The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Andreeeeeu!”

Someone is shouting my name in a high-pitched tone.

“Andreeeeeu!”

Again, my name. This time, the voice is closer.

“Andreeeeeu!”

And a third time. Every time it’s louder than the last. Because it’s getting closer and closer.

“Andreeeeeu!”

Shit, don’t come! Ignore me! I didn’t do anything to you, so leave me alone!

*Knock, knock!*

“Andreu, open the door!”

Aaaaah! I’m not here! Lalala! I pretend I didn’t hear anything while hiding behind the wardrobe.

“Andreu! Stop pretending you aren’t home, I’ve seen you come inside!”

Shit! She saw me!

*Patam!*

With a loud noise, the door is smashed open and her figure appears on the doorway. It’s like in a horror film, because I closed the lights to pretend I’m not here… so I can only see her silhouette.

*Flash!* Lightning strikes at this moment, making it even more terrifying as it momentarily illuminates her expression. Well, this isn’t true. There’s no storm. But it would truly fit the current image.

As she turns on the lights, I can properly see her face. Oh, shit! I’m soooo doomed. The mix of anger and expectancy on her face means this is going to end badly for me.

‘Mom, dad, thank you for giving birth to this stupid child.’

As I’m thinking this, she stares at me with a murderous gaze and says.

“Soooo… What are you doing with the lights turned off? Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

‘Ok, think, Andreu, think! You must choose carefully what to answer! This might be your most important decision ever.’

“Oh, hi, Clara! I didn’t hear you. What do you want?” I say, as naturally as I possibly can.

‘Oh, shit! Nicely done, you dumbass! I didn’t hear you? And what’s the reason I have the lights turned off? Couldn’t I think of anything more plausible?’

Her expression darkens for a moment. Oooooh, no! But then it suddenly brightens and a grin appears on her face. I’m going to die! Somebody save me! Her grin means something even worse than if she were angry is going to happen to me!

I’m unconsciously trembling. After a while of staring at me, she finally opens her mouth.

“Sooo… I can see you are free right now...” Oh, no! I can imagine what she is going to say and I would prefer being dead than doing it! I DON’T WANT to dive into her dungeon again! “... and since you are free, can you give me a hand with leveling my player level?”

She then looks at me with puppy eyes and asks.

“Please, can you dive into my dungeon again and point out what I can improve? And then die, so that I obtain the extra xp from killing the invader? Pretty please!?”

It came! Nonononono! Spare me from having to help you with your dungeon! It’s already been three days since you got the game and I couldn’t sleep properly since then!

Also, the puppy eyes only work if the other person isn’t scared shitless because of you. There’s no way I’m going to fall for them right now! Hahaha! I’m immune!

‘Think fast, Andreu! Your next answer is even more important than the last one! You CAN’T fail this one!’

“I-I’m sorry, Clara. B-b-but I have an important exam this week and m-must spend this afternoon studying for it.”

What is this? Blood tears? Oh, I’m spilling blood tears because of my own words… This is a disaster. The end of the world! I expressly reserved today’s afternoon to play for as long as I wanted… but now…

This might be the hardest decision I’ve ever taken. To sacrifice today’s gaming session. But I can’t spend more nights without sleeping… She left me with no other options. And I don’t want to disappoint my little sister by telling her I’m scared of her dungeon mobs.

And the exam? Oh, that one is a lie. We do have a few, but it is next week. So I still have time to study some other day. Or to not study because I’m playing games, which is what happens sometimes.

“Nooo, please Andreu! Can’t you do it for your little sister?” She asks again.

The mix of puppy eyes and pouting is adorable. But I already said it, it doesn’t work when the target is terrified. And I surely am right now.

“N-no. Th-there’s no other way. I must spend today studying for the exam.”

The worst part of all this is that now, I’ll actually have to spend the time studying or she’s going to find out I lied. And god spare me from this happening!

“Aww… What a shame! Now that we finally can play together and you don’t have time because of the exams…”

“Ahaha…” I make a weird laugh. I mean, it was a lie, after all.

But don’t you lie too, Clara! We’ve always been playing together! Other games, of course. It’s just that since you knew you must be level 3 to play with other people, you have been pestering me to dive into your dungeon and die all the time! So that you can level up faster!

“Well, maybe I can help you with something else that doesn’t require me to dive into your dungeon…” I say, trying to appease her.

It’s mostly me feeling guilty. But I am ready to help her with anything… as long as it doesn’t require me to dive into her dungeon, of course.

“Nice! Then… What can I do to progress faster? I’m already level two, and at the rate I’m leveling, I’m going to reach level 3 soon too, but I’m struggling with the faction’s ‘special resource’: the Despair. How can I obtain it easily?”

“First of all… wait! You’re already level two!? How did you reach it in just three days!?”

I know she finished the dungeon really fast too, but this and that are completely different things. You need to actually play the game to raise the level. Or to have a lot of people diving and dying into it…

“It’s really easy! After I started to play the game, I told a few guys from my class that I had DMA, and a few of them offered to help me level up.”

I’m skeptical of the word ‘offered’, but I’m not going to comment on it. I don’t want to die yet… Or to be forced to dive into her dungeon because of a slip of tongue…

Without knowing about what I’m thinking, she continues to talk.

“And it’s thanks to them that I’m already level two! If it weren’t for the death timers, I might be level 3 already…”

She says this last part with a face full of regrets.

“I’m sorry, Clara, but I lost you here… The death timers? What do you mean that the death timers are what’s making you get less xp?”

The death timer is something that the game has implemented to abuse dungeon farming and xp boosting other accounts. After you die in a dungeon, you get a ‘death timer’ that prevents you from invading other dungeons for some time. They aren’t too long, starting at five minutes. But if you get multiple death timers in a short spawn of time, they get longer after each successive death.

“Yes! The death timers! They dive into my dungeon and die all the time, so their death timers get longer every time and they can’t provide me with more xp! If only they didn’t exist…!”

Yep, that’s exactly why they exist. To prevent this kind of abuse.

“...ahaha!”

I don’t know what to say. Are they masochists? They must be, right? There’s no way a sane person would repeatedly invade a dungeon only to die every time…

“Let’s forget about the levels for now…” Yeah, I don’t want to have anything to do with people this weird. “You asked how to get more Despair, right?”

“Yes, that’s what I need the most! Because I can’t actually buy or create most stuff without it!”

Of course, this is what ‘special resources’ do. They are the most important resource for the faction. Just look at me! I can’t create units (other than the Stitched) without having Bodies!

“Hmmm…. Let me think a little…” I say. “If I’m not wrong, your faction’s special resource is Despair, and it’s obtained from killing enemies by reducing their SOU stat to zero, right?”

I barely remember Ricard talking about it in one of his drilling sessions. The key word here is ‘barely’, because he can’t stop talking, so it ends up going in one ear and out of the other.

“Yes! But it’s too hard! Because most enemies die because the HP reaches zero before I can reduce their SOU stat!”

Well, it’s true that it can be difficult to kill enemies in other ways than dealing damage.

“Don’t cry, Clara! It’s still easier to obtain your special resource than mine!”

Yeah, it’s me who wants to cry here. It’s even harder to obtain the bodies of other units, so don’t complain. You don’t have the right to cry if I don’t cry first, ok!?

“So, how can I easily obtain it?”

“I don’t think it’s ever going to be easy, so stop complaining or change faction…” I start saying, but she interrupts me.

“Change faction!? What are you saying! They are the cutest ones! There’s no other faction that can even compare, so I’m sticking with them! I just need some help to obtain the Despair, that’s all!”

Here go my plans to make her change factions! Destroyed before I could properly make them! I would be able to sleep if you change factions, Clara… Why, god!? Why couldn’t you make it work…?

“Ok, ok… Calm down. If you aren’t considering a faction change, we can only think about how to improve your dungeon and skills. First of all, I think that Despair is easier to obtain from invaders. Because in a Dungeon Invasion, as you fight against lots of enemies, your HP, EP and MP slowly get depleted. If you add your units passive MP draining, they are going to die because of SOU reaching zero sooner or later.”

“But they could also die from HP reaching zero…” She complains.

“That’s true, but if you add other MP draining skills to your units, it’s going to be even easier.”

“MP draining skills! I didn’t know they existed so I’m not using them! Hahaha!”

Clara, this should be the first thing you looked for… I mean, it’s your faction who needs it, not me!

*Sigh* “Clara, you really… Anyway! The easiest way for you to obtain Despair is going to be while defending the dungeon, but you also need a way to obtain it by playing yourself! After all, you can’t rely on other players invading your dungeon to obtain your most important resource… What if nobody comes?”

“Oh, but I have this solved! I have some slaves that continuously come into my dungeon only to die…”

Did I hear it wrong? You used the word ‘slaves’ there, Clara… What am I going to do with you? I’ll feign I didn’t notice you talking about slaves. Because I don’t want to have anything to do with it.

“This isn’t going to be enough. And you also need a way to obtain the Despair yourself! Otherwise you might have to wait a lot of time for you to have enough Despair to create whatever you want to!”

“Ehehe! That’s true!” She says while striking her tongue out.

“So, I recommend that you bring a lot of units with you during Dungeon Invasions, so that you can quickly drain the MP from the enemies. And it’s also important the kind of dungeon you are diving into. In your case, I would avoid the dungeons from the elves and demons because of their high MP pools. Go to the orc’s dungeons. They have very low MP and should be easy to kill by SOU depletion.”

“Ok! Thank you Andreu!” She thanks me. Then, her expression changes and complains. “But they are so ugly… I don’t really want to go there…”

For once, our aesthetic sense matches. At last! After the problem with the ‘cute’ Abyss creatures…

“Hahaha! There’s no other way that I know of. Maybe, you can find a dungeon specialized for Abyss farming… But it’s up to you to find it because I have no idea.”

And I’m not interested in knowing about it either. Abyss stuff? No thanks. So good luck.

“Thank you anyway, Andreu! See you later, after you stop studying and can help me level up!”

Yeah… No thanks. I’ll pass on entering your dungeon again.

“....ahaha! See you later!”

Before finally leaving my room, she looks at me one last time and says.

“I’m going to obtain some Despair, then! If you need anything, I’ll be in my room!”

“Have fun! And good luck!”

Yeah, poor souls. Might you find peace after death. I can feel you, I’m in a similar situation here. Because I must study when I should be playing the game right now. I can also feel THE despair.

“I hate my bad luck… Clara, I know you aren’t doing this on purpose against me, but your brother is suffering here!” I say while opening the college notes.

 

After getting tired of studying, I decided to risk playing the game anyway. The result? Clara came to my room, found me playing and got angry at me for lying. Her favorability almost reached negative levels.

But after I apologized for lying and telling her that I really dislike the Abyss creatures, and that I had nightmares… She said it was ok, and that she would forgive me as long as I kept helping her with the other stuff not related to invading her dungeon.

Lucky me! Hahaha! I’m finally free of the nightmares! And can continue to help my little sister without diving into her dungeon! All according to the plan (made after the plan’s resolution). Also, because I studied earlier than I usually would, I got better marks in the next exams.