NOVEL NEXT 34
Chapter 34: Preparation
Xi Tian paced back and forth in the tidied-up house, anxiously trying to determine if he had forgotten anything.
The bookcase, the sofa, the bed, everything was covered with dust cloths. Ellis was consulting the interstellar travel forum about the settlement issues on the agrarian star. He found out that not only did they need to purchase property, but they also had to reside there for at least a year, which meant they would inevitably have to leave this home.
As the departure date approached day by day, Xi Tian’s physical condition improved significantly, but he became noticeably more restless.
What does anxiety feel like?
It’s like a little devil with a bare bottom buzzing around your ears, clanging cymbals and shouting loudly, “You forgot something!” “You forgot something!” “Go check this!” “Go check that!”
It felt as if his heart had become a beehive, buzzing and chaotic wherever he went.
The dusty cloths covered every corner, obscuring his memories of this home.
His home had become gray and dark, transformed into an entirely unfamiliar place.
The fact he had been trying to avoid finally emerged: his home no longer wanted him.
He had to leave his home, leave the planet where he had lived for twenty-four years.
All these years, he had never left the land beneath his feet, never stopped breathing its air.
Now, it had turned hostile, brandishing a small whip at its child, glaring angrily, driving him out of its embrace, out of his homeland.
He was homeless.
Xi Tian slumped against the wall, sitting on the floor.
His mind replayed the events, the causes and effects clearly in sight. Yet, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of being abandoned.
He felt like a newly hatched chick, looking around but unable to find his mother or father, facing the harsh, cold world alone with his small, soft body.
He pressed his shoulders against his knees, hugging himself tightly.
His parents didn’t want him, and now even his home didn’t want him.
He wished he could uproot the house, fold it into his pocket, hold it in his palm, so no one could escape, no one could leave.
But even if he could control inanimate objects, he couldn’t control living beings.
People’s wills are the hardest to control; he couldn’t control his parents’ abandonment, others’ hatred towards him, or the decisions others made about him.
His parents brought him into this world, then distanced themselves from his growth.
Teachers taught generation after generation; the teachers remained, but the students could never return to their original places.
His friends, mentors, each had their own vibrant lives, making decisions without needing his approval.
Life trajectories are like intersecting lines; they meet at a point and then drift apart.
Everyone eventually leaves, regardless of the bonds of the past.
Don’t invest too much emotion, don’t love, don’t hate, just quietly watch them go.
That’s how it should be.
Don’t dwell on things, don’t linger, don’t expect. That way, there’s no disappointment, no pain.
The turmoil in his heart gradually subsided.
Xi Tian opened his eyes, his gaze calm and slightly cold, but he was met with a gentle look.
“Lord, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
Ellis was kneeling in front of him on one knee, a thick coat draped over his arm, his voice tinged with concern.
The recently quelled turmoil in Xi Tian’s heart started to stir again, a constant stream of sadness and grievance bubbling up, all caught and embraced warmly by Ellis.
“I don’t know what happened, but I’m here.”
Ellis clumsily mimicked the way the lord used to comfort him.
Whether it was the hug or the words, it comforted the male. Xi Tian said, “Sorry, I couldn’t control my emotions.”
Ellis responded with a soft “Hmm,” releasing the embrace and saying in a low voice, “Your legs are so hard, I almost couldn’t hold on.”
Apparently, Ellis had been eager to comfort, while the male was still in a position hugging his knees.
Xi Tian laughed, his laughter growing louder until he nearly ran out of breath. With Ellis’s help, he stood up shakily, but then he noticed, to his surprise, that a dust cloth had fallen from a previously intact bookshelf, scattering a dozen or so books on the floor.
“Why are the books on the floor?” Xi Tian asked.
Ellis handed the coat to the lord and picked up the books, placing them back on the shelf. “They were like this when I came in to find you. Didn’t you do it?”
Xi Tian shook his head, putting on the coat. “I never throw books on the floor.”
Ellis said nothing. The lord loved to read and could be found with a book anywhere. Moreover, Xi Tian was known to read multiple books simultaneously, placing them wherever convenient. He insisted that placing books on the sofa, coffee table, or floor was “arranging,” not “throwing around.” Small, trivial matters in daily life could always be points of contention, but the dust cloth falling to the ground was not something the lord would do.
“That’s really strange. How could they move with no one around?” Ellis remarked, walking over to hold Xi Tian’s hand, still cold to the touch.
Xi Tian’s body temperature was one degree lower than Ellis’s, and his hands were icy. With the continuous snowfall and dropping temperatures, they would have to travel outside for half a day to reach the interstellar airport, which made Ellis worry about keeping him warm.
“Your hands are so cold. I’ll find gloves, a scarf, and a mask for you to wear!”
Ellis adjusted the lord’s collar.
“Is it that cold?” Xi Tian pressed his hand to his face. “It’s just a bit chilly; there’s no need to bundle up that much.”
Ellis placed the back of his hand on the male’s face. “This is a normal person’s temperature. You can’t even feel the cold.”
Ellis had noticed this more than once. The male lord had abandoned his old habit of drinking warm water at a fixed temperature and sometimes ate scalding or cold food without feeling it.
The thought of leaving the zerg star must have hit the male lord hard. Although he still smiled and joked as usual, sometimes his eyes would lose focus, staring blankly.
“Wearing all that is too ugly. My face will be completely covered. This face is the only good-looking part of me; you can’t deprive others of the right to admire it.”
Xi Tian always paid great attention to maintaining his charm and elegance when out and about.
“The weather is very cold, and your body temperature is low. You’re prone to frostbite. You must wear them,” Ellis replied firmly.
“Can I choose just one?”
“No, you can’t miss any of them.”
“How about I choose one not to wear?”
“No negotiation!”
Even with the height advantage gained during his late growth spurt, the lord was still a bit shorter than Ellis. This morning, he had been an endlessly gentle and tender lover, but now he was like a child haggling over clothing choices.
“You’re twenty-four, not four.” Ellis laughed just like the lord had earlier. The difference was that he was trying to hold back his laughter, mimicking Xi Tian’s earlier behavior. He lifted Xi Tian’s chin and gave him a light kiss, whispering in his ear, “Be good, listen.”
Xi Tian instinctively responded, “Okay.” Then he realized that Ellis had tricked him.
Ellis ran out of the study like a whirlwind, laughing as he went to fetch the three prepared winter items.
“Ellis has really learned to be mischievous, even teasing me,” Xi Tian said, shaking his head and sighing. He glanced at the bookshelf and added, “If I had just used an e-reader or a tablet, I could have taken all these books with me. Now look, they get to stay here more leisurely than I do.”
Remembering something, he touched his face again. “It doesn’t feel cold.”
Author’s Note:
Xi Tian’s sensitive nature makes it impossible for him to follow a path of suffering, struggle, and upgrade. Such a path focuses more on hard work and less on inner feelings, while his sensitivity is perfect for expressing delicate emotions.
Currently, Xi Tian can sail smoothly through a stable life, but he’s like a flower in a greenhouse, unable to withstand the wind and rain. He still can’t let go of his feelings about his fathers and is afraid of having children. Only by going out and experiencing life can he move forward better.