Surviving a Shounen Manga

Now Then, Should I Use Some Strength?

– That bastard, so he just up and left?

"… I thought we’d have time for a proper farewell."

– What’s the big deal? I’m in no hurry to see that idiot’s mug again, I can tell you that.

"… Hmm."

Thermis wondered if he’d be back any time soon. Last night he suddenly came in to say goodbye, so he was probably off to do something idiotic.

Bayar Khan’s voice was a bit sullen as he spoke.

– Look at your face. You look like you’re about to die.

"…"

What nonsense.

"Who says?"

– Look at you. Slouching like you’ve got no strength. No, no, wait. It can’t be, are you…

Thermis flinched for a moment.

She was afraid that this old man might ask something absurd.

– Are you like this because you think you lost to him? So because he went away, you feel like you didn’t get to play enough?

"…"

How fortunate.

"Well… I sure as hell didn’t win. That’s the truth. I lost completely."

What had she said back then, again?

She’d said that she would deliver a final blow, but that’d been close to a bluff. She really didn’t have even a single drop of power left by then. If that giant squat-jawed ghost had snapped a single finger, she wouldn’t have been able to stop it.

– You know, it’s true that you’re a touch strong, but that’s still only at the level of being a big fish in a little pond. Although, if you keep working hard, you can grow a little more.

After giving her a dose of reality, Bayar Khan asked again in a soft voice.

– By the way, why did he leave so quickly?

"… I don’t know. He just, he just said he had to go."

Squathaw had left as suddenly as he’d first appeared to her on the ship. That was all.

– Still, you two talked for a little bit yesterday, didn’t you? While I was away?

"You’re full of questions today, old man."

– That’s what happens when you get old. Come on, tell me.

"There was really nothing special about it."

In fact, Thermis had also been curious, and asked. Why was it so urgent that he had to leave as soon as they returned to the capital?

Squatjaw had given an excuse that he didn’t want to bother the emperor, but that was a clear fib. Had he indeed had any concerns about propriety, he wouldn’t have considered leaving so suddenly in the first place.

And in the end, the answer she got was… really nothing special.

He had stuff to do. He was busy.

Then,

– Didn’t you try to stop him?

Bayar Khan finally spoke out the words he’d been holding back.

– Your popularity is rising here in the empire right now, but the situation’s still dangerous. Those who want to take advantage of you, those who’re jealous of you, and those who fear you are everywhere. If you asked him to stay a little longer and help…

"I tried…"

– Ah?

"I said, I tried to stop him."

– … What did you say?

Thermis hadn’t simply asked for help when she’d tried to stop him.

"I said, he might even be able to become the emperor? If he stayed here, he might be able to get the throne."

Thermis hadn’t been joking. If he really put his mind to it, he might really be able to rise to be the Khan. Even now she thought so.

In fact, Bumio Khan had already given them both a general’s position. Moreover, he’d even repeated the phrase, ‘my son doesn’t seem to be interested in the Khan’s position’, several times.

– So?

"It’s not even funny."

– What?

"He said he’s going to become the Adventure King."

– … Wh-, what? The Adventure King?

That was Squatjaw’s true answer.

He was busy walking his own path. He was hurrying to climb the Tower of Adventure.

Khan? That was a job for somebody with more time on their hands, he’d said while staring at her.

Thermis shook her head at the memory.

"The funny thing is, he was really just an adventurer. There was no special reason why he helped me. It was just a routine quest. And here I thought he was carrying out some great, top-secret mission."

To be honest, that adventure quest completion certificate with his name on it had come as a little shock. This guy always pretended to be so mysterious, but he really was just a rookie adventurer. With an absurdly big dream.

– He wants to be the Adventure King, huh…

Bayar Khan chuckled for a while, making Thermis wonder what was so funny.

And then,

– That’s right. A guy who dares dream of something like that wouldn’t be satisfied with being the emperor of this two-bit country. The Adventure King, the Adventure King…

He muttered with a small smile.

Because that was a dream to become the best in the world.

Bayar Khan seemed to have brushed off all his regrets. Because that was how great and majestic that title was.

[Adventure King]. The king of the world.

Perhaps he wouldn’t even dare think of stopping somebody like that. Somebody whose dream made him about to embark on that arduous journey.

– Still, it’d be better to maintain a connection. He’s going to rise even higher, that Squatjaw. There’ll be a day when he’ll be of great help to you and the Skull Empire.

"… Well, I sent my token along with the quest completion certificate with Coocoo. If he doesn’t throw it away… then we’ll see each other again someday."

– Wait, Coocoo? That white hawk? You sent him away?

"Yeah. That white… pigeon."

– Really, you… could’ve just used a different messenger. Why send away a divine beast that symbolizes Umir Khan?

Bayar Khan clicked his tongue in disappointment.

"He was originally Squatjaw’s friend. Coocoo felt the same."

Thermis remembered Coocoo’s feet trembling when Squatjaw said that he would leave him behind.

How could she make somebody like that, who held back his sadness and regret for his friend’s sake, stay behind?

– Yeah, well. It doesn’t much matter, I suppose. They’re often referred to as the two symbols, but words are wind. The white hawk… it’s just an ornament, an ornament.

At Bayar Khan’s words, Thermis smiled.

"I think so too."

Then, after the silence had gone on for a while,

"Why are you so disgruntled, anyhow? Or maybe, you’re actually relieved?"

Thermis asked with a playful smile.

– What do you mean?

"Didn’t you want to have another bout with Squatjaw once the Warrior’s Path finished?"

– Ah, I did have such an idea. Your body’s grown enough to accept me. It might’ve been a pretty good match.

"Hmm… really? I think you would’ve lost again anyway… Isn’t it better that he just up and left, old man? You didn’t have to take another loss for no reason…"

Then,

– Wh-, what!? Shut your trap, you little bitch!

Bayar Khan screamed.

– You have no idea, you witch! What my true strength is like!

"Not this again. You keep repeating that every day."

– Because you aren’t strong enough, you bitch! Your body can’t handle my true strength… yeah, he’s the only one that can.

It was an absurd statement.

"What the hell. If you think you’re going to lose, just admit that you’re going to lose. You say you have to borrow Squatjaw’s body to use your true strength? Then how exactly are you going to fight?"

Then,

– Not him!

Bayar Khan shook his head.

"… Huh? Then who?"

His next words left Thermis completely stunned.

– Remember that big guy Squatjaw summoned? That ‘king’?

"… What?"

What was this old man talking about now?

"But he’s a ghost."

– So what?

"A ghost possessing another ghost? Do you think that makes sense?"

– Why not? That gigantic guy… he sure looked like a ghost, but didn’t he also have an impressive physique?

"But… no, but can this really…"

Her brain felt like it was being twisted into knots.

– And it wasn’t me that came up with this idea, you know?

"… Then?"

– That fellow quietly told me this before he left. That let’s make this work sometime.

"Eeh…"

It was crazy. Any rational person would call it a bunch of nonsense.

But the strange part was that, hearing that the idea came from Squatjaw, she somehow felt it might actually work.

"… I see. That makes sense."

He was a man who pulled off miracles every time.

Thermis nodded and smiled.

That was then.

‘Wait a minute. Come to think of it…’

Suddenly, a thought ran through her head.

"Weren’t you shouting earlier that you didn’t want to see his face? What’s this, did you two meet and even have a chat?"

– …

Thermis shook her head.

This old man just had to pretend, every time.

The fatty looked at his thin partner without saying a word.

The man was staring intently at Squatjaw’s back as it was disappearing in the distance.

He must’ve been in a complicated mood. This was the first time that he’d had to stare at a prey like this.

But that didn’t mean they could just waste time here.

The fatty chose his words carefully.

"What are we going to do? I don’t think we can keep chasing him, can we?"

Fortunately, the slender man immediately shook his head.

"No way. A monster with multiple unique abilities? He isn’t somebody we’ll ever be able to handle. Now’s a little late to admit it, though."

"Then let’s pack up. Is there any point in staying here? Looks like Squatjaw’s now trying to escape the empire."

"…"

But the slender man didn’t answer for a while.

And when he did break the spell of silence, he said something the fat man couldn’t even have imagined.

"I posted a quest to assassinate Squatjaw in the Leeches’ Cradle."

"… Wh-, what?"

The Leeches’ Cradle.

The world’s largest behind-the-scenes source of information that was shared by all the top killers, assassins, stateless secret societies, anarchists, underground kings and secret organizations around the world.

The minimum bounty for a contract was five billion gold, and quests worth tens of billions of gold were common.

The fatty asked in amazement.

"H-, how much’s the bounty?"

"A hundred billion."

"… Haah."

It felt like all the strength in his body was escaping.

"This is crazy."

"This much should gather some interest."

"Why the hell are you doing this?"

The fatty couldn’t understand the thin man’s decision.

Principle, pride? Resentment at meeting someone he couldn’t kill on his own?

What made a rational human being behave like this?

As the fatty looked at him with a complicated mood –

"It’s very simple."

He replied as if it was no big deal at all.

Oddly enough, his expression was infinitely calm.

"It’s so that we can survive."

"… What?"

"All the assassins in the empire have already noticed our failure. Or rather, all the assassins in Eastland."

"So? Who cares? Most of them failed too."

"That’s why we’re bound to attract even more ridicule. We couldn’t even realize the strength of our opponent even after that, and we just wasted money and time by insisting on following up to the end."

"…"

Indeed, this was all correct. It was just a bit absurd that the reason behind all that was mentioning it himself.

"What’s next, do we try to admit our failure and move on? Then it won’t just end with ridicule. Our standing will inevitably become lower and lower."

"So?"

"This is the only way to raise our status back up from the abyss to which it has fallen. We reveal our failure to the world. And bring it to everyone’s attention."

The fat man, honestly speaking, didn’t quite understand what his partner was getting at.

"But how is that going to…"

"What if all those bigshots try and fail to hunt Squatjaw too? Sooner or later, our image will change – to an organization that’s survived tangling with that monster."

"Heeh…"

The idea made a tiny amount of sense.

But, nevertheless, there were still many doubts.

"No, even then, did you really have to do that… Money is money, and if you turn out to be wrong…"

"We won’t pay the money. We don’t even have that much money in the first place."

"Huh?"

"Squatjaw’s a monster. I’m not saying that just for kicks. The guy can’t be beaten. To hunt him, you’d need the Assassin King of the last generation and the Underworld King to attack together. Even then, I don’t know if they’d be enough."

"Th-, that…"

To be honest, the fatty hadn’t expected such a high evaluation.

"What if Squatjaw makes a name as an ‘untouchable monster’ at the Leeches’ Cradle? Our status, as the ones who posted the first bounty on him, will naturally rise. That’s how it always goes."

It wasn’t completely unreasonable.

But still one problem remained.

What if Squatjaw got angry when he found out about this?

If assassins repeatedly attacked him, he too would try to find out the cause. Then it’d only be a matter of time before the situation was revealed.

When asked about this point,

"Well, what else can we do? We’ll just have to run away."

The slender man grinned.

It was a smile he hadn’t worn in a long time.

Which, basically –

"… Fuck me."

– Meant he wasn’t feeling very reasonable.

The Goblins’ Den.

At the home of their chief, Oldboy (老兄).

It was a great circular hall, whose walls and floors were covered with mysterious patterns, and five bizarre goblin statues were arranged at the corners forming a pentagram.

The great doors suddenly burst open.

"Oldboy!"

"Huh?"

The old goblin, whose snow-white eyebrows had gotten long enough to reach his chin, looked up as someone barged in, panting.

"Some guests have come to visit the Saboteur’s Lot!"

The intruder was the rookie goblin who’d recently been chosen as the new manager of the Lark’s Nest. What was his name again… Nestavi[1]?

"Guests?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"They’re saying… humans?"

"…"

His ears were getting duller with age, how sad.

"Come again?"

"Humans, humans."

"…"

After a while, the old goblin clicked his tongue.

"Tch! I keep telling them, don’t hire liars and pranksters[2] for reporting and management positions…"

Humans, what nonsense!

But,

"I’m sorry, but it’s true. They said that the old gatekeeper of the Saboteur’s Lot, Yellowweed, let them through. And one more thing, I’m neither a liar nor a prankster. I think I’ve told you that over a hundred times already."

The young goblin with a flushed face was shaking his head while taking deep breaths.

"Heeh…"

Oldboy then tried in a severe tone –

"Is that really true? Are you sure?"

But he soon stopped. Because the other party’s face was quite serious.

"Yes. Look over there, can’t you see how the larks are flocking together?"

Oldboy noticed that a number of messenger larks had indeed gathered around the window.

"… Huh."

How could this have happened so suddenly? Without any prior signs?

In the long history of the goblins, humans had only ever visited their lair once.

He couldn’t help but feel a little dazed.

"But why? How?"

"Just passing by, apparently?"

"No, does that make sense? How did they even find us?"

"Umm, that… I’m not sure yet."

"…"

It sounded really irresponsible, but Oldboy struggled to regain his calm. It wasn’t this kid’s fault.

"Then what’s their purpose?"

"They’re here to ask for something."

"So a request? For what?"

"There was talk about making a bet."

"Huh… a bet?"

It wasn’t funny.

It had to be nonsense that they’d just been passing by. Clearly they’d come here knowing how crazy goblins got about bets. Oldboy didn’t know what all this was about, but they obviously had some kind of deep scheme.

So,

"So what are you going to do?"

Naturally he had to quickly go take a look… uhm, no, he had no choice but to go investigate.

"So, you’re sure you want us to decide the sport?"

I nodded to the goblin who’d asked the question.

"Yeah. How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t care, so let’s just do whatever you guys are good at."

Some of the onlooking goblins broke into giggles.

As if just the thought of it made them excited, or maybe they thought it’d be fun.

That was then.

"The same goes for us. The sport doesn’t matter. Having humans here is itself a novelty, after all. That’s not the problem."

"Then?"

"Unless we know what you want, we can’t accept the bet. Because you might ask for something we can’t fulfil."

"Why, aren’t you confident? Can’t you win?"

"That’s a different matter. We have to insist, even if the probability of our defeat approaches zero. The requirements for a wager have to be met. So tell me what you want, first."

I scratched my head.

Hmmm.

Again, talking to these guys was a chore.

"Alright, then call your boss here. I’ll talk to him. Or if you’re the boss, do you have the authority to grant whatever I ask for…?"

That was then.

"Oh? By the ’boss’, do you mean me?"

In the distance, I could see an old goblin walking towards us with a cane.

Somehow, the appearance was familiar.

Oldboy. The chief of the goblins.

And finally,

"Look, it’s Oldboy!"

"He must’ve come running in a hurry!"

"Won’t his knees give out?"

"Look at that! That old man is about to fall down!?"

All the goblins surrounding us broke into shouts as if to prove his identity.

"Hey! Listen, you bastards! When a customer[3] comes from afar, it’s only natural for me to greet him first! You guys are just getting together and whispering!"

Oldboy reached where I stood and took a deep breath.

Although he’d been walking once within sight, it seemed he’d really been running all the way before that.

And then,

"Who the hell are you? Where did you roll in from, you son of a bitch?"

He shouted at me.

"…"

Crazy.

Was this how he treated customers, or was I a fucking beggar?

But, of course, I wasn’t upset about it.

Rather, I laughed, because I knew the old goblin’s personality very well and how I had to act to get what I wanted from him.

"Neener neener, I’ll never tell!"

"…"

Soon,

"Y-, you fucking squat-jawed asshole[4]!"

The old man roared in anger.

"You want to make a bet? Fine!"

"Oh, you already knew?"

"Whatever happens, if you win, I’ll give you one thing that you want! But if you lose…"

"You can ask a question. About anything. I’ll answer."

"…"

Then Oldboy looked at me with a slightly surprised expression,

"… Fuck! Fine."

But he still nodded.

"I’ll decide the sport to bet on. The reward we’ll receive would a little less valuable, to compensate. Do you agree?"

"Good!"

"Alright! Then let’s discuss the match. Hm…"

I waited, holding my breath.

Maybe ‘that’? Leo and the others did that when they first visited here in the original.

"Squatjaw, looking at your size, you’ve got a bit of strength. Alright, feel free to go wild with it! The sport will be ‘goblin wrestling’!"

I smiled.

It was as expected.

Goblin wrestling.

It had the same rules as the original Korean folk wrestling, ssireum[5]. Opponents started grappling from a standing position and the one who made any part of the other’s body above the knees touch the floor, won.

The only difference being –

"Do you know the rules?"

"Um, no?"

"It’s simple. You just have to be the first to throw your opponent down."

"Just throw them down?"

"Yeah, but you could still lose, though."

"Eh?"

"If you drop your guard, it’ll be over in an eyeblink, so don’t forget to be careful."

– The rules here could ‘change any time’.

"Well then! Those of you who’re confident that they can crush this squat-jawed asshole! Come forward!"

Then, seeing all kinds of goblins jump out at Oldboy’s call, I also took a step forward.

"Huff… now then, should I use some strength?"

Editor’s Notes:

[1] 샛동아비 (lit. baby boy).

[2] Remember, the goblins gods include the God of Mischief and the God of Lies, so their followers would consider such things a holy act.

[3] 객(客) in the raws. 客 can mean guest or customer, but here the emphasis is on the latter.

[4] 호랑말코 (horangmaiko), a worthless, arrogant, headstrong guy. ‘Wanker’ might be a better translation but we’re using whatever sounds best in context.

[5] See Wikipedia for an explanation of the martial art.