Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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“Niamh.”

With my words, the air in the Adventurer’s Guild froze solid.

People stared at me in shock, and I, in turn, glared back at the furious adventurer with equally wide eyes.

The grim-faced adventurer glowered at me with an even more fearsome expression, thick veins bulging on his forehead and neck. Even his skin was slowly turning red!

Realizing the situation was turning against me, I quickly racked my brain.

‘Charm, I have a charm bonus. If I apologize right now…!’

But, unfortunately… the status window didn’t pop up with options contrary to my wishes.

If the status window doesn’t show options, I can’t receive status bonuses. In other words, I’m in a dire, life-threatening situation right now.

“What did you just say to me?”

“Ah, no… I mean…”

“If that’s not it, then what on earth does it mean? Is there another meaning aside from what I know?”

Veins were popping out from his arms, which looked thicker than my waist. Is this guy even human? Do regular humans have veins sticking out like that from their arms?!

B-but first, I needed to think of a plausible excuse.

What on earth could I say that would convince this guy?

Is this a saying to compliment someone’s mother back in my hometown? No way would he buy that excuse!

Well then, can I say I have a habit of cracking irreverent jokes? No, that would only get me beat up more.

‘This is the end of my otherworldly life…!’

In the end, I resigned myself to death.

I saw no way out of this situation. Better just to die. Being reborn would be faster. That punch is gonna hurt like hell.

Or maybe, if I’m lucky, I might die before I even feel the pain.

A health status of -5, huh?

Instant death! A nice, comfortable euthanasia!

I closed my eyes and awaited the punishment closing in on me.

And then, I heard a voice.

“…Are you seriously hitting on the newly joined female adventurer?”

“That’s none of your business, is it?”

A young boy’s voice, sounding a bit childish.

I slowly opened my closed eyes and squinted at the boy who had just entered the Adventurer’s Guild.

‘…A wizard.’

A rough-looking staff, albeit quite cobbled together.

And a black robe to boot.

Usually, in a battle between a wizard and a warrior of equal skill, the outcome is decided by the ‘distance’ between the two.

Right now, the warrior glaring at me with the intent to strike was at quite a distance from the wizard.

If… that wizard is the type who can’t stand injustice, he might come to the aid of an innocent citizen in peril. I felt a glimmer of hope.

Therefore, my optimal action right now is—

“P-Please help!”

A plea for help.

My eyes were darting around. I could feel the gazes of the onlookers training on me.

Perhaps the unspoken meaning behind their stares was, ‘Didn’t you just act rudely a moment ago? Sure, the guy was a bit rude too, but it didn’t warrant such words, did it?’

No, I didn’t mean to! It’s not my fault!

The grim adventurer turned to look at the wizard boy and then slowly opened his mouth.

The atmosphere was definitely more subdued than a moment ago.

“…What are you going to do? You’ve received a call for help.”

“Well, it certainly looks like he’s so smitten by a lovely lady that he couldn’t help but rush in.”

“That’s true. But did I come off as that threatening?”

“Your face looks threatening.”

“Ugh… I have no counterargument.”

Ding!

[Provocation] has ended.

…It’s over.

Unbeknownst to me, the muscles in my legs gave out, and I plopped down onto the ground.

The grim adventurer extended his hand towards me. As if to help me up.

…How nice of him.

“If you don’t want the help, then that’s fine.”

“Ah, I’ll take it.”

I took his hand and stood up.

His skin felt hard as a rock, giving me a slightly creepy sensation. If the effect of Provocation hadn’t fortuitously ended at the right moment, I might have actually been dead.

“Though it’s a bit late, let me introduce myself. Harun, the Silver Badge Adventurer.”

“I’m Selina, the Bronze Badge.”

“Hm, from looking at you… I’d never guess you’d say such things.”

“I-I’m sorry. My parents always said not to make a fool of myself, that one must come off strong at first! That’s what they taught me.”

He scratched his short beard, staring off into space with a complicated look.

“I get that. But… just a moment ago, it felt like you were being manipulated by something. It was totally out of character for you.”

“What?”

“I felt some… pull as soon as I looked into your eyes. Anyway, I apologize. I admit that I made a mistake on our first meeting.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

…Is he a good person?

Really? With that face?

It turns out, physiognomy is pseudo-science. There are people with that face who can also be nice!

“If you have a tough problem, feel free to talk. Maybe not a payment per se, but I’ll help you out for now.”

“…Yes!”

I shook hands with him and started heading towards the exit of the Adventurer’s Guild.

At the entrance of the Adventurer’s Guild was the wizard boy. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I quickened my pace to leave.

And not long after, as soon as I stepped out, the wizard boy followed right after. I didn’t turn my head to check, but I could hear the sound.

Could it be that the one in real danger was that boy?

No, calm down.

Take a deep breath.

I am not thinking rationally right now. I’m being far too emotional. This isn’t me.

I’m not this ‘cowardly’ nor do I have a ‘habit of floundering.’

I may not be a genius, but I consider myself smart enough to be in the top 5% of humanity, having graduated from a respectable university and maintaining top grades.

Is it really this hard to think rationally and logically? This isn’t me.

It’s the impact of the status window. The personality and traits of the character I created and their attributes are directly influencing my personality. I need to return as soon as possible.

Ah, if I had anticipated such influence, I would have set my intelligence to at least a 2.

That’s just slightly below average.

The memory of the status I saw upon waking up this morning is already beginning to fade. I’m not the type to forget recent events to such a degree.

I don’t stutter like this or act foolishly.

Let’s calmly look back.

Dressed in a black robe, holding a staff, the wizard boy was staring at me impassively.

Yellow eyes? No, more like golden. And his unruly black hair.

No matter how I look at it, he appears to be several years younger than me… given his size, I could even mistake him for a child.

The boy approached me expressionlessly.

Staring into my eyes intently.

“…Come with me. It’s important. I have something to say.”

“Eep!”

“…”

I hiccuped.

I was startled by the actions and words of the boy who was much smaller than me.

Feeling scared.

The boy looked at me as if I were pathetic.

‘Oh, please.’

I felt a pang of self-loathing, clutching my throbbing head, and followed the boy.

Next to the Adventurer’s Guild building, or to put it precisely… a very narrow alleyway. With buildings on either side blocking the sun, it was a dim and damp spot.

It was the perfect place for a secret conversation.

But was there really something to discuss in a place like this?

We just met moments ago.

What on earth could he want to say?

Very tense, I clasped my hands delicately over my chest and waited for the boy to speak.

“How much do you know about your eyes?”

“I know they’re supposed to be enchanting.”

“…Your attitude is quite different from the timid one asking for help just a moment ago.”

“That wasn’t me. Can I say it’s how I usually talk?”

What I said was the truth.

The interference from the status window had lowered my intelligence, made me clumsy, and caused me to act trembling. That was not my true self.

In fact, this calm demeanor is closer to my true personality.

The boy examined me with a complicated expression before letting out a sigh.

“Well, it seems like that might be the case.”

“…”

“It’s better to not reveal your eyes. I don’t understand what possessed you to show them. How rural are you? This town is pretty rural too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you never heard of body hunters?”

“…?”

“Humans who collect body parts resembling gods. Your eyes are pinkish… which is quite valuable.”

…A lot of information has come at me, but I kept my composure.

My negative traits have yet to manifest.

I need to process my thoughts as quickly as I can.

Before I become an idiot.

First, there’s the word ‘gods.’

I didn’t play the game. The moment I created my character, I was whisked away to this world.

In other words, the story I know is… the prequel to this game. I have no knowledge of the sequel’s story.

But I’m at least familiar with the setting.

In the conclusion of the previous installment, there was but one god.

That fact does not change.

‘…Is the knowledge I have worthless?’

It’s rare for settings to be changed or discarded in sequels, but it does happen from time to time. The gaming industry is notorious for such nonsense.

My head is pounding.

It hurts.

Even though the sun is still high above, I feel drowsy…

No, that can’t be right.

I’m actually feeling drowsy!

Narcolepsy.

The very trait I selected is bringing me crisis.

Taking into account that penalties come randomly, I must be incredibly unlucky.

“…I’m sorry, but I’ll just take a quick nap.”

“What? What did you just say…”

Plop.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.