No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 98

‘Wow, fuck…’

I wanted to laugh it all off as a joke. It felt like if I believed it, there would be no turning back. You gently holding me and whispering that you love me was the wish I had hidden in the deepest part of my heart.

You penetrated me like an arrow cutting through the wind, piercing the wish I had hidden in the most tender and soft place. When a vital point is suddenly grabbed, pain precedes pleasure. I wasn’t happy. I was more afraid and scared.

‘You fucking bastard. Not even knowing what responsibility is.’

Not knowing how fucking terrible it is to take responsibility for a fucking shithead like me. Do you know how selfish I am? Do you know? What do you know… You don’t even know who I really am. Without even knowing who Jeong Ian is, what can you do?

Without even loving me, you…

“Stop speaking formally. I like that better.”

At that moment, my heart sank. Thud. To me, those words sounded like you like Jeong Ian. It’s an overinterpretation, but it sounded like you were saying you prefer me cursing and swearing rather than Cassice Demillang speaking formally… You really have a talent for making people’s hearts drop with words you say without fucking thinking… You fucking bastard.

“Is that good? I don’t like it?”

I forcibly twisted the corners of my mouth and snapped irritably. But Ryuseong, who had regained 100% composure, was smiling somewhat affectionately despite being crooked.

“It’s okay. I’ll take responsibility for everything.”

You’re looking at me like you love me so much you’re going crazy. In fact, that’s what drove me crazy.

‘You son of a bitch.’

Do you want me to fall for it? But what can I do? I have no intention of doing that. I, absolutely won’t misunderstand. The thought that you’ll take responsibility for me forever…

I absolutely won’t.

“You can’t take responsibility for me. I know that.”

“Well. You need to become more arrogant.”

These words were quite absurd. What is this guy, who knows Cassice Demillang’s temperament better than anyone, saying?

“Don’t you know my nature is already fucking crazy?”

“You know it yourself. That’s a relief.”

“…”

Wow. Fuck. He makes me speechless. That crazy guy.

“Still, keep being crazy… You can do that. Because I’ll take responsibility and go with you to the end. Don’t worry. I’ll watch how far you can go crazy…”

Ryuseong said such things nonchalantly. But you don’t know shit, so you say that. You don’t know what I’ve done. Because you don’t know how much of a sinner I am, you can say such nonsense. You don’t know me at all. You don’t even know who I am…

I was amazed by Ryuseong’s arrogance. In the first place, didn’t you know I was Cassice Demillang who destroyed the world? But responsibility? How will you take responsibility for me? How will you stay with me until the end?

If I go crazy and try to ruin the world, will you kill me to prevent an accident?

If that’s responsibility, yeah. I think that wouldn’t be bad.

But keep in mind. Before that, if you die, I won’t forgive you. Same if you run away. You can’t be ruined. Keep your word. Survive no matter what. Because you have to take responsibility for me. Understand? You…

‘Why do you keep making me want to believe…’

Laughter burst out. I laughed. As if the switch that outputs emotions was malfunctioning and pressing only strange buttons, I giggled and laughed, then collapsed into your arms and laughed for a while again. Like crazy. It was absurd. Wanting to believe such words was an impossible thing.

How firmly I have walked this path. The pride that no one but me could have survived in my place supported and sustained me. You dare to come to support me. You dare to try to save me. You dare to take responsibility for this squalid and miserable life…

Making me want to believe such bullshit… It’s not even funny.

So I said with a laugh,

“If you don’t take responsibility, will you kill me…?”

Hey… I’ll let you know clearly that you messed with the wrong person. I’ll make you remember what kind of guy I am… I think I should at least do that to be fair. So listen.

“Don’t take it as a joke. I mean it. I’ll make you regret saying you’ll take responsibility for me. Because I can’t live like before anymore… If you dare to abandon me and leave… That’s not taking responsibility, right?”

“That’s right.”

A sound that could be laughter or sobbing leaked through my teeth. Why does this guy keep believing in me like this?

Why do you love a bastard like me?

“Abandoning me is considering my life worthless. It’s your fault, your responsibility for not understanding at all the weight of what I’m risking to try to trust you.”

“That’s right.” 

“So you have to take responsibility for me. You have to love me no matter what I do. You, if you don’t run away now, you can never leave me. Even if someone tries to kill you, you have to survive. Even if you’re stabbed, you have to live. You can’t die. The world can’t take you from me either. I won’t hand you over to God either. The only one who can kill you is me. Got it…?”

“Yeah.”

Ryuseong answered while looking at me. Blue eyes. That vivid blue, shining that makes me want to drown and die… I just wanted to die by your hands, then I could have disappeared happily. I could have closed my eyes as if crumbling like dust shining white in the sunlight and floating away somewhere…

You said as if I didn’t deserve to die peacefully. With your gaze, voice, and body heat, you lifted me up, pushed my back, and forced me to walk the world, to live, to endure a little more… To try changing my way of life. Saying you’ll show me a life where I can be ordinarily happy, promising eternity…

To put it bluntly, what if I have a pathological obsession or commit violence, why are you promising eternity? You even threaten to kill me if it’s not forever.

If you were in your right mind, you shouldn’t have loved a crazy guy like this. But you keep…

“I think I have to pay that much of a price to have someone like you.”

“…When did I say I’ll give myself to you? Don’t make me laugh…”

As if I’m something… As if you’ve wanted to do this for a long time, you hugged me carefully. And rubbing your bloody lips softly, you patted my back. So now, for the first time, I felt like I wasn’t a miserable person. It felt like a dream that I was so ashamed I wanted to kill myself.

I felt precious. Because you treated me preciously. Just because of that, I thought… I was worth being looked after. I judged that there was no need to dissuade the me in my heart who wanted to bet on you and wanted to live. Because if you betray me, leave me, abandon me… I can just ‘kill you’ then. Thinking that way, I somehow felt calm. Is it because the jazz is caressing the air? It’s snowing outside, and next to us across from the fireplace, there’s one corpse that can no longer wriggle…

Somehow everything surrounding me felt romantic. Even the air. Even though it won’t be at all once I come to my senses.

I wanted to get drunk on this feeling right now. 

I languidly overlapped my body with yours and whispered softly.

“…I’ll kill you if you break it.”

“Do that then.”

“Will you really die? Is that a promise? If you abandon me even for 1 second, I’ll tear you limb from limb and to your father…”

“…Stop with the threats.”

“…”

Oops, did I cross the line? I took a moment to reflect on myself. But the one who crossed the line was a different bastard. 

Kugugugugung…!

The dungeon started to awaken. Moreover, with the force to swallow us whole!

***

Originally, the dungeon shouldn’t have awakened now. However, ‘someone’ had forcibly hit the brakes on the dungeon, and as a result.

“Sa-save me. Please save me. I don’t want to die. Mom! Dad! Please. I miss you… My love.”

Kwajik!

The miracle to be achieved on earth had even its seeds dried up. Sorrow overflowed and a river of misery flowed. Right at that moment, looking down at the land that had become hell…

“Is this defiance?”

“…”

“Answer me, son!”

The one who clenched his teeth as if standing against ‘someone’ shouted fiercely. He was a boy who looked too young to be called a son, but just by the aura he emitted, it seemed possible to prove the skill and years he had accumulated. 

“I didn’t interfere with the suspicious movements of Reverse out of respect for the family head. But I cannot overlook the act of hastening the dungeon break! What are you scheming!”

– His existence was none other than Cassice Demillang’s great-grandfather.

When he, who was once Demillang itself, shouted as if bursting with force, ‘someone’ calmly replied,

“I intend to reclaim the true sovereignty of Demillang. Father.”

It was the moment ‘someone’ who broke a Named-level dungeon called Cassice Demillang’s great-grandfather his father.