Keyboard Immortal

“I’ve already been stalled by Yuan Wendong and the others for too long. It’s going to be afternoon classes soon, so I’ll be heading back first,” said Chu Huanzhao.

There was hardly anyone left in the canteen. She casually wiped her mouth and stood.

“What class are you in?” Zu An asked out of curiosity.

“I...” Oddly enough, Chu Huanzhao began to fidget uncomfortably. Her voice also became a little weaker. “I’m from the Black class.

“Laugh if you want to. My older sister was a prodigy in the Sky class, reputed to be the strongest amongst the students, whereas I’m nowhere near in comparison to her. I have been mocked many times in the past, so I can’t be bothered with it anymore.”

Unexpectedly, Zu An patted her shoulders gently. “You must have had a hard time, huh? You don’t need to worry anymore, I’m here to lower the bar. I’m from the Yellow class, remember?”

He still remembered how everyone seemed to harbor ill will toward him when he’d first arrived in this world. This lass was the only one who stood up for him when everyone in the ancestral hall was trying to get him punished. Seeing how downcast this matter had left her, he couldn’t bring himself to make a jab at her.

Chu Huanzhao was taken aback by his remark. She stared at him deeply for a moment before muttering softly, “Thank you.”

Zu An continued, “Everyone has their own strengths. Perhaps your strength just doesn’t lie in cultivation.”

Chu Huanzhao felt her eyes misting over as she looked at him, touched by his words. “What do you think my strength is, then?”

Zu An was left speechless by her question.

I was just comforting you. I didn’t expect you to take it for real!

Nevertheless, staring into Chu Huanzhao’s expectant eyes, there was no way he could bring himself to say that she had no strengths at all, right?

However, the two of them had only known each other for a short period of time, and no matter how much Zu An racked his brain, he couldn’t seem to say what her strengths were. It took him a long while before he finally squeezed out an answer. “Your legs... are long?”

As ridiculous as it might sound, it was actually an honest thought. Even now, he could still remember that pair of slim and perfectly proportionate legs dangling loosely while she was seated on a table that night. Those were a sweet pair of legs that could easily walk into the heart of any man.

It seemed the saying was true: those who were smaller in the chest were more than compensated for by their legs.

Of course, that was possibly the worst answer he could have given Chu Huanzhao. “Pui, you pervert!” she spat, then fled from him with her face bright red.

Zu An stared at her departing back, his face all scrunched up.

What’s the point of just scolding me like this? Where are your Rage points? Why didn’t I receive anything at all? This is unfair!

Wei Suo walked over and fawned all over him. “Boss, I find myself more and more in awe with you. I reckon you are the only one in the academy who can make the tomboyish Second Miss Chu show such embarrassment.”

“Of course. Who do you think you are talking to?” Zu An replied cockily. “Ah right, what classes do we have in the afternoon?”

He had been thinking of escaping from the academy once he was done with lunch, but he’d unexpectedly received a huge wave of Rage points in his confrontation earlier. That had changed his mind about the academy, and he started to feel that things were not that bad here after all.

“I think it’s an etiquette and music class,” replied Wei Suo.

“Etiquette and music?” Zu An’s eyes lit up.

He’d noticed a common pattern from elementary school up to university—the Music Department always had the most beautiful female teacher. Be it their refined disposition or their graceful profile, it was hard to find even a single flaw in them. Now that he was in a world filled with ki, the music teachers had to be even more beautiful.

Zu An had never looked forward to a class that much before. He bounded back to the classroom, and ran into the fatty Man Yu chatting loudly with his sidekicks. Their group quickly fell silent as they noticed Zu An’s presence.

They had no choice but to lie low for the time being. They were no match for Zu An, and their backing wasn’t as strong as his either. In fact, Ye Chenliang was probably still being savaged by Lu De in the schoolyard at this very moment.

That Baldhead was really a sadist. Anyone who got caught by him would experience suffering that they would never forget.

Of course, Zu An couldn’t give a damn about them. His eyes were glued to the doorway of the classroom as he waited excitedly for the beautiful teacher who would soon walk in.

Finally, in walked a trembling old man. Zu An saw all of his dreams shatter right before his eyes.

Where are the promised refined disposition and graceful profile? At the very least, I should get a female teacher, right? Why in the world did I get an old man?!

The old man cleared his throat noisily. “Open your textbooks, we shall be starting a new chapter today—Rules of Propriety.[1]

“Values and morals are meaningless if not based on propriety. Reforming the society and improving the culture will be for naught if propriety is absent. Distinguishing between right and wrong will be impossible if propriety is not put in place.

“A liege and his subject, a father and his son; how could these ties be established if propriety is not upheld? A teacher and a student; how can a conducive relationship for the inheritance of knowledge be constructed if there’s a lack of propriety to dictate the relationship? A military commander and his soldiers; how should authority be maintained if propriety is neglected? Rites to worship the deities and the deceased; how could sincerity be conveyed if rituals were to lack propriety?

“Thus, men should learn respect, humility, and concession to uphold propriety. Parrots are capable of speech, yet mere birds they are. Apes are capable of speech, yet mere beasts they are. If humans lack propriety, even if they are capable of speech, what is there to differentiate them from mere beasts? It’s the lack of propriety that fathers and sons share a woman.

“Thus we have sages who determine propriety and educate the people. It’s the existence of propriety that humans know to set themselves apart from beasts...”

...

Save me!

Zu An was drowning in utter despair. Not only was the promised beautiful music teacher non-existent, but he even had to go through the torture of listening to the old man’s chanting. This was even worse than being in prison!

He stared out the window and wondered if he could escape from this classroom if he were to use Grandgale’s ability. However, considering how Wei Suo had mentioned that the teachers in the academy were all experts, he felt that the likelihood of that was very low.

Either way, that vile Baldhead, Lu De, was probably still in the schoolyard. If he were to escape right now, he could just fall right into that evil man’s grasp.

Finally, it was simply not worth revealing his trump card in public over such a minor reason.

With all that reasoning out of the way, Zu An could only dispel any thought of escape.

That being said, there was no way he was going to pay attention to these lessons. It was not as if these sermons would help him in life anyway even if he understood them.

So, he decided to secretly do his own personal work in class, just like how he secretly played mobile games under his desk in his previous life. He summoned the Keyboard, then turned warily toward Wei Suo and asked, “Do you see anything here?”

Wei Suo was bewildered by Zu An’s abrupt question, and he replied without thinking, “I see your hairsome face.”

“It’s handsome, not hairsome.”

Black streaks covered Zu An’s face. I know that he has buck teeth, but he really needs to work on his pronunciation.

At least that confirmed no one could see his keyboard. He sighed internally in relief.

Let me see how many Rage points I have. Hm?

Zu An rubbed his eyes in disbelief. He actually had 57,454 Rage points in total! That was more than the grand total of all he had earned prior to today!

He quickly recalled what he had done for the day. He had earned quite a bit earlier in the morning at the academy gates, as well as bits and pieces over the course of the morning. Of course, the bulk of it had come from the main event earlier in the afternoon with Ye Chenliang, Yuan Wendong and the others. The crowd had simply been too kind, enthusiastically offering him their Rage points over and over.

This newly-gathered data compelled Zu An to rethink his strategy. No matter how he tried to squeeze an individual dry, the amount of Rage points he could earn from just a single person was just too limited. It would be much wiser for him to spread his net out and earn it from a crowd instead. That would be far more efficient.

Yeap, it looks like I should focus more on AOE skills in the future. The more butthurt people there are, the better it would be for me.

After deciding on his new plan, Zu An moved on to look at the Keyboard’s lottery. It quickly dawned on him that he wasn’t in a good position to do his usual hand-washing ritual.

Forget it, I’ll just compromise a little.

Zu An wanted to forsake the hassle and simply press the ‘Enter’ key to get the drawing over and done with. However, his trembling hands simply wouldn’t heed his orders.

No! I can’t skip any step at all. Even if I don’t wash my face, the least I should do is to wash my hands so as to cleanse my luck!

So, he spat in his hands and rubbed them together vigorously before finally hitting the enter button at ease.

The light marker swiftly flashed across the keyboard before finally stopping on the ‘4’ key. Ki Fruit!

Zu An was delighted.

It looks like washing my hands is really important. I actually got it in a single shot!

Meanwhile, his deskmate, Wei Suo, watched as he spat saliva onto his own hands and froze. He shifted his chair discreetly away from Zu An, wanting to put some distance between them.

I know that my boss is a master moocher, but I didn’t think that he would have such horrid hygiene practices. I wonder if my Chu Chuyan and the others know that he does such stuff.

Zu An was oblivious to how bizarre his current actions seemed in the eyes of others. He was much too focused on the lottery.

Thanks for playing!

Thanks for playing!

Thanks for playing!

Shit, yet another wave of ‘Thanks for playing’!

...

Oh, another Ki Fruit.

...

Thanks for playing... Ki Fruit... Thanks for playing... Ki Fruit...

Zu An drew the lottery over a hundred times, and the light marker finally landed on a key that was different from before—the ‘1’ key. It was Faith in Brother Spring!

Zu An heaved a sigh of relief. This was what he had really wanted to draw. The last time he got injured, he used Divine Physician Ji’s medicine, but the rate of recovery had been less than satisfactory. Were he to find himself in a dire situation, there was no way his enemy would wait for him to heal up before continuing their assault!

With Faith in Brother Spring around, he would at least have another trump card in hand. The ability to instantly restore himself back to full health was almost the same as having an additional life.

Zu An continued drawing the lottery, hoping to get something different. After all, the products from the Keyboard tended to be high quality. It seemed, however, that fate had abandoned him. The only results he got were ‘Thanks for playing’ and more Ki Fruits.

Damn it, I can’t believe that my luck is this bad!

He spat another mouthful of saliva on his own hands and rubbed them thoroughly between his fingers and even into his fingernails before resuming the drawing once more. With over 57,400 Rage points this time around, he could draw a total of 574 times.

Wei Suo, who was looking on, swallowed hard. He wondered if his boss was out of his mind.

No, I shouldn’t harbor such thoughts. Boss is the man known as the master moocher! How can I dare evaluate him using common logic? Could this be his secret to how he managed to court so many beautiful women? I must learn from his example!

So, Wei Suo also spat in his hand and began rubbing his saliva all over his own hands. He couldn’t resist the urge to raise his hands up and smell them, and the stench was so powerful that it nearly knocked him out.

All this was lost on Zu An, who was engrossed in his lottery drawing. Finally, he grinned in excitement. The light marker had landed on a different key this time around—the ‘9’ key!

Fortune Pill!

Artifact Effect: Maximizes your luck to the greatest degree for two hours. Any event or trial that is luck dependent will end in an outcome favorable to you.

Zu An’s eyes lit up. This was exactly the item he needed right now! With this, wouldn’t he be able to draw something useful from the lottery every single time?

It was as if the Keyboard had read his mind. A small disclaimer suddenly appeared at the bottom of the screen. Note: The Fortune Pill doesn’t work on the keyboard’s lottery system.

Shit!

Zu An nearly smashed the Keyboard on the spot. The Keyboard had undeniably brought him many conveniences, but the sheer frustration he went through while using it was no less real.

If he couldn’t use the Fortune Pill for the lottery, what use did he have for it? He was in the real world right now! It was not as if he was playing a game where luck could improve the equipment drop rates when he killed mobs.

Instead of a luck booster, I would rather get something that improved my looks.

Hmm... then again, my looks don’t need any improvement.

1. Propriety, in Chinese, is a much more expansive word, encompassing the ideas of manners, etiquette, and values.