NOVEL NEXT Chapter 165
165. The Emotions I Had Suppressed [SIDE – Raize]
A few hours have passed since I ended up staying at Mila’s place. It’s hard to tell time in the forest, especially in this mysterious space, but it’s definitely night now.
When Mila suggested I take a bath, I soaked in the open-air bath and then returned to the room she lent me.
Soon, I’ll fall asleep, and then Arx and I will head back to Ortia.
Back to the usual daily routine, just like before.
Yet, in my heart, a strange feeling loomed, like a mist I couldn’t quite identify.
I sat down on a fluffy single bed that looked unused for a while, lost in thought.
What is this feeling? Come to think of it, I might have felt a trace of it a little while ago.
“What… is this?”
I placed a hand on my chest, trying to pinpoint the cause of the feeling, like a fish bone stuck in my throat.
“Mind if I intrude?”
At that moment, the door opened without a knock, and Mila entered.
“M-Mila!?”
“No need to be so cautious. I just came by for a little chat.”
Mila was holding two wooden mugs filled with cocoa.
Almost forcefully, she handed me one, then sat down next to me and took a sip from her cup.
…It’s warm. She used the cocoa powder I brought as a souvenir.
White steam drifted up, filling the air with a sweet scent. I took a sip of cocoa, as she prompted me.
“Not good with formalities, so I’ll get straight to it. …Why do you only play the support role?”
She looked at me seriously as she asked this.
But I didn’t understand her question, so I answered quickly.
“…Well, a mage usually plays support, right? Plus, I can help Arx that way…”
“That’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking why you only play that role.”
Her words left me even more confused. It’s natural for a mage to play support—
—No, I realize it now. I’m just pretending not to notice.
“…I’m afraid. Afraid of growing apart from him.”
As I said this, I surprised myself. I hadn’t expected those words to come out.
It was as if a ripe fruit had fallen from the tree—those words that slipped out were undeniably my own.
I followed that momentum, slowly piecing together my thoughts.
“…When Arx and I first met, I was level 11, and he was level 4. I had the higher level. But now, as you can see…”
I’m level 23. Arx… is level 61.
The gap between us had grown to a point where we couldn’t even be compared.
“Last time, when we went into a dungeon together, he and Laura kept taking down stronger enemies. And yet, all I could do was watch his back and support him from afar.”
With every word, it felt like I was clearing a dammed-up flow.
All the emotions I’d held back came rushing out. I just kept talking, unable to stop.
“He calls me his partner, but honestly, with my level, I can’t keep up with him. I’m weak, and just doing my best to stay close.”
Mila listened without interrupting, which only made my words come out faster.
“In truth, he probably wants to get even stronger, but I’m just holding him back. If Laura were his partner, he could go further. I’m just too weak—”
“Stop whining!”
Mila’s sharp voice cut through my words.
Startled, I looked at her. Her gaze was unwavering as she looked at me.
“Why do you think Arx trusts you to watch his back? It’s because he trusts you! Do you even understand what it means to be trusted by an adventurer in life-or-death situations?”
“But… there must be someone better suited than me…”
“Listen, for Arx, there’s no better partner than you. He chose you. So, what are you going to do about that?”
Hearing her strong words, tears started streaming down my face.
What is this feeling? It’s embarrassing, but at the same time, it feels like I can be honest.
“Raize, you need to decide. Right now—either leave Arx or become stronger so you can stand beside him. Those are your only options!”
I wiped my tears. Then, from deep within the heaviness in my chest, I found my words.
“…I want to be stronger! I want to stay by his side, always!”
At that moment, Mila pulled my tear-stained self into a tight hug.
Warmth. I felt a kindness that seemed to soothe my heart.
“That’s what I wanted to hear. Raize, you’re smart. That’s why you overthink things. But—it’s important to be honest, too.”
“Do you think… I can become strong? Strong enough to be his true partner?”
“Don’t be silly. You’re the only partner he’ll ever need. Now and forever.”
She held me tighter, gently stroking my head.
“You’re strong, Raize. And you can become even stronger than anyone.”
I sobbed into her chest. My cries echoed softly in the room. Normally, I’d be too embarrassed to let anyone see me cry—but this time was different.
I will become strong. Strong enough to stand confidently beside Arx as a mage worthy of his side.