Zeroth Moment: My Cheat Skill Is Stupid, So I'll Just Ignore It

With a quiet grunt, Rudo forced open the large steel door; Topher thought it looked a lot like a bank vault if bank vaults were covered in glowing runes. "Once more, please be certain that you have gathered anything you do not wish to leave behind. I do not believe we will be returning to this place."

Topher frowned. "Seriously? You spent God knows how many years building this place, and you're just going to walk away from it?"

Rudo nodded, his expression serene. "A man learns when his life is worth more than his home. It will not be the first time." Without a backwards glance, he stepped forward and walked a short distance into the tunnel beyond, lit by dim red torches that seemed to burn without fire. "The door will close behind us. Let us be on our way."

Topher shrugged. "If you're sure, pal." Wincing slightly, he stepped across the threshold into the dungeon proper, feeling that he was doing something he couldn't undo. "Hana? Zanasha?"

Zanasha strode forward eagerly, her eyes bright; Hana hung back slightly, but attempted to hold her head high as she followed. "We are ready, Friend Topher," the half-orc added.

"I know most of the upper levels quite intimately," Rudo began, turning his back towards them and walking forward at a swift but easy pace. "If you follow me closely, we should be able to avoid combat with weaker monsters until we reach the areas I have not yet explored, around level nine of the dungeon." Quick-stepping into the darkness, he began making his way down a curving tunnel which sloped gently downwards.

"How many does it have?" Topher asked, feeling ignorant. "And what is it called? Or is it just 'the dungeon'?"

"Its proper name is 'The Tomb of Vashyarl', whom I assume to be the dungeon guardian," Rudo replied over his shoulder, "but most of my patrons called it 'the Frozen Hole'. There are at least ten levels, and possibly many more sub-levels on branched pathways; I only know of the most heavily-explored routes. Most parties which attempted to map out areas around the fringes of the more well-traveled routes did not return."

"Uh huh." Topher abruptly felt much less safe. "How tough are the monsters in here, then?"

"In the upper levels, they range from roughly Level 15 to Level 30, as far as I am able to tell," returned the older man, stepping deftly over a large bear trap and waving the others around it, "but as I do not possess the Improved Detect Status Skill, I can only estimate based on their power and resilience in combat. By the fifth level, most monsters are at least Level 30, and they increase in power from there. I have seen a few monsters which I believe to be around Level 50 on the eighth level, but beyond that I know little; all I know for certain is that some of the adventuring parties who hunted the deepest levels routinely did battle with monsters of Level 55 and higher. Based on that information, I cannot guess that the guardian itself would be lower than Level 60, and may be significantly higher." He shrugged.

Topher felt his palms beginning to sweat. "And you think we can take this thing how, exactly?"

Zanasha half-turned, cocking her head. "Friend Topher, surely your spells can injure it greatly. You were able to mortally wound a Capras; if you can inflict similar damage on the guardian, the rest of us should be able to use Master Muchenje's powerful items to finish it off."

Topher winced. Fantastic. We're all relying on me and my crap spellcasting. This is definitely a great idea. "What about hunting monsters on our way down, then?" he ventured. "If these monsters are all high-Level, surely we can get at least a couple of Levels on the way."

Hana's voice rang out tiredly from behind him. "At our current Levels, we require massive numbers of XP for each subsequent Level. Most adventurers kill monsters weekly or even daily for months or years to attain the next Level." He glanced back to see her hugging herself, her gaze wandering over the rough tunnel walls. "Even with Zee's help, it still took me almost ten years to get to Level 7."

"Huh." A small, insistent alarm was pulsing in Topher's mind; That can't be right. I got to Level 5 in like a week. Made Level 10 from killing, what, a handful of goblins and zombies? And then we all gained like ten Levels or more in Wanbourne. "Well, maybe we could just try one of the weaker monsters anyway. To test out our new gear, at least."

Rudo paused, then nodded. "A wise plan. I know of an area where monsters commonly roam on this level; it is not too far out of our way." Swiftly, he directed them down a side passage, then through a large cavern festooned with stalactites and stalagmites. Behind him, Topher saw Hana draw her Flux Blade, but she looked reluctant. Don't know why you're nervous, lady, he thought to himself sourly. You're clearly a badass, and you're the lowest Level out of all of us. You should be excited about a chance to catch up.

Unless she lied about her Level, too, observed the distant part of his mind. Topher scowled.

After a few moments, Rudo brought them up through a smaller tunnel into another cavern; they stood perched atop a small outcropping which overlooked a larger expanse below, where a handful of white-skinned furry bipedal creatures were lurking and scuttling around. "Wendigo," Rudo observed. "Typically mid-20s in Level. Keep your distance if you can; their claws are quite sharp, and can infect you with a cannibalistic disease."

Zanasha drew her new sword, grinning; it seemed to shed a lambent, subtle glow that illuminated nothing but itself. "I will make the initial charge; Hana-chan and Master Muchenje, would you do me the honor of protecting my flanks?" The others nodded; she turned to Topher. "Friend Topher, conserve your MP if you can; nevertheless, a magical shield would be appreciated if the need arises."

Topher nodded. "I've got you." Like I'm gonna let anything happen to you, he grumbled silently. Zanasha blinked, looking caught off-guard for a moment, then her gaze flicked to Hana and became resolute once more.

"On my signal," she murmured, drawing her shield and gathering herself behind cover at the edge of the outcropping. Then she leapt.

Topher's breath caught at the sight of her in midair; her brilliant red hair streamed out behind her as she fell, poetry in motion as she dove. She landed with a mighty crash which turned into a roll as the wendigos snarled and whirled about, up on her feet and dancing deftly away from their blows in an instant.

Topher started forward, his Stylus in his hand, but before he could cast a Shield the half-orc had gathered her strength and launched a devastating backhanded blow under the guard of one of the other monsters, who'd been approaching her blind side; Topher felt the impact from forty feet away as the blade crunched into the beast's ribs, then sheared right through them to bisect the creature and fling its remains away with violent force. Mighty Blow, he remembered, as Zanasha laughed gaily and whirled in a full rotation as she ducked under another creature's swipe. "Anytime you're ready!" she called out to them mirthfully.

Beside Topher, Hana started forward cautiously, but Rudo was already in motion; as Topher watched, he launched instantly from perfect stillness into fluid motion, running with impeccable balance down the curving cavern wall as though it were a level sidewalk. As Hana carefully hopped down onto the cavern floor, the older man bounded lightly from the wall onto a stalactite hanging from the ceiling and plowed feetfirst into the face of a wendigo who had been circling around to Zanasha's back; Topher felt his own teeth rattle from the impact as the creature was launched backward like a bowling ball into a cluster of stalagmites with a loud crash. As it shook itself and tried to rise again, Hana appeared behind it -- damn, she got there fast -- and lashed out at it with a long-handled axe shaped like a crescent moon. Bright blue blood spurted through the air as its head rolled free, and Rudo nodded as he turned to focus on the next opponent.

In moments, half of the wendigos were down; Topher thought about summoning something with his Trajectile Bracelet for practice, but decided he didn't want to tempt fate. This battle's got enough going on without accidental friendly fire. Instead, he stayed focused on being ready to Shield the others if needed, his Stylus spinning in his hand; for most of the battle he thought he wouldn't be needed, but eventually two of the survivors did rush Zanasha in a way that she couldn't avoid them both. She'd probably be fine, thought Topher sourly, but didn't feel like risking it; he muttered "Zom Voq" while visualizing the Priest sequence, and was gratified to see a staticky gray shield appear between the monsters and Zanasha, rejecting them with the solidity of an iron wall. The monsters were flung back, dazed, and the others capitalized on the opening; in moments, all the creatures lay dead, without any of Topher's party enduring so much as a scratch.

"Clean in half. Hana-chan, did you see?" Zanasha exulted, cleaning her blade. "And they had high Defense ratings, too!"

"Tell me about it," muttered Hana, stepping primly around the corpses of the fallen monsters. "Felt like hitting a cartload of bricks!"

"You looked like you weren't having too much trouble," Topher observed, floating himself down to join the others with a Feather Fall spell. "You took that thing's head clean off in one shot."

Hana shook her head. "Muchenje-san's attack reduced its defense temporarily; I could tell. And the Flux Blade can spend stored energy for an Attack bonus; slaying these creatures has recharged it a little, but it's still an ability I have to use judiciously." She flourished her weapon -- now a short, vicious glowing golden spike -- and returned it to its sheath as it dwindled back to a dagger.

"Recharge it?" Topher poked through the corpses, but found no items or coins. With a flex of his will, he conjured a dagger from his Trajectile Bracelet and began to cut them open in search of Magic Stones. "Since when does it need charge?"

"Chaos Weapons feed off the life forces of their victims," Rudo commented, rolling one of the corpses over and touching its stomach gently. "I imagine our duel exhausted most of its reserves."

"Ugh, gross." Topher winced. "Does it, like, pulse when you kill something?"

Hana wiped her hands on her jeans, looking away. "It's not pleasant. I don't want to talk about it."

"Hana-chan." Zanasha appeared behind Hana, squeezing her shoulder companionably. "There is no shame in doing what must be done."

"I know. I keep telling myself..." The young woman shook her head and walked away a short distance, looking about the cavern for more threats, then mumbled something and crossed her arms. Checking her Status, probably, Topher guessed. Like we all should probably be doing. "Status open," he muttered to himself, then scanned the resulting window with low expectations.

Name:

Christopher Bailey

Level:

28

Class:

Clerk

HP:

86/86

MP:

28/162

SP:

28/28

Strength:

Rank D

Dexterity:

Rank F

Constitution:

Rank C

Intelligence:

Rank D

Wisdom:

Rank D

Charisma:

Rank F

Skills:

Literacy (Rank D)

Mathematics (Rank C)

Cooking (Rank F)

Customer Service (Rank D)

Data Entry and Filing (Rank B)

Packaging and Shipping (Rank D)

Home Appliance Repair (Rank F)

Pen Spinning (Rank A)

[Disease Resistance (Rank C)]

[Poison Resistance (Rank C)]

[Obscure Location (Rank C)]

[Nondetection (Rank C)]

Special Skills:

Disrupt Illusion

Conjure Shield (Rank C)

Conjure Light (Rank F)

Improved Status

Summon Ledger

Remove Fatigue (Rank D)

Minor Sorcery (Rank C)

Summon Stylus

Sanctuary (Rank F)

Detect Status

Metaphrasty (Rank F)

[Pass Without Trace (Rank C)]

[Elemental Resistance (Rank C)]

[Damage Resistance (Rank C)]

[Status Resistance (Rank C)]

[Improved Mana (Rank D)]

Unique Skill:

Attract Object

"Huh." Topher blinked. "I Leveled. Level 28."

"As did I," Zanasha confirmed. "Level 26."

Rudo's eyebrow rose. "That is unusual."

"It's insane, is what it is," Hana interjected, whirling back to face the others. "Level 19. Why would I gain two Levels in one fight, against monsters we defeated easily?"

"Are we really gonna complain about it?" Topher pointed out. "Every Level we can get before facing the guardian -- and whatever ridiculous bullshit we have to fight after that -- is that much more of a chance to not explode when something looks at us funny."

"Logic with which I cannot argue," Rudo commented. The older man muttered to himself, then shook his head. "I am still Level 38, but that is to be expected."

"The important point," Topher cut in, "is whether everybody got to test out their items. Did we?"

There was a brief moment of silence, then Zanasha nodded. "I did, Friend Topher. The belt and boots significantly increased my Attributes and movement speed, as expected, and the sword Nethersbane seemed very effective against our foes."

Reluctantly, Hana nodded as well. "Same for me, Bailey-sama." Oh, so now I'm Bailey-sama again. "I managed to avoid being struck, so I don't know if the rings worked. But the belt definitely did; my physical Attributes are at least D-rank while wearing it, similar to the effects of my Elixir." She shifted, holding her upper arms and looking away; Topher wondered what she was thinking. Zanasha, after another short pause, shrugged and sheathed her sword, then turned towards Rudo. "Master Muchenje, where shall we go now?"

"Hmm." The older man tilted his head, then turned to stare down into another tunnel into darkness. "Would you perhaps like to hunt more such creatures?"