The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 40

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To call it an imperial decree was a bit generous; it was an apology letter, one that was detailed enough to unfold over several lengths of paper. Upon hearing this news, I accidentally cut off a chunk of Gowun’s bangs as I was trimming them carefully.

The Empress was truly strange. I couldn’t explain her actions with what I knew to be true.

Could this really be the behavior of someone incapable of loving anyone?

Could she be possessed? Not of this world?

The original story was about an Empress unloved by anyone and the deeply romantic tales of the male leads who loved her.

However, with my intervention, the Empress had become adorable, Mirinae had softened, and Garam… His actions flashed through my mind.

I sighed in relief and brushed my chest. Hmm, it’s back to normal.

‘Ah, that’s not it.’

Shaking off the thought of intervening again, I became serious once more.

Could the original story really change like this?

Lately, there hadn’t been much fighting among the consorts. This ranged from minor squabbles to significant conflicts.

In the original, Garam would attack Mirinae and then, with his family’s finances cut off, be forced to apologize grudgingly.

It wasn’t just them. The other consorts were quiet too. No matter how large the palace, if someone fought and damaged it, there would be a loud noise, but lately, there had been none.

Occasionally, I encountered other consorts, and most of them would stare at me before handing over a small pouch. These pouches usually contained snacks or jewels.

Even with the Empress frequently visiting my quarters, it was the same.

Could their not fighting also be for my sake?

‘Hmm.’

Ah, no. That’s a bit of an overestimation.

Then what is it? The thread I had half-unraveled was now tangled up again.

With a troubled face, I fetched the Empress’s letter, which I had read more than twice. After reading it through to the end, I couldn’t hide my astonishment.

The letter apologized if the gifts sent so far had been burdensome and clarified that there was no intention to upset me.

I didn’t know whether to laugh at the need for such an apology or cry at its purity.

If this was all an act, then the greatest villain in this novel wasn’t Mirinae but Yehwa.

Yehwa was hammering away at the firmly established notion that ‘the Empress is incapable of loving anyone.’

Ah, it’s difficult. Really too difficult.

If the setting I knew was wrong, if Yehwa thinks like a normal person, then what does everything I’ve done so far amount to?

Actions that unintentionally hurt others flashed before my eyes, making me feel like trash anew.

No, but honestly, it’s hard to say this is 100% my fault!

Initially, Yehwa felt guilty towards me, wanted to take care of me as a child, and sympathized with me for being mistreated. But that was all.

I had expected that dignified Empress to remain the same!

The affection I imagined from the Empress was merely a polite inquiry about my well-being with a laugh. I never dreamed she’d become a puppy following me around.

Yehwa kept changing. And it was hard for me to believe all of it was a lie. But what could she possibly gain from pretending to treat me well?

As I pondered, a lightbulb went off in my head.

Right. The supernatural abilities.

‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

The Empress kept many consorts not only because of the duty to produce an heir but also to utilize their supernatural abilities.

But they were deployed in politics because they blindly loved the Empress.

Was the reason the consort from the Yeoran family, possessing a versatile telekinetic ability, not utilized because I was young or because I was indifferent to the Empress?

The tangled thread in my mind slowly unraveled. I had my conclusion.

‘That was it.’

I wondered why I was acting like a fool out of character.

A sense of relief pierced through the frustration, followed by a faint disappointment. It wasn’t pleasant to realize someone’s affection was entirely false, as they say, familiarity breeds fondness.

I should go to the Empress and confess the truth. I have no supernatural abilities, not even the size of a chickpea, an unrecognized bastard child.

Then, I would become a consort who failed both duties.

‘Will I be expelled?’

The assumption of misfortune is always easy. I imagined what I would look like if I were expelled from the palace.

If it becomes known that I have no abilities, the Empress will welcome a new consort from the Yeoran family, and I’ll have to return to my original home.

My blood ran cold. Would Giyun grant me a peaceful death in that case?

In my previous life, I died in an accident before entering Sanya’s body. Death wasn’t scary to me.

But the pain that lay on that path was dreadfully unwelcome. It felt as if my body was being shattered into pieces. The pain was so intense that I couldn’t even faint.

What kinds of torture could Giyun inflict on me?

I made one strong resolution.

‘I’ll ask to not be expelled from the palace.’

Knowing I lacked abilities, the Empress might lose interest in me, but she was still a benevolent ruler. Moreover, Mirinae and Garam held me in some regard.

I had no desire to maintain my current status, but perhaps they would keep me as a maid.

I wanted to keep quiet if possible, but with the Empress wanting to use my supernatural abilities, getting caught was only a matter of time.

Of course, I was guilty of deception, so who knows how it would turn out, but at least it wasn’t a red-handed capture. It was a confession.

They might let it slide, considering the time we’ve spent together.

…Right?

‘I don’t… I don’t know…’

Drained, I flopped down onto the bed.

The maids became flustered again. Staring blankly at their faces, I flipped over and buried my face in the pillow.

Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen?

Thinking about it calmly, the likelihood of my ending up in a terrible situation was low. If the Empress lost interest in me, allowing Giyun Yeoran to easily target me, I’d just need to regain the Empress’s attention.

Recalling any useful modern knowledge, I let out a deflated laugh. It was funny to think about the days I struggled to avoid the Empress’s attention.

I had nearly given up on dodging the Empress about a month ago.

Not only had my security been ensured by the shadows and maids, and their official backing made me feel secure enough to stretch out and sleep, but I also couldn’t bring myself to kick away the Empress, who approached me like a puppy seeking attention, no matter how much I detested it.

One sunny day, due to Yehwa suggesting a picnic, Mirinae, Garam, Yehwa, and I packed a lunch and went to the palace garden.

The food was delicious, and the sunlight was warm. Mirinae and Garam fought over who would get to have me sit on their lap, and Yehwa watched me to see my reaction, which was so funny that I laughed a little, and their fight stopped. They laughed foolishly. That laughter was dazzling.

It was enjoyable.

My thoughts halted there. I shook my head to dispel the thought that lingered over those four syllables.

I’m not missing out.

I wasn’t starving for affection. Therefore, I didn’t need to deeply consider their attention and affection.

Even if they turned their backs on me, I wouldn’t be hurt.

Tomorrow will have its sunrise, and even if it’s a bit sad now, when I wake up the next morning, it’ll be fine.

As it always has been.

‘Yes. That’s all that’s needed.’

Even if Seoyeon, Heesa, Cheonyu, and even Gowun all leave my side, I won’t be devastated.

If I’m utterly alone and feel lonely, I can find something small to attach to. That was quite bearable.

It’s okay to be alone. It has been that way so far.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. My breath felt blocked at my chest, causing me to frown.

After possessing this body, I thought I had gotten better, but here I am again. As I buried my face in the pillow, a cautious hand stroked my shoulder.

“My lady, why are you like this?”

At that voice, I lifted my head. Heesa was sitting beside me, her face drawn with worry.

It wasn’t just Heesa. Seoyeon, Gowun, Cheonyu, and the other maids were all looking at me with concern. Their affection felt so warm that I almost smiled but then grimaced instead.

I might be okay soon, but before long, they will drift away from me as if we had never met.

It would be a significant loss if we parted.

“No, I’m okay.”

Even as I thought that, I smiled again as if nothing was wrong.

“But, my lady…”

Heesa hesitated to speak further, but Seoyeon stopped her. Seoyeon, who had quietly lowered her head, looked at me intently.

“My lady, I apologize, but…”

She was usually reserved and her expression stern. Yet, it was strange that I never felt like she was angry at me.

Even now, though Seoyeon’s face was rigid, I knew it was out of nervousness.

“May I give you a hug?”

It was an unusually informal request from Seoyeon, who always maintained her decorum around me.

I looked at her awkwardly, then hesitantly opened my arms and was embraced. Like Heesa and the other maids, Seoyeon’s embrace was stiff. It was as if she had never hugged anyone before, making the posture awkward. But it was warm.

“My lady.”

“…”

“I am here for you.”

Pat, pat.

Rough hands, weathered from hardship, awkwardly patted my back.

“If you command, my lady, I will be there.”

Wrapped in her embrace, I saw the worried faces of the maids over Seoyeon’s shoulder and couldn’t help but burst into gentle laughter.

Such kind people.

“Thank you.”

I felt a slight urge to cry, but no tears came. It was a change that occurred after I entered Sanya’s body.

The child’s eyes were terribly dry. Yet, I wasn’t displeased. My vision unblurred by tears, I carefully observed each of their faces.

In enough detail to remember them even as time passes.

“I should go to the Flower Dragon Palace. Please send a message.”

I hoped for a return if possible.