Two Weeks Between Love and Hate

The GPS showed that the destination Mika wanted them to go to was about half an hour away in the next town over. The whole thing felt suspicious, and he really hoped she wasn’t dragging him into some kind of trap. He couldn’t help but imagine those scenes from old mob movies where they make the guy dig his own grave. His worries eased a bit when Mika let out an enormous snore, which made him struggle to hold back a laugh. If she was planning some nefarious trap, she was hiding it well. The drive dragged on, with only her snores and some low-volume alt-rock on the radio to keep him company. His thoughts drifted off as boredom set in.

“I don’t want to put you in danger or regret being with someone so used up and worthless.”

Jillian’s words from the other night kept echoing in Jason’s mind. Reflecting on that moment, he couldn’t quite pinpoint if it was sadness or guilt he was feeling, but it wasn’t pleasant.

“You deserve someone better, someone that isn’t so broken.”

It felt like her way of giving him an opportunity to end things right then and there. But at that moment, he wasn’t thinking about what lay ahead, about the pain their separation might bring. He hated to admit it, but he had been blinded by emotion and lust. His head certainly wasn’t thinking logically, letting his impulses guide him like a fool. Each time they argued, he ended up feeling the same guilt. It was so frustrating how easily Jillian could draw it out of him. He despised how he was becoming so weak and soft. It was all her fault. Yet he still felt an overwhelming desire for her, even now. Even though it was over between them.

The thought made him scowl, but he wasn’t angry. He was sad. What she said to him was in one way unforgivable, but in another he understood why she said it. Why, she was afraid that he only wanted her for her body.

Before Jason even realized it, they were pulling up to their destination. It was a small strip mall, and he pulled into an almost empty parking lot. Parking in front of the address, he looked at the sign in front of them.

“Carson’s Smash Zone?” he said aloud. A long drawn-out yawn came from next to him as Mika slowly woke up.

“Mmmggh, are we here already?” she asked, smacking her lips slightly.

“Umm, I guess so. You tell me,” he said, looking over at her.

She took a moment to blink away the sleep and look at the place in front of them.

“Yeah, this is it,” she said. Reaching over, she took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car.

Jason climbed out of the cramped vehicle with a groan. Stretching his back and legs, he tried to shake off the discomfort.

“So, what’s this place?” he asked, walking up with Mika. She unlocked the door with one of the keys attached to her lanyard.

He watched in mild surprise as she walked in without a care in the world.

“Do you own this place?” he asked, curiously.

“Nah, my half-brother Carson does. I just have a spare key cause I run it for him from time to time. C’mon, get inside,” she explained, letting Jason in. She locked the door behind them.

“He doesn’t open until later, so we’ve got the place to ourselves,” she said, disappearing into a door behind the front desk.

Looking around, there was graffiti art all over the walls and floor. Random broken objects were strung up and set on pedestals like they were posing as art pieces.

“Here, you will need these,” Mika said, having come back while he was gawking distractedly at the place.

She handed him a clear face shield, some gloves, and a hard hat. She quickly put on her own gear that looked a few sizes too big for her. Jason stood there, still a bit confused. He had a good idea of what this place was but wasn’t entirely sure why they were there.

“Mika, what’s the deal with all this? Why are we here?” he asked, watching as she grabbed a baseball bat from the wall.

“Stop questioning everything for once in your life and just grab something from the fuckin’ wall.”

Her tone was firm and full of annoyance as she walked past him towards a solid black door with a big blue “1” spray painted on it.

Jason frowned but went along with it yet again, opting for a large sledgehammer from the wall before following Mika into the room.

He entered the room shortly after her, and Jason found himself surrounded by a chaotic mix of broken, half-broken, and worn-out items scattered all over the place. It looked like they stocked the place with unbroken things for customers, but this one was mostly broken junk. So it seemed they were getting someone’s sloppy seconds.

“Sheesh...” he muttered, taking in the scene. “So, this is one of those… shit uhh?” Jason tried to remember what they were called exactly.

Mika casually tossed a piece of broken pottery into the air. “You can call it a smash room, break zone, crash therapy... whatever floats your boat,” she replied, choking up on her bat like a pro and smashing the pottery with a satisfying homerun crack. Shards flew everywhere. A few pieces clattered against his face shield and peppered his skin.

“Alright, but why are we here?” Jason started, but Mika cut him off with an unnecessarily loud groan.

“Dude, shut up and stop overthinking everything like a bitch and just smash something already!” She shot him a pointed glare.He was almost certain Mika hated his guts. But that begged the question, yet again, why did she bring him here? Jason scowled, feeling a surge of frustration building up inside him.

“Fine! You want me to fucking smash something? I’ll fuckin’ smash something!” he growled as he hefted his sledge over his shoulder.

He made his way over to an ancient TV that seemed straight out of the ‘80s. It was already broken but still kept most of its boxy shape. With a loud grunt, he swung the sledgehammer with all his might. The TV’s plastic and metal crumpled in on itself from the blow. The sledge was so buried in the old TV it got stuck in the twisted remains, which only fueled his irritation.

After wrenching his weapon free, Jason grabbed the TV by one of its broken edges and let out a primal yell as he hurled it across the room. The TV spun as it flew through the air till it slammed against the wall in a shower of glass and plastics. He took a moment to catch his breath, feeling a twinge of discomfort in his chest, but it only filled him with more rage. Compared to the emotional turmoil he’d been through this last week, this physical pain was nothing more than an annoyance.

Mika grabbed a remote from the wall and cued up some classical music to play over the PA system. She then got to work herself, tossing the remains of vases and glass objects toward a corner marked with graffiti that bluntly read,

“Throw glass here.”

It might not have been the most sophisticated safety measure, but it was better than nothing. After all, there was a reason why people had to sign a waiver before stepping in and usually wore much more gear than the two of them were.

Schubert’s Ave Maria filled the room as they continued their destructive spree, their frustrated grunts and efforts blending with the hauntingly beautiful voice of the singer in the background. Mika couldn’t keep up with Jason’s stamina, especially given how tired she was. So she grabbed a broom, swept a spot to sit near the door, and took a breather. The bare tattooed flesh of her arms was tattered with small nicks and cuts.

Mika calmly watched as Jason went wild, tearing up paintings, snapping wooden frames, and ripping the door off an old fridge with his bare hands. His muscles sheened with sweat and his arms were even more cut up than hers. Lines of blood trailed down his arms but did little to slow him down. He wielded his sledgehammer like it was Thor’s hammer, smashing anything and everything within reach, even throwing the weapon at one point to slam into the side of the fridge. Seemingly finding at least some solace in the destruction, he lost himself in the chaos for what felt like ages.

After an hour of relentless smashing and tearing, everything in his path lay in ruins. Jason was left breathless, his lungs burning with exertion, and his heart complaining about the extra work, but he felt strangely satisfied. His throat stung with each breath as he swallowed large, acrid gulps of air. With a heavy thud, he dropped the battered sledgehammer to the concrete floor and collapsed, panting heavily on his hands and knees, desperate for oxygen.

Getting up slowly, Mika switched off the music. She heard the familiar sound of debris crunching beneath her sneakers as she made her way over to Jason. Leaning on her bat for support, she squatted beside him.

“Feel better?” she asked, her tone just slightly less chilly than before.

Sweat dripped from Jason’s head and face onto his face shield. He pulled it and his helmet off and tossed them away before he looked up into her dark eyes.

“Yeah...I guess… a little at least.”

He used his gloved hand to brush away some debris before sitting down, leaning back on his arms he continued panting heavily.

“So, what the hell happened to you?” Mika said, cutting right to the chase. Jason wiped his brow and looked back at her.

“Well, that’s a bit of a loaded question. Give me something more specific,” he said with a hint of amusement, sensing there was more to her question than just small talk about his recent hospital visit, assuming she even knew about it.

“Alright, then let’s start with this: why’d you agree to go out with Jill if you were just planning on breaking it off?”

Mika was about as subtle as the sledgehammer he had been using. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, straight to the point, huh?” he said with a slight laugh. Mika just glared at him, waiting for an answer.

“Well, to be fair, we never really said we were going out. We admitted to having feelings for each other and that we were both okay with that,” Jason explained, but Mika’s expression remained unamused.

“That sounds a lot like going out to me,” she said casually, still squatting beside him with her bat. Jason nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, so why did you break it off?” she pressed, lifting and pointing her bat at him like it was a threat. There was a pause as Jason pondered.

“Quit thinking so hard about it and just tell me,” she urged. Without being given time to think, Jason was forced to just speak from the heart.

“Because I was scared, that’s why,” he said with a frown.

“Scared, huh?”

“Yeah... pretty much, laugh at me if you want,” Jason sighed before pulling off his gloves and tossing them down. Bringing his knees up a little he rested his arms on them, taking a moment to look at all the cuts on his arms that had already stopped bleeding.

“Of what?” Mika didn’t laugh, but she persisted in asking more, not giving Jason a break. He looked over his arms one last time before running his hand through his damp hair.

“Guess I was just scared that if we tried the whole long-distance thing, I’d just mess it up and never get the chance to see her again…. I’ve never been in a relationship before, Mika. I’m not great at handling failure... I tend to blame myself, and I end up resenting those I let down. If I started resenting Jillian, it wouldn’t be long before that turned into hate. And honestly, I’m so fucking tired of it. I don’t like who I am, even more so when I get angry. Jill has been the source of that anger for so long that when I was finally able to let it go… I never knew I could feel so free. But if I started to hate her again… I’m not sure what I would do.”

There was a pause as Mika took in his words.

“So what if you are new to this? That doesn’t mean it’s going to fail. Do you think Jill is perfect? Do you think anyone is? Have you even thought that you might not fail? That things might work out?” Her question caught him off guard, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Now that’s some serious optimism. Do you really think we wouldn’t turn the first real problem into a huge argument?” He chuckled softly at the absurdity of that thought and shook his head.

Mika shook her head. “Nope, I know that girl better than I rightly should. She’s always had trouble letting the small things go. If you want my honest opinion, I think it’d be best for you to pack up and head back to Florida ASAP. The farther you are from Jillian, the calmer both of your lives will be.”

Her words had an edge, sharp enough to cut, making her disdain for Jason crystal clear.

“Heh, when you’re right, you’re right,” he barked a soft laugh and glanced away, a wry smile playing on his lips.

“But this isn’t about what I think. My opinions aren’t what’s important.”

Jason looked back at her, a tad confused by her statement.

“I’ve seen Jill cry over guys before, but she always gets over it pretty quickly,” Mika paused, pushing herself up from her crouched position. She draped the bat behind her neck and took a step closer to Jason.

“When Jill dumped Brice after a year together, guess how long she moped around to get over him?” Jason shrugged his shoulders, clueless. She then held up three fingers.

“Three days?” He guessed.

“Three hours, and poof, she was back to normal. Like she wiped him from her memory.” She leaned down and grabbed Jason’s shirt collar tightly, her earrings and other piercings catching the light.

“So why is she an inconsolable wreck after just a week of on and off with you, crying herself into a coma and in the middle of the night like some Banshee? What the fuck did you do to my best friend, Jason?”

His heart started to race as Mika got in his face, mere inches apart. It brought back memories of when Jillian taught him to kiss: lean in, no pucker, close your eyes.

Mika’s eyes nearly popped out of her skull when Jason closed the gap between them and planted a kiss on her lips. Without a word, she instantly stood up and quickly stomped right on Jason’s genitals with all the force she could muster. His eyes popped open as a horrendously painful shock replaced all his thoughts when her tiny foot connected with his groin. He quickly fell to his side, hands moving down to cradle his smashed manhood.

“What the actual fuck, Jason! You son of a bitch!” Mika nearly screamed, wiping her lips and spitting in disgust.

“Do you think you can just do whatever the fuck you want? Just who the fuck do you think you… are?” Her tirade was cut short by Jason’s sudden and overwhelming laughter.

“Hahaha, oh fuck haha I’m-I’m gonna throw up, hahaha!” he cackled through the pain, still clutching his crotch.

“What the fuck, you psycho... Did you finally fuckin’ lose it? I mean I am not surprised, but why on earth are you laughing, you asshole?” Mika was still pretty angry, though just as confused.

Jason simply couldn’t stop laughing, even though he was on the floor in just the worst possible pain.

“Haha, I… I really didn’t like, haha, kissing you. Haha, shit it feels like you broke my fucking dick,” he managed to say between laughs. Mika stared at him, bewildered.

“Uhhh What?” she asked, her confusion slowly overcoming her anger.

Jason held up a hand, trying to catch his breath as his laughter finally started to subside.

“Haha, man that fuckin hurt,” he chuckled, slowly getting to his feet, his legs shaking slightly. He tried to adjust his junk to ease the pain in his groin.

“That was the point, dipshit. What did you expect? Me to suddenly fall for you like in some cheesy grocery store romance novel?” Mika sa, giving him a vicious glare.

Jason quickly shook his head and kept his hand raised defensively.

“No, at least I didn’t expect you to. You pretty obviously hate me. I have just been having these strange thoughts lately.”

Mika scrunched her face in irritation.

“So what, you’ve been plotting to kiss me?” she snapped, but Jason just rolled his eyes.

“No, first off, the kiss was more of an accident than anything… sort of. But I’ve just been wondering if kissing someone else would feel as good as kissing Jill.”

A faint smile appeared on his lips.

“I didn’t get any of the sensations kissing you that I get when I kiss her.” His tone was oddly satisfied. She remained quiet for a long moment giving him a strange look.

“Hold on, did you just say… You haven’t kissed anyone other than... You really haven’t kissed anyone but... Oh my god, you’re a virgin?!” It all suddenly clicked for her, her eyes bulging as she pointed the bat at him. “That explains so much, like… everything!”

It was like a light switch being flipped on in her head. Jason let out a sigh, but his smile stayed put. There was no point in denying it at this point.

“Yeah, I suppose in a way,” he admitted without hesitation this time.

“So Jillian was your first kiss?” she asked, her anger fully replaced with curiosity now. He gave her a small nod, not wanting to get into the semantics.

“It fuckin’ figures. I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out earlier. Probably because guys with muscles like yours are usually swimming in shallow bitches. Plus Jill hasn’t been around the shop as much. Stupid bitch ignoring me for a stupid meathead,” Mika muttered to herself as she paced around, clearly frustrated with herself. She stopped suddenly and turned back to Jason.

“So what does that mean? What the hell were you really trying to figure out by comparing us?” she growled a little, stepping closer and extending the bat toward him again threateningly.

“I was trying to figure out if these stupid feelings for her were real or just because they are new to me….” He paused a little as he thought about his next words carefully.

“The only thing I can say for sure anymore… is I don’t think I’m ready to give up on this craziness just yet,” Jason confessed, a smile still firmly in place, the pain in his junk finally lowering enough that he finally let go of his crotch.

Mika’s expression turned sour at his statement, but she eventually let out a long sigh.

“Geez, you two are a match made in heaven... or hell, I can’t decide. Both of you are the most stubborn bastards I have ever met and way too similar for your own good.”

Jason laughed in response.

“Hey, at least I’ve got your blessing,” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood. But Mika wasn’t ready to let things go so easily. She suddenly closed the distance and poked him in the chest with her bat.

“Oh, and if you ever even try to kiss me again, I swear I won’t just step on it. I’ll rip it off, fuck you with it, then shove it down your fucking throat,” she threatened, her tone dead serious.

Jason raised his hands defensively again. “I already told you, I wasn’t planning on it in the first place. I swear it won’t happen again,” he said, letting her have her moment before she lowered the bat.

“Alright, pick up your shit and let’s go.I need to check if the blanket hog is up yet,” she said, referring to Jillian, as the two gathered their gear and exited the room.

They stopped for a bit to clean up in the bathroom. Mika grabbed the first aid kit so Jason could treat some of the deeper cuts he got. When they eventually left the building, he couldn’t help but think of something rather pressing while she was locking the door.

“Hey Mika, you’re uh not gonna tell Jill about that kiss, right?” His voice betrayed a hint of fear. As she finished locking up, she turned to look at him, shooting him a glare before silently heading to the passenger side of her small hatchback.

“Mika... Come on, you wouldn’t do that, would you?....Mika?” Jason could feel a cold sweat forming as she got into the car without saying another word.

Jillian slowly woke up from her deep sleep, her hair all over the place as she sat up groggily. With her eyes half-open, she glanced around the dim, windowless room.

“Mika…?” There was no answer to Jillian’s call.

She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair out of her face, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. For a moment, the thoughts from yesterday once again played out in her head and a deep scowl creased her face. She took a deep breath to battle back the tears. A burning, overly dry sensation in her throat came to her attention. She desperately needed water. Her head was dizzy and her mouth was dry as a bone. She pushed herself out of bed, stumbled into the darkness until she found the door, and opened it to the glaring mid-morning sun peeking through the curtains.

“Mika?”

Her raspy voice croaked out again as she blinked against the brightness, once again met with silence. She shuffled over to the bar, dressed in nothing but yesterday’s bra and g-string panties. The pantyhose had shredded from her frantic run and had to be thrown away. Her bandaged feet still burned with each step. There was no way she was getting back in the blouse and skirt she had on yesterday. Even if she knew where they were. She moved behind the bar and grabbed the soda tap, pressing the water button with the nozzle to her lips as she chugged as much as her empty stomach could take.

After gulping down her fill of water, Jillian felt a chill sweep through the large brick building. Teeth chattering, she dashed over to a couch and grabbed a throw blanket wrapping up in it. Still shaking from the cold, she made her way toward the stairs, opening the door to the stairway. It was Sunday, which was usually the busiest day for the tattoo parlor. The sound of voices and the buzz of tattoo guns echoed up the staircase.

She was stuck in the apartment for the moment, not that she was really in the mood to go anywhere anyway. So she closed the door and headed over to the couch to sit down, flicking on the TV, hoping for a distraction. Yet, every little thing seemed to bring him and her failures to mind. Curling up into a ball, she hugged her knees close and fell to the side, trying to find some comfort in her despair.

Jillian was back to feeling worthless and broken, yet again.

“Why didn’t I just stop and let him talk… I constantly tell him to be open with me yet I didn’t let him. Why can’t I just think before I speak for once?!” Her brain felt like it was on fire.

Maybe things could’ve been different, but what was the point of dwelling on it now? It was over for them. She was sure he wanted nothing to do with her after the comments she made.

She couldn’t shake off these feelings. She would probably just mess things up again even if she got another chance. It was as she hit her lowest point that she remembered something he told her.

“You drive me crazy, but I don’t think you are broken.”

She had to force herself not to smile at the memory. Those words had meant so much to her. They had given her hope, a dream for herself and maybe even for them. Lost in her thoughts, a voice suddenly called out.

“I want you!”

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest at how loud it was. Looking around the room frantically, it quickly became clear it was just some overly loud TV commercial as the voice continued.

“That’s right! I want you to come on down to Bill Schmit’s used car emporium we got-...”

She quickly shut off the TV in anger.

“Fucking Bill Schmit,” she muttered before covering her head with the blanket.

A few minutes later, a more familiar voice called out.

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.”

Jillian sat up and looked over towards the stairs as Mika entered the apartment.

“Mika!” Jillian quickly got to her feet, wincing slightly but keeping the blanket wrapped around her tight before rushing over to hug her friend.

“I woke up, and you were gone. Where did you go?... Yuck, why do you stink like sweat and dirt?” Jillian wrinkled her nose slightly, feeling like she was going to sneeze from the bit of dirt and dust on the other woman. She stepped back to get a better look at her friend with mild suspicion.

“I had some stuff to take care of. My life doesn’t revolve around you, bitch.” Mika’s tone was rather evasive, which only made Jillian even more suspicious.

“Uhh, yeah it does, and what stuff?” Jillian teased as Mika walked past her, shedding her oversized sweater which scattered particles of dirt onto the hardwood floor.

“Mika... What did you do?” Jillian’s voice trembled slightly, as a hint of worry crept into her expression.

“I took care of some business. That’s it, so settle down,” Mika said casually, moving behind the bar. Mimicking Jillian’s actions from earlier, she helped herself to a drink straight from the tap.

“Mika!” Jillian shouted as she darted towards the bar.

“What did you do!?” Her voice rose slightly in alarm, but Mika just chuckled, wiping her mouth with the long sleeve she was wearing under her sweater.

“Oh, chill the fuck out, Jill. You’re acting like I’ve committed a murder or something. Hehe.” The mischievous grin on her face and evil laugh didn’t exactly ease Jillian’s concerns at all.

Jason looked around him as he stood outside his bedroom window. When the coast was clear, he quietly opened and slipped back into his room through the window. Mika dropped him off and he was hoping to get a small nap in before he had to leave to go take care of important matters. It wasn’t until he was halfway through the window that he realized his room wasn’t empty. His entire body froze when he saw his mother sitting on his bed, holding a screwdriver and looking very upset.