Toxin

Reaching out to grab her, I too lost my balance amidst the chaos. At that moment, someone landed on Cheongryeong and immediately pulled me up. From behind, Jincheonroe suddenly appeared and fired mercilessly towards Narsha. She dodged the bullets hastily but lost her grip in the process. Just as she reached out again, her body turned faster than her hand could react. The Black Martial Emperor wrapped his arm around her waist, holding Jincheonroe in one hand. A cold click echoed as the muzzle of a gun pressed firmly against her back. His voice, chilling enough to freeze the air, pierced through my ears.

“Do you want to escape that badly? Should I just kill you instead?”

His eyes, shining with pure madness, burned between his wet strands of hair. My nerves were on edge. The Cheongryeong we were riding on with the Black Martial Emperor was plummeting, about to crash into the top of the fortress. I thought we’d be shattered into pieces. But he absorbed the impact, rolling with me in his arms. The Cheongryeong, with its throat pierced, slammed into the castle wall and fell below. Narsha, who had been clinging to the belly of the Cheongryeong, quickly landed on the ledge.

The Black Martial Emperor roughly pulled me up and shoved me into a corner. As I gathered my dizzying vision, the kingdom engulfed in flames unfolded before me. We were at the very top of Naragaon Fortress. Just then, Raonhiljo approached rapidly, riding another Cheongryeong from the sky. He leaped off the Cheongryeong, aiming his gun as he strode forward. The Black Martial Emperor also swiftly raised Jincheonroe. At the same time, they pulled their triggers.

Jincheonroe, now soaked in rain, malfunctioned, losing its function after the last sound. The lull lasted only briefly. The Black Martial Emperor tossed Jincheonroe aside and drew his sword from his waist. Raonhiljo, also drawing his sword, spoke coldly.

“If someone’s death is the only way to end this vicious cycle, then let’s finish it now.”

Raonhiljo launched himself into the air. The Black Martial Emperor charged immediately.

Sparks flew as murderous intent collided at its peak, and the primal battle began. Their movements, drawing a circular pattern, created ripples in the raindrops, forming a space that was theirs alone. At some point, Unsa, who had been tracking Raonhiljo, landed on the ground. He quickly drew his sword and charged at Narsha. The sovereigns fought as sovereigns, the bodyguards as bodyguards, each locked in a desperate struggle.

The Black Martial Emperor lowered his torso, unleashing a flurry of strikes. Raonhiljo’s sword pressed in, aiming straight for the Black Martial Emperor’s heart. The Black Martial Emperor dodged the blow and then struck deep, targeting vital points. Where their blades scraped against each other, torn muscles bled. The defense and counterattacks continued, with killing blows aimed to sever the breath of the other.

Their movements were so fast it made my head spin. When Raonhiljo was pushed back, my heart clenched in fear. When the Black Martial Emperor was on the defensive, I hunched my shoulders as if my bones would break. Trapped in a storm of conflicting emotions, I could only follow the movements of these beasts. Raonhiljo, controlling his tempo, deflected and swung his sword, while the Black Martial Emperor swiftly maneuvered out of the blade’s path. They maintained a certain distance, cautiously observing each other while catching their breath. Raonhiljo’s eyes burned with pure hatred and anger.

“That’s just a form of paranoia. You want to turn that kid into something like Jincheonroe, don’t you? A trophy to sit quietly in a room, at your mercy.”

Raonhiljo caught his breath and continued.

“What you’re doing is nothing. At least that kid didn’t have those eyes before meeting you.”

The Black Martial Emperor’s gaze briefly flicked towards me before refocusing on his opponent. His lips twisted into a cruel smile.

“Then I guess we just didn’t communicate properly. Say what you want. The only time that kid will fall into your hands is when I decide to discard him.”

“You have no idea how sickening your arrogance is, do you? You think I’ll wait that long?”

With an icy smile, Raonhiljo charged again.

Their swords clashed in mid-air, showing their teeth to each other. Beneath the cold gleam of Raonhiljo’s blade, the Black Martial Emperor’s eyes flickered like a snake’s.

“No. You’ll wait patiently. You’ll be confined to the backroom, eating scraps and living as if you were dead. Just like you’ve always done.”

At the scathing provocation, Raonhiljo’s face twisted in a deep grimace.

From that moment, Raonhiljo’s relentless onslaught began. He swung his sword with the intent to cleave the Black Martial Emperor’s head in half. Each time his blade sliced through the air, it tore into the Black Martial Emperor’s skin, severing muscles and veins, spraying blood everywhere. As Raonhiljo pressed the attack, he spoke.

“Now, I’m going to put everything back in its place. Oh, did you know? I’m the only one who can give that kid a name.”

For a brief moment, a sharp glint of madness flashed in the Black Martial Emperor’s eyes.

The Black Martial Emperor swung his sword like a madman. There was no more subtlety or precision—only raw violence as he stabbed at vital points, trying to tear through flesh and organs. With every breath, every strike, their blades dug into each other’s vitals, gouging deeper and deeper. Like wild beasts, they tore at each other with nothing but primal instincts, dragging one another towards mutual destruction. The two warriors distanced themselves for a moment, only to charge fiercely at each other again.

Raonhiljo’s blade sliced through the puddle, piercing the Black Martial Emperor’s abdomen. The Black Martial Emperor’s blade slashed through the rain, burying itself in Raonhiljo’s throat. The intense impact caused them to stagger and lose their balance.

“……!!”

I let out a meaningless scream. The ground beneath me felt like it was collapsing. The blades, charged with murderous intent, twisted inside their bodies. Blood gushed violently from their wounds. In this space drenched in madness, the two men, like grim reapers, glared at each other, as if the only resolution between them was through death.

Huff… Huff… The shards of killing intent they unleashed pierced my throat and tore through my abdomen. Engulfed in tattered hallucinations, I barely managed to breathe. Once again, the blade, now smeared with flesh, raced toward the enemy. In that instant, as if in unison, both dropped their swords simultaneously. They staggered, attempting to pick them up again. The rain, mingled with blood, was dizzyingly crimson.

“Your Majesty—!”

“My Lord—-!”

Blood gushed from Raonhiljo’s mouth. Narsha urgently pressed down on the blood surging from Raonhiljo’s neck. The Black Martial Emperor stopped Unsa with just a glance, preventing him from approaching. Staggering, the emperor sat on the fortress wall. Wherever he walked, a gruesome trail of blood followed. I stared blankly at them, who seemed to have walked out of hell. Once a figure that stood in the warm sunlight, he was now a ghastly demon, drenched in blood. The two of them, who were once so different, now resembled each other, stained in blood. How did it come to this? How did we end up so far down this path…? Perhaps we were never meant to be in the same space. Were we fated to be fatal poison to one another…? I wanted to scream. Please… I want it to stop…

I stood at the precipice of a dizzying crossroad for a moment before I began to stagger to my feet. Like walking a tightrope, I approached the murderous demon. Raonhiljo, clutching his neck, grabbed my arm as he approached. His eyes threw countless questions at me. But in this moment, I was more resolute than ever.

“It will be over soon.”

Just as I hadn’t interfered in their battle, no one should intervene now. Narsha supported Raonhiljo and led him aside. Opposite them, I saw the murderous demon. Both he and I were drenched. We stared at each other, neither approaching nor retreating.

The sound of rain poured down…

The twilight radiated its most beautiful hues, and the sound of the rain echoed like a funeral dirge.

On a day like this, in a place like this, it was fitting to bring it all to an end.

Step by step… I walked toward the murderous demon. My body trembled, but my heart was calm. The demon, perched on the railing, stood immovable like an evil spirit in the middle of the torrential rain. Beyond his shoulder, the grand kingdom gaped like the very mouth of hell. In his current position, it would take only a small push to send him plummeting.

“Do you… feel pain? When you’re cut and bleeding like this… does it hurt?”

As I said this, I pressed my fingers firmly against the gushing wound in the demon’s abdomen. But merely pressing wasn’t enough to shake his robust body. I dug my nails deeper into the wound, ripping and tearing at the flesh. Blood dripped from my hand. The sensation of torn flesh and the stench of blood sent shivers through me. Only then did the demon grimace, clenching his teeth. I licked the blood from my fingers and savored the intense color staining my knuckles. The demon’s blood was sickeningly sweet.

“Do you remember all the people you’ve killed? For example… a soldier who guarded some place, a court maid from some faction, or perhaps someone from a certain race…”

The demon’s gaze slowly fixed on me. As expected, he was quick-witted. The demon had finally found the hidden meaning in my question. No, perhaps he had suspected it from the moment I first asked. Finally, he spoke.

“Have you ever torn the wings off a bug? Do you remember what the wings looked like or how its antennae were shaped?”

The demon added coldly.

“You wouldn’t remember something like that.”

I stared at his emotionless face. When I was young, I had once ripped apart a dragonfly without thinking. That day, my mother had whipped me so hard my legs bled, and I begged for forgiveness. I even made a grave for the dragonfly and prayed. But even then, just as now, the dragonfly’s suffering didn’t resonate with me. The demon had made it so easy for me to understand. A cold, broken laugh escaped my lips.

How did you end up like this?

“There’s a shabby old house in a remote part of Imae Village. It’s so decrepit you’d never forget it once you saw it.”

Raonhiljo’s eyes widened in realization. At the same time, the demon’s gaze shifted toward me.

“There was a woman who lived there. That day, she would have been waiting alone in a small room for her son to return. She was so ill that even in the middle of summer, wrapped in blankets, she shivered from the cold. Frail and small from her illness, but… she had beautiful eyes. And then one day… she died. Her hands severed, her eyes gouged out… she was brutally murdered by the hands of a demon for no reason at all.”

I had always wondered—what kind of expression would he make when I told him the truth? What would he say?

It was cold enough for my teeth to chatter. I forced the words out, staring at the demon.

“That woman… was my mother. My mother was one of the insects you trampled underfoot.”

For a brief moment, the demon’s black eyes wavered. As if he were recalling a faint memory, that small movement hit me with the force of a tidal wave.

“You really don’t remember?”

Even though I remember it so vividly…?

The silence was so oppressive that even breathing seemed impossible. The demon’s expressionless face finally parted its cruel lips. The first words he spoke weren’t an apology or a taunt.

“So that was your home, after all. That woman… she didn’t seem to resemble you much.”

His voice was chillingly mechanical. Perhaps it resembled emptiness. Whatever it was, the demon was, in that moment, merely understanding the hidden truth. Nothing more, nothing less. It was the moment he confirmed what I had dreaded to acknowledge. Yeah, what was I expecting from him…? Everything around me paled, and I felt dizzy. I clutched my chest, forcing out each word as if spitting blood.

“Do you know what it feels like when the blood drains from your body… when your heart is torn to pieces? Do you know what it’s like to be robbed of the night by specters and to wander like the living dead? Do you understand what it means to miss even the days when you lived as a male prostitute? Do you understand what it’s like to want to die but be unable to?”

I was only nineteen. I still needed my mother. No, maybe more than needing someone to lean on, I needed someone to rely on me. That’s why I spread my legs and endured the hellish life. But I couldn’t protect my tree. I let it be trampled, ripped out by the roots. My breath misted in the cold, and tears poured endlessly. The demon’s eyes darkened deeply.

“Tell me, what do you want? What do you expect me to do?”

I stepped closer to the killer. My lips trembled, drained of color.

“Bring them all back to life. Every single one, without exception.”

My mother, Raonhiljo’s mother, Naro… every life you’ve taken with those hands!

The killer’s eyes, soaked in twilight, seemed void of any emotion.

“You’re always testing me.”

In that moment, the fragile thread of my sanity snapped completely. My blood surged as if my brain was about to explode.

“Bring them back… bring them back… Fall to your knees before my mother and beg for forgiveness for the unforgivable sins you’ve committed! If you’re truly human! If you were born with a human shell, then at least pretend to be human…!!”

The excuse that “it’s just how you were born” is nonsense! It’s garbage! There’s no way one can take lives and feel nothing! I can’t be healed in any other way than through bloodshed. I’ll never again stroll under the spring sun. My life stopped at nineteen.

“Bring them all back! Every single one…!!”

I bit and clawed at the killer, tearing at the flesh. I cried out in agony, my heart breaking for the wreckage my life had become. I couldn’t even tell if it was me or the killer who was shaking. They should have kept treating me like nothing but a whore, spitting on me as a lowly being. Showing me any other side of them was a mistake. I should never have tasted the fruits they offered. The rain did nothing to cleanse the festering wounds within me.

“Bring them back…!! Bring them all back…!! Give them back…!!”

I hit and screamed until my limbs went limp. Even in the midst of my outburst, the killer remained unmoved, as if they’d lost all will to fight. Their dark, wet eyes finally settled on me.

“That feeling of blood draining, of your heart being torn into pieces…”

Their fingers brushed the wound near my chest, probing where I’d been shot.

“I’ve felt it once too.”

I gritted my teeth. What a sly bastard. This was nothing short of a cheap trick. I refused to avert my gaze. I was terrified that if I so much as blinked, something irreversible would happen in that fleeting moment. The killer’s deep, dark eyes were locked onto me, and their heartbeat, like their body, was slowly fading. As their heart grew quieter, mine raced faster. The strange, tangled feelings between us made me anxious, anxious to the point of madness.

‘That day, I was returning from Hanaru Mountain with your father… She collapsed as if it were a lie. It was so peaceful and quiet, it felt like she had simply fallen asleep…’

A chill ran down my spine. This couldn’t be the end. I had to make him kneel before my mother’s spirit. My whole body was caught between heat and cold. I pushed the words through my clenched teeth.

“Beg to live. Beg for your life because you’ve done wrong. I might give you an antidote if you do, who knows?”

The killer twisted their lips into a smirk. Stubbornly, they kept their mouth shut, their eyes unreadable.

I pounded my fists against this unyielding wall.

“Beg…!! Beg my mother for forgiveness…!! Kneel and apologize…!”

Please…

The killer was like the still surface of a pond, and the calm was suffocating. No, this couldn’t end like this…! My trembling hand reached for my horn. I was about to snap it in two when—

It was like moving through water. The killer wrapped their hand around mine, gripping both my hand and the horn. Slowly, they pulled my head closer to theirs. They bit my fingers where they touched the base of the horn, their lips sliding down to my temple, and whispered near my ear,

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Their voice, like a muffled echo from underwater, cast a spell on me. No… this couldn’t be… It wasn’t… Could it…? I wanted to confirm the question in my mind, but I couldn’t bear to look them in the eye. My wandering gaze finally met theirs in the air, where it locked.

You… knew…? You knew all along…?

The only thing that came back to me was my own breath hitting their cheek.

They sat there in the rain, still and unbreakable. So terrifyingly calm. My lips trembled uncontrollably.

“No… I can’t…”

…No… No… No…!! My head shook violently as if in a spasm. I reached for the dagger, intending to cut off the horn. What are you doing?! Do you want to die?! Someone grabbed my hand. Let go! Let go of me! I yanked my arm free, desperate. Stop it! Someone again tried to stop me like a bolt of lightning. I was unaware of anything else as I furiously severed the horn. Just as I broke it off, pain shot through me, as if my spine was being torn apart. It was agony like my nails were being ripped out, my skin flayed. Was this scream mine? Was this desperation in my hands even mine? I wished it was all some twisted dream brought on by a demon. My mother’s death, my encounter with the killer, and even this very moment. I crushed the horn with the hilt of the dagger, grinding it down. I swallowed the pieces and kissed them deeply into the killer’s throat, forcing it down. My tongue, wet with tears, intertwined with theirs. But they didn’t swallow. They didn’t move. They sat there, as if waiting for someone.

The killer’s black eyes, like dying embers, flickered with one last glow. In that final moment, everything burned. As I pressed my cheek against their neck, I could no longer feel their heartbeat, nor their warmth. Their desolate black eyes, like a final will, stared back at me. I gasped my last breath like a fish out of water. My heart shredded, my body torn apart. I couldn’t even tell if this pain was mine anymore. I wanted to melt away into the rain and disappear.

The rain poured down as if it was the end of the world. The burning sunset and the flaming city below unfolded before my eyes. That place, filled with so much disgust, sank into the rain. The kingdom, bathed in the dying sun, was heartbreakingly beautiful.

***

“…They’re painting the sky with color!”

Someone shook me vigorously, snapping me out of it. When I looked up, Sodong’s tanned face was right in front of me, waving his open hands back and forth.

“Geez! I knew you’d be spaced out again, Master. What’s the point of giving you persimmons so diligently if you’re just going to zone out?”

“…What did you say?”

Sodong grumbled at me, then put on a serious face again.

“Haewool painted the sky bright red! The mountains are red, the water’s red! I asked him if there’s any place in the world that looks like that, and he almost poked my eyes out!”

“Your eyes?”

I quickly checked Sodong’s eyes. He grinned smugly after tattling on his friend.

“Don’t worry. I closed them just in time before he could poke them. Anyway, please do something about him!”

My eyes fell on Haewool’s drawing, where everything was painted in bright red. Haewool’s face flushed even redder in response. Many of the children I taught, including Haewool, were orphans of the war. Haewool, a fifteen-year-old boy, had lost his grandmother, his only living relative, to soldiers from the Baedal Kingdom and had grown up under the care of others ever since.

“Is this the sunset staining the mountains and rivers?”

Haewool nodded slightly at my question. However, Sodong, ever the mischievous one, continued to grumble about not understanding. I looked around at the ten or so children gathered.

“When you’re drawing, you don’t have to stick to anything. If you start confining yourself to rules, your thoughts will be trapped, and once your thoughts are trapped, your hands will be, too. And that’s when it stops being fun.”

“Yessir…!”

Through the crack in the door, the sun was already setting. I looked back at the children.

“That’s enough for today.”

***

After the children left, I began tidying up the room. I was staying at Raonhiljo’s house, which was spacious and had several rooms, one of which I was using. This area was on the outskirts of the continent, where people from tribes that had lost their homeland to the Baedal Kingdom lived. After that incident, I woke up here, having been unconscious for days. As soon as I recovered, Raonhiljo had suggested that I teach painting, and I had readily agreed. Since then, I’d gathered the children in my room every two days to teach them painting and writing. It had been just over a month since I arrived here. Or maybe even less; I couldn’t really tell.

As I finished cleaning up, I noticed one child hadn’t left yet. It was Haewool. He was packing up his papers when he tripped over the doorframe and fell, scraping his skinny elbow, which quickly began to bleed. I helped him up, gathering the papers scattered on the floor. Among them, one drawing caught my attention. The picture showed a tall waterfall, with someone bathing naked underneath it. The drawing was crude, as Haewool was still learning, but the long hair reaching down to the hips, and the single horn on the head—it was unmistakably…

“This… looks like Naro.”

I stared at the boy in surprise.

“When did you—why did you draw this?”

“I’m… I’m sorry…”

Haewool snatched the drawing from my hand and hid it behind his back, blinking as if he were guilty of something. His small, frail frame made him seem pitiful.

“I’m not scolding you. I’m just curious why you drew it.”

After hesitating, he mumbled something unexpected.

“Because… you’re… beautiful.”

“What?”

“You’re… beautiful, Master. Your… body…”

“…”

I was speechless. The fact that a fifteen-year-old boy had secretly watched me naked and even went so far as to draw it left me unsure whether I should scold him or just laugh it off. As I awkwardly faced the boy, an arm suddenly reached out and snatched the drawing from his hands. Raonhiljo had appeared without warning. He narrowed his eyes at the drawing and then pinched Haewool’s cheek hard.

“This is confiscated.”

“Give it back…! It’s mine!”

Haewool jumped up and down, trying to get the picture back, but Raonhiljo, towering over him, held it out of reach. As the boy’s face flushed with tears, I spoke up urgently.

“My lord, please just return it. It is Haewool’s drawing, after all.”

“No. Maybe the paper’s his, but the figure inside it is mine.”

Raonhiljo spoke shamelessly, not a trace of embarrassment on his face. I glared at him and took the drawing, handing it back to Haewool. The boy, now deeply upset, slumped his shoulders and ran outside.

“Was I too harsh?”

Raonhiljo chuckled softly at the retreating boy. Then he lightly flicked my cheek with his finger.

“No matter how young the kid is, it bothers me. You really don’t have to bathe outside, you know.”

I stared at him seriously.