Sweet Sugar Candyman

#03

I was contemplating whether to spray the perfume I received as a birthday gift when I decided to quietly set it down. Outside the door, I could hear the busy sounds of things being moved around. Feeling uncomfortable just sitting still in the room, I quietly opened the door and stepped outside.

“Are you all set?”

As I stepped into the living room, I could see the items piled up near the entrance. A box filled with blankets and winter clothes. It was neither too much nor too little. Seeing the moving boxes lined up at the entrance made the reality of leaving sink in. My heart, which I thought had calmed down, began to pound as if it would burst through my ribcage.

“Is there anything else to take? Did you forget anything?”

“No, there’s nothing.”

“Well, if you forgot something, you can send it later. Then shall we move these to the trunk and go say hello to the neighbors?”

I nodded obediently. My father rubbed his palms together and tilted his head as if pondering which part of the box to grab.

“I’ll go in—”

A gentle voice floated in through the open front door, which had been left ajar while moving the items. It was my aunt. My father quickly lifted his head to greet the neighbors.

“Did you come? Oh dear, we should have gone to see you. What brings you out?”

“When I heard Cheongmyeong was leaving, I couldn’t just sit still.”

My uncle smiled broadly. He was holding a large cooler in his hands. My mother, who had been bustling around in the kitchen, quickly rushed over at the arrival of guests.

“We should have gone to see you!”

My mother, who had said the same thing as my father, didn’t stop them from coming in. My uncle, perhaps feeling the weight of the cooler, placed it on top of the items he had to take and let out a sigh of relief.

“I made some side dishes for Saheon to eat with you. There are some seasoned vegetables, kimchi, and side dishes, and I made stir-fried pork too… I got a bit greedy, so it’s heavy.”

A few months ago, my uncle had retired, and his new hobby was cooking by following recipes. The problem was that he tended to make too much because he had a big appetite.

“I told you to make just enough. How much can two people eat?”

“Well, I can just share with Chaehun.”

“Before that, everything will spoil.”

As my aunt scolded him, a small laugh mixed with the busy sounds of moving. My mother seemed to have stopped preparing food as she checked the side dishes my uncle had brought.

“Come in. Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“No, it’s okay. You must be busy moving, so I’ll come by later. I just came to drop off the side dishes today.”

My aunt waved her hands dismissively and smiled. Spotting me standing awkwardly in one corner of the entrance, she quickly approached and ruffled my hair.

“Our Cheongmyeong, living away for college and all. When did you grow up so much? Huh?”

I lowered my knees slightly to make it easier for my aunt to ruffle my hair. At some point, I found myself looking down at her. She smiled brightly and tidied up my messy hair.

“Please take good care of Saheon. He may be older, but he acts like a child. I wonder if he’s cleaned up the house. I told him to eat well and keep the place tidy since you’re living together.”

“We should be the ones taking care of him. Since we’re living together, of course, we should contribute to the meals, right, son?”

My father patted my shoulder and laughed heartily. I gave a small, almost inaudible response that was neither an affirmation nor a denial.

“Shouldn’t we be leaving soon? I’ll help with the moving.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not that much; we can handle it.”

Even as we bickered about whether I would help with the moving, the end result was that we all headed down to the underground parking lot together.

As we took the narrow elevator down to the underground parking lot, I saw a car parked close to the door. My father opened the trunk and began stacking the items we had brought down, one for each person.

After loading the box of winter clothes, the suitcase, and the cooler filled with side dishes, the trunk was packed tightly. My father, checking to see if anything was left behind, looked around the floor before closing the trunk with a grunt. A heavy thud echoed through the underground parking lot.

“Thank you for your help. We finished it all in one go thanks to you.”

“No, it’s nothing. Since Cheongmyeong is leaving, this is the least we can do.”

My aunt patted my hair again. Having been caught off guard from behind, my hair was a mess. I unconsciously lowered my knees to make it easier for her to pat my head, causing both my aunt and uncle to burst into laughter simultaneously.

“You must be feeling strange.”

The gentle touch that felt like petting a puppy turned soft. After a light pat, my aunt continued speaking.

“It’s been a while since Chaehun and Saheon moved out, but if Cheongmyeong goes too, the 12th floor will be so quiet.”

“Is that so? I feel like I’ve raised them all, so I feel relieved.”

Though my father said that, there was a bittersweet expression on his face. My parents and my aunt and uncle fell silent for a moment, seemingly lost in memories. Having moved to this unfamiliar place and witnessing the youngest child among them become independent must have stirred up complex feelings. My mother clapped her hands to lighten the mood and gathered everyone’s attention.

“Look at me. Wasn’t Captain Kwon’s flight arriving at 11:30? If we leave for Incheon Airport now, it might be cutting it close.”

“Oh my, you’re right. We should go now. Ah, teacher, thank you for picking up Saheon. You don’t have to go out of your way; you can just head home directly.”

“Oh, how can I go into a house without its owner? It would be nice to take the captain since he must be tired. Cheongmyeong’s dad, if you’ve loaded everything, let’s head out now.”

Just as the farewells seemed to be wrapping up, my uncle pulled out his wallet to give me some pocket money, reigniting the moment.

In the end, my uncle was the victor. He stuffed a rolled-up 10,000 won bill into my pocket, effectively shutting down any objections I might have had about the flight being delayed.

After the awkward exchange ended with apologetic faces, I hugged my mother, aunt, and uncle in turn. Even though I wouldn’t be gone forever, it was hard to take my leave.

The three of them continued to wave until my father and I got into the car and drove out of the parking lot. As I checked their figures in the rearview mirror and out the window, I too waved my hand repeatedly and nodded my head.

The car, which had been moving slowly until it reached the road in front of the apartment, began to pick up speed once it turned onto the main road. My father took advantage of a red light to set the destination to Incheon Airport.

A mechanical voice announced the estimated arrival time. Suddenly, the reality I had momentarily forgotten rushed back in like a tide. It felt as if my heart was dropping.

After turning left at the intersection, the car soon entered the highway. My father, having increased the speed compared to the main road, turned on the radio. Soft music mixed with the quiet stillness.

I stared blankly at the familiar streets outside. Perhaps because it was a weekday morning, the road was clear and moving smoothly. My father, noticing my tense demeanor as I rested my hands on my knees, spoke up through the rearview mirror.

“Hyung, have you figured out how to get from home to school?”

“Yeah… the 3300 bus.”

“We still have a little time before orientation, so take a good look around the area with Hyung. Familiarize yourself with what’s nearby. Help out at home too. Cheongmyeong cooks well, so make sure you both eat well.”

As my father continued to give advice, I nodded without responding. Seeing my reaction in the rearview mirror, my father smiled playfully, raising the corners of his mouth.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen Saheon, right? Has it been about three years?”

“Yeah.”

I mumbled, trailing off. My father gently wrapped his hands around the steering wheel and continued.

“Now that I think about it, every time Cheongmyeong came back to Korea, something always came up, so I couldn’t see him. I’ve seen Chaehun a few times, though…”

I forced a smile. The reason there had always been something going on was that I had been the one causing it, but my father seemed oblivious to my expression as he kept talking.

“You used to say you were going to marry Saheon when you were little. Do you remember?”

“I don’t remember.”

I quickly shot back, perhaps a bit too quickly. I realized my mistake in an instant, but my father didn’t seem to catch on.

“You don’t remember? You used to say every day until kindergarten that you were going to marry Hyung. You were so cute back then, and now you’re off to college…”

My father seemed to get lost in his memories as he spoke. Perhaps because he was a Korean language teacher, he had always been sensitive, and now he had become a solitary driver, pressing his lips together. It was a relief for me, who had obviously been lying.