RE: Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Hentai Shinobi Rule 42: Behold! A Goblin!

***

A round, full moon illuminated the sky above Konoha without any clouds masking its presence. Though arguably warmer, the nights in Konoha proved comfortable due to adequate housing facilities provided to everyone. It wasn't as if Konoha didn't have its batch of needy individuals. However, there was always a helping hand present to take care of them, even if one of these hands happened to be bandaged, hiding secrets of past victims and ambitious future under its furled coating. Such a hand would drag a few away, regardless of someone's age, gender, and past accomplishments—it would devour them in the dark, untouched alleys, dragging them into the damp abyss within which a tree's root survived.

Where the Root fed on anything and everything, growing in reckless abandon with hopes of nourishing the tree.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

Each knock on a peculiar door resounded in the empty halls where two masked figures stood guard under a shadow. It was a building within a high-profile residential area, providing massive suites per floor for those who could afford the price. Undoubtedly, such a building boasted its security to keep the unwanted and unwelcome at bay. Yet, there were only a few places the bandaged hand, now curled into a fist against the door, could not reach.

Sporting a cross-shaped scar on his chin, Danzo momentarily gazed at his bandaged arm. It was bound to earn suspicion one of these days despite Hiruzen merely showing curiosity about the new look instead of doubts. So, he had waited enough. He needed someone with experience and wit to treat the fraction of raw power coursing through that arm.

*Click*

Danzo's lone eye met Orochimaru's slitted pupils as the latter's thin lips curled into an understanding smile.

"I don't like to be kept waiting," Danzo said, emphasizing his dissatisfaction. "Your talents have been wasted for enough months."

Orochimaru retained his silence, glancing at the end of the corridor where he noticed the two Root operatives before stepping inside and giving Danzo a wide berth to enter his humble abode.

"Should I pick a poison for you?" Orochimaru offered after he closed the door. "I have rat poison, mosquito poison, and diluted acids ripe for picking."

"I'm not here for pointless banter," Danzo spoke concisely. "Or would you like me to inform Hiruzen that you're aware of your past?"

Orochimaru paused before chuckling. He sat opposite Danzo with a smile, replying, "And what are you going to tell Sensei? That you went behind his explicit orders to expose the truth about my father? How, in his search for the Legendary Ryuchi Cave, he experimented with several sperm-donated specimens of his before inevitably failing and disappearing under mysterious circumstances. Ah, there was also the bit about my mother being his assistant, eagerly offering her eggs."

The more Orochimaru spoke, the gloomier Danzo's expression grew until he inevitably interjected. "Yet, you kept everything from Hiruzen. Broken trust can never be repaired, and you have become incapable of placing your beliefs on Hiruzen's shoulders. Assist me. Our relationship would be that of mutual understanding and benefits instead of something as foolish as trust."

Orochimaru grew quiet. He cared little about Danzo and his schemes. All Hiruzen's prodigy wanted was to survive the mechanisms of fate that led to his current circumstances. Indeed, Danzo was a way out. However, Orochimaru would lose his leverage the second the bandaged cunt realized about the former's condition. It was one of the several reasons Orochimaru made Tsunade keep his condition a secret; otherwise, Danzo would have learned many things from Hiruzen by now.

"If I can be honest," Orochimaru sighed before shaking his head. "What am I saying? Of course, I can be honest with you. I wouldn't have understood my origins without your sincerity." His smile widened.

"Your research doesn't intrigue me." His slitted pupils focused on Danzo's bandaged eye before crawling onto his bandaged arm. "What you desire is too simple, effortless even. I could do that in a matter of months."

"Is it effortless, or will it take months?" Danzo scoffed. "Don't lie. I offer the single-most valuable research data available to any shinobi since the creation of the Shinobi Villages."

"Not for me," Orochimaru shrugged. "It's better to avoid exposure unless you have other intriguing subjects."

Danzo narrowed his eye. "What do you need?"

"I don't need anything," The recently unemployed Jonin smirked.

"What. Is. it?" Danzo repeated, emphasizing his annoyance with each word.

"Well, if you insist," Orochimaru hummed. "I caught wind of a strange kekkei genkai during my unofficial missions. They are a peculiar bunch. Catch me one of their kind for experimentation, peak specimen if possible. I'd target their leader."

Danzo snorted before standing up.

"Send my men their details. I won't tolerate further delays once I hold my part of the deal."

<<<>>>

[Shuriken Formation Art (20/20) (C)]

[Kunai Formation Art (20/20) (C)]

These two skills were the advancements from the academy-level shuriken and kunai skills that Kai hadn't mastered. These contained descriptions of using threaded shurikens and kunais to weave pseudo-traps intent on killing targets that inadvertently poked it. Unfortunately, Senbon's dimension didn't allow such sophisticated tactics, and using larger needles invalidated senbon's advantages in the first place.

Kai picked these two skills after mastering [Leaf Slash] to mainly cover his basics before he delved into sickles and focused on his raw stats.

'Should I do it?' Kai walked out of Ninja Tools Roll Roll Roll with another batch of Senbons and a chained sickle as he gazed at the night sky. It wasn't too late, and he'd been lately roaming the streets to find a way to follow Nono. It was just honest curiosity. Not that Mito had anything to say about it since she didn't stop him from leaving the residence after sundown. However, following Nono would have its consequences.

First, Kai wasn't entirely confident in keeping his tracks hidden. Second, Kushina woke one day and chose to be a super sensor. She was possibly keeping track of him at this very moment. So, the redhead would question why Kai didn't return to the residence on time for their daily baths.

'Do all Uzumaki like massages so much?' Kai wondered, wandering the dim streets with his arms behind his head. 'Mito-sama loves her daily massage, and Kushina isn't different when washing her head.'

*Hissss*

Cinnamon softly hissed as Kai chuckled.

"Yep, we're both hungry. Let's stop by the grocery to snack on something."

Kai hummed a happy tune as he turned to an alley. Of course, he would have beelined to the nearest store to feed Cinnamon bits of pieces that simply filled Kai's heart with how adorable it looked if not for the unknown chakra signature coolly lying in the wait.

Of course, it wasn't an advisable decision. Heck, Kai would lay Kushina on his lap before slapping her bottom, red and ripe as an apple, if she showed such lapses of judgment. Of course, such disciplinary actions would be conducted under his authority as the Guardian. But Kai firmly believed in making the rules, not following them—mostly. He had done worse things than entering a dark alley with an unknown shinobi boasting chakra reserves that were not unlike Mikoto's stock of Uchiha goodness ever since he wormed his way into this world.

So, Kai unwittingly whistled after identifying the individual and their supposed reason for lying in wait. His instincts were usually spot-on in such cases. However, Kai knew more about the circumstances this time due to the 'flavor' of the third party's chakra.

"Say, Hyuga-san," Kai stopped a few cautious feet away, having known enough about the infamous breed of stuck-up dojutsu users. "When you look at someone's chakra through the Byakugan, do you see it in different colors? Would it mean every individual has minute differences in color? Do you memorize every color if that's the case, or am I wrong?" He wouldn't be half as cocky if a Jonin Hyuga were lying in wait. No, it would have been squared-up hands right away! Fortunately, that wasn't the case.

The alley's darkness failed to hide the fair-skinned girl whose sleek and straight raven locks cascaded down her back, past the demure Hyuga outfit of traditionally loose robes. So, the boy blinked.

"Did you wear wooden sandals?" He pointed at her feet. "Won't those be super uncomfortable to be beaten in?"

"How could you say those mean things about Hikari-san?!" She snapped, her fists clenched with an urge to pound Kai's face into the ground.

Kai tilted his head.

"Hikari? Who's that?"

"My caretaker! How could you say those horrible things to someone so kind?!"

'Me saying stupid things to kind people? Do you know how little it narrows things down to?' Kai sighed. However, the keyword—caretaker— was all he needed as he recalled one of the Hyuga nurses he disciplined after Shira and her entourage took liberties with his cheeks.

"Oh, her name was Hikari? I don't recall saying anything wrong to her. All I did was beat her fiance and then made her heal him again to repeat the process." Kai smiled. "You got a fiance? Hyuga Clan is quick to engage children from the main branch with each other."

The girl bit her bottom lip before hissing, "You called her a slave! Hikari-san cried for days."

"Hah!" Kai barked before giggling. "That's rich. You cunts enslave your own kind and get offended when someone speaks about it? Don't waste my time. Tell me if you've got a fiance I could beat up later."

Despite his question, the girl stepped back with a shocked expression.

"W-What did you call me?"

"Hmm? What?"

"That word. How can you call a girl that?"

"A cunt?" Kai frowned. "My bad. I didn't mean to be so insensitive."

The girl's expression eased before Kai continued, "I was calling your father and forefathers cunts, every one of them. Stinking ones, too, riddled with all sorts of diseases and fleas." His expression brightened as he watched the girl cover her mouth with disgust.

He looked around before wondering out loud. "I hope your—"

"Why would you say all these things?" The girl interjected with a sobbing voice, surprising Kai. His eyes widened as he watched tears drip down the girl's slightly rounded cheeks. "Hikari-san and other branch members have to hide their foreheads, but for you to ruthlessly call her demeaning things isn't right."

Ordinarily, others would feel disgusted by themselves. The girl in front of Kai proved to be far more innocent than anticipated. She was like a weird blend of Kushina's naivety and Mikoto's politeness. Her looks also resembled the strange, illegitimate mix of duo.

However, Kai sighed.

"Of the many things you could do with those wonderful eyes, you choose to cry," he shook his head. He expected someone from the Main Family to pack a serious punch.

'Which means someone followed this stupid bitch,' Kai concentrated, unable to find any other notable Chakra Signature around them.

The choked sobs filled the alley until Kai noticed an unpleasant change.

"Stop! We've had enough of you, Kai! I remember explicitly informing you that your antics won't be considered innocent pranks ever since you assaulted the Hospital's nurses!"

Three individuals surrounded Kai with gloomy expressions, and the fourth one, an Inuzuka Kunoichi, comforted the crying girl.

He looked around before shrugging. Yet his calm gaze returned to the crying girl.

What a brilliant bitch.

It could not be a coincidence that the girl's guardian was nowhere to be found, only to have the alley accosted by one of the police patrol squads.

<<<>>>

"What were you thinking?!" Tsunade barked with a deep frown as Kai sat across her, his head hung low. The urge to look around his Sensei's house was too immense, yet Kai was nothing but willpower and chaos given flesh and form. It wouldn't have played to his objectives of earning Tsunade's favor by acting like an eager lunatic sniffing around her adobe.

"Sorry, Sensei," Kai sighed. "I was careless with that Hyuga chick. There won't be a next time."

It wasn't like Kai hated the girl. If anything, he was more impressed because she was the ticket for his first time into the Uchiha Police Station. However, the visit was cut short by Tsunade's prompt arrival.

"I don't care about that," Tsunade snorted before she slapped something on the table, making the two glasses of water tremble.

It was a slip of thin, off-white-colored paper. Ordinary as it may have looked, the paper boasted significant importance in a shinobi's development.

A chakra paper.

Kai stared at the slip before meeting Tsunade's gaze.

"You're not angry I got caught?"

"Why should I be? It's about time someone held you responsible for your antics. What would you have done to Yuka Hyuga had she not tipped off the nearest patrol team?"

'I would have made her cry more,' Kai kept his thoughts a secret—

"You would have made the girl cry for real," Tsunade scoffed.

Oh, well. Who knew Kai had gotten predictable? It was the second time today someone understood his thought process.

"Now," Tsunade regathered the tension around the room as she interlocked her fingers. "Why did you buy the chakra paper?"

"To test my affinity," Kai replied. "I thought I'd train a bit on my own—"

"Because you think I can't handle your shit?" Tsunade interjected with a frosty tone.

"Uh, no?" Kai blinked. How could he admit to Tsunade he needed to master Yin and Yang Nature Release skills before he could officially unlock Mystic Palms Skill? Using the jutsu in the first session was pure Kai goodness instead of any benefits from the trait. It was like using the Clone Jutsu without assistance from his Trait since it also required the mastery of Yin Release.

"Then what?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Why didn't you come to me for your chakra test? Do you think only Orochimaru and Jiraiya can offer you good advice?"

Kai couldn't help but feel weird, which must have shown on his face as Tsunade exhaled a soft sigh before supporting her head on her hands.

"Nothing. Just forget I said that." Tsunade issued in a gentle voice.

"We noticed you were tired, Sensei," Kai spoke up, making Tsunade incline her head as she gazed at the youth. "Also, it wasn't a secret you beat Dan Kato to a near-death state. I guess I wanted to give you some space. At least, that's what Mikoto said we should do. I wanted to visit Dan with balloons and flowers. Oh! I also wanted to celebrate since it meant one less rival~!"

'Yeah, that Harem thing,' Tsunade exhaled before shaking her head. "A party does sound nice." She hummed.

"That was it?" Tsunade's amber orbs focused on the pale-skinned youth, who shrugged with a cheeky smirk.

"What else?" He replied. "Besides, I think I'm sufficiently adequate with Taijutsu and should redirect my focus to Genjutsu and Ninjutsu. Mito-sama suggested it was better to start training my affinities, making kneading the chakra for said Jutsu easier. I also think I have a solid grasp of my chakra control."

The last part was one of the significant reasons Kai could perform Mystic Palms in his first training session.

Tsunade grew silent as Kai picked up his glass of water before taking a sip. Cinnamon slipped from his sleeve to dip her head in the glass and quench her thirst.

"What was that bit about Jiraiya and Orochimaru-san?" Kai picked up the conversation as Tsunade grunted. "I told you to forget about it."

"Okay," Kai shrugged before feigning nervousness. "Can I sleep here tonight, Sensei? It's so late and dark. I'm scared another Hyuga skank might assault me."

The blonde Senju rolled her eyes before standing up. "Stay put."

Kai watched Tsunade close all her windows before covering them with curtains and activating several seals around her house. She was methodical and swift, returning to her seat with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

"Go ahead." She looked at Kai. "Use the Chakra Paper."

Kai twitched, barely containing his excitement as he picked up the paper and covered it with his palms. Meanwhile, Tsunade kept her complicated thoughts hidden.

"Wait," she suddenly informed. "Don't cover the paper with both your hands. Seeing the reaction live is better, so hold the paper between your index and middle finger.

"Kay~!" Kai grinned, performing as instructed before slipping a minute strand of his chakra into the paper. Three pairs of eyes observed the induction paper with several thoughts running in two minds. Cinnamon just wanted something to eat.

'It's probably water release, right? I gotta be able to make my targets wet if I want a Harem~!' Kai contained himself from giggling.

'Let's hope it's not a troublesome Kekkei Genkai if he has one in the first place,' Tsunade sighed. No wonder she secured her house before allowing Kai to use the paper.

So, the duo's eyelids jumped in surprise as the chakra paper bisected itself, slipping out of Kai's hold. However, things had yet to conclude. While descending, one-half of the paper darkened from its once off-white color before wrinkling and then crumbling into bits. Meanwhile, the other half looked significantly fairer as it dampened before shockingly catching fire that turned the paper into ashes.

A deafening silence pervaded Tsunade's dining area as the crumbling bits and ashes formed a miniature mound on the table, leaving the duo speechless with the results.

Several thoughts leading to devastating implications overshadowed the duo's minds as Kai's Trait sprang several notification panels in his vision.

[Stat attributes scanned and adjusted. New stat attributes unlocked.]

[Fire: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with fire release and chakra spectrum.]

[Wind: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with wind release and chakra spectrum.]

[Lightning: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with lightning release and chakra spectrum.]

[Earth: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with earth release and chakra spectrum.]

[Water: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with water release and chakra spectrum.]

[Yin: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with yin release and chakra spectrum.]

[Yang: This stat represents the host's fundamental affinity with yang release and chakra spectrum.]

Kai heard Tsunade's breath catch in her throat as he quickly looked up, matching her incredulous gaze. Yeah, he should have fought to perform this testing privately—

No.

His thoughts contorted into twisted urges. Kai had never seen Tsunade so speechless. She had always been warm, understanding, and downright sassy. Unlike others, Tsunade didn't hesitate to beat the smugness out of Kai occasionally. So, noticing the flash of nervousness in Tsunade's eyes intrigued Kai more than it had any right to. There were no movements aside from Cinnamon slithering near Kai's glass for another sip of water as they kept staring at each other, with Tsunade remaining in a rightful daze.

Kai could suspect what was going on in Tsunade's head.

Chakra wasn't as cut and dry as explained in the academy—where a Shinobi needed to knead their chakra to perform different actions. Kai had gained immense knowledge about the subject from his skills and understood that Chakra mimicked various sophisticated aspects of life. For instance, the human body has uncountable components that lead to a functioning life down to the last cell. Similarly, Chakra had several aspects—from its fundamental characteristics of flowing, sticking, and dissipating to its inherent affinities with several elements and its capabilities to create substances.

So, everyone's chakra formed a dominant affinity with peculiar elements, allowing a Shinobi to access said nature transformation more quickly than other elements. Mikoto and the Uchiha Clan are good examples. They are known to be a fire nature transformation dominant clan, with the lightning nature transformation being a close second. Compared to them, the other Dojutsu Clan—the Hyuga—are known to be predominantly geared for wind nature transformation.

However, it did not imply that a Shinobi's chakra only had one nature transformation. On the contrary, one's chakra had aspects of all nature transformation of varying degrees.

The glitched-out chakra paper aside, what puzzled Tsunade must have been that Kai's chakra responded to every nature transformation with an equal affinity down to the microscopic level!

It wasn't natural.

Nobody had equal primary affinities—ever.

'So, his kekkei genkai either allows him to be good at every nature transformation—' Tsunade regained her focus as she met Kai's quiet look.

'—or I suck at every nature transformation equally.' Kai concluded. He knew Tsunade must have formed similar deductions.

But nothing could keep Kai from recalling the flash of nervousness in Tsunade's eyes. Did she fear him? If Kai's learned anything from Tsunade, including his somewhat childish standoff when they began their D-rank missions, he knew it was best to be open with people he treasures or eventually wanted to treasure.

"Are you afraid, Sensei?" Kai's words hung in the silent room. Tsunade's house was nothing short of welcoming and spacious. Heck! The youth knew Tsunade must have moved Nawaki's personal effects after the latter's demise. So, her house might also appear eerie in a different lighting. His question seemed to reignite Tsunade's previous emotions as she expertly hid everything except the sliver of guilt in her amber orbs.

"Of you?" Team 9 Sensei's regained her flair as she snorted. "We don't know if you have a kekkei genkai or if the chakra paper was faulty."

"When was the last time a chakra paper had any issues?"

"Shut up."

Tsunade exhaled a tired sigh. "Is this why you got the hang of Mystic Palms so quickly? Have you tried other elemental ninjutsu?"

Kai shook his head. He never had any chance. Besides, he wasn't like others. His previous world was filled with the weirdest shit. Compared to that, the Shinobi world might be tamer except for the whole child soldier thing.

Maybe not?

Abused pre-teens in his previous life also tended to cause destruction.

"Do I get to name my Kekkei Genkai?" Kai inquired.

"Sure," Tsunade shrugged. "What do you want to call it?"

"All-Cummer—"

"Nope."

"But—"

"Stop goofing around, Kai! It's a more serious matter than you can imagine," Tsunade frowned. "You cannot let anyone know about it except for Grandma—not even Kushina."

Kai paused, feeling several things at once. He was annoyed that Tsunade, of all individuals in his life, felt nervous for some reason when she'd been his go-to person to process his emotions. He wanted to poke fun at it, yet he also felt compelled not to follow that train of thought. How would he have felt if Tsunade had chosen to rip his insecurities asunder with all the mean puns she could think of?

Shitty.

Yet, it also never stopped Kai before. Again, the downsides of emotions reared their ugly head, and Kai's stubbornness in not resorting to mimicking the Gamer's Mind to cull his feelings made the matter worse. Great! He also itched to show Yuka Hyuga the error of her ways and discipline her in her parents' stead—IF she had any.

Hopefully not.

"Are you alright?" Tsunade's words brought Kai back from his internal rants as he glimpsed before retorting. "Are you, Sensei?"

Tsunade avoided his gaze before smiling. "I am, you little shit. If you're going to waste our time sitting here, why don't you grab me some booze from that counter?"

Kai glanced at the pointed counter before scoffing. "Just use your clone. I'm a guest here. You should be giving me a tour of your drawers and thanking me that I'm willing to stay in Team 9."

Sure, the mid-evolutionary hobgoblin had his moments of denseness. However, he caught onto things when sufficiently clued in. A few moments of thinking let Kai realize that Tsunade only began showing signs of being troubled after he got the hang of Mystic Palms in a single sitting. Her irritation with Kai not consulting her about chakra testing and sarcasm against Jiraiya and Orochimaru—alongside the annoyance flashing on Tsunade's features after his snarky response—pointed at the youth's observation to be correct, or near the objective truth.

And it only took him about two months to figure that out compared to realizing Kushina, Mikoto, and Tsume's infatuation with him, which took about… a year.

Progress!

One step closer to being the best Harem Lord there could ever be!

"You want to spend the night here, don't you?" Tsunade snorted.

"Absolutely, ma'am!"

"Then get me drunk! Chop-Chop!"

<<<>>>

"Uhh…" Tsunade sat groggily, groaning as the sunlight beamed into her room past the uncovered windows with curtains pulled aside for some un-Rikudo reasons. No, she wasn't buzzed from last night despite what her disheveled clothes indicated. The slipped blanket revealed more skin than Tsunade wanted anyone to see, especially with a disastrous case of bed hair.

She looked around the room, unbothered by her condition, before blinking.

'Where's Kai?'

Acquainted with several perverts in her life, Tsunade half-expected her prodigious guardian to worm his way into her bedroom for snooping like any other shit-stain—one of the reasons she activated several seals in her room to catch him red-handed and pound him into oblivion to ease her stress after last night's events.

However, that didn't happen.

She sniffed, smelling a tantalizing scent wafting to her bedroom alongside three familiar chakra signatures occupying her residence. A glance at the clock revealed the time to be near 5 am—

Tsunade paused before looking at the bright morning through her window.

'I need to change the batteries again. Fuck,' Tsunade groaned as a chore lined up for the day.

She left her bed to inspect her wardrobe and drawers.

Untouched.

Tsunade couldn't help but raise her eyebrow, thoroughly impressed. 'He took my words to his heart, eh?'

A smile crept up her face despite everything.

She could respect Kai's determination. At least he didn't pull a Dan by drugging her when she revealed some vulnerability.

Adjusting her clothes, Tsunade walked down the stairs to witness Kai flipping pancakes in the kitchen. Kushina and Mikoto sat with eager expressions and empty plates stained with butter.

"Ehm," Tsunade cleared her throat, making the duo jump in surprise as Kai scoffed, flipping two pans to make the pancakes fly back and land on the girls' plate.

"Of course, your throat is sore, Sensei. I had to look through CRATES of booze before realizing that you probably shit sake, too! Geez, how much do you drink?"

"I'm hungry," Tsunade shamelessly hummed as she sat beside the girls, offering them short smiles. "And who let you two inside?"

"W-We don't know anything!" Kushina stammered before blinking. "Yep! The door was open, dattebane!"

'She gets more pancakes than others,' Kai nodded, eager to reinforce positive behavior with rewards.

"I also woke here," Mikoto mumbled with a subtly sour expression. "You let anyone sleep here, Sensei."

'She's got the spirit,' Kai grew pleased. 'More pancake for the pouty sweet tooth, too.'

"Did Kai tell you why he spent the night here?" Tsunade rolled her eyes at her team's antics.

"Yuka Hyuga blindsided him," Mikoto straightened her back. "Father told me this morning that you helped him out."

"Wait, what?" Kushina blanked out. "That happened? Who's Yuka? Kai-chan! You told me Sensei begged you to stay the night because she wanted a man."

Kai maintained his calm as Mikoto's and Tsunade's gazes drilled holes through the back of his head.

"Something like that," Kai replied coolly, much to the trio's exasperation.

Still, it was more than a decent morning for Tsunade, even if she woke up late. Maybe having someone at home wasn't a bad idea since she hadn't slept this well in a while. Heck! Kai was surprisingly… well-behaved.

Sending the trio off to the Hospital, Tsunade entered the bathroom to freshen up. However, she couldn't help but glance at her laundry rack. Momentarily thoughtful, Tsunade decided to look through her clothes—

"Motherfucker! He took my underwear!"

It turned out that Kai was a different breed, even when compared to Dan, Jiraiya, Hiruzen, and more!

He slept in, flipped through her kitchen, invited others, and raided her laundry BEFORE acting like the innocent chef!

'I can beat him after this,' Tsunade huffed as she locked her bathroom.

***

Alternate Title: Orochimaru Is The Kind of Host To Truly Offer Poison; Danzo's Aim; The Blooming Partnership; Peaked Interest; A Strange Kekkei Genkai?; Cinnamon Never Got Her Dinner; Kai To His Future Kids: Never Enter Dark Alleys (Also Kai When He Encounters a Dark Alley: It's The Great Age of Exploration); Rules For You; Kai Understands The Essence of Politics; Tsunade's Insecurities; Kai's Got Spirit; Progress; Kai On His Grind To Understand Harem—One Step Forward And Two Step Back; The Kekkei Genkai; Equally Bad In All?; The Brilliant Hyuga?; The Cheeky Opponent; Kai's New Opps: Nono and Yuka; The Uchiha Patrol; Caught; Kai: What? Sensei DOES Need a Man; Spinning Tales Like None Other; A Gentlemanly Pervert Indeed; Kai: I'll Never Snoop Tsunade's Drawers Because She Doesn't Like It (Also Kai When He Sees The Unsupervised Laundry Tsunade Said Nothing About: It's Free Real Estate); The Nature Release Training Inbound; The Vanilla FGN Tsunade Looking Away In Shame; Chad RE Tsunade Encouraging Training And Teaching Kai The Reigns Of Harem And Boundaries; Every Harem Lord Needs a Harem Coach; Mikoto and Kushina Better Gear Up; Tsunade's Late Morning; Flipping Pancakes Like a Pro

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