The Simpsons: Bart

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***

Not fully redeeming why, but I walked into the principal's office. Who sat there with a wide smile, and for probably the first time in years was happy to see me.

- Sit down, Bartholomew. - even got up to move a chair for me.

I sat down, uncomfortable and excited, for I had no other choice.

- Eh, what a history of our relationship.... - the headmaster began nostalgically. - Constant pranks, sneaking forbidden items into school, bullying, cheating, inappropriate behaviour in class, truancy and indecent behaviour....

He doesn't know how lucky he is, Skinner would sell his soul to have me behave in junior school like I do in high school.

- I think a serious offence was only a matter of time.

- Huh?' I blurted out, not realising what I'd done since suspension.

- Play boy, come on. As expected of a scumbag like you, first you pretend to be an adult, and as soon as responsibility for your actions appears on the horizon, you put on the face of an innocent, uncomprehending child.

What's he talking about? And what did I do to deserve such words? I didn't do anything bad in high school, just a little bit of mischief.

- This is a fire investigation. Do you know what caused the fire? - Uh-oh. - Firecrackers. And who left them?

- Hey, I didn't leave them anywhere, I just threw them away! - with a cold sweat on my forehead, I found the strength to object.

- Yes, of course you did. In the bin in front of the boys' loo, where they throw cigarette butts all the time, and sometimes they set them on fire.

- But even so, what's that got to do with me? I didn't set anything on fire!

- Look, Bart. - the principal slammed a file on the desk. - I'm sick and tired of you, the second grader, the bully, the one who sets fires to cheat on tests. - I wrote them myself. Alison even helped me study for them. Or does that mean you didn't? - You've got no future, you'll grow up to be a finished man, if you're not already. Your whole time at school has been about being a bad influence on Van Houten and emotionally abusing your sister. Although maybe the physical stuff just wasn't on camera, eh, Bart?

What's he talking about? What kind of abuse are we talking about? What could I possibly have done to Zubrila?

- And here's the natural outcome of your actions.

Anger. Misunderstanding. Confusion. All my feelings went under my ribs, and I was stunned to see my expulsion certificate from Springfield High School.

- N-b-but I'm not under--

- Not this time. Although. - the principal pulled some notebooks out of his desk. - The real offenders had no problem writing the opposite, claiming you put them up to it.

- That's not fair. - came out of me in a near whisper, my mind anywhere but there.

- Neither is forgiving you for so many years. Haa... The role of a teacher, like a principal, despite all the bad things to try to see something good in students and try to make that something overpower everything bad in them, but.... Haa... You, Bart, don't have that good in you. While your peers are loving, trying to achieve their dreams, striving in their studies to get into proper universities, what are you doing?

Я? What am I doing?

- Wasting your time on games, porn, fanfic? It's a useless pastime. - Finishing with that, with his lips pressed together, the headmaster stood up from the table and headed out, summing me up.

- Please ask! - Preventing him from walking out the door, branding me, I clutched onto his suit. - I will do my best. I will change my behaviour, I promise! I'm willing to clean the school and help the teachers! Just please give me another chance! I will honestly do better, just give me one more month, until the next tests!

Ashamed to admit even to myself, I spoke not only shouting pleas, but with tears welling up in my eyes, which made the principal lower his thick grey eyebrows.

- You don't deserve another chance, Bart Simpson. It's great luck that no one was hurt, and you owe it to me to be grateful that I made the decision to scuttle this case so easily.

The principal's gone about his business. But, as if delirious, I dragged my feet and walked to class. Unresponsive to my desk mates' questions and the teacher's shouts, I packed my bags, slung my backpack on my back and walked out of Springfield High School for the last time.

.....

- I've been expelled. - Announced to an empty house. Lisa and Maggie are at school, Homer is at work, well Mum has apparently gone shopping.

Going up to my room, I collapsed on my bed, replaying the principal's words in my head. I wanted so badly to find something to say, but I couldn't. Did it mean that he was right? Did it mean that I really was a finished man?

Trying to hold back the tears, I fell into sleep, feeling more tired than ever before....

.....

- Bart! - I was roused from sleep by Mom's voice, the voice I wanted to hear last. The fact that Mom sounded pleased made me feel sick to my stomach, because I knew that soon that would change, soon everything would change. - Since you're already home, you have visitors!

While I was thinking to say everything now or wait for the evening when my dad comes back, footsteps were already heard outside my room.

- Yo? - waving his hand in the direction of, presumably, Milhouse.

- Hey, Bart. - but was answered by a girl's unfamiliar voice.

- Becky? - I turned my head and saw a blonde girl with a ponytail and braces that were visible because of her wide smile. She'd been wearing them for how many years now? Six? Or more?

- I wanted to thank you in person. - Twirling a lock of hair, Becky looked anywhere but at me, considering my entire room. Any other day I'd be embarrassed, but today I don't care, even if I have dirty pants lying around somewhere.

- You're welcome... Literally. The firecrackers were mine. - I got bored of looking at her and turned to the ceiling. I realise she's here with the best of intentions, but I'm far from it.

- Are you not yourself today? Did something happen? - I got the impression from your voice that the firecracker remark had slipped through the cracks. - Bart, there's something I have to tell you.

- And now her voice was getting harder, for some reason.

- А?

- I'm sorry, my head's spinning. I'm even saying my inner dialogues out loud.

- The thing is. What? What? You should see for yourself. - Lisa's blonde classmate came over to me and put her phone on my stomach.

With an incredible physical effort, I picked it up, seeing that she wanted me to watch some kind of video. If it's her home video, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for it, though the urge is appreciated....

- I don't! - the first thing in the video was my girlfriend, who will most likely dump me when she finds out about the expulsion, Alison Taylor, screaming and at the same time, sticking out her tongue.

- You pulled the card, so you must! - teased Lisa, who was unusually serious.

- But I don't want to! He's stupid, fat and he probably stinks! - Huh? Ali isn't who I think he is...?

- Those were the terms. You have to help me get back at Bart for playing with my feelings.

- Oh, and here's one more thing. - Becky took her phone away for a few moments, trailing off showing the group chat correspondence:

ET: - Bart is like a monkey, so gullible!

LS: - Did you seriously make him study all day? Keck.

Yeah, and tomorrow I'm going to change his look, lol! I wish I could dress him up like that (?_?) Also, Liz, only old people use 'kek', lol.

LS: - It feels like we're helping him, not getting revenge! I'm under the table!

ET: - He's so easy to manipulate! I thought a high schooler would be trouble, well, that part, and he won't even take my hand himself! Lisa, your brother's a raggy virgin!

...I'm an idiot.

- Bart, when Lisa found out. - I jumped out of bed, shoved Becky's phone back in her hand, and ran out of the room.

- Bart, is that your girlfriend? Then take her. - Mum called out to me from the kitchen as I was putting on my trainers.

- No, Mom, she's not my girlfriend. And I got expelled from school today. - What the hell is the big deal?!

- What?! - while Mum froze in shock with her eyes and mouth wide open, I closed the front door behind me.

On the way, after texting Alison that I was on my way to her house and that we needed to talk, I went into the garage to get my bike. I didn't write about how I wanted to tell her to her face and break up once and for all.

- Where are you going, young man?! - my mother came out as I was driving away from the house. DADA mum, but I'm too angry to have a conversation right now and I really don't want to make our relationship worse.

.....

My sweetie: Well, Bart, where are you? I've been waiting outside my house for half an hour!

- It's funny how quickly you change your contact name when you start dating.... Although you still go by your first name most of the time.

I don't know how, but I ended up on a bridge. Just anger at one point sharply let go, and only sadness remained, and now it somehow pulled me here.

- We're breaking up. - I pressed the send button and ended it all much more calmly than I had expected and wanted to fifteen minutes ago.

I switched my phone off next, as the calls from my mum were getting a bit annoying. I must have disappointed her a lot, right? And Homer, too. Lisa must hate having a loser brother like that too. Maggie will grow up and share her opinion, that's for sure.

The thing is, ever since high school, I've been replaying the principal's words in my head. Then I added Alison's correspondence. The arguments with Lisa. Mum's words and the look in my eyes when I was a sophomore...

'Bart, don't you think about anything? Don't you care about anything? Do you have any idea how disappointed you've been in me? Or do you not only care about your grades, you care about your mother?! What did I do to deserve such a son?!'

At first I was angry, but I cooled down on one thought - 'Aren't they right?'. And in an attempt to find an argument in my favour, the pedals gradually began to turn slower until the bike slowed down altogether.

- I'm a loser. - just like Lisa said. And she wasn't the only one right. The headmaster's right that I'm no good, or at least I don't see it myself. Alison's right that I'm just a spineless, stupid virgin. And Mum doesn't deserve a son like that. Lisa and Maggie are excellent students, in good standing at both music and ballet schools, and I'm nothing but trouble. - Too bad life isn't a TV show, and problems don't get solved in twenty minutes, and the next week everything goes back to the way it was.... - looking at my reflection in the water, I thought, I'm going to die a loser, and if that's the case, is there any point in delaying it...?