RE: Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Hentai Shinobi Rule 44: All that glitters is not gold; All that looks like squirt is not orgasm.

***

13th September, Wetday.

After wearing her clothes and adjusting her thigh and waist pouches, Mikoto glanced at her dressing table. She couldn't help but stare at Team 9's picture. Tsunade stood behind the trio, with Kushina and Mikoto grinning, flanking the cheekily smirking, cross-armed chibi. Next to the framed photograph was a custom kunai. A carving of a cute rabbit with sharingan in its eyes marked the kunai's handle instead of the usual cloth wrapping. It was her birthday gift from Kai, who looked rather proud that day. He had all the reason to act like that since the carving was delicate and refined despite its humorous intent. The sharingan in the rabbit's eyes looked lifelike.

According to Kai, that's how Mikoto looked when trying to act tough with her sharingan.

Jerk.

Of course, Mikoto didn't have parties since she spent the day in the shrine. However, she treated the duo and her Sensei with a barbecue. It was only fitting. Meanwhile, Kushina's Birthday Gift was…

Shameless.

The redhead decided to share her half of the special all-you-can-eat ramen for the year from Ichiraku Ramen with Mikoto. It was as if Team 9 wasn't already exploiting that pass enough. Still, it was the thought that mattered.

The Uchiha Heiress stared at the picture for a few more minutes, feeling sad that the energetic duo barely revealed a fraction of their usual energy. Meanwhile, Tsunade was an encouraging force in their life. Sensei reassured Mikoto the duo would eventually regain their spirits. But didn't they know better?

Kai would have been at his usual acts—terrorizing the masses, preying on orphans, emotionally destroying any young chunin who glanced at him the wrong way, and more—IF Kushina felt better. A pang of envy and raw emotions surged within Mikoto at the thought. A slight slip in her mental state could make her sharingan fuel her thoughts with all sorts of emotions. Tsunade, Yata, Kyo, and even Fugaku suggested not to succumb to the dark thoughts of hate and destruction.

However, that wasn't an issue for Mikoto.

She huffed, regaining her cool. "I hope things get better."

What Kushina revealed made Mikoto feel helpless. She never knew her friend had been feeling so desperate, which came bursting forth the second Mito's health endured a hit.

Sighing, Mikoto left her room. She could only train!

Kushina wouldn't have any worries if Mikoto became stronger. Mikoto didn't want that adorable redhead confined in one residence for long. Sure, it wasn't a prison.

But it was.

Since Tsunade gave the team a day off, Mikoto planned to step up her training. Her father was a busy man. He consistently advised her, offering to spar with her and test her progress in Fire Ball Jutsu. That was the only Jutsu taught to Mikoto. However, Mikoto wasn't satisfied with her progress.

The Team 9's devilish duo only got the hang of Mystic Palms Jutsu a little over two weeks ago, by the end of August. While Tsunade praised their talents, assuring them that being able to use the Jutsu in the gap of three to four months was one of the best results in Konoha, they couldn't feel proud of their accomplishment—not with Mister One-Day repeating the same praise in painfully obvious and sarcastic tone.

Of course, Tsunade beat the boy later. Kushina and Mikoto never understood why Tsunade grew so heavy-handed on Kai. It was a recent progress.

There was also another mystery.

The girls never learned the identity of the owner of the panties in Kai's pocket…

He took it everywhere!

Mikoto left her residence and swiftly flickered into the clan's training ground, meeting a tall, well-built youth with a slightly prominent and pronounced jawline. He instantly noticed Mikoto and stared at her with his sharp, pitch-black eyes.

"Good morning, Fugaku-san," Mikoto strained a smile.

"Please," Fugaku spoke calmly. "You asked me for a favor, and I agreed. We don't need to waste time with pleasantries. You're the Clan's Heiress. Someday, I might need you to return the favor."

Mikoto's expression stiffened, and a wave of disgust unintentionally rose in her heart as she couldn't help but form conclusions, only for the man to interrupt her thoughts.

"Of course, I'm not talking about forcing you to marry me. I'm aware Yata-san encouraged the idea due to my records. However, you are free to make your own decisions. We live in Konoha, not some exploited land under civilian authorities."

"A-ah," Mikoto ducked her head, feeling slightly ashamed. "I'm sorry."

Fugaku's words were deceptively understanding compared to his stoic expression and callous tone.

"Don't be. You are young, and it's easier for our minds to form quick judgments than to broaden our views. We, the Uchiha, are notorious for acting narrow-minded regarding personal matters."

"You aren't the same," Mikoto muttered. "Others, including my dad, want me to progress one step at a time and are teaching me Genjutsu. However, I could be doing more. Only you chose to help me train my nature transformation."

Contrary to Mikoto's belief, Fugaku tilted his head and stated, "I just said we are prone to making incorrect or hasty decisions during personal crises. Why didn't you listen to the Elders? They have no incentive to guide you improperly."

Mikoto blinked before frowning.

"What?"

"Choosing to stretch yourself too thin would be a mistake," Fugaku explained. "I understand you wouldn't listen to your father, especially when you decided something."

"He sent you?" Mikoto's frown deepened, and she couldn't help but glare.

"No. But Yata-san talks about you in the office," Fugaku exhaled. "To be frank, it's annoying. I'm trying to say that you're looking at things from a narrowed perspective. As I said, I wish to assist."

"By not helping me," Mikoto retorted.

Fugaku grew silent before he cleared his throat.

"Please take a seat. I will help you with the nature transformation training if you don't feel dissuaded by the end of what I have to say."

Mikoto huffed in dissatisfaction as she picked the nearby boulder. Meanwhile, Fugaku formed a few seals before conjuring an earthen slab for his seat.

'Just how difficult is it to help me the way I want?' She grew annoyed. 'Everyone thinks they know better!'

As if unaware of Mikoto's thoughts, Fugaku considered his words and began, "We are encouraged to train in the regular shinobi practices after awakening our Sharingan. Despite being a bane to many other jutsus, we stick to training. There is only one reason—the Sharingan is not without limits."

Mikoto knew these limits. However, she knew better than to interrupt Fugaku. Since he thought he was helping, Mikoto did not want to act ungrateful. After all, Fugaku DID show up.

"The Sharingan copies other jutsus by copying and memorizing the target Jutsu's hand seals and the general flow of chakra in the target's body after invoking the seals. Similarly, the Sharingan copies several taijutsus and bukijutsus through the dynamic vision and boosted memorization."

"However, this aspect of the Sharingan is helpless against the Shinobi that can weave a jutsu without hand seals. It is also incapable of mimicking taijutsu, which your body's conditioning cannot support. There are also techniques and hidens with strange ratios of nature transformation that we cannot readily copy and use. A well-known example would be the Mystic Palms Technique. Could you copy that technique at a glance?"

Mikoto shook her head. Mystic Palms Technique was her recent sore point. While she might admire… more than admire Kai's skills, it did little to tame her competitive mindset.

"That's because Mystic Palms Technique may as well be the most popular Hiden due to Tsunade Senju's efforts. A shinobi must spend months, if not years, to master that subtle transformation of Yin and Yang Nature Release to use the Mystic Palms Technique."

Fugaku huffed. "Took me two months." He muttered in rare annoyance as Mikoto's lips twitched. She grew more aggrieved!

"Another weakness would be Kekkei Genkai—elemental ones and otherwise. Again, it's due to our limits. Perhaps an Uchiha with additional kekkei genkai of ice release could copy a Yuki Clan's shinobi's Ice-Release Jutsu at a glance."

"So… knowing all this, isn't it foolish for you to waste your time and exhaust yourself further training in Fire Transformation Nature Release when you can copy such Jutsu at a glance?"

Mikoto grew silent and clenched her jaw.

"Please, open your eyes," Fugaku advised. "Think why you wanted to begin this training while you're spending time training Genjutsu, Iryo-Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Bukijutsu. Don't you have enough on your plate?"

Mikoto snapped out of her anxiousness and looked at Fugaku.

"Why?" She muttered. Wasn't it obvious?

Because Kai was already—

Her breath hitched.

Yes.

Why?

Just because Kai was training in something new?

Did he start training Genjutsu when she did?

She was almost… no, her emotions led her to an extreme point. Instead of her affection, her competitiveness made Mikoto less than approachable the past few days as she aimed her temper against many except her teammates.

"I was feeling impatient for nothing," Mikoto looked at her hands. "I barely got the hang of Mystic Palms. Instead of practicing more during the breaks, I was…"

She looked at Fugaku before smiling wryly.

"Did Dad tell you how often I got angry at him?"

Fugaku shrugged. "He told anyone who was bored enough to hear him out."

Mikoto paled. Just what was her father thinking?! Don't go out and spread stupid things about your daughter, you unkempt old man!

"Thank you," Mikoto stood up. "I think I would have gotten angry at others if they tried talking some sense into me."

Fugaku shook his head with a smile.

"That's fine. You owe me one."

He spoke plainly before flickering away, leaving Mikoto huffing.

'I should train Mystic Palms and read more books from Sensei!'

Fugaku watched Mikoto leave from a distant branch before looking at a chiseled, bearded man.

"You owe me one, Yata-san."

"How professional and cold!" Yata gasped before chuckling. "Still, thanks." He soon frowned before scoffing. "It's that kid, Fugaku. Mikoto has been acting anxious and impatient since she learned Kai started to train in Yin Transformation. Sigh. It's so troubling to see Mikoto act like a grown-up. Heh. What do you think, Fugaku?"

Yata looked beside him, noticing not a single soul.

"Fugaku?!"

Yata called out, only for the autumn draft to answer his sad and betrayed voice.

<<<>>>

Unlike what everyone hoped for, Mito's condition continued to deteriorate. She was bedridden, barely able to move on rare days when she chose to spend her time climbing the stairs leading to the roof again. Sometimes Kai would accompany her, and at other moments, Kushina. The end of the year was already approaching, with the autumn season being the gloomiest period in the Uzumaki Residence.

Kushina stared at the undecorated Tanto hanging on her wall, held by two wooden pieces nailed by swift hammer strikes. Ordinarily, someone would display an ornate katana, that too, in a spacious living room. However, that wish was far away since Kushina didn't own the Uzumaki Residence.

Not yet, anyway.

The thought made Kushina ball her fists. Kushina would trade all her possessions in exchange for Mito's health—even her birthday gift hanging from the wall if possible. Kai would understand. He worried the most after Mito, even beginning to fuss when their usually composed caretaker acted like a spoiled kid instead, occasionally rejecting her medications or meals.

Those instances made Kai even more annoyed as Kushina often heard him mutter the misfortunes of old age catching up to Mito and her thoughts increasingly muddling daily. Yeah… that didn't fly so well by Mito. She may be old, but she put a hole through the wall.

Of course… then she had to rest for five days.

Kushina's mood couldn't help but brighten at the recollection before she glanced at the 'weird' tanto.

The Uzumaki and her Guardian practiced with Tantos and Chokutos these days, conforming to the standard equipment held by most Konoha's kenjutsu users. The skills taught by Tsunade centered around what was known to many chunins, and Konoha thrived on short blades for quick and successive attacks.

The tanto in question had a weird handle. Mikoto's kunai had a rabbit's carving. Meanwhile, Kai did the opposite for Kushina's birthday. He customized and affixed a clay-based backed mold onto the blade's hilt. So, there it was, stuck and hanging horizontally from the handle—a brown koala's miniature figure.

The blade was entirely useless except for times like these, where Kushina looked at it for a few minutes before giggling and momentarily forgetting her worries.

She feared Kai's reaction once she revealed her future jinchuriki status. Some part of her bitterly accepted the terror Kai must display at such news. However, that day never came. Instead, Kai had been more focused than ever. Sure, Team 9 grew lax on accepting missions, but that didn't mean they were idle. Kai seldom wasted his time with recreations, allowing an unprecedented era of peace and prosperity for the fatherless and motherless population breeding in Konoha. Mikoto mistook Kai's lack of enthusiasm for discipline as a sullen mood.

She misunderstood.

Kushina never saw Kai THIS busy. He always had something to do, somewhere to be! So, it was the most annoying fact that Kai's rare breaks were spent more in that blonde's company than hers or Mikoto's!

How Kai planned to ever bag a harem with that attitude was a mystery to Kushina.

Still, she promised to help him.

How frustrating!

Kushina snapped out of her thoughts when one of the servants called her, stating Mito had been looking for the former. Kushina hurriedly left her room, beelining to Mito's room, who had already stepped outside and approached the grand spiral staircase merely a few steps from there.

"Granny!" Kushina adopted a brave face decorated with a cheerful smile, unwilling to do anything to upset Mito. She held the elder Uzumaki's hand. "Do you want help walking up the stairs?"

"Yes, dear," Mito replied with a kind smile.

They began walking the stairs. Mito stepped carefully, with her usual cane in the other hand. The Elderly's back appeared more hunched than before as Kushina also heard the former's breathing pace up after a while.

"I'm sorry, Kushina," Mito whispered as Kushina inclined her head quizzically. Chuckling, the older of the duo shook her head. "I wanted to keep you free from those responsibilities as long as possible."

"Good! Then just jump off the roof, you slimy cunt!"

"Please don't be sad, Granny." Kushina's soft voice and expressive round eyes contrasted with the gruff insults hurled from within Mito's core. Still, her plans and selfishness did little to dampen Mito's sincerely felt gratitude for the young Uzumaki.

"Did you know why the Uzumaki Clan did not move into Konoha after the alliance?" Mito began as they walked. The slow and even pace assured the topic's survivability as Kushina grew intrigued.

Shaking her head, Kushina revealed, "Nope. But both sides would have benefited, right? Before leaving, I spent my days studying fuinjutsu or…" she blinked. "—playing."

"And how did you play?" Mito inquired with a meaningful look that Kushina was successfully oblivious to.

"I used to beat up this pair of brother and sister. Tch, they kept digging holes and traps for me to fall into. I even broke my arm once! Hmm, oh! There was this weird old man who kept talking about attacking Kiri. He disappeared a few months before I left, but was fun to chat with. There was also—"

Kushina listed various activities that would have someone like Mikoto cringing. And indeed, Mikoto cringed HARD when the team talked about their pasts and hobbies. Kai appeared impressed, so Kushina never cared about anything else.

"Do you have fun in Konoha?" Mito hummed as Kushina nodded with an excited look. She didn't need any prompts to describe her days with Team 9.

She talked about idling with Mikoto, eating out, sparring, and sometimes shopping for weapons and tools as a pretense to drag Kai out of the shop and away from Minato's evil clutches, bathing with Kai, glomping his cheeks, teasing him or Mikoto, abusing the ramen pass, and more.

As Kushina spoke, her voice grew softer. A rare expression of being lost graced her features as she couldn't help but pause and stand still.

"Granny…" Kushina revealed a complex look as she bit her bottom lip. "Why didn't Grandpa Ryuji, Heiju, or Ruriko ever do anything when I got beaten up or bullied?" Her violet orbs dimmed.

"Grandpa laughed when my arm broke, Ruriko said I needed to be careful, and Heiju taught me how to beat those two…"

"But here… Kai-Chan or Mikoto would have ensured I was feeling good before Kai decided to torture anyone for weeks to come. Tsunade-Sensei might have been even more extreme."

She stopped before focusing on Mito.

"What would you have done, Granny?"

Mito grew quiet. Kushina's slightly better comprehension surprised the former. The girl was anything but wise when she stepped within Konoha, so Kai's support and existence must have played a crucial role in her development. After all, Kai's academic skills were nothing to scoff at. Besides him, Kushina should have felt compelled to do better—as witnessed through her increasingly better scores in theory last year in the academy.

"If I were young," Mito began. "I would have beaten you more if you cried about breaking an arm. I had mine broken many times and broke several others myself."

They resumed their pace as Kushina quietly heard Mito speak.

"Every little change can cause grand consequences. We, the Uzumaki, have superior body and chakra capacity than most. We heal better, too. So, our culture experienced a significant shift compared to others. We became more brutal. Our talents in Fuinjutsu merely fastened this change as we grew to love being physically violent. In Uzushiogakure, it is a sign of love and respect, but it never changes the truth. Just because we were well-equipped with Fuinjutsu did not mean we weren't red-haired barbarians."

"We were just stronger ones."

Kushina's residence in Konoha didn't exceed three years, yet she changed and suddenly discovered these differences, tossing her mind into a wave of confusion and chaos. Nostalgia infected her memories of Uzu. Kushina still couldn't see anything wrong in the past. However, she understood how others in Konoha would feel. She recalled how one of her punches exerted more power than usual when one of the boys called Kai her servant. She sent the boy flying into a tree, and he fell unconscious. The redheaded Uzumaki recalled feeling self-conscious when Mikoto revealed a strange expression.

The change unconsciously began from that moment.

"But if you came to me with a broken arm now, I would heal and console you."

Kushina snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Mito.

"Bullshit! Since when did bitches learn to control their tails? A bitch's tail is crooked, so it remains! You're the queen of bitches—"

"It's not that we didn't join Konoha despite the alliance. Think about it. Other clans joined because it made sense to stay in one spot to defend each other. However, the Uzumaki Clan was refused such benefit by Hashirama's Brother."

"Lord Second?!" Kushina's eyelids jumped in shock.

"Hmm," Mito nodded. "Tobirama foresaw the chaos that would ensue after allowing the Uzumaki Clan into Konoha. The Konoha we have today would be much different if Hashirama didn't listen to his brother. Still, I cannot be sure if Tobirama did anything wrong."

"Our clan's symbol is a whirlpool. It's not just due to the location and natural whirlpools protecting Uzushiogakure's Island. Most members of the Uzumaki Clan spend their entire lives in conflict. We tend to surround ourselves with hate just as quickly with compassion. It wouldn't be weird for an Uzumaki Jonin to enter a conflict with an unrelated team of Shinobi during a mission just because the former watched the latter commit something he didn't like."

"Even inside Uzu, we tend to lash out constantly. The matter grew so much worse that it's now a sign of love. Kushina? How would Kai or Mikoto react if you broke their arms because you were annoyed?"

Kushina gulped.

Mikoto would stop being friends with her.

But Kai?

Kai…

He would make sure Mito's characteristic disciplining bamboo stick was so far up her ass that she breathed through the damn bamboo pipe jutting out of her mouth!

"Fearing the instability caused by the Uzumaki Clan, Tobirama drew another form of alliance—marriage. I married Hashirama, forming a compelling connection between the two powers for trade and other benefits."

She chuckled.

"I was quite the handful. No, that would be an understatement."

"You still have your hands and mouth filled with—"

"I thought… you were in Konoha to become a Jinchuriki."

Mito blinked.

"No," the woman shook her head. "But that's a tale for another time." The older of the duo suppressed her guilt when she looked at Kushina.

"The Uzumaki Clan is in a whirlpool of emotions, surrounded by hatred and violence, compelled to battle. Too many of us die for useless and meaningless reasons. Our symbol, the whirlpool, is a curse. But how can the Uzumaki Clan see and perceive that?"

"Instead of letting us rise, it forms a sinking force, dragging us into the depths of the world's ill-fates."

Kushina lowered her head until Mito's pace grew.

"Look around, Kushina."

The redhead gazed up as they passed one of the many windows to the staircase.

"From above, a spiral looks like a whirlpool. However, we climb this spiral, experiencing different scenes and everything this world has to offer."

Their pace grew.

"It allows you to grow and become better."

"It encourages you to rise instead of sinking into an ocean's depth."

Kushina watched Konoha through the window at different altitudes, growing mesmerized by the setting sun.

"Being a Jinchuriki threatens to surround you in a whirlpool of hatred and fear." Mito began once they reached the roof as Kushina's body stiffened. The older of the duo recalled how different and gentle Kushina was. She wasn't ashamed to admit Kushina was better at being a compassionate human.

Perhaps that was the cause of her gullibility?

Was that the reason she danced to Mito's tune?

Or did Mito also, at some level, believe what she was saying?

It could also be that Kushina never had any defense against Mito due to mutual trust.

Or, it could be all the reasons combined.

Mito glanced at the Hokage Rock, making Kushina unconsciously glance at the three sculpted faces of the current and previous Hokages.

"Love transforms the whirlpool of our hearts into a spiral, Kushina."

Mito chuckled as Kushina grew dazed. "You're a kind and caring girl. I believe you will never be lonely, not with the enormous love you carry in your being and share with the rest of us."

"You lying whore! Sure, don't even be honest about how I fucking capitalize on every human emotion! They call me a monster before locking me INTO ONE! You slutty freak! For some fucking shame! Oh, Rikudo! Just smite this cunt out of existence. I'll recover in a few years."

Needless to say, Kushina heard none of it and stared at the Hokage Rock, unable to keep one figure from constantly flashing in her mind.

Her fingers twitched to glomp those soft cheeks.

'I wonder what Kai is doing.'

<<<>>>

"Ugh, I wanna wreck an orphanage before creating a few more and committing the most glorious seppuku by shoving a kilometer-long sword into myself and a few more hundred jonins of other villages!"

Unable to comprehend the first of the chaotic emotions behind those phrases, Minato quietly observed the listless Kai leaning and moaning on his counter.

Wrecking an orphanage…

Then, building a few more…

Not to mention disemboweling himself and several others with a comically large sword impaled through everyone at once…

Wait, was it still seppuku if Kai also killed others? Was it not just… murder?

Yet, why would Kai build orphanages?

'Maybe for the people he would kill?' Minato blinked and nodded. That conclusion felt reasonable. However, Kai was anything but reasonable.

Still, watching his friend with such an exhausted expression pained Minato. He was more perceptive than others. Kai didn't spend his time in Ninja Tools Roll out of amusement. Instead, Kai must have disliked the thought of others, especially Kushina and Mikoto, discovering how upset he has been since Mito's ordeal.

Minato knew all this firsthand because Kai always visited with some of the craziest ideas!

A jutsu to accomplish eternal youth…

A jutsu to bring people from the dead…

A jutsu to make a bijuu their bitch—Kai's exact words.

"I wonder if we can create a jutsu where having sex could share youth or some shit like that," Kai mustered while leaving his head planted on the counter. "That'd be pretty popular…"

Minato felt speechless.

After all—

"Jiraiya-sensei had similar ambitions," Minato scoffed a chuckle.

"Hmm. Great minds think alike."

"A great mind wouldn't be sulking in a shop. We barely get a customer whenever you visit me," Minato sighed. He had long since stopped working part-time. His income as a shinobi was enough to sustain himself and the orphanage that helped him in the past. However, Tonton would often require help since Tintin had a weaker constitution and needed to visit the hospital.

"Say," Kai perked up. He wasn't idle these days. His training in Yin Nature Release progressed by leaps and bounds, merely limited by his lacking chakra reserve—which also grew due to consistent hard work. "How would you devise a seal?"

"Hmm?" Minato's intrigue was piqued. "Creating a seal? Are you questioning what thought process I would have?"

"Yep," Kai nodded. "Someone must have thought something, even if—I like to boom things—to create the explosive seals, right?"

"Wouldn't it depend on circumstances?" Minato shrugged. "Besides, I need to have enough base in this study before creating a fuinjutsu. That said, I'm also curious how the first fuinjutsu ever came to be, leading to its study and expansion."

Kai repressed a sigh. He hoped to get some insight from Minato. The latter had been very perceptive since they met. Yet, Kai was fantasizing too much. If anyone could conjure crazy ideas, Kai sincerely believed it to be Minato. Sure, the blond presented a sane and reasonable attitude in public. However, no mentally and emotionally stable individual would ever befriend Kai to such an extent.

With another lead plugged with temporary disappointment, Kai's heart grew determined to endure the ultimate sacrifice in pursuit of knowledge.

Even the most incredible treasure was worth sacrificing for Mito—especially when Kai plundered said treasure from a grave threat's dungeon!

When else would a Hobgoblin ever conduct in such desperate means?

<<<>>>

Tsunade's mood hasn't been the best these days—fuck that!

She had better years after learning the weakness of her flesh and the constant bleeding and mood swings. Yet, in these two years, she lost her once beloved boyfriend before she escorted him to the hospital; her brother, whose torn remains occasionally haunted her nightmares; her good friend, who was also dying and refused to let her help him, spouting some bullshit about being unable to respect her if she cowers to his demands; and now, her grandmother, who fucked around with a jutsu to minimize the disadvantages of a seal Tsunade was in the process of creating, even when the said process was often interrupted due to the constant need of vast loads of chakra when facing perilous enemies!

So, it would be an understatement to say she enjoyed her team's company. Who knows how much estate and wealth she would have pawned and lost in streams of consistent bets and a misfortune that loved her since birth?

Though, there were times when the circumstances turned too ridiculous that she didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or hospitalize the positively 'clean' disciple that occasionally acted like the worst crack-head in existence.

There was the time when he bluntly asked her to be in his harem.

Okay, that was acceptable. Tsunade's suitor liked aiming high and had talents beyond her comprehension. Who's to say she wouldn't find him likable once he grew?

Then, the boy had some nerve thinking Tsunade was trying to dominate the team and grew bent up in his ass before confronting how he wanted to do more missions whether she liked it or not.

Sure thing. Who wouldn't want such a dedicated team? It was also cute how Kai confronted others for overly simple misunderstandings.

There was also the time when they 'practiced' a jutsu… yeah, let's not even think about that. Things grew out of control way too quickly.

Lastly, his ridiculousness peaked when he had the gall to ask her if she was scared once they tested his chakra nature—Scared?

Bitch, please! She would train him to his bones, knowing he would love that…

But now…

Tsunade sat in her chair, confronted by the maniac in her home.

Well, it wasn't a confrontation but a request.

However, Tsunade refused to see the circumstances as anything BUT a confrontation due to certain things…

Thing.

Silken and light green with a frilled band, neatly spread on his hands pressed together adjacently in a posture of offering things in a shrine.

Tsunade was so angry that she smiled while staring at the underwear she KNEW Kai had taken when he spent the night in her residence despite his constant refusal of the fact.

Even now…

"You found it?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes, refusing to touch the material in Kai's hand.

"Yep," Kai nodded with a serious expression. "I found it while snooping in Hyuga's Compound. It was in Yuka Hyuga's fiance's drawers. So, you know, beat the living shit out of Hiashi Hyuga, and lemme access your library."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

Tsunade deadpanned.

"No."

Kai's eyes grew wider as he clenched the panties in his hand and puckered his lips—

"Yeah, you aren't Kushina. Instead of looking like a doll, you're like a…" Tsunade scrunched her brows with disgust. "... a constipated crow."

Immediately crestfallen at his lacking rizz when he needed the most, Kai exhaled loudly and stuffed the silken artifact in his pouch.

"Ehm, that's mine."

"What's yours?" Kai blinked, playing the fool.

Sighing explosively, Tsunade shook her head. "Look, I want to help grandma as much as you, maybe more! However, most of the stuff recorded in the library is forbidden for the masses, and since I've read all of it, I know it's useless for grandma's illness."

Kai took his seat in silence as the declaration made his shoulders slump.

Silence blanketed the duo until Tsunade reached out to pat the boy's head. Her fingers brushed his hair as she reassured him in a gentle tone.

"Don't think of it as—"

"Do you have the scroll for the seal around Uzumaki Residence? I asked Mito-sama, but she said she didn't keep such knowledge in the residence and handed it to Lord Second."

Kai interjected Tsunade as the latter wisely shut her mouth. It was apparent that Kai didn't need any assurances, not yet. Pondering for a moment, Tsunade shook her head.

"It depends on your goals. Learning about the seal won't heal Grandma. It also wouldn't address the root cause if you plan to help Kushina once she becomes the Jinchuriki."

Kai furrowed his brows.

"Seals are only one part of the equation," Tsunade explained. "The Four Symbols Seal can contain many ordinary beings and consciousness. However, Bijuus are anything but ordinary. Their chakra can bleed into the seal. That's why the Uzumaki residence had another external seal imposed on Grandma."

Kai clicked his tongue before muttering.

"Some protector he was. Who imprisons a fucking bijuu in their wife—"

Tsunade chuckled.

"Grandpa didn't ask Grandma to become the Jinchuriki." Her words shocked Kai. "She became a Jinchuriki on her accord. You should… talk to her."

Her expression turned sad.

"Listen to what she has to say before it's too late."

Kai nodded as Tsunade suddenly stood.

"I'll get the scroll with the seal's information. Oh, and I better see my underwear returned to the laundry by the time I return."

Kai shook his head. What underwear? Was Tsunade on fumes? Kai didn't need some scroll in exchange for an 'imaginary' soft, green panties as he didn't wait for Tsunade and took the chance to escape. There was no way he would trade that 'fictional' artifact for anything other than forbidden scrolls!

Heck, he could persuade Jiraiya to reveal some forbidden jutsu with the panties as a price…

But why would Kai do that?

He surpassed his seniors!

Kai only had one doubt… would Mito let him observe the seal?

He wanted to help her.

But if he couldn't, Kai would be satisfied with the next best thing—alleviating Kushina's fears.

He liked his redheaded devil smug and annoying, not sulking.

***

Alternate Title: Kai Casually Carving Kaguya On Mikoto's Kunai; The Shameless Gift; Kushina Knows How To Give Presents; The Jealous Uchiha; Kai Needs More Angry Uchiha Rabbits In His Life; Sasuke and Itachi With Sharingan: Pain and Despair. (Mikoto With Sharingan: Constant Horni); Fugaku Is Literally The Most Sane Shinobi… Until He Took Itachi For War Experience; Leave It To An Uchiha To Form Conclusions; Mikoto: Oh, no! He Wants To Force Me To Marry Him! (Fugaku: We Don't Do That Here. It's Not Xanxia); Sharingan's Limits; Fanon Lore?; Yata Fulfills a Certain Paternal Role Of a Dad Committing To Humble Brags; Mikoto About To Give Yata The Silent Treatment For Weeks!; Kushina=Koala; Don't Anger Mito; Mito About To Put a Hole Through… *Fucking Coughs, Breaks Her Back, and Gets Bedridden*; Minato, The Bae Supreme; And So, Konoha's Orphan Population Sighs In Relief; Uzumaki and Kaguya Clan Was Truly Differed By The Color Of Their Hair; Uzumaki General Playtime: War Crimes; Kai Must Have Thrived In Uzumaki Chaos; Eris Would Have Been a Perfect Uzumaki; Kurama Always Has The Best Comments; Tobirama FR Said: We Have Enough Shit With Uchiha, Don't Add Uzumaki In The Fray; An Uzumaki's Sign of Love: Hospital Fees; Kai Really Has Kushina Shook In Fear; The Uzumaki Curse; The Violent Whirlpool; Kushina Truly Changed Kai AND Mito; Happy Little Accidents; Kurama FR: Dad! Smite The Bitch!; Average Kai Moment: The Urge To Murder And Commit Suicide With Gin's Bankai; Tobirama and Hashirama Already Completed Kai's Wish List And More; Kai's True Treasure Was The Panties He Stole Along The Way; Kai's Eventual Transformation Into an Incel?; Tsunade Experiencing The Worst Timeline (Mito and Kai: Make It Double!); Kai Never Forgets His Grudges; Somewhere, a Hyuga Shuddered In Fright; The Difference Between Kushina and Kai: Adorable Kitty Face From Puss in Boots; Kai: What Underwear?; Kai Likes His Harem Sadist; Mito Really Looked At Kurama and Said: BET!

***

A/N: This should have been the end of the volume originally. But as I said, I constantly rewrote it and added many things. I didn't have the little Minato/Kai stuff before, or the panty shenanigans with Tsunade. Instead, there was only Mikoto's realization, the dialogs between Mito and Kushina as per Minato oneshot, and some more fun stuff (in next chapter) before ending the volume with a massive change and a… tease? Anyway, I'm happy with the results but not the duration it needed and feel I could be doing better. Again, sorry for the delay but FGN stuff is coming slower to me these days, that's why I branched to Rizzsanity and editing POI in the background.

***

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