Only Realized After Losing You

18. You Are Already a Good Person

Lennon jerked his finger toward the glass window of the balcony behind me.

I followed his finger and twisted my slightly bowed head back.

Then the banquet hall came into view.

“You see all those people? There is also a knight here who is my right-hand man. Find out who he is. He’s on suspension, by the way.”

Suspended.

As soon as I heard that word, there was someone who immediately came to mind.

‘I was suspended because of my strange taste for hands… I was wondering what I was going to do with my life. Then I met Miss Ellie’s father.’

A knight, Lebrado, who said he was suspended from a job he loved.

Lennon continued his description of his right-hand man, the knight.

“Why was he suspended? He had an accident. Like a dog … Oh, this isn’t an insult, he’s like a puppy. Whimpering. A real dog barking.”

“… … .”

“Anyway, he’s like a puppy, loyal to his master, which is all well and good, but sometimes he’s like a crazy dog. He’s crazy about one thing, and it’s gotten him into some trouble…”

I think I know what that crazy dog ​​is crazy about.

Hands, maybe?

Did Lebrado do some crazy hand-related things while in the Knights Templar?

At the same time, there was a scene that was naturally drawn in my mind.

It was him licking someone’s hand like a dog.

I was very curious who the owner of that hand was.

Certainly not Lennon’s hand.

I looked around the inside of the banquet hall, looking for Lebrado’s brown hair.

Because he was a large guy, he would be noticeable even from a distance.

Indeed, my prediction was not wrong.

Lebrado, dressed in a rather nice gray tailcoat, caught my eye.

He may have arrived late, but he was passing through the banquet hall door impatiently.

Then suddenly Lebrado’s head snapped up.

He looked up at the balcony where I was.

His sharp senses were an indicator that he was a knight.

Despite the considerable distance, our eyes immediately met.

“… … .”

Lebrado seemed to recognize me.

He looked very surprised.

He seemed shocked that I was in the Duke of Hills’ banquet hall.

He paused for a moment to make eye contact, but then started walking again.

The destination of his steps was the balcony where Lennon and I were together.

Could it be his original owner, Lennon, that the mad dog was looking for?

Or was it me, who recently became his new owner?

Before long, the balcony door was wide open.

“Master, why are you here?”

It might be a pity for Lennon. Lebrado’s gaze was only focused on me.

He was staring at me, someone had only been his owner for two days.

“… Lebrado? Do you know Miss Ellie?”

“… ? Uh? Ugh! Why are you here, Mister Lennon?”

Lebrado seemed to belatedly recognize Lennon’s presence.

He ended up saying the same thing twice.

“I want to go.”

Lennon let out a sigh full of disbelief.

I stretched out my hand, leaving the two confused people as they were.

My outstretched index finger pointed at Lebrado.

‘You see all those people? There is also a knight here who is my right-hand man. Find out who he is. He’s on suspension, by the way.’

It was the answer to Lennon’s question.

I never dreamed that I would get caught like this…

I looked at Lennon blankly, as if asking if my answer was wrong.

Lennon responded by roughly ruffling his hair.

“Ha. I feel like I’ve been drawn in by you.”

Then it was Lebrado’s turn to question.

“How do you two know each other?”

Lebrado’s brown hair swayed smoothly as he tilted his head from side to side.

Lebrado’s hair felt quite nice when touched.

I stared at his hair for a long time, unkempt even when he came to the banquet.

Yesterday, when he came to see me, his hair was well done.

Lennon paid no heed to Lebrado’s reaction and whispered softly to me.

“No way… my dog ​​was Miss Ellie’s guest?”

I was stumped.

I wanted to keep the fact that Lebrado was my guest a secret, but Lebrado already revealed that he knew me.

How should I resolve this?

It was at that moment that Lebrado came close to me.

“… Mister Lennon. Doesn’t the master look troubled?”

The atmosphere was strangely different.

There was a big difference between the Lebrado that was fidgeting while looking at me, or rather, at my hands, and the Lebrado that was looking straight into Lennon’s red eyes.

I wondered which one was closer to the ‘real Lebrado’.

Lebrado naturally grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.

He would have thought he was pulling me gently, but he was a knight with a sturdy physique.

I couldn’t resist Lebrado’s strong grip, so I stumbled forward.

My body, which was dragged over, was soon leaning against Lebrado’s arms, almost as if it was being hugged.

“Master, master, I’m sorry for pulling you so hard…”

Lebrado who spoke to me had returned to being a cute man fidgeting in my hands.

I lifted my head, which was forcibly resting against his firm chest.

I smiled a faint smile that meant it was okay. The Labrador smiled back at me.

However, his smile did not last long. It was because of Lennon’s razor-sharp voice.

“Lebrado. Have you forgotten where you are?”

Lennon was staring down Lebrado, his head tilted at a pointed angle.

His chin was set arrogantly, and his red eyes glowed fiercely.

He gave off an irresistible, intimidating aura.

It was similar to the atmosphere I felt in the banquet hall.

It was the kind of aura that made it difficult for others to approach.

“What do you think you’re doing in front of me?”

“… I apologize.”

Even as he said that, Lebrado didn’t let go of my hand.

I could feel the texture of Lebrado’s hand caressing my fingertips.

“I don’t know what your relationship is with Miss Ellie, but she came here today as my partner.”

Lebrado was silent.

With difficulty, he averted his gaze from Lennon.

It was a clear demonstration of the master-servant relationship.

“So let go of Miss Ellie’s hand right now and get the hell out of here.”

“… But.”

“Don’t pout. Will your suspension be longer or shorter… Keep in mind that I am the one who decides that.”

“I’m sorry…”

Lennon’s cold gaze was on our joined hands.

Lebrado let out a sigh so loud that his shoulders dropped.

For the sake of Lebrado who couldn’t easily let go of my hand, I let go of his hand first.

In any case, Lebrado was Lennon’s subordinate.

It was obvious that going against Lennon’s wishes would have a negative impact on Lebrado.

“Master, I’m sorry. I can’t help it now. But I’ll come back for you later.”

I nodded graciously.

Of course, before we meet again, I may suddenly leave somewhere.

If I were to disappear, how would Lebrado feel?

Would he feel despair because the salvation that was extended to him suddenly disappeared?

I felt sad and pitiful for Lebrado.

But that was all.

‘Don’t think that your worth comes from sacrificing yourself.’

Like Lennon said, I didn’t want to sacrifice myself anymore.

The salvation I briefly felt from others was not real salvation.

Lebrado had to realize that.

That he was the one who could save himself.

“Lebrado Resense. Get out now.”

Lebrado turned around with a short, “Yes, sir.”

As he left the balcony, he looked back at me one last time.

I gave a small wave to Lebrado as I had done the other day.

He looked at my hand for a while and then left entirely.

I was concerned about his drooping appearance.

Soon we were alone on the balcony.

Lennon grabbed my hand, which Lebrado was holding before, and dragged me near the railing.

He leaned my body against the railing, and I could feel the wind at my back.

Lennon looked angry for no reason.

He seemed to be displeased with one of his subordinates briefly taking me away from him for a few moments.

“The secret he confessed is obvious.”

“… … .”

“He told you about the part of the body that he’s crazy about, didn’t he?”

I didn’t bat an eye.

Because what Lennon said was so accurate.

It was a bit weird to say no, and it was even weirder to say yes.

I searched in my heart for Lebrado who was no longer with me.

Mr. Labrador Resense. Sorry.

I never meant to reveal your secret.

But I think Lennon has already discovered every single one of your secrets.

And I don’t know what kind of expression to make right now.

This is my first time in a situation like this.

How can I avoid this difficult situation?

It was at that moment that a good idea occurred to me.

I lifted the hand Lennon was holding and spread his palm wide open.

Then I started writing words on it.

⌜I was correct, the allowance is double.⌟

“… Pft, hahahaha.”

Lennon, who seemed angry for no reason before, burst into laughter again.

It was nice to hear Lennon’s booming laughter carried by the blowing wind.

“You make it impossible to keep an angry face.”

He said something that might have been a complaint or a lament.

“I lost. I’ll stop pushing you now. The answer is already obvious.”

I was glad that the atmosphere had calmed down.

Phew, I took a short breath.

“It’s funny, when I’m talking to you, I forget for a moment that I kissed my stepmother.”

“… … .”

“I know that I am a shameless person, but when I am with you, I feel like a very good person.”

Aside from the fact that he kissed his stepmother, Lennon was a pretty nice guy.

He never treated me badly, even though I was a lowly commoner, was always considerate and wanted me to talk.

He said things about me that were different from the life I lived, and he worried about the things I would lose by not expressing them.

If I could speak now, what I would like to say to him was clear.

‘You’re already a good person.’

But as expected, nothing came out between the lips. Silence.

I felt a little bad that I couldn’t let him know that he was a good person.