Toxin

“To… draw your portrait. To swear loyalty to the Baedal Kingdom…”

“Let’s just say that for now.”

The Black Martial Emperor mechanically pulled up one corner of his mouth.

“I heard you have a special connection with Raonhiljo. I didn’t expect you to actually be a painter.”

“…”

Had he confirmed this with Raonhiljo? It was a bit surprising. I had only assumed he looked down on us, never imagining he would doubt my ability as an artist. He was someone who pretended to be lazy but suddenly struck when least expected, stabbing deep into your insides. If he wasn’t a carefree wastrel, he might just be a disturbingly cunning individual. But why did he call me here? His dark, brooding gaze was incredibly unnerving. If, by any chance, I ended up dying here without anyone knowing, I wouldn’t be entering the afterlife alone. My fists trembled, as though they would break.

My neck was bent back to the point where I had to suppress a cough. The tight grip on my injured arm and the searing pain on my scalp made my eyes burn. The Black Martial Emperor stared at me with his emotionless black eyes. Slowly, his lips parted.

“Fine. Let’s say I’ve gone mad for a moment. Or maybe I’m possessed by a ghost, or perhaps I’m just under some kind of spell.”

The Black Martial Emperor muttered to himself, scanning my eyes. I couldn’t make any sense of what he was saying, so I sharpened my focus.

“If the portrait even slightly displeases me, I’ll use you to test Jincheonroe’s abilities.”

Thump, thump… My heart pounded like a river in flood. Did I hear that right? Or is he just talking nonsense…? If I didn’t mishear him, he just… He just gave me permission to draw his portrait. The situation was so unreal that I couldn’t think clearly. Struggling to keep my body from collapsing backward under the pressure of his grip on my hair, I barely managed to speak.

“Then… when should I start… ugh…!”

Before I could finish speaking, the Black Martial Emperor ruthlessly wrenched my head back. The degrading posture filled me with rage and humiliation, and I fought to keep the anger from showing in my eyes. My blurred vision focused on his dark eyes, glaring down at me.

“I’ll warn you. Whether you’re drawing or doing anything else, if you dare to look at me again with those disgusting, lust-filled eyes, I’ll gouge them out cleanly.”

His voice was utterly devoid of emotion.

“Just like you’re doing right now.”

His degrading grip remained firmly tangled in my hair. I stubbornly lowered my eyes. Through my long lashes, I glimpsed his strong neck. The fierce dragon embroidered on his imperial robe twisted and glared back at me, as though piercing through me with its warning. When I dared to look back up, the killer’s dry, expressionless face awaited me.

“When should I begin…?”

“Every third and fifth day of the week, at the hour of the dog.”

“Yes.”

My head was pulled so far back that saliva pooled in my throat. The killer’s gaze, which had brushed over my lips, rose to lock onto my eyes.

“If you understand, then get lost. Mongrel.”

***

After passing through several layers of doors… Thunk. A sound marked the end of the long ordeal, and I nearly collapsed as my legs gave way. Forcing strength into my legs, I retrieved the belongings that had been confiscated by the guards. Leaving the palace, I exited through a side gate on the left. The scorching midsummer sun beat down intensely, making my eyes sting.

“Haa…”

Dizzy, I leaned against the wall. Every time I faced the Black Martial Emperor, my patience and energy were drained to the core. This won’t do. I’m not even halfway through my journey. Blood seeped from the arm he had gripped, staining my white jacket. Lust-filled eyes… The absurdity of it made me chuckle. I had heard of someone being accused of having a piercing gaze, but this was the first time it had happened to me. This man clearly couldn’t be judged by normal standards.

Just as I was about to start walking again after regaining some composure, a long shadow stretched over me, blocking the harsh sunlight. It seemed to take me quite a while to lift my head. And it took even more time to realize that the person creating this cool shade was Raonhiljo. Sweat beading on his forehead, Raonhiljo let out a long breath.

“You really know how to give someone a scare.”

He looked at me, his hand braced against the wall behind me, as if scolding the person who had made him rush here.

“I heard you were summoned for a battle. Do you know how shocked I was, thinking it was another hunting game?”

Honestly, I thought the same thing earlier. I suddenly noticed how striking his appearance was. His blue robe was draped loosely over one shoulder and arm, and the open front of his jacket was drenched in sweat. Had he run all the way here this morning? But why…? Looking at his carelessly disheveled sash, I spoke calmly.

“I’ve been tasked with painting His Majesty’s portrait.”

Raonhiljo looked more surprised than I expected.

“But just this morning, you said…”

“This time it’s real. In fact, His Majesty, the Black Martial Emperor, had originally allowed me to paint his portrait under the condition that Chieftain was responsible for it. But suddenly, he postponed it. I couldn’t tell you earlier because nothing was certain.”

“So it’s postponed again?”

It didn’t seem like he was the type to hide his feelings. His usually handsome features visibly hardened. I felt sorry, as it was partly thanks to him that I was able to paint the Black Martial Emperor’s portrait, but now it was being delayed again.

“I’m sorry. Although there was an unexpected complication, the original reason I came here was to paint His Majesty’s portrait, so somehow…”

“…”

“I can’t promise when, but could you wait just a little longer?”

Again, there was no response. Who am I to expect him to wait for me twice? This palace is filled with far more skilled artists than me. Besides, making promises to anyone in such unpredictable circumstances is meaningless.

“I’m sorry.”

I bowed deeply and started to walk away when a hand suddenly grabbed my arm. I turned my head to see Raonhiljo looking even more flustered than I was. No, it wasn’t quite flustered—it was more like disbelief.

“You’re leaving already?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of situation is this? Do you know who I rushed here for?”

As soon as he finished speaking, Raonhiljo grabbed my wrist and began walking, pulling me along. He belatedly adjusted his disheveled clothes. The warm, humid wind carried a faint scent of grass from him. I thought he might be wearing some kind of perfume, but it seemed to be his natural scent.

“I get sulky easily. Don’t look at me like that.”

I averted my gaze from his side profile. I tried to free my wrist from his grip, but it didn’t budge.

“Let go of me.”

“Just hold on until we reach that shade over there. You look like you’re about to collapse.”

Come to think of it, all I’d had to eat in two days was a bite of eungryong’s tail… Maybe that, combined with the hot sun, was making my vision blur and causing dizziness. Seeing me struggle to keep up with his long strides, he slowed down a bit.

“By the way, are you still staying in the livestock pens?”

I felt my face flush with embarrassment. Not only had the Black Martial Emperor mentioned the distinctive smell of the Imae Tribe as a constant joke, but I’d also been living in the livestock pens for a few days now, so I must’ve smelled awful. I pulled away from Raonhiljo.

“Do I… smell that bad?”

“It’s obvious that you smell, but since you’re not saying anything, I had to ask.”

“…”

Raonhiljo, who had been staring at me, slightly furrowed his brows.

“But are you eating properly?”

“Yes.”

“And the… eungryong?”

“… Yes.”

His expression twisted into an oddly pained look.

“Eating things like eungryong is why you’re not gaining weight. You look pale as a ghost.”

Suddenly, Raonhiljo lifted his hand and placed it on my cheek. As soon as his cool hand touched my skin, I flinched away as if it was burning me.

“It’s just that I haven’t had a proper rest for a few days.”

Raonhiljo looked at me for a moment, then turned his gaze away nonchalantly. However, my hand was still firmly held by him. Raonhiljo glanced around and called over a distant official. The official hurried over and bowed deeply.

“Take this person to a different residence. A proper room, if you will.”

“Y-Yes…?”

The official looked puzzled and glanced at me. It seemed they were surprised that someone from the Imae Tribe like me was being provided with accommodations within the Baedal Kingdom.

“But His Majesty the Black Martial Emperor…”

“I’ll explain to His Majesty Garon myself. For now, just take him to the gardeners’ quarters. The belongings will be in the livestock pens, so move them all over.”

“Understood.”

The official gestured for me to follow and led the way. I hesitated to follow him. His kindness felt burdensome, and I wondered if it was okay to handle things this way.

“Is it really alright for My Lord to handle it like this? I don’t mind where I stay.”

“I do care. I would like to take you there myself, but I’m about to collapse from drinking too much last night. Go now.”

Raonhiljo gently released my wrist and began walking away with slow, dragging steps. It seemed better to ask at least once… I turned to speak but hesitated, then finally said:

“If My Lord is okay with it, I can work on the portrait whenever I have time.”

“Were you not planning to do that?”

He waved his hand lightly as he walked away. Once he was out of sight, I turned and started walking, clenching and unclenching my hand. The warmth of another person’s touch on my hand felt strange.

***

The place the official led me to was a remote annex in the palace grounds, with several similarly constructed auxiliary buildings in the independent space. There was a small garden, a spacious hall, and the clear sound of bells from under the eaves. I was quite pleased with the charming scenery. The official stopped at a separate building right in front of the main gate and pointed to the door.

“From now on, stay in this room. There is one resident here, who is a bit odd but not a bad person, so just take care of the rest yourself.”

“Yes.”

After the official left, I quietly entered the room. As I put down my simple bundle, I noticed someone crouched in a dark corner of the room. The boy, who seemed to be around my age, didn’t even look at me but kept muttering to himself while swaying his upper body back and forth.

“Coming… coming… coming…”

As I quietly unpacked, the boy suddenly noticed me and flinched, his shoulders trembling.

“I-Imae?! A-a ghost! A ghost…!”

“…!”

I was equally surprised. The boy’s large, round eyes, slender face, and delicate features… His emaciated, pale appearance was so similar to my mother’s that it startled me. I couldn’t find words, and the boy, seeing my reaction, stepped back in fright. Then, as if resigned to everything, the boy broke into a wry smile.

“Now I’m even seeing illusions… I must be at the end of my rope. Ugh…!”

Suddenly, the boy sprang up and threw a screen set up at one side. The screen had a round knot at the end of the hanging fabric from the ceiling. The boy climbed onto the low table beneath the fabric, pushed his head through the round space in the fabric, and kicked the table away. Then, he revealed the whites of his eyes and began gasping for breath. It was an unmistakable attempt to end his own life.

“What are you doing?!”

I dashed forward and embraced the boy, who was dangling in mid-air. Using all my strength, I tried to clear his airway, but the boy began to thrash wildly.

“Gasp…! It’s real! It’s a real ghost! Cough! Cough! Help! Save me!!”

***

“I’m sorry. I was very rude on our first meeting.”

“It’s fine.”

The boy gulped down a bowl of cold water and looked at me with uneasy eyes.

“But I didn’t hear anyone was coming, and especially not someone from the Imae Tribe…”

“If you’re uncomfortable, I can ask for a different place to stay.”

As I stood up, the boy quickly pulled on my clothes, forcing me to sit back down.

“No! No! I can’t just kick out someone who saved my life!”

The boy looked extremely grateful, rather than resentful towards me for interfering with his attempt to die. I knew that trying to hang oneself was a desperate last effort of someone who wants to live.

“Thanks to you, I’ve finally seen a member of the Imae Tribe. By the way, my name is Naro. I’m twenty-four years old and have been with the painters for two years now!”

The fact that he was five years older than me was surprising. The boy who introduced himself as Naro looked much younger than his stated age of twenty-four. Although he was a man without horns or red eyes, he looked so much like my mother that I wondered if he was of the same bloodline. An awkward silence followed, and Naro cleared his throat.

“Anyway, if the other party has introduced themselves, it’s only natural for you to do the same. What is your name…?”

“Ah…”

A name… That’s right. It was one of the essential steps in getting to know a new person. But my mother, who would have given me a name, was no longer here. Perhaps my desire for a name had vanished along with her.

“I don’t have one.”

Naro blinked his large eyes in surprise.

“What? Why not? Any living being should have a name. Even a stone that gets kicked around has a name. You’re not joking about that, are you?”

“I really don’t have a name.”

“Wow~ It’s surprising enough that the Imae Tribe has come into the palace, but you’re even painting… A nameless painter! An unknown painter!! Actually, I recently took on the important task of painting Mama Veronjubille. Ah, she is the most favored person by His Majesty the Black Martial Emperor. But Mama’s personality isn’t exactly comforting…”

“How long has Mama Veronjubille been here?”

Naro, who had been chattering non-stop, suddenly sighed deeply.

“I don’t know the details, but she seems to have started as an ordinary palace maid and somehow caught His Majesty’s eye. The Emperor is so engrossed in warfare that he isn’t interested in bringing in a consort, but for now, Mama is considered the most likely candidate.”

Veronjubille is a prominent candidate for the Empress. If she’s at a position where she can reach such heights, it’s not good news for me either. It’s been proven that the Black Martial Emperor is not one to shy away from women, with over a hundred concubines under his command. But the issue is that he has no interest in male lovers.

“… What else could it be?! Anyway, Mama has already replaced so many painters that I can’t even count them! If a painting doesn’t please Mama, she tears it up right in front of you, throws teacups, and in severe cases, even cuts off fingers. I… I received a final notice from Mama Veronjubille yesterday. It’s getting closer… The time to face Mama is approaching…”

Naro shivered as if he were out of his mind. His face bore numerous small scars, and I was beginning to understand what he had muttered earlier. Naro scratched the floor with his fingers and spoke quietly.

“But you seem a bit different from the Imae Tribe I’ve heard about. They’re known to be fierce and eat raw meat… And you look a bit different too…”

“It’s because of mixed blood.”

“Mixed blood?! Wow~ How can you be so amazing?”

Naro’s eyes sparkled with admiration. I was slightly at a loss.

***

After the noisy first meeting, I went to wash up and found Naro collapsed as if ignoring reality. I organized my belongings in a suitable cupboard and, exhausted, leaned against the wall. The hunger that had not yet been addressed made itself known. I could almost feel the pain in my stomach and missed the eungryong I had left in the barn. Had the Chieftain left the castle? How many days had it been since I arrived here…

“Saturday and Sunday, drink time.”

A dry voice echoed in my mind like an auditory hallucination. Twice a week. Saturday and Sunday would be the next two days in a row. I recalled the luxurious castle I had seen during the day. I was in a space so different from that world. Even on the day my mother became like that, there must have been a festival with drunken revelry, choosing the next sacrificial offering, and crushing bodies to build a kingdom of murderers on that land. The abomination was him. He was worse than a beast.

“Coming… it’s coming…”

Looking down, I saw Naro grimacing and mumbling in his sleep. Having been here for two years, he probably had a rough idea of what was happening in the palace. If I tried to extract information too hastily, he would be wary of me, so I needed time to get close to Naro. But even aside from that, Naro felt different from the people I had encountered before. I covered Naro with the blanket he had kicked off and laid down a bedding on one side. I kept glancing at Naro’s face. Seeing the face so much like my mother’s asleep felt like a dream. A heavy pain settled in my chest.

There are days when the body and spirit feel disconnected. As if the soul sinks to the bottom and the body floats aimlessly…

Running desperately, I saw the village in the distance. The strong stench of blood in the wind made me dizzy. Thudding… The shaking that reverberated through the sky and earth, an endless column of black smoke rising. Countless bodies and spilled entrails creating a sea of blood. The flames shooting into the sky consumed the once peaceful village. I ran through the land, devastated beyond recognition. Among the smell of blood, the acrid odor of gunpowder stung my nose. As the angry flames engulfed me, I struggled amid the boiling heat.

It’s hot… hot…

Entering a small thatched house, I flung open the door to find a white and delicate face peacefully asleep. The once beautiful white skin was submerged in blood and undulating. The once clear red eyes were cruelly gouged out, staring at me. Breathing in barely like a piece of raw meat with pierced lungs.

The red-hot sky quickly turned into a frigid winter. The biting wind carved into my flesh, tearing my skin apart. Even trying to cover myself from the severe cold, the shivering didn’t stop. The frozen soul was swept away by the cold wave, and even the remaining body was drained of vitality.

When I opened my eyes, I saw a four-panel screen decorated with flowers and rocks. The wall had patches of grime, and the summer breeze blew through the gaps in the paper door, making the door rattle. Wondering why this wasn’t the barn, I sat up abruptly. It had been a long time since I slept in such a clean place, and I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. What time was it? Looking outside, it was still bright. I sighed. Today was the first day of painting the Black Martial Emperor’s portrait.

As I reached for clean clothes to change out of my sweat-soaked ones, I suddenly felt pain in the soles of my feet. Examining them, I found they were quite badly torn. Why… When I touched the wound, Naro entered the room. Naro looked startled to see me and took a position at a slight distance. He stared at me with half-closed eyes. Given the strange first meeting yesterday, I accepted it as expected. As I was unfastening my clothes to change, Naro suddenly stuck to the wall as if in a fit.

“You, you aren’t…?! I really didn’t think so. Hey~ Don’t do that! I liked you, but this is really confusing! I’ve heard of people with shameful illnesses like you, but I never thought I’d see it…! Well, since it’s already exposed, be honest about it! You saved my life, so can’t you understand that much?”