This S.O.B. System

Asher, Amanda, and Tiff sat on the couch watching TV. When Amanda had started living with them she had insisted they get a TV. Most of their time in the room was spent doing the sex, but with a roommate it made sense to get other entertainment. She was still a little too jittery to live on her own. After the werewolf attack he couldn’t blame her. 

 

Zora had left a few days ago to go to Iowa. Her parents were in the country for the next couple of weeks. They were now visiting with her Aunt and Uncle, and the 3 other girls that Asher had helped save from the porn ring. They had graduated from high school like Zora, but had decided to stay there. 

 

Zora and her family were planning to come to California in a few days so Asher could meet them. She was still a little hesitant to tell her parents about Tiff, but neither of them faulted her. They knew how much she loved them both. It would take everyone time. 

 

“We have your parents tomorrow,” Tiff reminded Ash.

 

“Right,” he said. Amanda and Tiff were on either side laying down on the sofa. Their feet in his lap he was using his Massage skill on them. It was still Tiff’s favorite skill, and she was thinking of a chiropractor roleplay next. Asher would do whatever she wanted. 

 

“What are we having?” Amanda asked. Ash and Tiff looked at her. She had sure made herself at home. The actual couple shared a look. Tiff didn’t want to kick her out just yet, but she would have to be gone before Zora came back. 

Ash sighed. “No idea. Anything new at the Guild?” Asher asked Tiff. 

 

“Nothing. Hector says he's almost done with revision 2 of the Trial. We got ahold of another Dungeoneer, but they only speak Chinese, so either they want to join the guild or kill us. Not sure.”

 

“Fair enough,” Asher said. “Heard from Zora?” 

“Still the same. Keeps sending me goat selfies. Rubbing it in my face,” Tiff said. She was regretting denying the invitation. “Hohoho,” Tiff said as her phone rang. “Joony my love, how’s Korea? What no small talk? Fine, I'll turn it on.” She kicked him. “Hey nerd, turn on the news.”

 

“Which one?” He asked. 

“Any, she says,” Tiff said. Asher was getting a bad feeling. 

“Alright, I’ll call you back,” Tiff said. He could hear worry in her voice too. 

 

It didn’t take long to find a channel, they were all showing the same thing. An empty podium with the presidential seal on it. “This is not good,” Asher mumbled as a man stepped behind it. 

 

“My fellow Americans,” he said. Asher didn’t know who he was, but there was a tag that said he was the Director of Foreign Affairs for the White House, Tim Leland. “For years now we have run into many issues with people that have what are called Systems. From flying to being able to hide large bombs on their person with no issue. The government has been very open about how great of a risk they can be.”

 

“This does not bode well,” Tiff commented. “Feels like he’s calling us out.” 

 

Asher nodded as Tim continued. “Along with watching many of these System Users, we have also worked with them,” Tim admitted. “These people don’t know how they got their System, or why. They are simply your everyday American. About 6 months ago, a few of these people with Systems received a notification of a Countdown.” In the top right corner of the screen it showed the countdown in real time. 

 

-CONGRATULATIONS 

CONDITIONS HAVE BEEN MET

INITIALIZATION START 

10:04:01:54-

 

“That’s creepy to see it like that,” Tiff commented. Asher agreed. Last time he had seen those words was when the days read 220, now they were down to 10.

 

“No wonder your dad was freaked out.”

 

Tim Leland continued. “Countries around the world are aware of this timer, and we have spent thousands of man hours trying to find out what it is. Now we have that answer.” 

“Hey dad. You watching the news? Good. I’ll talk to you when its over,” Tiff said into her phone. 

 

Tim brought up another screen. It was an image from space of what looked like a thorny spaceship crashing to Earth. “This morning an unidentified object was seen entering the atmosphere. It landed outside of Washington D.C. and our military immediately intercepted. What stepped out were human-like people. They had refused to answer questions prior to this broadcast. But they assure us they come in peace.” 

“Holy fucking shit,” Asher and Tiff said. 

 

“That’s a freaking elf,” Asher said as Tim walked away and another man stepped up. He had long blonde hair, with wide and long ears. 

 

“She’s hot,” Tiff said. 

 

“That’s a dude,” Asher said. 

 

“How can you tell?” Tiff said, mesmerized. 

“The clothes, and jawline,” he said. 

 

“You sure you didn’t fuck a guy elf?” She asked. 

 

“Kind of sure,” he said. 

 

The elf was elegant as he stood there stoically. On the other end of the press conference you could hear a pin drop. No one spoke or coughed, Asher guessed their jaws were dropped too. “Hello people of Earth. I welcome you to the System.” No one said anything, but the elf did smile. “I have been quested to help your people integrate fully into the System. What that means, is when this countdown goes to zero,” he said. Above his fingers a screen materialized with the countdown in red letters. This wasn’t a digital overlay from the TV, but the elf generated them from his own body. Asher guessed it had something to do with mana. “You humans, along with 2 other planets and sentient species, have been selected for the System. The System is an all encompassing guide to us people in the universe. Granting us powers, and strength. We receive quests and items that make all of our lives easier.”

 

The elf paused to take a drink of water. Asher looked to see that the girls had the same face of shock on. “For many years the System has been awakening in the people it chooses. Testing those, and trying to understand your people better. This has resulted in many customized Systems that have never been seen around the universe. My people have been a part of the System for thousands of years. From your pop culture you call my people elves, as I would call you humans. All planets in the System have gone through what you’re going through right now.” 

 

Looking around he then said, “ I will now allow questions.” 

No one immediately jumped up to ask, but eventually one did. “What is your name?”

 

“Oh I apologize. My name is Tyranis.”

 

“How are you speaking English?”

 

“I am not. I am speaking System Standard. But I have a skill through the System that allows all others to understand me, and for me to understand you,” he said. Then the hands shot up. 

 

“What do you get out of this?” 

“The System has offered me a quest. It rewards those that do its bidding. It just so happens that the reward is fair for the risk.”

 

“Why you specifically?”

 

“My planet is one of the closest to your solar system. I was chosen. If I had declined, someone else would have been tasked with this job.”

 

“Why have you come now?” 

 

“The Countdown is almost complete. With it will start the Initialization of all your people to have a System. All those that are aged 16 and older I mean. Those that are younger will have to wait.”

 

“What will the Initialization entail?”

 

“That is the best news of all,” Tyranis said. “Your planet is what we call a Tier 0 Planet. There are no monsters on it. Along with that you have very few mana rich resources. If any at all. The System has deemed you worthy to be upgraded to a Tier III planet. A full 3 tiers, which is normally unheard of. But the System wills it. With that upgrade the Mana Leylines of the planet will be infused. This will cause the planet to expand. Monsters will begin to spawn. And mana will fill the air. This will make mana resources, increase the size of animals, and generally increase the capabilities of all magic abilities on the planet.”

 

“If the planet were to expand it would cause tidal waves and earthquakes. Killing billions,” someone noted. 

 

“It would,” Tyranis said. “That is why during that time everyone on your planet will be teleported to another location to go through the System Tutorial. This tutorial will be split into 2 parts. The Easy Tutorial. Those that choose this method are happy with their current System. Are below the age of 16. Or opt to do so. You can still earn a System, but it will be picked for you. Then there is the Hard Tutorial, which I recommend for all. This will pit you up against monsters. If you choose this method you can earn the chance to change your System, or to receive one depending on your accomplishments.”

 

Everyone was quiet as they pondered the words. “Now, all of this information will be made public very soon. The real reason for me to come talk to you all is to find your Champion.”

 

“Fuuuuuck,” Asher said in a long drawn out sigh. 

 

“What?” Tiff and Amanda asked. He ignored them as his heart began to pound. 

 

“What is a Champion?” Another reporter asked. 

 

“They are a person who has passed the Trial of Champions.”

 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” Asher groaned. Sweat broke out on his face. The girls were looking at him like he was crazy. Tears formed on his eyes as he couldn’t blink while he waited. 

 

“How do we choose someone to take this trial?”

 

“They have already been chosen. They triggered the Initialization when they completed the trial.”

 

Asher thought back. He had taken the Trial, and the next day the Initialization Countdown started. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he said as Tyranis continued. 

 

“While this planet goes through Initialization. I will be taking your Champion to my planet. There he will be introducing your people to the others of the Systemic League, which is the name of other planets that have gone through Initialization. There they will go through some tests with other planets that are joining the League.” 

 

“Who is this Champion?” Someone finally asked. 

 

“Don’t say it,” Asher pleaded to the TV. 

 

“An American that goes by the name Asher Whitmore,” the elf said. 

 

“Fuck!” Asher exploded off the sofa. 

 

“Could be a different Asher,” Amanda offered. 

 

“He is also known as Quinten Hardly,” Tyranis said. 

 

“Double Fuck,” Asher said. The girls stared at him shocked. 

 

“The man with the Porn Star System,” Tyranis said. 

 

“Don’t say it outloud,” Asher yelled at the TV. As he looked back there was a picture of him during the Trial of Champions. 

 

“Fuck me,” Tiff said. “My husband is famous as shit now.”