MADMAN APOCALYPSE

More screeching rolled through the sewer tunnels, as we went through the rest of the items we’d acquired from the Scion.

‘Silver Anointed Mask’ x

A mask of pure silver, anointed by the blood of a Red Scion.

Equipping this mask immediately forces a Spontaneous Class Change to ‘Anointed’.

Weight: 6 Pandas

‘Queen’s Droplet’ x

A droplet of blood cast to earth by the Flayed Queen, with the hope of sparking a new following willing to sacrifice in her name and venerate her.

Consuming this Droplet immediately grants you ‘The Flayed Queen’ as a Benefactor, while also making you Blood-Bound to her.

Another word for ‘Blood-Bound’ is ‘Mindslave’.

Use with caution.

Or, better yet, toss into a pit at the first chance you get.

Weight: 0.23 Pandas

‘Scion’s Claw’ x

A long dexterous silver finger with a claw at the end, useable as a primitive club or, if you’re smart about it, a spell-casting wand.

Increases all blood-based magic damage by 50% and adds ‘Fiendblood Sickness’ to all spells cast using this weapon as a medium.

The power of the Red Scion can be invoked through this fragment of its body a limited number of times, enabling the wielder to perform the ‘Flayed Halo’ spell.

Charges: 5/5

Weight: 8.7 Pandas

“That’s gonna be a hard no on the mask and droplet,” Panda said sternly.

“Maybe it won’t work as advertised, since I’m glitched.”

“Gambit! Don’t mess with Absolutes, what did I tell you!? Especially not the Flayed Queen! As a matter of fact, you should throw this thing away! It’s bad!”

“The Anointed Class might be good,” Bee muttered.

“Perhaps it turns you into a mosquito,” I replied.

She frowned. “Nevermind. I’m no longer interested, actually.”

“You should take the Claw though,” I told her.

Bee picked up the silver finger. It was longer than I remembered, but it also had another segment since it included the metacarpal bone.

“Is this an index finger or a middle finger?” she wondered, moving the silver ‘wand’ around.

“It’s the ring finger,” I said.

Panda gave me a worried look. “How do you know that?”

“None of your business,” I replied. “So what if my favorite toy as a kid was the skeleton in the nurse’s office named Smiley!?”

Bee and Panda shared a look.

“Panda, since you’re apparently an expert,” she then started. “What does Fiendblood do?”

“When it kills a humanoid, it turns them into a Fiend. Basically a primitive vampire kind of thing that only hungers for human flesh and blood.”

She grinned. “It’s not just you who can summon monsters now, Gambit!”

“Mine are cooler,” I replied.

“Do I need to remind you that it is other people you are turning into monsters?” Panda scolded us.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud,” I told him.

The plushie sighed. “You know what? Screw it! Clearly you two don’t need a moral guide. I’ll just shut my trap and let you two get your villain arc underway! By all means, put on the mask and consume the Flayed Queen’s blood! It’ll be fun.”

“I think you broke him,” Bee told me, not even bothering to lower her voice.

“Meow.”

“What do I have to apologize for??” I asked the familiar.

Panda had walked away at this point, doing his best to pretend like he didn’t care what we were up to.

I watched him for a moment, then looked at Bee. “This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Give him a few minutes and he’ll go right back to lecturing us.”

“He seems pretty serious,” she commented, sounding worried.

“He’ll be fine.”

I turned my attention to the last item. A little obsidian floppy disk with the label ‘unFake’ on it.

‘unFake Plugin’ x

—PLUGIN—

Harvested from a Red Scion.

Sometimes, for everyone’s sake, it’s better just to fake it.

Fake that it feels good.

Fake that love is real.

Fake that you’re happy.

Fake that you are exactly who you say you are.

“A lie travels round the world, while truth is putting her boots on.”

Plugin Ability: fauxPas

Plugin Passive: Day.opposite( )

Weight: 6.1115 Pandas

‘fauxPas’ x

Plugin Ability

‘Johnny, is that you my boy!?’

*The boy’s face opens up to reveal that it is, in fact, not Johnny*

Target a corpse and claim its identity, becoming its mirror image. The disguise only lasts so long as you never utter a single lie.

Cooldown: 3 hours

‘Day.opposite( )’ x

Plugin Passive

Isn’t it true what you didn’t not say?

Everything you say that’s true is perceived as a lie, and every falsehood is considered truth.

“Ugh, this sounds suspiciously like the magic of a Skinstealer… Although I suppose it might be good if I ever need to infiltrate one of the Agencies,” I said. “But, then again, it’s faster to just punch my way through them.”

I put the mask and droplet into my inventory with the new plugin, since it didn’t seem like Bee was gonna keep either of the two items. Besides, if I ended up selling them, I’d just split the coins with her. As I was looking at my inventory, I realized I had an item I could now check safely.

The plugin appeared in my hand, looking identical to the three already poking out of my chest, but the label was more ominous than all three combined.

Panda immediately appeared right next to me, putting his squishy hands on my left forearm.

“What are you—!?” he started to say, but then forced himself to stop mid-scold.

If he’d had teeth, I was sure he would’ve been gritting them right about now. The amount of self-control it took him to not intervene was quite impressive.

I pulled out the ‘unHero’ plugin and slotted in the one in my hand.

‘unAlive Plugin’ x

—PLUGIN—

We tailormade this for you, dear Gambit.

Don’t be scared. Insert this Plugin into the slot where it belongs.

Come on, just do it.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Everyone here at the office is chanting your name and cheering you on.

So, what are you waiting for?

Insert the Plugin, Gambit.

Weight: 1.2519 Pandas

“Why are you doing that?” Bee asked.

“I’ve got a second life, remember? I might as well use it. Plus, I’m curious.”

“That’s so goddamn—!!” Panda started, almost breaking his promise to not lecture us.

“Don’t pop a blood vessel in your forehead, buddy,” I told him.

PLUGIN UNINSTALLED.

‘unHero’ protocol no longer in effect!

PLUGIN INSTALLED.

‘unAlive’ protocol now in effect!

“Hm. Nothing’s happening,” I muttered.

Then everything went black.

GAME OVER!

You have died.

Please wait for scheduled resurrection by

SKILL TRIGGER!

Personal Rule(Cheat Death Once) resurrected you!

Blurry and hazy light returned to my eyes, while Panda was yelling up a storm, and Bee shook me furiously.

“—solute numb-skulled neanderthal behavior!!” he finished.

Then he saw I was back.

“Smoke came out of your goddamn eyes, you fucking moron!”

“So I died?”

“Yes!! Your brain literally fried inside your head! Why would you do something so idiotic!?”

“It smelled pretty bad,” Bee added.

“I just figured they couldn’t actually give me an item that kills me.”

“There’s probably a rule that says it’s okay if it’s very obvious what the item does,” Bee theorized.

“It was a lot less fun than I thought it would be.”

“You wasted your Cheat Death on curiosity!?”

“Obviously.”

Panda looked like he was about to blow up from the internal stress I was apparently causing him.

“Calm down, it’s fine.”

“Calm down!?” he yelled, not listening to me and only getting angrier.

“It was pretty stupid,” Bee admitted.

I pulled out one of the two Fusion Gums we had split, holding it aloft like a trophy.

“Or was it!?” I asked theoretically.

“Yes,” Panda grumbled.

I popped the gum in my mouth and began to chew. A full course meal of vanilla-banana ice-cream flowed across my tongue.

ACTIVATING SKILL FUSION!

Choose two Abilities or Passives to combine:

“Combine ‘Personal Rule’ with… hmm… let’s try ‘Outcast’!”

‘Outcast’ x

Passive

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!”

Neutral or Morally Good Players will instinctively be mistrustful of you, while Outcasts and Morally Evil Players will be inclined to trust you.

Panda sighed.

COMBINING SKILLS!

One moment…

…

…

…

New fusion skill created!

Congratulations!

You have unlocked the new Ability:

‘Rules of Anarchy’