Chapter 466: THERE IS NO REASON WHY
Adam was feeling complicated right now. As he looked down on Tsubasa, he felt like he could still see the vivid image of the young teenager he had once helped and protected overlap with the woman before him who had grown up and become an adult.
In a way, this was nothing but the most cliche situation possible, and now looking back, since Tsubasa had been a part of the supernatural world all along, she was never actually in danger in the first place.
"Why?"
He asked in a quiet and subdued voice, different from his usual serene tone. Though he had decided to use her for all she was worth, an uneasiness still existed in the corners of his mind.
Why? Just why was Tsubasa was so obsessed with him? Just what made someone like her obsessed with an ordinary boy who knew nothing of the supernatural back then? And why did she never forget him even after he had clearly dumped her?
Adam could not explain this. He had no answer for the onslaught of questions in his mind.
Physically speaking, Adam had always been relatively handsome from the get-go. Even before awakening, he had been quite charming even objectively speaking, but he always hid himself behind thick glasses and long bangs so everyone only thought of him as a geek.
But was that really enough for her to be so obsessed with him? He highly doubted that. If Adam had only been relatively handsome, then Tsubasa, on the other hand, had always been stunning, gorgeous, divine even. An otherworldly beauty that could not be explained with common sense alone. That was the kind of girl Tsubasa had been in her teens.
Then was it because he saved her from a few thugs back in those days?
Once again this was highly unlikely. Tsubasa should have already been a Silver or even a Gold rank Hunter back then from what he had gathered about her. How could a few normal humans even be a bother for her? They should have been worse than ants in her eyes, they were not even close to being microbes. At most, she might have been troubled about putting them down without killing them and that was just about it.
So… Why? Just… why?
Tsubasa smiled as he heard his subdued voice filled with confusion and took a step back while taking Adam's hand in hers,
"You always had an inquisitive mind. You could simply use me as you wanted without caring but you just have to ask why, don't you?"
"Tsubasa…"
Tsubasa giggled quietly as he heard his grim voice filled with tension.
She was obsessed with him, thoroughly obsessed. However, that did not mean she was stupid or was blinded by her innate obsession. She knew very well that even if Adam still had some feelings for her, those feelings were incomparable to her own.
Adam could live without her. Maybe he would miss her or think about her sometimes but that was about it.
However, there was no scenario, no timeline, no past, future, or present in existence where she could live without him.
This was why she knew… She knew that Adam was trying to manipulate her for his own use at this moment.
But she did not mind that for a single bit. In fact, she loved this fact more than anything else. She knew Adam very well, almost too well, perhaps… more than he even knew himself.
Adam was someone who could be both cold and warm at the same time. But at his core, he was a gentleman who would always repay the grace that was given to him by someone, no matter who, no matter what.
No matter how many people he killed. No matter how long he had bathed himself in the blood of his enemies. Even if madness overtook him and changed who he was. As long as Cecilia was alive and tread on this Earth, Adam's core values would never change. Not for a single fraction of a second.
Adam may think of using her and he was fully capable of going through with that. But the more he used her, the more she served him selflessly without a hint of hesitation in her actions, the more guilty he would feel toward her, thus feeling indebted to her and her selfless actions. That was just how he was and she didn't believe that it would change anytime soon.
Her place in his heart would grow exponentially. He would never forget her no matter how much he would try. He would always think of her.
Even if she died, she would leave a shadow in his heart and mind that would never vanish as long as he lived. A corner of his heart and mind would be forever hers.
Ahhh~
Such wonderful bliss. A bliss like no other. Such a marvelous scenario. She swooned just thinking about such a blissful and heavenly scene.
How could she complain? Why should she even complain? Only a fool like no other would complain in such a scenario.
He could use her as much as he wanted. Her body, mind, and soul were his to do as he wished. She would never rebel. Never refuse. Never disappoint. She would die before she would make Adam go through any hardships.
So then, the question remained— why was she so obsessed with Adam?
To such an elusive question, she only had one answer to give…
"I don't know."
She smiled gleefully as she uttered those absurd words.
She had asked herself this question many times over throughout her whole life.
Why? Just why? Just why couldn't she get the boy out of her mind?
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Over the years. Countless times she wondered in her mind and painfully asked herself such a pivotal question..
Why not just give up? Why continue on this treacherous and sorrowful road with no end in sight and merely misery and pain to offer?
But soon. She understood the reality behind it all.
Why it happened did not matter.
When it happened did not matter.lightsnovel
How it happened mattered even less than everything else.
All that mattered was that— it happened.
She loved Adam. She was so obsessed with him that she could become the definition of the word obsession. He was her path, he was her way, he was her Dao. He was her everything. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
"Sometimes. Some questions simply have no answer, Adam."
She was not interested in answering those meaningless questions.
"If madness and chaos had logical reasons behind their existence, then they would not be what they were."
"You have always been a fan of philosophy, haven't you? I should have known you would have said something absurd."
Adam had a bitter smile and Tsubasa merely chuckled gleefully in response…
"A scientist and a Philosopher. We make such an interesting couple."
Her relationship with Adam always had an interesting flavor. The two of them were very similar in a way. Two nerds following their own way. Their own path, unobstructed by the views of others.
When asked what was life, Adam would take a logical approach and explain the why and the how.
Meanwhile, she would take a completely different approach from him and add a new flavor that complimented yet contrasted Adam's.
Those points of view were not conflicting in the least in her opinion. But were rather complementary. They were the two sides of the same coin.
"So… What do you want me to do?"
She had her own ideas. But she did not want to interfere with Adam's plans.
"Speaking of that… Do you know what I am?"
"Yes. I know WHO you are. Not what. You are Adam Gospel. Why should I care about anything else?"
Tsubasa's steps were light and easy even as she walked in the forest. This place was like a sanctuary for her. The place where her love bloomed and then wilted over the years.
This was the place where she reached the height of happiness and fell to the bottom of despair at the same time. It had a symbolic significance to her that just could not be explained in mere words.
"Also you do not have to worry. Unlike my sister, I am not connected to any gods. Even though I am partially part of the Heavenly Court per se… You could say that I am more of an outer disciple than anything else, to be honest. However, I have some privilege thanks to my mother being a high-ranked Elder of the Court. So now, I will ask again, what is your plan, Adam?"
Adam sighed and he began to explain the situation as much as possible. He didn't know if she had observed everything already but it didn't really matter to him currently. He also needed to arrange the situation in his mind and explaining it to her would give him the perfect opportunity to go through with just that.
Thus began a long explanation between the duo.
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(AN:
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