No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 88

After that, I had to rein in Ryuseong because he was trying to sweep away the monsters more enthusiastically than me. No matter what, it was too much for this guy to wipe out the black goat herd by himself.

No, if he has any common sense, shouldn’t he share chances to be active with me too?

“Look here. I should be the main character of these raids, you know?”

“Just say that what I killed was done by you too.”

But these words were annoying. Where do you get off…

“…Do I look like someone who needs that kind of sympathy from you?”

In a moment of anger, my voice rose. Ryuseong hesitated as if surprised, and I raised a hand to indicate I was okay and spoke softly.

“It’s something I can do. Something I have to do…”

“…I’m sorry. I went overboard.”

“Forget it. You just focus on doing the beating properly.”

Anyway, if you look at the hunting method, it’s obvious that what Ryuseong killed was done by him. Ryuseong probably said that not knowing how hunters identify, but I didn’t want to embarrass myself by pretending I did something I didn’t do.  

Cassice Demillang already attracts attention, but try mucking it up with my own hands on top of that.

‘Those guys who used to adore me like gossip will turn their backs in an instant.’

Thinking that made me tired.

Come to think of it, ah, I need to call my subordinates and straighten out the discipline properly.

‘I’ll have to borrow a phone and call when I go on a joint raid.’

Until then, hang in there a little, I write a letter in my mind to Hae Yuna and the others.

That’s because, in the original story, the Cassice bastards committed unimaginable evil deeds. Not even afraid of the school violence committee, they ridicule others as they please, and bully them by mentioning their father’s workplace just because they don’t like them…

The vigilante group that was running around trying to stop those evil deeds was none other than Hae Yuna and the others.

But the core of that force was ultimately Ryuseong.

Now that he was taken away, it was obvious that the remaining ones would suffer.

‘But I can’t miss the chance to freeload.’

Ryuseong, who was already strong as the protagonist himself from birth, becomes even more of a munchkin as he breaks through Volume 12. The problem is that the power balance is messed up, so the enemies also appear as much of munchkins, and because of that, Ryuseong suffered a lot. Ryuseong who went through all kinds of hardships and experienced everything, that was the sexy man in front of my eyes right now.

‘…Describing it like this suddenly made me want to drag him to bed so badly!’

Damn it. Don’t call me a pervert. I’m sorry, but this was my taste from the beginning. I was the kind of person who gets excited in the heart and lower body when I see the protagonist rolling around, making it troublesome. Is this wrong? Is it wrong?

“What kind of idle thoughts are you having by yourself?”

“Ah, it’s nothing much.”

When I stood Ryuseong still while fantasizing, a disgruntled remark soon returned. That bastard. When hyung is quietly immersed in contemplation, you should know he’s devising a terrifying strategy and stay put obediently. Where do you get off calling it idle thoughts? But objectively speaking, it was indeed idle thoughts, so I decided to be generous.

After black foxes and black goats, we hunted black pigs next.

Since black pigs were edible monsters, we grilled them slowly over a campfire where we set up camp and had a feast as is. The role of dismembering by body part was of course! taken by Ryuseong, and the role of trimming branches, making skewers, and grilling the meat was of course! also taken by Ryuseong. I only took on the role of checking if it was well cooked by nibbling. Saying it like this may make it sound like I’m being petty, but that’s not the case.

‘For someone with a weak stomach like me, you should be grateful just for being by your side when doing that!’

…Ah, that just now seemed to have crossed the line.

There’s a saying that you should do things in moderation, even being inhumane. I should reflect on that, I thought as I said to Ryuseong,

“Shall I cook next time?”

But this remark received such an odd response that I wondered if it was okay to react like that. Ryuseong raised his eyebrows in a defensive stance and pulled the fireplace towards him as if trying to hide it from me, then slowly spoke with tense lips.

“Do you know how to grill eggs?”

“What? Grill eggs?”

“…Nevermind.”

Wait. I think there’s some misunderstanding.

“Look here. I didn’t ask because I don’t know how to make fried eggs, but there are also grilled eggs separately, right? I hesitated because I was confused whether you were asking about how to make that or fried eggs.”

“…Hmm.”

Ryuseong made a nasal sound as if he didn’t know whether to believe this. I was momentarily angry, but since I already resolved to be nice, I decided to play along.

“Forget it. The ingredients are too precious to entrust to a noble like you.”

Cancel that. I’ll be inhumane.

“After seeing my past together with me last time, you still call me a noble?”

“…”

When I switched from doing something I didn’t usually do to what I usually did, I felt refreshingly cool inside. I decided to think of Ryuseong’s face, tangled with despair and guilt, wavering in confusion, as a bonus service.

Ah, of course I love Ryuseong. But loving him doesn’t mean I won’t torment him.

In my opinion, that absurdly handsome guy looked the cutest when he cried with sympathy.

He was made to be cried over in the first place. Thick eyebrows with sharp eyes and a strong jaw underneath. The more manly and masculine one looks, the more you want to make them cry, isn’t that how we feel? It would have been cuter if he was younger, but it’s a pity that he’s the same age.

But should I say that being the same age has its own charm of trying to climb up? If he was younger, he would probably just take it dumbly without being able to respond when I put him down with age, but there’s no such distance with someone the same age. You can’t borrow the authority of Confucianism either…

So it suited my taste of liking someone beneath me trying to climb up. Continuing the thought that Ryuseong is better off being the same age after all, at some point I realized that I was defending the reason I chose Ryuseong by advocating the same age theory.

‘Ah, shit. I really like Ryuseong.’

Thinking that way, perhaps Ryuseong’s face contorting as if about to cry and whispering sorry in a choked, wet voice was a little, just a little bit.

It also felt like it ached.

***

It was the first time. That Cassice Demillang’s past felt heartbreaking.

If I had been left alone in the past reproduction, I would have never known in my lifetime. Because even if I see such a past, I don’t particularly feel sympathy or pity. It was because Ryuseong was sad that I could realize that it was sad for me too.

But that’s not my story.

The truth is unknowable, but perhaps I was mistaken that my heart ached after seeing Ryuseong firmly believing and grieving over a past that wasn’t mine as if it were my own.

But I have no intention of gaining sympathy with my past. Because my past is not sad at all, not at all.

Even if I try to gain sympathy, I need to have something to say, right? I just lived well.

I lived happily flexing as the youngest son of a wealthy family and suddenly possessed this body, that’s all.

‘It would be ridiculous for me to pretend to be a victim.’

Don’t I at least need to have suffered something to even pretend like that?

So Ryuseong’s feelings are always treated worse than the filth thrown on the street.

‘…Damn it.’

Saying it like that makes it seem like I should be sorry. But I wasn’t sorry. It’s not like I wanted to possess this body, what do I have to be sorry for?

It’s ridiculous for me to apologize. If I say I’m actually not Cassice Demillang but Jeong Ian, a possessor.

‘Well. So what?’

Ryuseong, who touched my forehead, would tie me up tightly, and I would be dragged to a mental hospital. Even if I reveal “I know about your regression!” as if providing evidence, nothing will change.

No, maybe it will change a little.

‘You also regressed. Die.’

It ends with Ryuseong saying this and killing me. The end. It might not be killing but a bullying ending.

Anyhow, Cassice Demillang has earned the resentment and grudges of many people. If I said I would sell this body to them, there would be plenty of people who would gladly accept it. Then, well, I would become like Damyeon. Thinking that way, I suddenly felt sorry for Damyeon. Knowing how difficult a time he had because of Demillang, I still deliberately poked at it. 

‘Wow, isn’t that really terrible?’

I knew. That my personality is trash. That I deserve to roll in the mud. But suddenly facing this so starkly made me nauseous.

“…Ugh.”

When I vomited what I ate on my palm while eating black pig, Ryuseong approached in surprise. But even his reaching hand was rejected by my instincts. It wasn’t that I disliked someone approaching, but I specifically disliked Ryuseong.

With murderous intent rising, a lump of mana pushed him away.

Unexpectedly, he didn’t counterattack or defend and was slammed into a tree trunk as is. A pile of snow that had accumulated on the tree branches poured over Ryuseong, and now I couldn’t even see him.

But the pile of snow didn’t move in time. Did he suffocate by any chance? Come to think of it, judging by how the mana heart was rapidly emptying, it seemed I had injected more power than I imagined when I attacked.

‘Fuck, you munchkin who’s supposed to carry me!’

I couldn’t let Ryuseong die buried in the snow like this. Many thoughts flashed by as I prepared a magic to pull him out.

I was determined to snatch him first even if the World Tree tried to scoop him up with a well bucket. I, Jeong Ian, would be the one to deceive the scales of the underworld and this world, no matter what they say.

“Gold. Pure silver. Rusted bronze. Emit light.”

Perhaps it was because of this mindset that Demillang began to research immortality. Love. Because when a person loves someone, they yearn for even such absurd things…

“Drink mercury, if you stop breathing…”

I’ve become such a fool too. Thinking that, when I was about to cut along the lines of my palm with a knife.

“Don’t. I’m here.”

There was an embrace pulling me from behind, and I simultaneously felt rest and anger.

“…Why only now.”

This guy, did he dodge the falling pile of snow? Then he should have popped up no matter what.

“Where were you…”

Do you think I almost killed you? Do you have to make me think such a fucking thought? Me, feeling guilty, to the likes of you.

‘Ah.’

I’m doomed.

I’m crying right now.