NOVEL NEXT Chapter 3: Day 3
19 Jan, 17:50, I've returned home after the "special test", it wasn't that bad I guess? I mean it surely wasn't bad at all when I wasn't trying.
It feels as if when you really do care about scoring on a test, then no matter how good you perform, you are always unsatisfied. This is not just a speculation of mine but a universally accepted truth amongst the high intellect individuals who have great understanding of this species.
But who knew that if you turned the entire saying the other way around, "If you don't care about scoring on a test, no matter how bad you perform, you will always be satisfied", this indeed does make sense to me now.
I was praying that luck would do something to interfere with my fate again, but maybe he didn't. I've figured out that the more anxious I am about something, the better that certain something happens in reality. But if I become conscious of the being behind this wierd pattern of events then the pattern seems to break.
So the very fact that I thought luck would help me is enough to stop him from being able to help me at all. Then again there have been exceptions and I've never succeeded in understanding his ways; not even once.
Today, while I was sitting at my seat in the examination hall, I had this wierd thought come up to me.
"Stories are just stories, and the characters are not real people. For if they were real they would have not reacted that way". In simpler words, I was targeting those stories which have those "bad guys" but then as the story progresses we learn how they are "not so bad".
Or lets say a romance story with a love triangle, where in actual reality does a lover triangle have a wholesome or refreshing end.
But its just stories, which can have characters who react according to the will of the writer. The reason why writers are bound to not make a character "too realistic" is because their story will not sell.
A story with characters who act as real people might just sound as a great idea, atleast to me it does. But will we ever see such a masterpiece?
Anyways, when I was filling the OMR, I filled in my birth date in MM/DD/YY format. I believe that is the universally accepted format? I don't know, however here the DD/MM/YY format is used instead. I wrote it in the MM/DD format subconsciously. It seems I've been getting too much of of the influence of the foreign world. (not that I hate it)
By the way, I haven't mentioned this yet so I might as well now. I am 17 years old, underweight (48kg-- have been for past 2 years somehow), I have long hairs (they reach bellow neck and I am quite proud of them) and a gloomy face (as described by some of the people at my previous school).
22:44, I wasted the rest of the evening reading Omniscient Reader. I am at 230ish chapter now. Tomorrow I might end up catching up with the story.
My father came to call me again, but this time it was different. It was direct. I can stay in my room all I want but there are always "reasons" which can be used to get me out of my little confinement. Reasons are indirect ways of making me do something.
I am a genius so I do realise when is it that a reason is being exploited by them but that also means as long as they do not have any reasons left they cannot force me.
Lets imagine this, I stay in my room for the entire day but I do go up for meals twice. However, I don't talk to anyone. I have my meal and return to my room. This is an example of an indirect rebellion caused by my mind.
In this situation what are my parents supposed to do? They cannot ask me things like "What's wrong?" or "Why aren't you talking to us?" or "Did something happen?", because if they do they would be willing to breach the imaginary line of generational gap that exists, which in my case is also backed by my strong anti-social beliefs.
They themselves very well know that if this line was to be breached then they would have to bother themselves with understanding me. They do not want to, because they already do. All that is is they don't want to accept it. They don't want to accept what they think and that's why they will never cross that line.
As long as that line stays intact I've got no worries, after all the reasons exist because the line does. This unfair, irregular and indirect nature of human-kind is very common. To be direct it takes a lot of energy which certainly isn't infinite.
I don't feel like <€¥$¢@#£> today either but I cannot say for sure. It's only 23:00 so I do have another hour, I might just but I am not sure.
Mors.