Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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The Wizard Boy was deep in thought about how to deal with the Bard who had collapsed into a deep sleep right in front of him.

‘No, if I sell him to a hunter… and then use his body to find a brothel, I’d certainly fetch a high price. But, perhaps I could use his eyes myself.’

—

For some reason, a feeling of “this shouldn’t be done” washed over him.

He didn’t know why.

It felt as if his thoughts were being forcibly turned in a different direction.

—

He was, after all, a moral and good person.

He couldn’t be a hero who couldn’t stand injustice, but he was simply a petty citizen who wouldn’t cross the line as a human.

In the first place, he was a wandering wizard—no, not even a wizard, but a scroll-user who had never belonged to the Mage Tower or the Guild…

“This is absurd…”

First, let’s discern the situation.

The Wizard Boy thought to himself.

By drawing special symbols with ink and mana, and transferring those onto animal hides or paper, a scroll is created.

It was a blessing given to humanity by the gods of magic, allowing even fools like himself to use magic.

“[Discern]”

The magic of discernment.

It’s the basics used by merchants and wizards to identify the state, value, and general blessings and curses of an object.

Considering that wizards generally craft their own magical tools and sign contracts with various vendors, it could be regarded as an essential magic.

Matching its reputation and simple spell structure, its accuracy is nearly 100%.

In other words, the information he was seeing was accurate… it must be.

‘But this…’

Five blessings.

Seven curses.

It was a state that an ordinary human could not possibly endure.

He tried to figure out the types of blessings and curses but was faced with something far too profound… something he couldn’t possibly discern with his low-level scroll.

Was someone intentionally bringing an ordinary human to such a state? But who? Is it really possible to artificially recreate the blessings and curses of gods?

Wait a second… what if?

‘Are the eyes genuine?’

He had seen many humans who claimed to possess divine bodies, but few of them were the real deal. This would be his first time seeing the genuine article with his own two eyes.

If it’s not a counterfeit, but the real divine eye… it would sell for an astronomical amount.

He had initially thought it was merely a weak charm magic imbued with a magical eye, but this was beyond imagination.

Perhaps even a dragon might be charmed by it.

‘The reason I’m not enchanted is that the other party hasn’t tried… or maybe I still don’t know how to use it.’

Certainly, there were many strange points.

This Bard was acting in a way that didn’t match his profession. Enjoying the gazes and attention of others, completely different from the other bards who acted like brothel harlots.

He didn’t even appear to handle his instrument skillfully.

While other bards treasured their instruments as if their lives depended on them, this girl carelessly carried hers around.

It felt out of place.

Even if one came from the countryside, not knowing anything about one’s body? That’s nonsense.

‘In conclusion… a runaway experiment from the Mage Tower or sect. In the worst case, it might be related to the Mad King.’

A force with enough blessings and curses to conduct such an experiment, and also possessing considerable funds and manpower. There aren’t many possibilities left.

He was tangled up in troublesome matters.

‘…The Mad King is dangerous.’

He had initially thought to simply offer a piece of advice, deeming her as a somewhat dim-witted girl, but he could end up losing his life if things went wrong.

If he had known this, he would have kept his mouth shut.

“Ugh…”

Sleep talking…? Really?

No, it’s not that it’s irrational. If there’s a group with that many blessings and curses, preparing for the possibility of an experiment going wrong is only natural.

They might have even infused one curse related to paralysis or narcolepsy.

After all, there were cases where the slave mark was inscribed to prepare for being far from the slave master.

‘…What a pitiful human.’

He wasn’t so kind-hearted as to feel sympathy or compassion. He was just a vaguely meddlesome scroll-user passing by.

‘Can I use her for my purposes?’

To be honest, he felt he could seize her body and regain his original form.

First, let’s wake her up and briefly explain things.

She probably doesn’t know her own state properly.

And that would be that.

‘I want to avoid getting involved. And… I have things to do, too.’

Right. I’ll show just the bare minimum of consideration I can and then make my escape.

However, there was a strangely nagging part. Something that he couldn’t resist being curious about.

‘What does “that wasn’t me” mean?’

Is she saying she has a split personality?

“Hyahh—!”

“…!”

The Bard finally let out a bizarre scream and opened her eyes.

*

Suddenly losing consciousness and falling asleep.

It seems like it was due to the “narcolepsy” I induced.

Ugh, if I had known, I wouldn’t have included the narcolepsy trait.

It might have been fine in the game, but now that it has become reality, it’s a horrifying trait.

Falling asleep randomly once a day, with the duration also being random, and during that time, no matter what happens, I wouldn’t notice a thing.

It’s basically like inviting death.

But, for now, I seem to be maintaining a high level of intelligence. No, I feel that way. I don’t really know what’s going on in reality.

I look around. Let’s assess the situation.

And then, I see the face I noticed just before I collapsed. It was the young Wizard Boy.

“…Oh?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“I do remember.”

“But why…?”

“Uh, it’s a bit awkward to say, but it’s not common for someone to collapse unexpectedly and then be brought into their room to be made to sleep, right?”

“Nobody leaves when a stranger collapses right in front of them.”

“…You’re a girl, though?”

“Yes. Can you tell just by looking? What of it?”

Ah, in this world, there are no lawsuits.

If it were modern society, you would be in a very dangerous situation. Wizard brat!

It seems like this is one of the rooms belonging to the Adventurer’s Guild. At least it’s close to where I stay, so that’s fortunate? Being a nuisance by overstaying is not ideal, and I need to quickly resolve the herbal request.

Gathering my scattered belongings, I start to leave.

As I clumsily gather my instruments and bag, I could feel the young Wizard Boy’s gaze fixed on me.

“…Do you have something to say?”

“I’ve never seen anyone seriously listen to what I say dressed like that. It’s one thing to say a foolish wizard is precious to the Guild… but still.”

“Isn’t it a bit odd to start doubting someone before they’ve even done anything?”

“That’s true.”

“So… why are you staring?”

“I have something to say.”

Hmm, is it possible that he’s smitten by my beauty? After all, I do have preferences, you know. I like slender women who are virgins. Really!

Yes. Right now, I’m declaring my narcissism inwardly.

Both men and women, comparing them to my perfect sculpture is trivial.

I can’t help but reject your confession.

Young Wizard.

It’s basically a crime! You’re too young!

“…You should probably change the color of your eyes a bit.”

“…Huh?”

“No, I explained it kindly right before you collapsed. There are people collecting body parts resembling the bodies of the gods.”

“And?”

“Your eyes are… ugh, pink. The pink-eyed goddess, who is one of the fractured deities of love. It’s a symbol of a god, you know?”

Ah, that’s a setting I was unaware of.

So, there are humans out there hunting body parts that vaguely resemble a goddess, and my perfectly sculpted character somehow matches the goddess.

It’s just like me.

I created an extraordinary appearance on par with a goddess. Is this my power?

Anyway, that’s not the important point.

Let’s think.

Changing the color of my eyes is a good idea. Okay, I understand that so far. But, do such dangerous individuals roam around even in this countryside? In the first place, isn’t that a crime?

With actual city guards and vigilantes around, the chances of being kidnapped during the day would be low, right?

…What a foolish thought.

Get it together.

You’re not that stupid.

“Is there a device for changing the color of eyes?”

“There’s a scroll.”

“Uh, I don’t have one. I don’t even know how to use it.”

“I can’t give it away for free either. I already used another scroll today.”

“Is this enough?”

I pulled out 1 denarius from my pocket.

I wasn’t quite sure how valuable it was since the naming convention for silver coins changed in this sequel, but it should only be worth about 10 coppers. This should be okay for one scroll.

Moreover, this kid who I just thought was a kind-hearted boy is surprisingly calculating, isn’t he?

Isn’t he actually an adult but pretending to be a child? With fantasy worlds, even such settings wouldn’t be a problem! Maybe half-dragons or fairies!

“Too much. Do you have any coppers?”

“Sadly, no.”

“…I’ll return 15 coppers. [Change]”

The wizard boy burned one of the scrolls with magic and pointed his finger towards my eyes.

I felt a bit uncomfortable.

…But, it seems the silver coins are worth more than I thought?

In my pocket, there’s believed to be 10 denarius worth of basic gear, so I guess I won’t have any issues eating for a while.

“How much is 1 denarius worth?”

“Right now, it’s 21 coppers, but it looks like it’s going to drop soon. There are rumors that the silver content is decreasing.”

“Thanks.”

“You seem to be getting more relaxed now.”

“Ah… it feels like we’ve quickly become familiar with each other.”

The boy looked at me as if I were pathetic and pointed towards the door with his hand.

It was a silent push to get me to leave.

.

.

.

‘Alright. Let’s hurry and go gather herbs.’

When I returned to my room and looked in the mirror, I felt a slight wave of melancholy seeing my reflection with changed black eyes.

It felt like my perfect customization was somewhat ruined.

‘…I didn’t ask about the duration of the change. I should ask next time we meet!’