The Savage Ones

I heard the birds before I saw them, felt the sun on my cheek before my eyes opened, the cool touch of the spring breeze through the open window. Blinking, I rolled over, looking up at the fresh beams of timber Frank had hewn out by hand, carefully fitting them together for a tight seal against the weather. He'd done well, building mamma and me a house to live in, planting a garden to sustain us, and occasionally taking me hunting when he brought home meat. I was trying to like him, trying to fit into this new life. It had been months since we left the wagon train to live here. There was a town not two miles distant from our house.

"Jaynie! Get up sweetheart, breakfast is ready!" Mamma's sweet call came from downstairs in the kitchen.

My bed was in the warmest spot of the house, the cozy loft reached by a stationary ladder Frank had built. Pushing the woven blanket off me, I swung my feet to the floor, smothering a sigh. Today was another tedious exercise in silence, for I had been sent to school with the other children at the beginning of fall. I did not get along well with the others, and the first month the schoolteacher had sent me home early every day for fighting. Mamma had been upset, Frank mildly irritated, but both had tried to be patient.

Mamma was the first to stop waiting for me to start acting 'civilized'. I hated that word. Each time she said it, I felt she was calling me savage and wild, even though I did not believe that's what she really thought. I think Frank sensed something of how I felt, for his approach to my temper was different. While Mamma scolded and spanked, Frank explained and reasoned with me. The result was my pulling away from both of them, resentful and sullen. I hated school.

"Jaynie!" Mamma's voice was a little sharper, and I hurriedly shed my sleeping gown and began pulling on my clothes.

"Coming Mamma!"

Skirt slightly wrinkled, blouse leaving a little duck tail hanging out the back, I scrambled down the ladder, skipping the last three rungs. I hit the floor with a solid thud, beaming. My mother threw a disapproving look at me.

"Try to act like a young lady, Jaynie. You're not a little boy."

"Yes Mamma." I was grinning impishly as I said it, hoping to provoke her to smile and play with me but she only frowned, her eyes narrowing.

"I am serious, Jaynie. I won't have you jumping all over the house. You could break something, or hurt yourself."

"I would not-!"

"Jaynie!" My protest was sharply cut off. "Do not argue with me! Get outside and wash up before breakfast. And tell Frank we're ready to eat."

"Yes Mamma." Feeling as though she'd just slapped me, I went outside, sulking inside. Ever since coming here, my mother had changed. Even though I was only eleven, I began to sense her shame in me, publically forced to acknowledge having a half breed child in a town of whites.

I was not allowed to touch my bow and arrows or wear my favorite buckskin dress, fringed in beads and bone, and my hair was never plaited into twin braids. Forbidden to speak my papa's tongue, I spoke it in my mind, or aloud when I was alone, begging the Great Spirit for the Yanktonai warrior to come rescue his lost and sad daughter. Stolen away at seven, forced to leave behind the life I knew and loved, it had been traded in for prejudice and mistrust. Bitterness was on my tongue, and I spat, suddenly angry. She should have left me at home-!

"Morning Butterfly."

Frank Colter was just coming from the small barn, wiping his hands on his pants. His gray eyes were warm and friendly, but I could tell he'd seen my anger.

"Food ready?"

"Yes." I grudgingly gave the one word answer, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Kimimela has anger in her eyes this morning." He spoke quietly, for Mamma did not approve of the use of my real name. "Does she long for another day of freedom?"

"I hate school." I mumbled the words, but he heard me and knelt down to my level.

"Sorry girl. Weekends are only two days long, and we're past snow days. You've got to try and see it as something you can benefit from."

I wanted to protest, to complain and argue, but pride kept my lips sealed. I would not whine and cry to get my way, that was beneath me. Instead, I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin.

"We're supposed to wash, or we won't get to eat."

"Yes ma'am." Frank grinned, accustomed to my abrupt ways and brusque attitude. "I don't think I can skip a meal today, I started off hungry enough to eat a bear."

He pumped water for us both and we rinsed off quickly, making it to the door in time to meet Mamma coming to see what was taking us so long. She had a long wooden ladle in her hand, a slight frown between her brows.

"What took you? I sent Jaynie out ten minutes ago!"

"Jenny, sweetheart, it won't hurt the eggs to warm the plates for a spell. Jaynie and me was talkin', man to man."

"Frank Colter-"

"Mrs. Colter." He cut her off gently, wrapping his arms around her waist, grinning. "You're a beautiful sight first thing in the morning. Ain't she Jaynie?"

"Yes sir." I spoke automatically, but I did mean it. My mother was beautiful, with clear, pale skin, silky brown hair, and pretty green eyes that sparkled when she laughed. I looked more like my father.

"You tell her yet?" Frank nodded his head at me and Mamma flushed, her cheeks going a rosy pink.

"No."

"You should." His meaning was pointed, and though I didn't yet understand Mamma did. She came to my side and knelt down, her lips pressed together in the way she had that meant it was important. Her hand on my shoulder was gentle, but I felt her fingers tremble a little.

"Mamma?" I deliberately kept my hands at my sides but looked into her eyes, searching them for a clue. She smiled, drawing me a little closer.

"You're going to be a big sister, Jaynie. Frank and I, we're going to have a baby." She waited but I said nothing. "Do you understand, Jaynie?"

"Yes." I forced a smile but felt my heart drop, suddenly cold. "Are you happy, Mamma?"

"Happy? Of course I'm happy!" She smiled, hugging me a little too tightly. "It's going to be wonderful!"

I glanced over at Frank while she hugged me, and though he was smiling, his eyes met mine and darkened. As if he knew what I was afraid of, what was running through my mind, he winked slyly at me. Yet, if this new baby was a girl, Mamma would finally have what she wanted...a daughter to be proud of. It filled my bones with a chill that hurt, and it shamed me that Frank saw it. The moment didn't last, and we gathered around the table.

Griddle cakes, eggs, fried ham steaks, pan fried potatoes with onions and garlic, coffee, and buttermilk served as our meal. Mamma was a fine cook, and though I ate with relish, I found myself finding fault with the food. Wisely I kept my grumblings to myself, but by the time we'd finished and Mamma was brushing my hair for school, I was in a foul mood. A baby...the thought kept drumming through my mind, a baby to replace me.

Shoes buckled on, a wrapped brown paper sack with my lunch in it, I headed off to school, the small building an easy walk away. Other children began to appear from the other houses that shaded the horizon along the carriage road. Sarah Gruff, Bonnie Alder, Lettie Harris, Alma Moore, in pairs or in threes they joined up, talking and giggling. It was only normal that they avoided my company, not even looking my way when they thought I would see. The boys appeared also, louder, rowdy, roughhousing and tussling along the road. They too, ignored my presence.

The small bell was chiming happily when we arrived in the yard, and all the children broke into a joyous run. They wanted to be lined up and neat when Miss Hazel opened the doors and I scowled, slowing. I hated lining up with them, and always preferred to be in the back. I felt more than saw someone come up behind me when the doors opened, but I did not turn to look. Miss Hazel's face brightened as she stepped aside, ushering the front of the line inside.

"Good morning children! Come in and sit down, we have a lot to learn today!"

Happy voices bubbled, greetings, enthusiastic news, concern from some of the parents, and then I walked by her and Miss Hazel's hand fell gently on my shoulder.

"Good morning, Jaynie." I stopped, but did not look up.

"Ma'am."

"Is there anything you would like to share with the class today?"

"No ma'am." I kept my voice neutral, but my heart seemed to jump a little.

"No?" My teacher sounded disappointed, but I kept my gaze fixed forward. "I had heard there was some new developments at the Colter home, but perhaps your mother hasn't spoken to you yet."

I was not a liar, so I kept silent. I knew exactly what she'd hoped I would say, but my lips stayed sealed. Other people knew, people outside of the family knew about the baby before I did! Resentment built up quickly and I ground my jaw hard, clenching my fingers tightly into balls. I was trying not to feel like an outsider in my own home, but I was failing. Miss Hazel was puzzled by my lack of reaction, but she also had grown accustomed to my staunch disinterest and apathy.

"Find your seat, Jaynie. Class! Attention please!" She stepped around me, gesturing at whoever had come in behind me. "We have a new student. Say hello to Nettie Sadler. Her family had just moved into the area, and I expect you all to make her feel welcome."

I was just sitting down when I happened to see her standing shyly at the front of the class, and I froze. Surprise flooded me and I had to clip my mouth closed before Miss Hazel caught me gawking. The girl had skin the color of rain soaked earth! I had never seen anyone like that before, and couldn't look away. Her hair was gleaming, roped into twin thick braids that hung just over the edge of her shoulders. Wide nostrils, full lips, a small, slightly rounded chin, ears that seemed a little too big for her head, I couldn't help but stare.

Intrigued, I watched from the corner of my eye as she shuffled to an empty seat the next row over. Miss Hazel had turned away, and when the girl started to sit down the boy behind her kicked the chair out of reach, glaring.

"Not near me you don't," he snarled softly. "Go sit in back with the Injun."

I felt my muscles tighten, anger washing through my body at the jab, but just watched. The girl hung her head a little lower and moved in a wide circle around him, coming to a stop at the empty desk next to mine. She glanced at me questioningly, but I had turned away. Where she sat was her choice, and I wanted no part of it. The chair scraped softly as she pulled it away and sat down.

"A slave and a savage," hissed Sammy Hayes meanly. "Ain't nobody gonna be able to sit in those chairs again."

A row of giggles made the teacher turn and look sharply at us all, but there was nothing to rebuke. Her stern eyes went from face to face, but she said nothing, just writing in large letters on the blackboard.

"Today we are going to learn about gravity, class." She looked at us expectantly. "Who can tell me what that is?"