Not ABOUT NOW

True to my words i never set eyes on him again for two full weeks ever since the party. There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't miss him. Whenever i think about him, my mood would change. I normally become sad but could coat it so that no one around me noticed especially mum. Motherly instinct or what ever it was called was strong on her side.

 A year ago when I didn't understand the concept of crush, I had to ask my dad. He normally used less words and I felt my secret was safe with him. Mum would have started suspecting me for what I did not do and didn't want that to happen.

It was a sunday night, dad was resting on the chair with a newspaper in his hand. It was a break from looking at the screen of a computer for almost 12 hours. I dragged a lounger to where he was, fixing it across form him. Dad folded his paper on his lap giving me his inquisitive look. "Don't look to me like you just feel like sitting there and watching me read," He said, grabbing his newspaper.

 "Dad, what does it feel like to have a crush on somebody?" I asked, a little conscious of my decision to tell him about that. As expected, his face turned into a muddled look. 

"Tali, I hope you know you're only 14 right?" I shivered a little, That was his starting point to get angry. I knew better than to let that happen. "I found the word in the dictionary and wasn't quite satisfied with it meaning. I feel it has more to it. " I explained in my most innocent voice, possible. I wasn't lying anyway.

 Daddy was mute for sometimes as if trying to believe me. Later, he coughed to clear his throat.

" Having a crush on someone is another word for being sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex. Many at times, its been confused with love. Though for some instances, it does develop into love, especially if the both sex feel the same way towards each other. It accompanies with it the fast racing of your heart when you see him/her. And there is a difference feeling in your stomach, for some people it feels like butterflies, some Knots. Sometimes it makes you do foolish things or makes you foolish. These are similar signs to love, " I owed all through this speech.

 "What then is the difference between being in love and having a crush?" I inquired.

 "Good question. Crushes don't last long, they are short-lived but love, can last for a very long time. You won't just want the person, you'll need them and they are your missing puzzle. Without them, you feel incomplete whether or not you're in a relationship with them. It makes you make sacrifices you never knew you could for them."

 I nodded, recalling all the movies I watched about love "so love can make one die for his lover?"

Dad laughed hysterically in response. "Don't ever put your hope on those, I'm not saying it's not possible but sometimes our worlds are different. I might not be able to die for your mother but I will be the most affected by her absence for instance and if one's not strong enough, they'll completely shut-down."

 "Woah, that's quite complex. So dad, at my age or younger, is it a bad thing to have these kinds of feelings? "I asked

 "It's part of growing up so it is not bad, it's only bad when you begin indulging in immoral things in name of feelings that wouldn't take you anyway. For now, disregard those feelings because the future can be really unpredictable as it comes. "

 Since dad told me those, I never judged any of my friends that talked about a guy or girl they like .My first crush was on a tv actor but as dad said, it was only short-lived. Now with Tony, I was not certain But I was not ready to make mistakes in my life that I would live to regret so I tired too hard to forget about him.

.. .. ..

 A week after, one of my friends invited me to yet another of his Party that was just to chill off for the weekend. Hearing that he hosted it, i turned down the invitation even though I wanted so badly see him. I knew better. 

Exactly the same thing happened the test week, this time, I could not resist it. Knowing mum and dad came home late almost every day, and Dave same, I planned on sneaking out to the 4pm to party because i knew mum was not going to let me.

 Unfortunately for me, mum's vehicle drove into the compound, so sabotaging my plans. Somehow I thanked God that she got back so i would not go against her back.

 My joy didn't last for long as mum and dad came to us one evening to inform us about their trip to UK for a big business deal for a week only. Mum was needed by his side during that period. so the person in charge of the house was Dave but I felt I could Manoeuvres him. It did happen that after school on that Friday, I snook out by 4:30pm to the same venue where the weekend parties were been held.

I wore on me an off-shoulder gown that stopped at the knees or let me say a little above it. It felt like a heart-break that I didn't find Tony, the main reason I was still here. My eyes were tired of searching, I just stood in the dancing room with a glass of drink in my hand. Just when all hope was lost, he appeared beside me with an astonished look. 

 "Talia" "He called in surprise. Even I didn't believe I could be here. "Tuny!" I smiled, and fell into his open arms for a warm hug.

"You came You're looking sweet." He complimented. I blushed and was all shy once again

"Thank you. Not looking bad yourself." He smiled with lips shut, his eyes looking down at his outfit in quick glance. "Thank you," saying that, he wrapped his arms around my shoulder. "Want you to meet my friends".

 We arrived at a group of youths all seated on a cluster of couches. Tony sat on the one in the midst of others with a guy already seated on the other side. 

"Guys, I want you'll to meet Taliana. And Taliana meet my buddies; Jade, Michael, Temi, Tayo, Phil, Bonne, Bisola and the rest.

"Hi" I greeted and they responded friendly.

" Hi Tolia" 

"Nice seeing you"

 "Looking rice, really nice"

The guy sitting close to Tony made a request that caused me to freeze 

"Please sit with us. Tony's laps are an open invitation anyway." He said smirking. I was expecting Tony to say something but he didn't, I felt red as a tomato. They all encouraged me to sit but I didn't. What I did was to slip into the side that was empty. Everyone, went quiet but Tony said something I couldn't quite, catch that made them return to how they wised to be. "Don't worry, I have crazy friends. They didn't mean it anyways so don't mind their stupidity." He said, Putting this arms behind the head Of the couch.

 I smiled a bit, feeling regretful for even coming in the first place. Not only have i embarrassed myself but i proven to these strangers that i don't fit with them. "You're sure you're okay?" Tony whispered to me when he noticed my quietness.

 I nodded. They started playing a sort of game I knew nothing a bout. Tony personally cancelled me off the game. "She's not playing " He said to his friends when they asked.

 " But I can try. " I whispered to him. He proved defiant.

"I said she's not playing "He said again. And that was enough to make them give up. I didn't get mad but I felt embarrassed yet again. It was similar to a truth and dare game but this one looked more of a dare throughout. I was shocked to my core when a girl accepted a dare to go down on one of the boys. They were all Cheering, well except Tony, His face had no expression on it as he watched the girl whining her waist close to a boy's groin. I felt sick to the stomach at the scene

As if on cue, I felt a hand holding mine and pulling me up. I stared at Tony's back as he took me out of the scene.