This S.O.B. System

“They’re ready for you,” Franks said from the door. Asher didn’t see it before, but she had an earpiece in. 

 

“Lead the way,” Asher said. 

 

“Your friend has been under suspicion for terrorist activities. He will not be allowed in,” she said shyly. 

 

Asher looked to Nadir. He looked offended. “You sell a few questionable items and you get marked a terrorist in this country,” he defended. 

 

Asher rolled his eyes. “Tell your bosses he’s my lawyer. And if an alien life form flew billions of miles to get here and called for them specifically, then they can decide who gets to attend this meeting or not.”

 

She put her hand up to her ear and began whispering. It wasn’t long before she turned and said. “Follow me.”

 

Nadir didn’t hide the wide smile on his face. Asher walked out of their room down the hall from the other. There had been some raised voices when Asher refused to pay for damages. He had witnesses that corroborated that he didn’t do it. For some reason a lot of people feared him. Eventually they pushed them to a new room. His interaction with Atalanta was refreshing. She didn’t seem as bad as people said. 

 

Asher, Nadir, and the guards headed down the hall to the elevator. Once inside they were stopped a few times by other people on different floors, but they locked eyes with the guards then Ash, and decided to wait for another elevator. Once in the lobby they were beset with uproarious yelling. Reporters littered the lobby floor but were held back by a line of military men. 

 

Flashes of cameras hit them but Asher kept an expressionless look on his face as he headed to the conference room. Inside there were men and women in suits and military uniforms. They stopped talking to one another to leer at them. The first to come up was Tim Leland from the news the night before. 

 

“Mr. Whitmore. What an honor it is to meet you. I’m so pleased you were able to contact our people so easily. I feared it would take days to get ahold of you,” he said. 

 

“Luckily I wasn’t in a dungeon, or else it would have,” he admitted, shaking the man’s hand. 

 

“Ah. Of course. Right,” he said. He was acting like that was the most normal thing in the world for Asher to say. “We were wondering how you’d like to handle this?”

 

“I’d like to ask the elf questions. I’ll plan to be here today. Maybe tomorrow. Then I’ll head back home until I leave planet I guess.”

 

“Oh Mr. Whitmore. That won’t work at all. We will have to do interviews. And we have loads of questions. And-“

 

“I’m gonna have to stop you there,” Asher cut him off. “You have today and tomorrow. And that’s it. I don’t want to threaten the government, but I will be leaving after that. If I have to go to some planet for who knows how long I will be spending every minute with my family.” He and Nadir had discussed this and setting ground rules would be the important thing or else he could be caught in some bureaucratic nightmare.

 

“Ok well-um we can talk about that later,” he said. “Let’s um. Get started.” Leland had begun sweating profusely. That’s when Asher saw him. He was on the other side of the room being bombarded with questions. Asher pushed through the people around him. 

 

“Tyranis,” Asher said, like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

 

“Ah Mr. Whitmore,” he said as the people around him parted. They were soon shaking hands. “Or is it Quentin?”

 

“Asher is fine.”

 

“So good to finally meet you.” Asher noted how much he looked like Lyola the elf Chieftess. A look at the symbol on his chest over his heart told him what he needed to know. But he had many more questions before that. 

 

“You as well. I was hoping you could answer questions for me,” Asher said. 

 

“Of course. I’m at your service until we leave planet.”

 

All eyes were on them. They were quickly led to 2 chairs that faced one another in the front of the room. There were 2 cameras set up facing either chair. The view from the cameras was projected overhead. The conference room was large but flat. He guessed they were recording everything. 

 

“This is my friend Nadir. I hope you don’t mind him joining us?” 

 

“Not at all. I would request non-System users hold off on questions until the end,” Tyranis said to the large room. Quickly another chair was set up behind Asher’s. Then another camera was set up to point at Nadir.

 

“Looks like I will be quite famous after this as well,” Nadir commented sadly, but he still sat down. 

 

“Tyranis, on the news it sounded like you have done this before. So how does it usually go?”

 

“Typically not all planets are as advanced as yours so I spend my time trying to find the Star System. They are usually quite famous, so it is easier than you would think. Consider my surprise when no one knew who you were. There have been a few advanced civilizations such as yours. We usually meet and chat.”

 

“Ok then let’s do that. I want to start with the Star System. The System has been saying star this and star that for months now. I don’t know what that means. I’m not sure if you know, but Porn Star on my planet is not the best title to have.”

 

“I was quite surprised to find that out actually,” Tyranis admitted. “I do apologize for labeling you as such. I didn’t think it would have such bad implications.”

 

“Cats out of the bag now,” Asher said, gritting his teeth. 

 

“Right,” Tyranis said. “When the System integrates with a planet it often looks at the vocabulary or terms that are popularized. Thus it came up with Star. This is what the people on your planet refer to as the most famous and desirable people to be. On other planets the Star moniker is usually known as Hero.”

 

“Dammit,” Asher blurted out. “You’re telling me I could have Hero at the end of my System name? How do I change it to that?”

 

“You could ask the System?” Tyranis offered. 

 

“Oh mighty System. Please change my System to Porn Hero.” Asher stared at his status screen. Nothing changed. “This stupid broken ass son of a bitch System,” he said under his breath. Looking around the room everyone stared. “Moving on. The Trial of Champions that I did. Can you go more into detail?”

 

“Of course. I can show it to you,” he said happily. “This recording will be made available to everyone. I have edited parts of other Champion Trials out, but this will show you all everything of the fight. It is quite famous now.”

 

Looking up to the screen a new video played. It showed a humanoid woman with yellow skin and what looked like scales, and another humanoid male maybe, with spikes for a chin. Asher was reminded of Morbo and that lady newscaster from Futurama. 

 

“Finally we have received confirmation of the Champion Trial completion on the newest Initialized planets. This has been edited for time purposes but here are the highlights.”

 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Asher said as he watched himself wake up at the trial. He met the orator and stopped him from dropping a kid into the pit.

 

A host said, “he’s already got a good start from the last planet. Let’s see how the betting is going.” They then showed the possible personality alignments he could receive and the betting odds. He noticed Lawful Good was 1 billion to one.

 

Then they showed sped up versions of Asher hanging around. Talking with the kids. Then showed him killing monsters. They made sure to show his interactions with the Orator and the kids. After Chepik tried to throw Staza in the pit the hosts were shocked. 

 

“I thought for sure he was going to throw him in then. I know I would have.”

 

“Me too,” the other host said. “But the trial is still underway.”

 

When Asher finally got to the eighth wave the hosts talked again while he fought. “We are getting to the final wave. No one has made it passed the wave after this. The choice will be made soon. Right now we are locked in at Lawful, but will he be Evil, Neutral, or in the off chance Good.”

 

“Yes. I know I’m excited. You all have to remember this is a trial conducted by Lethelle. This Asher Whitmore is currently being psychically bombarded with thoughts to give up, to let the children die. Most everyone has broken before this point, so the fact that he hasn’t already makes him more lawful than many trial takers.”

 

That was news to Asher. He had felt some pressure to let the kids die, but it wasn’t as bad as they made it sound. 

 

“Moment of truth people,” one said as Asher stood in front of the kids. No one said anything as he mentally went through his fathers sermons. Then the orator called for one to be cut down. 

 

“He’s going,” a host said. 

 

Then Asher leaped into the pit and grabbed both ropes and the hosts started freaking out. As Chepik was thrown back onto the platform then Staza the hosts lost their minds. 

 

“I can’t believe it,” one host said. 

 

“I’ve always hoped but I never thought I’d see the day that a Lawful Good would be chosen. This bodes well for the next Initialization people.”

 

“It does. Now let’s review the other contenders' results.”

 

Asher stared at the screen shocked. “Are you fucking kidding me!” He yelled. He had stood up at some point. “This is entertainment to you people? I thought I was going to die!”

 

“Oh very entertaining,” Tyranis said unashamedly. “The System always puts focus on their Hero. And it is said that the alignment of the planet typically reflects that of the Hero.”

 

“Fuck,” Asher could only say. He thought hard as he held his head in his hands. “So I take it I’m famous in the universe as well?”

 

“Very much so. Hero’s are usually well known. But a Lawful Good Hero? The System has conducted this trial roughly every 100 years with new Initializations. Each time 2 to 5 planets are given the System. In the thousands of Champion Trials there have been 3 recorded Lawful Goods. And now 4. This is a momentous occasion. Your planet should be very proud.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Nadir said from the side. “Isn’t this a good title to have. Wouldn’t a lot of people try for it?”

 

“Oh very much so. The true goal is to find someone untainted by the System that doesn’t know how important it is. There are hundreds of people in the System that take the trial despite no rewards and they still fail to receive Lawful Good. You have to see it from our point of view. The trial taker is psychically tricked to forget there is a trial at all. Then they are continuously told to give up. Over and over until it builds so much that they do give up. They have no skin in the game. It is a people that doesn’t look like them. Children are chosen for the sacrifices to help appeal to people’s nature, but still they let one or both of them die.”

 

“Well that’s messed up,” Asher said. “But what’s done is done. So I’m famous in 2 places. Let’s um, let’s move on,” Asher was doing his best to think of the next question they had. 

 

“How old is the System?” Asher eventually asked. 

 

“No one knows. Millions of years, some suspect.”

 

“How does it choose a planet to come to?”

 

“The System decides. Oftentimes we notice that Systems awaken close to others. We suspect it is based by location and level of maturity of the planet.”

 

“Can we deny the System?”

 

“No. It will happen whether we like it or not,” Tyrannis said. “But with it there are many boons as you have seen.”

 

Asher nodded. “On the news you mentioned our planet will be upgraded to a Tier III. So that means that level 50 to level 100 monsters can spawn?”

 

“It does. But that takes years to build up to. For now most monsters would range from level 1-25. For all of you out there,” he said to the silent crowd. “The average level of the current System users on your planet is 10. The best are around level 20. The highest level so far is level 23.”

 

Asher didn’t know that information. People weren’t as strong on Earth as he assumed. “What’s the average level in the universe?”

 

“If we talk average? Level 5-10,” Tyrannis said. “Like many on earth there are people simply not interested in leveling. Though it brings great rewards. Some don’t get the chance to level.”

 

“What about your planet?” Asher asked. 

 

“My planet is special,” Tyrannis said. “If I had to guess, the average level would be 30.”

 

“Jeez,” Asher said. “So your average citizen is stronger than everyone on my planet.”

 

Tyranis simply nodded. Asher gulped. That was a scary thought. “But most have no interest in fighting. It takes a special kind of System User to want to dungeon dive. You wouldn’t find half the people with 1 single title. As many as you have? A mere 1%. My people live long naturally. Though you live longer the higher the level you are.”

 

“How so?” Asher asked. 

 

“It ranges by species. But if you get to level 10 you could expect to live a few hundred years. Level 20, a thousand.”

 

“Shit,” Asher said. “So I could expect to live that long? No wonder people want a System. Too good to be true.” He was getting angry again. He forced himself to calm down. 

 

He needed a different tactic. “Your people are the Roktai, correct?”

 

“Correct,” Tyrannis said. “I’m surprised you know that. May I ask how?”

 

“The symbol on your chest. I went into a dungeon some months ago and went to a planet. The local elves said they were the Roktai and showed the same design as their sigil.”

 

“Ah yes. Of course. Since our planet is closer than most, of course there would be a dungeon portal to it. Tell me, did you enjoy your time there.”

 

“I did. When goblins weren’t chopping pieces off me. Other than that, it is very beautiful. Grassland and giant trees everywhere. I came upon a very advanced village and met their Chieftess Lyola Lofgren.”

 

Tryanis beamed a smile. “Ah good you met my-“

 

Don’t say it please, Asher thought. 

 

“Daughter.”

 

“Oh thank God,” Asher said aloud. “Yes I did. She was very hospitable.”

 

Tyranis was a little surprised by the comment. His eyes squinted as he asked Asher, “typically my people do not share our family name. Tell me human. What is your relationship with her?”

 

Asher began sweating bullets. “You don’t have a lie detection skill do you?” He asked. 

 

“No,” Tyranis said confused. 

 

“Then we just talked,” he said with a laugh. His face turning red he looked to Nadir with a death glare and mouthed the words ‘ask a question’. 

 

“Umm what can our people expect in the Hard Tutorial?”

 

Tyranis stared at Asher for a little while before eventually turning. “I will not lie. It will be hard. Currently there are 996 normal people to every one System User. Those System Users will be put in a group of around 1,000 normal people. They will help guide them in fighting monsters in hopes of changing their own System.”

 

“And if everyone with a System chooses the easy mode?” 

 

“Then the normal people will go in blind. It is rare but has been done.”

 

“Will they be given weapons?”

 

“They will not. At first they will be tasked simple quests for the System so that it may better understand them. They will then be given Syscos for those quests. Then when they receive their System they may purchase gear with those Syscos. After that happens they will be quested to fight monsters.”

 

“Will Red quests be issued for those people or System users that kill others?” Asher asked. 

 

“They will. But Red Quests can be hard to trigger. They require intent to challenge and knowledge of the target's location. Also violence must be included. Simply stealing will not generate a red quest.”

 

Asher nodded. That sounded about right from what he had seen. His last Illithid quest didn’t pop up until he knew where the kid actually was. 

 

“What about dungeons? Will they continue to spawn?”

 

“Yes. Much more so. With denser mana they will appear more often.”

 

“What about dungeon’s breaking? I was involved in a close call in South Korea a few months ago,” he said. There were some murmurs from the crowd with that. 

 

“They will happen as well. But as you saw, people in the area are warned.”

 

“What if one breaks under the ocean?” He asked. “Where there is no one for hundreds of miles?”

 

“This is rare. But does happen. You will have to deal with it. There are a million what ifs. I think it best if we hold off on them.”

 

Asher frowned but nodded. “What about groups? Currently a Gamer System is required.”

 

“Very good question. We do not have these Gamers you do. But we did have our own style like them. When the Initialization starts all Users will be given a group formation skill. Gamers will be compensated by being given a party status skill that allows all members to view one another’s status. Some may even speak to one another. Also after the Initialization all Users will be given access to the System Store. As the skill levels increase  you will be able to access more and more.”

 

“For those that choose to change Systems, will they lose levels?” Nadir asked. 

 

“They will not. They will simply change their System and be given skills they should have received in addition to their current skills. For instance all Administrator Systems will cease to be useful. So it is recommended for them to go through the Hard Tutorial.”

 

“How long will the tutorial and Tier increase for the planet take?”

 

“For a Tier 0 to 3. It will take 2 months. The System decides the length of the tutorial. I would expect 3 months.”

 

Asher and Nadir sat for a time. They shared a look. Asher said, “I am running out of questions. My last one for now is when do we leave and how many people can I take?” 

 

Tyranis thought for a time as if gauging what to say. “The main reason for taking you off planet is you couldn’t possibly want a new System. Hero systems are given increased rewards and experience for quests, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. You are the arm of the System and it will help you however it can. I can allow you to bring other System users. But they can only be people with Systems. Initialization would be their only chance to change the System they have. So they have to be sure they want it. I have accommodations in my ship for no more than…10.” Asher nodded at the number. It was more than he expected. But that left Zora out. He needed to get this over with to plan. “As far as when we leave? The System Initializes in 9 days. We will leave in 7. That is all the time I can give you.”

 

“And how long should I expect to be gone?” Asher asked. 

 

“6 months,” Tyranis said. 

 

“6 months?!” Asher asked angry again. “Why?”

 

“Well there is travel time to and from my planet. That is a good 2 weeks each way. Then you will have to undergo at least 2 more trials. First will be with you and your group. Then you and the other 3 Initiallized planets. Then depending on how well you do. Another trial is possible. These are all System sponsored and I have no information on them.”

 

Asher sat thinking for a while. “I assume I can’t deny this…honor?”

 

“No,” Tyranis said. “I would literally have to drag you away if you tried. Besides, the gains far outweigh the risks. This planet does not have intergalactic space travel. With Syscos you would have the opportunity to purchase such amenities. Then you can be a part of the League. Once in the League you could learn all the secrets you have been asking yourself.”

 

Asher nodded and stood up. Reaching out his hand he said, “fine. I’ll be there.”

 

With that the quest generated.