Sage of Hearts

Disclaimer: I certainly don't own Naruto, Disney or any of its affiliated properties. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this now would I?

"The connection of our hearts…" : Speech (Bold for yelling ,Bijuu, or massive creatures)

'The connection of our hearts…' : Thought

Wonderland, White Rabbit's home…

After chasing after the elusive rabbit for so long, Alice was happy to have finally met her quarry. However, the last thing she expected was to mistaken for someone else and given chores to do.

"E-excuse me? My name is Alice sir, not Mary Ann like you said…" Alice said as the Rabbit stopped to regard the girl with a harried gaze, not really taking the time to thoroughly examine the girl (Alice and Naruto would later learn that the Rabbit suffered from mental breakdowns every now and then, which was why he behaved the way he did…).

"Yes, yes that's a funny joke Mary but now's not the time – I am running late for the tea party and I need you to go retrieve my gloves. I seem to have misplaced them and my memory has failed me." The Rabbit said as he hopped out of the house, too preoccupied to notice the literal fox crouching in the bushes around his house. He then began tapping his foot impatiently, waiting for Alice to find his gloves for him.

Seeing as the rabbit was convinced that she was indeed this Mary Ann girl, Alice resigned herself to searching for the gloves (she also wanted to see what a rabbit's house would look like…). The ground floor was really nothing to write home about as it was just a small living room with a kitchen and pantry in the back. Moving upstairs, she found something a little more interesting-a cookie jar, just sitting innocently on a table close to a small divan in the rabbit's bedroom. Moving closer to the jar, Alice missed the gloves on the divan cushions and opened it to see what was inside.

Outside the house, Naruto snuck around the rabbit and scaled the house's walls, his short black claws finding easy purchase in the walls of the home. After a few seconds of climbing, he reached an upstairs window with a good view of what Alice was doing.

"Alright – now I can see what that girl is doing. Methinks the girl is enjoying the wackiness of this dream a little too much…" Naruto mumbled as he watched Alice move further into an upstairs bedroom. When he noticed what she was actually doing though, his eyes twitched madly in exasperation.

'Seriously?! Another cookie?! I thought she had learned her lesson about not eating or drinking anything in this crazy world! I have to stop her!' Naruto thought as he began tapping the glass of the window to try and draw Alice's attention.

"Huh? What's that noise?" Alice said as she lifted the jar and held it close to her chest while looking around curiously for the source of the noise. After a few seconds of searching, she noticed Naruto's face squished against a window as he looked at her seriously. Dismissing him, she then pulled out a cookie and waved it in front of Naruto impishly.

"Hey Naruto! Guess what I found – I think it is only fair I collect my 'dues' if I am going to work as a maid for the rabbit…" She said as she took one cookie and made to eat it.

'Don't you even think about it young lady! Haven't you already learned your lesson about eating weird stuff in this world?!'Naruto said as he shook his head and frantically gestured for Alice to stop what she was doing. Unfortunately, Alice took his actions the wrong way, believing that he wanted a cookie too.

"Don't worry Naruto – I'll share some with you. I won't eat all of them!" She said as she took a bite out of a cookie (oatmeal with almonds and hazelnuts for those curious).

The results were as one might expect – she immediately started growing in size, her body quickly filling up the entire room as Naruto yelped and climbed up to the roof to avoid a massive arm smashing through the window. Alice grew so much that her legs burst out the doors and her arms through the windows, making the house look like it had arms and legs, so seamless was her transformation.

"Damn it Alice! Are you alright? Are you in pain?" Naruto asked as he tried to look for a gap in the roof for Alice to stick her head out from. Meanwhile, the Rabbit was at a loss at what to do – his house appeared to have been invaded by a monster of some kind.

"Oh dear, oh dear – poor Mary Ann! She had just returned from her audience with the queen with her head attached to her shoulders only to be crushed by this monster in my house! I must get help immediately!" He said as he quickly hopped away to find some help. He found the Dodo sucking on some candy(he had no teeth to speak of, for alas, he was but a bird…) so he begged him for some help.

"Dodo! I need your help – a beast has taken over my home and I am at my wits end here!" The rabbit said as he wrung his hands in worry.

"Not to worry old chap – I was part of the Queen's air force you know. Never successfully managed to take off but I served through two wars – it's the least I could do to help a citizen in need!" The Dodo said as he reassured the Rabbit as they ran back to the house, only to see a fox breaking the roof of the house to let some air in lest Alice suffocated.

"I see your problem sir! Your abode has been invaded by a monster – that fox over there (the Rabbit did a double take at that before cowering behind the Dodo) is clearly trying to attack the beast and while I can certainly admire his vigor, we need to take a smarter approach. We need to smoke the monster out!" The Dodo said as the Rabbit looked at the bird in shock.

"B-but Mary Ann might still be alive in there! And my home…it will burn to ashes! Is this really the only way?" He asked as the Dodo harrumphed in indignation.

"Sir, it is in your best interests to eliminate this problem before it returns to invade any future homes you may own. Think of the future here…" The Dodo said as the Rabbit tiredly nodded before they started to look for some kindling and a fire starter. While they were doing this however, Alice managed to overhear their conversation (giant ears had their uses after all…).

"Naruto! They mean to burn the house down, with me in it! Is there anything you can see which can shrink me down so we can escape?" Alice said as Naruto stopped trying to tear a hole in the roof without using any special abilities (Wonderland seemed to change his Yin-Yang chakra balance so he was a little afraid of hurting Alice).

"Well, I don't know if this helps but the only edible thing I can see is some carrots in a small garden here…" Naruto said as he leaped down to the garden before pulling out a carrot from the earth and presenting it to Alice(well, more like he pressed it into her hand – Alice could barely see what was going on by squeezing her head close to an attic window).

"It will have to do…here it goes!" Alice said as she took the carrot and ate it whole. For a second, nothing changed before Alice suddenly shrank down to less than a foot (three inches to be exact) in size.

"Alright! Now that I have become small again, I can leave this house!" She said before trying to run out of the house, only to be picked up by Naruto, who placed her on his shoulder as he walked out of the house.

"Hold your horses there Alice. You're too small right now so let me handle this until we can get you back to your normal size." Naruto said as Alice pouted a little before the two of them noticed the Rabbit give up on burning the house down in favor of looking at his pocket watch before gasping in surprise before scarpering off like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels.

"There he goes! Naruto, after him!"

 "Yes, yes. Sheesh – calm down there princess…"

"Ow, ow! Easy on the ears there!"

One hasty and overexcited chase later…

"Alright, I am just going to say it – we lost the damn rabbit's trail again…" Naruto said as Alice jumped down to the ground and huffed in annoyance. They were in a grassy field now, filled with flowers and lush undergrowth(although the ever present forest was still visible at its periphery).

"That may be true but don't lose heart – we tracked him down once so surely we could catch him again. Maybe we might find someone who could lend a hand?" Alice said as she walked into the field as Naruto grumbled good naturedly before lying down in the grass and resting in a decidedly cat like fashion(the warm sun was doing some delightful things to his fur and he just had to feel that on the softer fur on his tummy).

Giggling a little at Naruto's 'lazy cat' attitude, Alice decided to explore the field as best she could, given her diminutive size. After a few minutes of walking around, she found herself in a bed of flowers and upon closer inspection, discovered that like all the denizens of this world, the plants were sentient.

"Oh! A visitor! We don't get too many of those!" The younger flowers said as Alice squealed at their cute looks before getting closer to them.

"Aren't you all just precious? I am new to this place and am struggling a little to get my bearings – perhaps we could be friends? Even a sympathetic ear would be appreciated in this wacky place…" Alice said as she sat down in the midst of the flowerbed after fixing her frazzled hair.

"Sure! We could always use new friends! Can you do anything special? Can you sing?! We can sing!" The younger flowers said, their eyes excitedly running over Alice's body (she was one strange flower…).

"Oh? Yes, I can sing…do you perhaps have a song in mind?" Alice said as the younger flowers practically vibrated with energy before proposing to sing about themselves. Before they could actually start singing though, a more mature voice cut through the chatter.

"It would be better if we sang a more inclusive song, one that expounds on the merits of all flowers and not just you young'uns…" The leader of the flowers, a red rose, said while all the other flowers agreed.

Alice was then treated to a warm rendition of a song they called "All in the Golden Afternoon" and she thought it was quite nice, if her polite clapping was anything to go by(Naruto had finished his sun bathing by now and was keeping a wary eye on the proceedings too).

"Now that we finished that song, we need to make an addition to account for our new member. Tell me dear, what manner of flower are you?" The rose said as all the other flowers leaned in to hear Alice's answer.

"Oh! I am not a flower at all – I am a human girl!" Alice said as the flowers abruptly became hostile.

"Not a flower you say? Then you must be a weed! Begone from our garden vermin!" The flowers said as they tried to chase her out of the field. Sensing that Alice had overstayed her welcome, Naruto quickly loped over to Alice just as two daffodils were about to soak her in water, picking the girl up just in time.

"Damn- these flowers aren't as nice as they look huh?" Naruto asked as the flowers cowered in the face of someone big enough to pluck them.

"No they are not! Why, I was just saying that if I was at my normal size, I would pluck them all!" Alice said as Naruto laughed a little before turning to the flowers with a mock threatening look.

"Well, I am still big – should I get you a bouquet of flowers my lady?" Naruto said as the flowers went pale in fear, even the red rose(who was trying to put on a brave face).

"Never mind Naruto – I wouldn't be able to carry it around anyway…" Alice said as she gently tugged at Naruto's ears to nudge him into leaving the field.

After leaving the field, Alice jumped off Naruto's head as she walked around on the branches of a tree she liked the look of.

"So, what do you think of this world Naruto? It may be strange but I do find the general wackiness a breath of fresh air compared to the boring, no nonsense world back home…" Alice said as Naruto looked up a bit contemplatively.

"Well, I suppose this world isn't too bad if you know what you're doing as it's certainly more interesting…" Naruto said while he was keeping a watchful eye on Alice lest she fell and turned into a red splat on the forest floor.

Alice was enjoying her arboreal detour for a few minutes before she met yet another strange entity – a caterpillar, who appeared to be smoking a hookah? He was singing a merry tune while blowing out wispy smoke clouds.

"H-hello? Sir? Have you seen a white rabbit pass by here? S-sir?" Alice said as the Caterpillar snorted and turned to look at her.

"Oh? Who is this? A lady? She appears to be looking for something…*takes a deep suck of the hookah*here for some happy times?" He said as he blew a cloud in Alice's direction.

*Cough**Cough*"No I don't want any of that! I am only a child! I just wanted to know where the Rabbit went!" Alice said as the Caterpillar hummed before blowing out a smoke cloud looking like a rabbit.

"Rabbits eh? Why look for rodents anyway? Life is too short to stress over – try to slow down. The sky is purple and the grass is blue – the Queen is our savior and the Sun is a cutthroat thief." He said as he looked to be really enjoying the fumes he was inhaling.

"Never mind – I'll just be on my way…"Alice said as she lost her patience with the clearly intoxicated caterpillar. She started to walk away before the Caterpillar suddenly waved over to her.

"Wait there young lady – I still have something important to say!" He said as Alice sighed and returned to him.

"Listen, unless you have something to return me to normal size, then I am not interested…" Alice said as the Caterpillar smirked at the girl.

"Hoho! But why may I ask?" He said as Naruto listened in carefully from the base of the tree.

"Oh, three inches is just a terrible height to be – how does anyone get anything done at such a size?!" Alice bemoaned, missing the twitching eyes of the now irate Caterpillar as Naruto laughed inwardly at Alice's unintended gaffe.

"Why I never! The sheer audacity! I'll have you know that this height isn't as bad you say. But I am a generous man so I will share my special mushrooms with you…just remember to take one part of the mushrooms to grow larger and one part on the other side to grow smaller." The Caterpillar said as he actually turned into a butterfly out of sheer outrage.

A few minutes later…

Naruto and Alice were now in the deeper part of the woods, the girl now in her normal size with a good supply of mushrooms in her apron pocket. They were having some down time, enjoying the peace of the forest before they met someone a little more important than everyone they met before.

"Oh? What's this? This delicious sense of chaos – a girl from another world and a fox not even from this reality? To what do I owe the pleasure?" A purple cat said as he appeared in front of the two, Naruto's eyes narrowing as he sensed as this cat was more powerful than he appeared.

That was the end of chapter 22! Our merry group has met the Cheshire Cat so the story is picking up now!

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