"

"..."

"Horndog, creepazoid, lolicon pervert."

"We're the same age."

"No issue with the rest of them, though?"

"None of the others are a crime."

"Yeah, and a cell is just a room buddy." Indeed, any room is a confine, whether the new rooms we have been given by the school or the cells of my alma mater. It's all the same.

---

Hey, main character here! How's it going? Day going fine? Good, that's good to hear. Me? Me, I'm good. I mean I got this dope seat, now I can duck and cover from the teacher. Don't even have to pretend to pay attention to this crap anymore. Awesome!

The uninitiated might think it was stupid to pay nearly half the monthly allowance for a seat change, but that would be foolish to think. Now follow me for a minute.

I paid half a month's allowance to change a seat, into where I can slack off whenever I want. Not only that, but the classroom is also never swapped as stated by the teacher meaning this seating will prevail through every year here. Meaning I get 3 years, for those slow ones out there, that's 36 months of seating for half a month's allowance. And I never have to pay again. I know, I know. I get frightened by my own genius all the time, it's completely natural. It only means I'll have to struggle through this month on less than everyone else.

But am I really struggling? Nearly 60,000 yen for a month of expenses, basically no bills. Only food and whatever other facilities I pay for during the month. Wow what a rough time. No, seriously how am I supposed to survive?

Considering a whole 8 hours is spent in school I've effectively paid for something that gives dividends for a third of the total time I'll spend these next three years.

...I'm shaking. Seriously this much power in the hands of a mere mortal is dangerous. If only standardized tests checked for the real genius ideas, I'd be at the top of the school. This is an elite school too, that'd basically make me top of the nation. Damn. Life's looking up. That and the girl I swapped with was hella cute, is that my in? 

I could check in on her every so often, I mean she's sat right next to that scary looking dude. It wouldn't be strange for her to feel uncomfortable in class. When she does that's exactly when I can come on in, reassure her and get to know her a little better. I got the seat now all I need is the girl, or several depending on the genre. I'm partial to a popular archetype, especially with all the talent in this class, god damn.

"Ayanokouji Kiyotaka? Guess he isn't here. Ryuuen Kakeru?" Sakagami-sensei our homeroom teacher was nearing the end of the register.

"Yeah."

Speak of the devil and he appears. That scary looking dude was sat right next to the absent kid. God what a coward, did he really not show just because he's sat next to that guy? Embarrassing.

"Isoyama Nagisa?"

"Yes. Here Sakagami-sensei." That was one of the only voices that could break me out of the all too important thoughts racing around my mind. She had a voice like a bell, every time it chimes the surroundings quietened in comparison as if something righteous were occurring. She had long blue curled hair which cascaded down to her upper back, reminiscent of of the tide. Her eyes held the pearlescent lustre of the moon which gathered the attention of all. No wonder men want to go to space, I want to conquer that moon. God, I should write poetry. Girls like artists, right? Her figure like an hourglass, I just want to watch the sands of time pass.

Straight from the top of my dome. Sign me up.

"Ibuki Mio? Guess she isn't here either. Yabu Nanami?" That was the girl that stormed out yesterday, right? Things were getting a bit tense, good thing they stopped, or I might've had to get involved.

"Here sensei."

"Haha, are they banging already?!" A few of the classmates chuckled in response. As if, it's the first day of school that's moving way too fast. Even harem protagonists don't get down and dirty that quick! Besides, if anyone's getting action it definitely isn't the no-show on the first day.

"...Takumi Oda, please keep in mind where you are. I see you're at least present. Finally..."

My time was coming up. This is the true marvel of the protagonist seat, everyone had to wait and anticipate the calling of my name. Prepare yourself my name is-!

Hey, where are you going!?

Come bac-!

---

I am in a grave dilemma.

As we speak a girl, as in one of the females of my own species is currently bathing in the other room. Meanwhile I have been left to my own devices whilst awaiting her.

What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Don't move a muscle.

Don't think.

No, don't even breathe.

If I breathe wrong, it might be a front to her. Don't do anything that could be even slightly taken out of context. Close your eyes, just pass the time.

Wow. The back of my eyelids is truly such a unique sight. Wow, so interesting. Ah, no good the image of the room is superimposed in my head. The painstaking gaze I drew after Ibuki opened the door is ingrained in my mind's eye. Closing my eyes only led to other senses being heightened. The dulled scent of deodorant, the sound of the water hitting the floor. The constant shuffling of a person's body behind the door. Ibuki calling my name...

Whoa, hold on a minute. That definitely isn't happening. Bad, Ayanokouji, bad!

"Hey, dumbass! I said hand me a shirt already!" Oh shit, that was real.

"...How did you manage to forget a shirt this time?" I hope she hasn't forgotten a bra again as well.

"Just grab me one."

"Does it matter which one?" Okay, that is definitely not the right draw... Okay... Done looking now, just... Yeah, okay here they are.

"Oh, yeah. Make sure it's cute, it's absolutely imperative." Laced with sarcasm a bit of venom was spat at me.

"...If it's any consolation I think any would look good on you..."

"...Just grab one."

The door opened just a crack for me to hand the shirt through to her. Through the brief opening I could barely make her reflection despite the mist on the mirror. At least she remembered a bra this time, that must mean she only grabbed that and no shirt. All this excitement is a bit much for me, my blood pressure is going to end up through the roof.

With my one task completed successfully I returned to the table and sat in my chair once more.

"Hahhh, see feel much better already!" I could've paid you not to make that sound, this isn't good for my heart. C'mon I'm supposed to keep it stable at all times, such base temptations can't break my training!

Ibuki quickly entered the room in typical workout clothes, or at least what I assume they are. Dark blue shorts, a sports bra and a long white t-shirt. All rather loose fitting and good choices for the situation considering wiping the sweat would be cumbersome if we continuously had to pry the fabric from the skin. Well, that's what the logical side of my consciousness was saying.

The imaginative side of my brain was hyper-fixating on the clothing she was wearing. The looseness and comfort made it feel like what a couple would wear around each other after a few months, they get more comfortable and are fine showing the laxer sides of themselves off. That alone was enough to set my mind into delusion. Seriously I need some help, this is a sick girl we're talking about here. Focus on the job.

Closing my eyes and drawing a few heavy breaths.

"...You charging up or something?" 

"Every time you call me a robot, it hurts me more and more you know?"

"I never called you one."

"You certainly implied it."

"No, I meant like... like charging up a finishing move? Kamehameha, y'know. Like that." I don't even know what to say...

"Why would I need a finishing move in this scenario?"

"Payback for the bus?"

"...Listen I had my trouble in the nurse's office, you had your trouble with... dressing yourself today. I say we just call it even."

"I forgot something, I don't have trouble getting dressed!"

"Just one thing?"

"Yeah, I only forgot one thing!"

"I can't help to have noticed you also weren't wearing your bowtie, care to explain?"

"...I. I, uh... Forgot it?"

Now it was my turn for a smug victory. Ha! Only had to wait for her to be sick for it to happen. Either way a win is a win, no matter the methods. Using my fingers to raise the corners of my lips I turn to Ibuki in victory.

"Pfft...Dude, what are you doing?"

"...Smiling."

"You can understand why I call you a robot now, right?"

"...Yeah." Why does it feel as if I have lost once again?

"...I mean it still isn't exactly even, you want to see mine. I don't want to see yours..." What a preposterous assumption! You assume that I want to see your... your... chest? No, absolutely no way, I didn't even ingrain the image into my retinas accidentally. Promise.

"Whilst your assertion hurts my feelings, I can't exactly deny it. So, what do you propose?"

"Uh, money. I guess?"

"...Ibuki, I don't want to call you an idiot. But you know what that means right?"

"What?"

"You're essentially saying that you sold your body at that point..."

"Idiot, dumbass, pervert. How dare yo-!"

"You proposed it."

"...Chicken-head."

"Really? Chicken-head?"

"My bad, cockhead."

"Cocks and chickens are completely different, you can't exactly just indeterminably substitute the two of them."

"Man, you must be so much fun at parties..."

"I wouldn't know I've never been." Ouch, why did I say that?

Ibuki also recoiled upon that revelation, she immediately turned away and walked towards the bed.

"...So then, what do we do now?"

"I've got the bucket and a flannel here, so we can wipe the sweat and use it to cool your head for the fever. Other than that, I need to make some food you can stomach right now."

"...Can you even cook?"

"It can't be that hard."

"Oh my god. I'm going to die..."

"Aren't robots supposed to be good for these tasks, you should have a bit more faith in me."

"If I've learned anything in life, when robots become self-aware the world is over. You aren't providing much hope for me right now, Ayanokouji."

"Give it a rest already. Do you have any suggestions for food?"

"Even you can't mess toast up. Just do that." She had managed to steadily set herself under the covers.

"Negative, it needs to be easy on the throat. Not only that you need some proper nutrition. Something hot and soup based is better. Try again."

"...Just grab one of the tinned soups from the store then."

"...Ibuki. Just let me take care of you, will you?"

"You're doing a bit much for only knowing me a day."

"...I'm programmed to serve." Doing my best impression of a robot voice... Which I'm now noticing is my default setting, how worrying.

"...You're such an idiot... Miso soup, then. Please."

"Got it. I'll get some ingredients in a minute then. Sorry, but I'll be borrowing your kitchen. Mind if I take the card to get back in?" 

"...Yeah, it's just on the side there."

"Cool, I'll be back in a minute." I guess I'll watch a video on the way there. Need to make sure I grab all the ingredients as well. Before I left, I threw one last glance behind me to see Ibuki looking at my back. We both looked away immediately. The heavy blush and haze in her eyes is going to lead to too many delusions in my own head. I need to get a move on. 

Finally shutting the door behind me I take the elevator once more. Albeit from the girls' floor for the first time. I didn't think this would happen so soon...