The Love They Never Had

"Young Master, why are you doing this to me? I didn't...I never had the intention to..." "Why are you shaking like a leaf? It isn't like you weren't expecting this to happen one day, right? Isn't that why you have taken extra care of me all this time? You have taken care of me more than she ever has, so..." "No, you don't understand, I..." "You...have no intentions of serving me. You never did, did you? Even though I am the fastest way to secure your future and wealth. In fact, you are terrified to have me coming too close to you, even though it is my right as a man to take on as many concubines as I please." "You will not." "How can you be so sure about that?" "Because you haven't so far. You...will not break your promise to her of being with others." "What are you talking about? Am I not in this moment alone with a woman whom I intend to take on as my concubine? A woman that I am prepared to sleep with and change her life forever?" "I am not talking about the monster that you just locked up. I am talking about...the other one." "The other one who?" "The woman who sent me here to your house to serve...to look after you in her absence. Because she knew that your...woman has never been sincere in her feelings towards you."

I had to admit that line hit me in the heart a little. I knew that all the women in my life liked to act as if they knew everything, but Yeon's perceptive skills had once again kicked in at the right time. All this time, I had been angry at her when she had just been taking care of me quietly all along. Once again. No, I had to stop this pattern I had of torturing Yeon when she didn't give me what I wanted, when she didn't surrender herself to me and when she kept me in the dark about her own plans that I just couldn't keep up with in time. But how could I hold that against her when she had learned how to play these games from me? How else did she alway successively push me away when her life turned upside down over and over again 'to protect me'?It was because I had done it to her first, constantly. But that was another lifetime ago, and she knew the circumstances that I was facing at the time...

"Young Master? What are you thinking about? Are you..." "I am not crying! Just...just sit down and enjoy the food that the servant will bring...from the food containers that you bring over from the brothel. How else would the servants have found food this late at night at such short notice?" "So you knew all along. So will we...." "You will cooperate with me, and in exchange for telling me everything you know, I will either free you or take you in as a concubine in name only. I have already looked into your background and I have sent for your family to visit you here. The other maid...that you came with that you treat as a stranger in my presence; I have ordered her to clean up a wing in this home for you. I am also aware of your family's issues and I have a small property very close to this one that I can hand over to you so that they can live there in their former glory. Your family will be well provided for under my name and resources, but only if you tell me everything that I need to know. Even her most intimate secrets, no matter how personal they are.

"You...you will really do all of this? For me? Just for some care and information? You will...take me in? And give me a status before this woman that you keep by your side? But...why?" "Would you believe me if I told you that I have only kept her to...get a rise out of the one who sent you here? You do not need to look at me like that, I know it was a stupid move on my part, but I was desperate at the time and I had no other options. So let me hear everything that you have complied before I ask my questions."

"The young...woman that you keep in your home; she uses you, for her own intentions, her revenge against you and her own dreams that she started to have only after..." "I understand. Carry on." "She has more sinister intentions for defying your orders for the parties that she continues to hold every time you leave the home." "And what could that possibly be?" "She is looking for other...support from the noble families that she invites. She is...looking to marry, because you refuse to do it. And because..." "Because she has already gone through most of my money and no longer sees me as a useful asset, never mind a human being in need of warmth and affection just like every other man needs." "She doesn't love you, she doesn't respect you and she doesn't even treat you like a human being at all!" "Is there anything else? Because I cannot help but to notice some strange behaviour from other's about me this past year."

"Young Master, please let us speak no more about her. She is entirely too unpleasant to talk about..." "Your family will arrive in the morning. If you want me help, I need to know absolutely everything so I know how to move forward." "Alright, I will tell you, only if you is down and eat something as well." I had no choice but to comply with her request, no mater how I longed that it would come out of somebody else's pretty little mouth. 'Well?" She has spoken badly about you since the first time that you started to deny her requests." "What has she said?" "She says that you are obsessed with prostitutes...because of your mother..." "Enough! I only said that to her in anger a few times and she dares to..." she tells everyone that you have lost your manhood some time ago and that is why you have no children yet. According to her, you have no idea how to please a woman, so you have become hostile towards them."

I really thought that I had been over my worst moments when my father died, but I was clearly wrong. That man had humiliated me for my entire life and now it looks like I had been left alone with someone to match his cruelness, his hatred and loathing for me and someone who just saw me as a tool for revenge without any care for my life, my reputation or my well-being. But if I didn't break free from this now, then I never would. So I needed to hear every vile insult she had put on my name as motivation for me to start breathing again, so I could continue to repent for my sins. Nam Jeon, Han Hui-Jee, the Lady Min and all of my enemies in the place had completely depleted all of my energy and I just simply couldn't function anymore. My soul had left with Yeon as soon as I chose the wrong girl and my heart had shrunk into a cold black stone even before I realised what I had done to the both of us.

"Tell me the rest and make it quick." "She says that you use your power to oppress the woman that you have animosity towards. That you torment women because you have no idea how to be with them at all." "So how comes I haven't been approached with this rumour directly by others?" "It is because of your friendly presence at the brothel where Yeon is. All of he kisaengs know you, you are friendly with them and..." "and what?" "Everyone knows how you funded the brothel itself..apart from Yeon. No one has told her yet." "So, Yeon has once again known everything, she has once again kept me in the dark and instead of telling me, she sorted it out behind my back once again as if she is my saviour or something...when I was supposed to be hers."