Chapter 27
**The Fourth Chapter: The Tug of Emotions**
Aside from Frederick’s sobs, the dining room was utterly silent.
Even Lotus, who thought she had somewhat grown accustomed to Frederick’s erratic behavior, hadn’t anticipated him falling to his knees. For a moment, she felt as though her heart had stopped.
‘Why… why are you doing this, Frederick?’
Lotus knew better than anyone just how prideful Frederick was.
Born into an advantageous position in society—male, from a good family, and with exceptional abilities—he had lived his life without ever lacking or wanting for anything.
He was powerful enough that, if he so wished, he could slay dozens of monsters single-handedly. Not even the emperor, to whom every citizen of the empire owed loyalty, was someone Frederick saw as above him.
Although his family lived under an imperial title and thus he maintained the minimum decorum towards the emperor, that was the extent of it.
—If the emperor is the ruler of the empire, I’m the tower master, aren’t I? Why should I bow down? Honestly, if we fought, I’d beat him in looks and ability. There’s nothing to feel inferior about. Don’t you think so too, Roti?
—Well, shouldn’t we also compare personalities?
Yet now, he was kneeling before her, crying after only a few words, and Lotus couldn’t understand it at all.
Her heart was overwhelmed with various emotions, but above all, she felt shock and confusion. She needed to help him get up first.
“…For someone as promising as the tower master and the young lord of the Abran family to act like this… it makes me uneasy. I fear the anger of the mage tower and the criticism of others. Please, stand up.”
“No one, not a single person… can criticize you. I’ll kill anyone who tries.”
Frederick’s voice was raw and broken. His tear-stained face was pale, his silver eyes filled with murderous intent. This was a side of him she hadn’t seen in her previous life.
Something about his appearance felt foreign to Lotus, and she felt as though someone was tightening their grip around her throat.
Kenneth stood up from his seat and stepped between Frederick and Lotus.
The moment Kenneth intervened, the suffocating pressure Lotus had felt vanished as if it had never been.
Kenneth looked at Frederick with cold, steady eyes and spoke.
“Can’t you control your own aura?”
It dawned on Lotus then that the oppressive energy Frederick had emitted was a combination of killing intent and mana.
Not only Lotus, but everyone else in the room had turned pale.
Hession, trained in swordsmanship, and the marquis seemed to be holding up relatively well. However, the marquis’s wife, who was of weaker constitution, was visibly trembling.
Just as a seasoned swordsman or knight naturally exudes a sharp aura, a mage of high caliber naturally resonates with the surrounding mana.
Frederick’s brief lapse into murderous intent had caused the mana around him to sharpen, pressuring those nearby.
Kenneth, though specializing in a different field, was able to dispel the oppressive energy because he was just as skilled as Frederick.
“I-I’m sorry, Lotus! Are you alright? I made a mistake!”
Frederick’s face had turned even paler, and he looked utterly lost. If Lotus said the wrong thing now, he seemed ready to smash his forehead against the floor in guilt.
‘First, the Abran family will try to kill me, and then the mage tower won’t stand by quietly either.’
She had wished for death, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be murdered by someone.
With a quiet sigh, Lotus addressed Kenneth.
“Sir Zahard, thank you for your help. I’m sorry, but could you step aside for a moment?”
Conversations should be had face to face, while looking into each other’s eyes.
It wasn’t because she felt pity for Frederick, who looked so helpless, as if he were trapped in trauma.
Really, it wasn’t.
‘Who am I to pity anyone?’
Still, the sight of Frederick, crying, felt awkward and out of place, like someone wearing clothes that didn’t fit.
Kenneth hesitated for a moment before stepping back, and Lotus approached Frederick, kneeling down in front of him—just like him.
Their eyes met. Frederick’s voice sounded panicked.
“L-Lotus, get up.”
“I will, once you stand up.”
“But…”
“I didn’t want this kind of apology. It would have been enough if you had sincerely apologized and promised to be more mindful of your actions moving forward.”
Lotus spoke calmly, like a mother scolding a child. She wasn’t completely free of anger.
However, Frederick’s actions had shown some sincerity, and the shock and confusion she felt had overshadowed her anger, allowing her to regain her composure.
‘This feels like we’ve gone back in time.’
Frederick had often acted in ways that were difficult for ordinary people to understand, and Lotus would hold in her frustration until she eventually exploded.
Then, that sly man who was fully aware of his own charm would act like a scolded puppy. But never had he shown such panic as he was now.
In the past, after she calmed down, Lotus would deliver a calm, almost nagging lecture, and Frederick would casually reply with a half-hearted “I understand.” That had been their usual pattern.
“Lotus… you said you wanted to die.”
“I didn’t say that. I only asked if I had to disappear for you to stop acting so recklessly.”
Though she felt a twinge of guilt, Lotus answered without missing a beat.
Did Frederick truly believe that he was the cause of her suicidal tendencies?
No, that would be an absurd assumption. Her entanglement with Frederick had only begun at the Harvest Festival ball.
Who in the world would connect her troubled reaction to his dance request with a suicide attempt?
Even in the far-fetched scenario where Frederick was a time traveler like her, it still wouldn’t make sense.
He had no reason to feel guilty about her death in the past. His feelings toward her had been nothing more than a lighthearted affection and curiosity, like one might feel toward a pet.
Still, just in case, Lotus added a final comment.
“Even if I were to die, it wouldn’t be because of you.”
“No, no, no!”
Frederick covered his ears, refusing to listen to her words.
What should she do? His panic seemed to be worsening. After a moment’s hesitation, Lotus reached out and gently removed his hands from his ears.
It had been a long time since she last held Frederick’s hand, and for the first time in this life, she noticed how cold it was. As a mage who wielded wind magic, he usually had a mild, steady body temperature.
His cold hands were a sign that his blood and mana circulation were not functioning properly. Whatever was going on, he seemed to be pushing himself too hard.
‘Is he truly involved in some secret investigation?’
When the body is exhausted, the mind often falters as well. Perhaps this was why Frederick was reacting so strangely.
Despite his arrogant and willful nature, he had always been unexpectedly sensitive. In the past, he had never killed anyone with magic, not even once.
Maybe that was why her frequent mentions of death grated on him so much.
“Calm down.”
“Lotus, don’t die.”
Frederick’s words felt as though he could see right through her, as if he knew she was planning her second suicide.
“If you die, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“What does my death mean to you?”
Lotus asked as she thought back to her past death.
A disgrace to the Marquis of Estelle, a one-night scandal of Bahamur’s high society.
Was there anyone who had truly mourned her death back then?
A woman who could be neither a commoner nor a noble, who could be neither obedient nor intelligent and bold. A woman who didn’t belong anywhere, and whose life was therefore filled with more pain and loneliness.
“Lotus!”
“Lady Estelle!”
Two voices called out to her simultaneously.
“…Please, don’t talk about dying. I beg you.”
The voice of Hession, known as the Iron Knight, trembled as he spoke.
“A world without you holds no meaning.”
Kenneth, the Ice Knight, growled lowly in agreement.
“It would give me a reason to be unforgiving toward this world.”
Frederick responded, wiping away the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. His reply felt grandiose, almost detached from reality.
The sudden kindness from everyone around her left Lotus feeling unsettled.
The seemingly considerate gestures of this world didn’t feel kind at all to her.
In fact, it felt suspicious and made her wary.
Not only Frederick’s response, but Hession’s and Kenneth’s as well were difficult for Lotus to comprehend. So, she decided to change the subject.
Grasping Frederick’s hand, she stood up, and he followed suit. Having achieved her original goal, Lotus spoke.
“I’ll accept your apology, but make sure you handle things properly afterward.”
“Handle things?”
“Random summoning magic pulls the nearest object, right? For lower-level mages, it’s difficult to accurately return objects to their original place. But for someone like you, I’m sure you’re aware of exactly where everything came from.”
The eyes of the Marquis Estelle, Hession, and Kenneth gleamed with interest. Though Lotus wasn’t a mage, she had an impressive understanding of how the magic worked.
“I paid for it! I left gold coins in their place!”
“Not everything can be solved with money. You don’t know what significance the soup or stew might have. What if it was a dish lovingly prepared for a sick family member? Can gold coins really compensate for that?”
“…”
“So, go and explain what happened and apologize properly. I don’t want resentment directed at me over something like this, and I don’t want it directed at you either.”
Frederick nodded slowly. His compliance made him seem like a docile lamb, and the Marquis couple, as well as Hession, couldn’t believe their eyes.
“I’ll go take care of it. Don’t worry about me, and please continue your meal, Lotus.”
Frederick hastily added, “It’s not a demand, just a request. I really don’t want your meal to be disrupted because of me.”
“…Alright.”
Frederick cast a teleportation spell and disappeared.
The commotion left the carefully prepared dishes from the Marquis’s chefs cold. Now that Frederick was gone and the situation had calmed down, the chefs hurried to reheat the food.
Lotus let out a sigh. It had been a moment of emotional loss of control that led to the entire situation.
Although she had agreed to continue the meal in front of Frederick, the idea of eating in such an awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere was dreadful.
Even though she wasn’t planning to starve herself, the thought of food didn’t appeal to her at all.
“…I apologize for causing such a scene.”
“Oh, no need,” replied the Marquis, who seemed to have finally recovered from Frederick’s sudden outburst.
“Preparing for the debutante must have put me on edge.”
It was a rather poor excuse, considering the circumstances.
Still, Lotus felt the need to offer something, even if it was a flimsy justification.
“I’ll reflect on this and make sure nothing like this happens again.”
To the others, this felt like Lotus was only further closing the door to her heart, declaring that she wouldn’t allow anyone in.