Toxin

“What…?”

The only sound I could hear was incomprehensible. When I didn’t understand, Naro hit his chest and jumped up.

“Oh, come on! You’re really going to deny it?! You, you know! Last night you were running around the palace completely naked?!”

“…!”

Naro’s shout was more shocking than a bolt from the blue. His agitated voice poured out like a waterfall.

“Wow… really…! You went around the palace naked last night and caused a commotion! You were hugging trees and making incomprehensible noises, and the guards, maids, and bodyguards all came out to watch; it was utter chaos! I thought I was going to lose my waist, which I hadn’t even used to its full extent before! Do you still not remember this?! Should I believe this or not?!”

“…”

For a moment, I thought it might be quiet, but it seemed like the sleepwalking ghost had returned. I knew very well what my state must have been like from Sufia’s incessant descriptions. My whole body was burning up, to the point where I felt like I would catch fire.

“I’m sorry. I… I’ve had a strange illness for some time…”

Naro waved his hands vigorously and looked at me with a serious expression.

“That’s not the issue right now! I’m telling you this because His Majesty saw that sight…!”

“…!!”

In an instant, my blood drained away. I hoped my ears had made a mistake…

“What… what did you just say? His Majesty… Are you talking about the Black Martial Emperor?”

“Then is His Majesty also at Naragaon Fortress?! You know, His Majesty saw everything! What are you going to do now?!”

Dizziness struck me so intensely that everything seemed to sway. I couldn’t stay calm. The Black Martial Emperor saw it… Could it really be… At that moment, cold sweat ran down my back from Naro’s words.

“Do you know what His Majesty’s expression was like when you were hugging the tree naked? I’ve never seen such a frightening face in my life! It’s awkward to say this, but he looked at you as if you were some kind of bug, his anger reaching all the way to his head, and he even tried to cut you in half with his sword! But, but do you know what you did at that time?!”

Naro suddenly grabbed my legs and started to cry.

“You were hugging the tree like this~ and then looked at His Majesty like this~ saying ‘cold… cold…’! And you even had tears streaming down your face! Do you really not remember this?”

Of course, I couldn’t possibly remember. If I could remember, I would never have done such a thing…! My fingertips felt like ice. Naro shook his head, as if he didn’t even want to think about it.

“His Majesty was standing there with a face like a demon, the bodyguards just watched without trying to stop you, and I begged for forgiveness! I thought I was going to be completely separated from you! But really, whether it was heaven’s help or what, His Majesty just left without saying anything…! Seeing a grown man sitting around naked must have been so absurd to His Majesty…!”

Naro looked at me with concern as I sat there, barely holding on.

“What are you going to do now? Really, do you not remember anything at all about running around naked? With tears in your eyes, looking at His Majesty like this~ saying ‘cold… cold…’? Do you really not remember?”

Naro vividly reenacted the situation, but I no longer wanted to see it. I didn’t want to know.

“…Yes.”

It was a relief that I didn’t remember.

The story Naro told me was shocking and horrifying, and I confirmed it several times, but nothing changed. Naro patted my shoulder and expressed deep sympathy. Then, in the afternoon, he headed to Veronjubille’s residence, looking even more miserable than I did. The first thought that came to me when I regained my rationality was, “Now everything is over.” Because someone who despises Imae more than a bug would never tolerate a monster causing such chaos in the palace.

It must have been since my mother became that way. From that day on, the strange symptoms that plagued me had neither a cause nor a remedy. According to Sufia, the only way to drive away the sleepwalking spirit was to let go of all the burdens on my heart. And there was only one way to do that.

As the appointed time for the Black Martial Emperor approached, I prepared the ritual tools and left the residence. I left my mother’s white horn in the room, anticipating a body search. Regardless of what awaited, I would face it head-on. As I stepped outside, the sun had already set behind the mountains. Passing concubines, enjoying the cool evening breeze, glanced at me.

“Look over there. That monster from last night…”

“Oh my, how disgusting…”

“He’s probably acting out because he wants to die. I heard the Imae Tribe met a terrible fate this morning…”

I hurried my steps, trying to close my ears to their comments. As I passed a corner of the palace walls, I overheard a group of officials muttering.

“His Majesty’s temperament is completely unpredictable.”

“Is this something that’s been going on for just a day or two? What’s going on this time?”

“No, it’s about the Imae Tribe that came recently. They were finally punished by His Majesty.”

At the officials’ words, I straightened my ears.

“Punished? So, are you saying His Majesty killed the remaining members of the Imae Tribe? Why?”

“This morning, the Imae Chieftain came to bid farewell to His Majesty, and we thought it would go smoothly. But then, one of the Imae members, trying to convey gratitude for His Majesty’s grace, ended up touching His Majesty’s body while bowing. And just like that, his hands and neck were severed by His Majesty’s sword.”

“His hands and neck? What about the Chieftain?”

“Oh, the Chieftain was fortunately let go. Well, the dead one might feel wronged, but the one who touched His Majesty’s body was foolish.”

What a madman. That’s the only way to describe it. They killed someone just because he touched His Majesty’s body? The death of a tribesman who sacrificed me to save his own life didn’t particularly sadden me. Since my mother’s death, I would probably be indifferent to anyone dying in front of me. Anyway, did it mean that the Chieftain had left the palace? There were only about fifteen days left until the first contact. If he survived until then, we would meet again. The officials, crossing the courtyard, noticed me standing by the roadside and frowned.

Upon arriving at the Dragon Hall, I found guards stationed at both sides of the entrance. Entering through the side gate, I saw a luxurious palace with annex buildings everywhere. The pillars, supporting structures much larger than their own size, and the platinum doors with animal patterns showed the opulence of Naragaon Fortress. Passing through the well-maintained courtyard, I walked along the endless corridor.

Suddenly, my reflection appeared in the mirror-like platinum doors. Having missed several meals, my collarbones and forearms were protruding, and my face was pale. Then, I noticed the dark purple eyes and the white horns on either side of my head. I had promised that I would make it so that no one would recognize me as a member of the Imae Tribe… Since covering my eyes would make it inconvenient to draw, I thought I should do something about these horns.

I first took a section of my long side hair and wrapped it around one of the horns. The length and volume of the hair were enough to cover the horn completely. With no suitable string to secure it, I managed to twist the hair and pull it through. The hair that stuck out wobbled with every movement of my head. After securing it tightly so it wouldn’t fall off, I covered the other horn in the same way. Exhausted from the effort, my back was sweaty and my breathing was labored.

Excited eyes… Yes, perhaps it might have looked like that. All I had in my mind was one thought. The women desperate to catch the Black Martial Emperor’s eye would be everywhere, so any hint of temptation would be quickly detected. I had no tricks up my sleeve. However, I would not be easily discerned.

I quickened my pace. Entering the inner palace and approaching the central room, I saw a fleshy minister chatting with the palace maids. As I approached quietly, the minister’s eyes, buried in flesh, turned unfriendly.

“I’ve never seen such a thing in my life…! His Majesty’s kindness spared you this time! You should be grateful just to be alive!”

They were indeed talking about last night’s incident. The glares I received on my way here were enough to make me feel as though my whole body had holes in it.

“Please announce that I have come to paint His Majesty.”

The minister puffed out his cheeks and acted haughty.

“Hmph! His Majesty must be very tired today, so you should leave.”

“But I was asked to come today.”

“Why starve yourself needlessly when they won’t even acknowledge it? It’s all for survival anyway, so don’t bother with useless things. Just bring some dinner. Today’s meat soup is refreshing.”

“Those guards…!! I can’t stand any of them!! There’s not a single thing I like about them!!”

The minister, referred to as the Grand Chamberlain, grabbed the back of his neck and spat out angrily. The Grand Chamberlain shot a glare at me and the guards, then entered through the door. The guards, enjoying a leisurely meal, took their places under the pillars.

They were all wearing white ceremonial robes and armed. The tallest and largest of them stood aloof, merely listening to the conversation with a brooding expression. The second tallest had a youthful, energetic look, with a spirited and ambitious gaze. The last one, with a refined appearance, seemed to have quite a temper, but his slender body and looks made him seem the least suited for the position of a guard. All of them had faces devoid of emotion, with a uniform yet distinctively different aura.

When I bowed in greeting, they responded half-heartedly, except for the brooding one who gave a slight nod. The merchants from last night must have seen that scene… I avoided looking at the smooth floor and made eye contact with the refined guard across the wide hall.

“See? I told you they would call you in.”

The refined guard gave a strange smile and muttered something incomprehensible. Seeing that smile—though it looked somewhat forced—made my facial muscles tense up involuntarily. After a while, the Grand Chamberlain appeared, tilting his head and glaring at me.

“Come in.”

My heart raced. After a thorough body search by the sentry and a signal was given, the first door opened. Then the next door, and the next, until the final door was opened, the Grand Chamberlain’s voice became stern and authoritative.

“Whatever you see or hear, you are blind and deaf. You must not let anything out of this room except for your body and the things you brought with you.”

“Yes.”

With a clatter… the sliding doors opened on both sides, revealing the interior through the open space. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I walked inside.

As soon as I entered, I looked for the owner of the room. Directly across, in a separate chamber draped with red and transparent fabric, was a bed adorned with intricate designs. Lying on it was the Black Martial Emperor. He was stretched out languidly, eyes closed and unmoving. I approached quietly, set up the ritual tools, and bowed deeply until my forehead nearly touched the floor.

“I have come to paint His Majesty’s portrait.”

An eerie silence filled the air, resonating with my voice. I bowed again to the unresponsive figure.

“Portrait…”

“The Imae Tribe is different from what I knew. They are much more brazen and repulsive than I thought.”

The sudden voice made me freeze, still in my bowing position. The Black Martial Emperor’s eyelids slowly lifted, and his dark eyes pierced like daggers. His eyes were filled with disgust, contempt, and clear malice. Despite my will, sweat trickled down my temples.

“I apologize. I have had this illness since childhood. It is usually manageable, but I heard that symptoms show up when I am extremely tense or exhausted. What’s even more regrettable is… I have no memory of such things. I will make sure it doesn’t happen again…”

“Repulsive Imae Tribe, mongrels, and now this strange illness.”

The harsh words poured out without filter. I knew that apologies would be useless, so I prepared to listen to whatever he had to say. Suddenly, the Black Martial Emperor’s gaze lingered briefly on my head before slowly closing his eyes again. That was the end. This unexpected reaction was quite unsettling compared to the anticipated outcome of either being struck or shot by Jincheonroe’s bullets.

What could be the reason behind this…? Neither last night’s incident nor this one matched my expectations. Of course, it might not be a bad misjudgment for me. But surely behind this facade of indifference, there was another cruel game being devised. I remained tense, wary of when he might reveal his hidden claws.

I spread the 2-fold canvas on my lap and secured the edges to keep the paper from curling. I took out the charcoal wrapped in white cloth. Today, I planned to draw the preliminary sketch. I hadn’t had time to study the portrait in depth. What I knew about it came only from books I had read on the way here. The kings depicted in those books were all seated on thrones in their ceremonial robes. But here was the Black Martial Emperor sprawled out without any ceremonial attire. Even if not in formal robes, I had to make him sit at least.

“Well then, I will begin the portrait now.”

The Black Martial Emperor remained with his eyes closed, showing no sign of waking.

“Please turn your body…”

Once again, there was no sign of movement from him.

“If you have granted permission… please cooperate.”

“Let’s see if you can make me cooperate.”

The response was sharp, and it was clear that it wouldn’t be easy. Of course, someone who treats the Imae Tribe like filthy insects would find this much of a challenge a miracle. The Black Martial Emperor’s breathing gradually became more regular, as if he was in deep sleep. He was clearly treating me like an object, a piece of furniture or a decoration. I felt suffocated compared to his relaxed demeanor. My hands trembled with the urge to stab his solid neck muscles and tear through his flesh. I gripped the brush tightly, and it bent dangerously as if about to break.

No, I can’t let him die so easily. I must return the pain my mother endured several times over, but I keep forgetting this resolve. I relaxed my grip and set the brush down. Completely cut off from communication, I gave up and looked around the room. The spacious interior was filled with luxurious antique furniture and decorations. Though it seemed perfectly arranged, it also appeared wild with an underlying chaos. Among the books piled in disarray, one book stood out. It was carelessly placed on the edge of the bed where the Black Martial Emperor was lying, and it contained hastily scribbled notes. I read the text without thinking.

Were these describing approximate lengths and shapes…? The short lines of text seemed like notes written whenever something came to mind. I had no idea what they meant or what they were describing. One thing was clear: these unfamiliar objects definitely did not exist in the world. Perhaps they were ideas sketched out to be turned into actual weapons later. And then, they would look for targets to test these weapons on, wiping them out with apparent delight.

Suddenly, a sharp twist in my stomach caused a wave of nausea. I had eaten nothing today. Naro had suggested a meal at lunch, but white rice and miso soup were not appealing to me, as I primarily ate raw meat. It was like asking a starving person to eat raw meat. As if to punish me for not being given food, my insides twisted in excruciating pain. I bit my lower lip until it bled and stifled my groans. I fixed my gaze on the sleeping profile of the Black Martial Emperor, his side facing me. The unrelenting malice made my vision blur. I picked up the charcoal and moved my hands slowly. The scratchy noise filled the empty room.

The paper, the charcoal dancing on it, the stillness of time, and me within it. How long has it been since I was completely absorbed in drawing? When drawing the leisurely cow, I became a cow in the muck; when drawing the quaint stone path, I became stones hugging each other, and the moss in between; and when drawing Hanaru Mountain, I became a mountain changing its appearance with each season.

And now, I had become an iron pillar exceeding 7 characters, a foundation stone, and a flame-spitting weapon from the realm of imagination that did not exist in this world. For someone who had only worked with visible objects, creating a form from a single line of text was an incredibly complex and difficult task. Yet it drew me in all the more.

Suddenly, the book in front of me was roughly taken away. The sensations I had poured into the drawing hadn’t yet returned, causing my thoughts to be disordered. I looked up at something elongated. The Black Martial Emperor, with his disheveled appearance, was holding the book he had just snatched away. His blood-chilling gaze pierced through his tangled hair.

“Who told you to touch it with your filthy hands?”

I blinked, unable to answer immediately. I must have been completely absorbed, forgetting where I was. As I straightened up, a wave of dizziness hit me. I wiped my sweat-soaked face with the back of my hand and cleaned the charcoal stains on my hands with my pants. Filthy hands? Annoyance flared at his words. Suppressing my rising anger, I said,

“I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just curious and didn’t realize…”

The Black Martial Emperor’s gaze fell on the paper beneath my knees, and his sharp eyes widened slightly. On the four-wheeled cart were a sleek iron pillar, a base mounted underneath, and a round cannon that spewed flames and exploded with fire. And on either side of the cart, flags bearing the Baedal Kingdom insignia. The text I had read earlier was now depicted on the paper as a rather detailed weapon.

The Black Martial Emperor pulled the corner of the paper and examined the drawing intently. Though I couldn’t see his expression behind the paper, he stayed focused on the drawing for a long time. After a while, the paper, which had been blocking our view, was slowly lowered. His expression, devoid of emotion, was directed at me.

“Did you draw this yourself?”

“Yes.”

He stared at me intensely before throwing the book in front of me. He then pointed to a specific spot with his foot. I looked at the spot he indicated. Was he asking me to draw that? Before I could ask anything, the Black Martial Emperor sprawled out on the plush bedding and began to inspect my drawing, holding it between his fingers. His previously lazy eyes now sparkled with intense interest. What had started as a mere way to pass time had turned into an unexpected gain. I decided to fulfill my duty while I was at it.

“When will the portrait of His Majesty…”

“Start with that.”

“It will take quite some time since there aren’t any detailed descriptions.”

“I don’t care about the time. But if you don’t do it right, I’ll finish what I almost did to you last night.”

His sharpened gaze was directed at me. He did say he was going to chop me up last night… Whether it’s the portrait or anything else, as long as I could get close, nothing else mattered. I read the part he pointed out. It was just one line, so memorizing it was nothing, but the real problem was drawing something so vague. I spread out a spare sheet of paper, wiped the sweat from my palms on my pants, and gripped the charcoal.

“I will draw what is in Your Majesty’s mind, but in return, please cooperate a little when it comes to drawing the portrait.”

His thick eyebrows rose.

“Are you trying to strike a deal with me using your inadequate drawing?”

“How could I possibly make a deal with Your Majesty? Just sit still, and I’ll take care of the rest…”

The Black Martial Emperor fell silent again, staring at me. His dark eyes moved slightly, glancing from my head to my feet. Only then did I recall the ridiculous hairstyle with my twisted horns. As annoying as it was, I had no choice. It was to cover the eyes and horns you despise so much… I lowered my violet eyes to hide them. The Black Martial Emperor inspected my drawing again. Every moment spent dealing with someone so unreadable felt like walking a tightrope, and I had to be just as desperate. As I moved my hand to hold the charcoal again, a loud noise came from outside as the door burst open. A high-pitched voice shattered the silence.

“Mama Veronjubille! The court painter is drawing His Majesty’s portrait…!”

“It’s time to stop since I’m here.”

“But, Mama…!”

“Get out of my way before I punish you! Garon, Your Majesty~!”

The door opened, and Veronjubille, adorned in lavish attire, entered. She passed me and immediately threw herself onto the chest of the Black Martial Emperor, who was reclining on the bed. A thick scent of musk assaulted my nose. Veronjubille, having taken great care in her appearance, sensually caressed her red lips with her fingers as she cast a seductive glance at the Black Martial Emperor.

“Your Majesty, you were so passionate last night. Why haven’t you come to see me at all today?”

“I just woke up.”

The Black Martial Emperor responded indifferently, his eyes still fixed on the drawing. When he didn’t turn his gaze to her, Veronjubille lightly snatched the paper from his hand and replaced it with her face.

“Your Majesty, why do you let your gaze be stolen by such strange drawings when you have a perfect painting right here?”

The Black Martial Emperor’s black eyes moved lazily to look at her. That was all. Veronjubille’s face instantly turned pale, as if she were frightened. As the Emperor’s attention returned to the drawing, Veronjubille’s stiff expression softened, and she let out a small breath. She then pursed her lips slightly and, only then, looked at me.

“So, you’re the new court painter, huh? Let me see what you’ve drawn today. Show me your skills.”

I bowed my head and replied, “I haven’t drawn anything today.”

“Why not?”

“His Majesty was too tired, so I couldn’t…”

“If you know he’s tired, you should know to leave. Why are you still sitting here? His Majesty already despises the Imae Tribe… Anyway, enough. You may go.”

“Yes.”

Now that the cherished concubine he adores so much had arrived, it was time for me to disappear. As I gathered the scattered materials from the floor and stood up, a sudden dizziness overtook me, and my legs gave out, causing me to collapse. I hadn’t even had a proper meal, and after spending hours pouring my energy into drawing, I must have been completely exhausted. Struggling to steady my trembling body, I barely managed to bow.

“I’ll… come back tomorrow.”

The lavishly entwined pair in front of me didn’t spare me a glance. The disheveled Black Martial Emperor and Veronjubille looked like they were ready to roll around on the bedding at any moment. I began to back away.

“So stiff…”

Veronjubille’s voice clung to my back. Is that so… Am I stiff? That won’t do. As Orumun said, I was supposed to be a filthy Mongrel who devours men. I needed to mix with this killer as soon as possible. Only then would his blood dry, his flesh rot, and I would be freed from the nightmare… I swallowed the bitter saliva pooling in my mouth.

Dragging my feet, I made my way to the first door, but for some reason, the doorknob appeared to multiply. I focused my eyes and tried to grab it again, but the number of doorknobs only increased. And then it happened. My vision spun, and everything swayed wildly. In that moment, I thought, “The Black Martial Emperor must have impulsively stabbed me from behind and gouged out my eyes.” My eyeballs must have floated into the air, and everything I saw was now swaying because of that. Otherwise, there’s no way the world could be spinning this much…

Thud…!!

With a loud crash, my body collapsed to the ground. The art supplies I had been holding scattered everywhere. My loose hair, spread across the floor, looked like a pool of spilled blood.

“What the—why is he collapsing like that…?! Is there no one here?!”

Veronjubille screamed, and the door swung open as the Grand Chamberlain appeared.

“W-what’s happening?! An assassin! Has an assassin broken in?! Guards! Where are the guards?!”

“No, it’s not that! That boy just suddenly collapsed. Hurry and drag him outside!”

The Grand Chamberlain spotted me lying there and grabbed my clothes.

“You insolent thing! Do you know where you are, lying down like that?! Get up! How shocked must His Majesty be?!”

“I… apologize… I’m just… a little dizzy…”

I wanted to get up, but my exhausted body wouldn’t even let me move a finger. Even my drenched hair felt as heavy as a mountain. I forced myself to muster what little strength I had left and managed to lift my upper body. I staggered weakly, and just as I collapsed again like a drenched rag, a hand suddenly grabbed my arm and yanked me up roughly. It was a hand with no hint of kindness. My disoriented head slammed into something as solid as a wall. A startled voice rang in my ears.

“Y-Your Majesty! We can handle this, so please don’t dirty your noble hands! This, this wretched creature! How dare you cling to His Majesty’s sacred body?!”

Cling…? To what…? I couldn’t immediately understand the Grand Chamberlain’s words. I forced my heavy eyelids open. A dragon, hidden within the black silk of his robes, was glaring at me. The fierce gaze of the beast brought me back to my senses. Suddenly, I felt eyes on my forehead.

“A filthy Mongrel, struck by a strange illness, and weak on top of that.”

The low, emotionless voice, a solid jaw, and cold lips floated before me. My eyes had completely lost focus, and my lifeless pupils were trembling erratically. Like a puppet with its strings cut, my hand was resting on his chest. I let my head slide down, burying it deeply into his solid neck.

“Haa… haa… Forgive me… Your Majesty.”

My lips, moving weakly, brushed against his neck. He froze for a moment, then tore me away, throwing me violently to the floor. Through my blurry vision, I could see the Black Martial Emperor, looking disgusted as if I had dirtied him. I couldn’t remember what he had tried to do when I had wandered naked through the palace, possessed by a nightmare. Nor could I recall the fate of the tribesmen who dared to lay a hand on him.

“Who allowed this half-dead thing to be sent here?! Hurry! Get this wretch out of my sight!”

“He’s practically a corpse! Why are you just standing there? Drag him out already!”

The Grand Chamberlain and Veronjubille shouted in unison. I barely managed to prop myself up on the floor, raising my upper body.

“I… can go on my own…”