Keyboard Immortal

Black streaks clouded Yuan Wendong’s face. “Shut up! My clan produces the finest arms, so why would I shirk compensation for those lousy swords of yours?”

It took him a great deal of effort to finally placate the riled-up crowd. By the time he was free to turn his attention to Zu An once more, he had already fled the scene.

You have successfully trolled Yuan Wendong for 123 Rage points!

Chu Huanzhao had dragged Zu An over to the cafeteria. It amused Zu An that the design of the cafeteria was pretty similar to those he had seen in the universities of his previous life. The only difference was that there was no need for them to get the food by themselves. Instead, waiting staff were around to take their orders.

Chu Huanzhao tossed him the menu. “I’ll treat you, so feel free to order anything you want!” she declared with the generous air of a wealthy woman.

Wei Suo, who had been banished to another table by her, gave Zu An a thumbs-up. This new big brother of his was the perfect role model for all moochers in the world.

Yup, mooching is indeed the way to make it in the world. I should learn from big brother and find a sugar momma to live off. Oof, but Principal Jiang is way out of my league. I should hone my skills on someone easier first...

Zu An didn’t even bother to look at the menu. He turned to the waiter who was serving them. “Give me one of everything, then.”

He was quite curious about the food in this world, and most of what was on the menu seemed interesting. To be honest, he didn’t recognize most of those dishes, so it would be good if he could give everything a try.

You have successfully trolled Chu Huanzhao for 99 Rage points!

“Don’t listen to him,” Chu Huanzhao hastily instructed the waiter. She shot Zu An a sharp glare. “Are you a pig? Are you sure you can finish all of it?”

“Of course not,” Zu An shrugged leisurely. “However, I can just have a mouthful of each of them. As you know, I came from a poor family and haven’t tried many things before. Since someone is treating me today, I’ll have to try everything I can.”

Chu Huanzhao slowly picked her jaw back off the floor.

“This won’t do. I’ll only allow you to order ten... No, just eight dishes!”

“Why?” Zu An asked.

To be honest, he was rather impressed. He thought that the four dishes would have been more than sufficient for the two of them, especially considering the small stature of his companion. Who would have thought that she would ask for eight dishes?

It looks like nobles really live extravagant lives. I must learn from their example... Ahem, I mean admonish them thoroughly!

Chu Huanzhao’s face reddened. “I... I don’t have that much money.”

Zu An shook his head in disappointment. “Then you shouldn’t have told me to order whatever I liked. Why boast when you don’t have the means to back up your words?”

Chu Huanzhao could hold her temper no longer. She slammed her palm on the table and shot to her feet, roaring, “Damn you Zu An, are you going to eat or not?!”

You have successfully trolled Chu Huanzhao for 666 Rage points!

“I’m eating. Why would I not eat?” Zu An glanced at the dumbfounded waiter off to the side. “Bring me eight of the most expensive dishes you have here then.”

“No problem~” The waiter hesitated, glancing at Chu Huanzhao to seek her approval. She did not object, and he quickly ran off to process their order.

This exchange had not gone unnoticed by a group of guys seated not too far away. They leaned in to whisper to each other.

“Did you see that? Mooching is not as glorious as we think. In the end, he needs to tread carefully around those he’s mooching off of. If things go badly, he would be reduced to cannon fodder for them to blow off steam!”

“That’s not what I see. To me, it looks like it’s his sugar momma who is treading carefully around him.”

“Tsk! Who cares who is treading carefully around who? If I could land such a beautiful sugar momma, I wouldn’t mind even if I need to be at her beck and call!”

“Me too!”

“Me too!”

“The lot of you are too unambitious... though I’d be willing too.”

“Tsk~”

...

Chu Huanzhao glowered at Zu An as she continued her interrogation. “Zu An, you better come clean. How did you get yourself tangled up with those women?”

Zu An knocked on the table and complained, “Hey hey hey, watch how you address me! Call me brother-in-law!”

Chu Huanzhao nearly choked at those words. Her chubby cheeks puffed up once more as she grumbled in displeasure, “Are you going to continue harping on that? I did lose to you in a bet, but I’ve already called you brother-in-law for so long now. I even stepped forward for you today. No matter how you look at it, I’ve done more than enough to repay the favor!”

Zu An clicked his tongue. “When you said that you would cover me, I thought that you were a big shot in the academy. Yet, it turns out that you can’t even deal with a mere scrub. In the end, I still had to make a move myself!”

Chu Huanzhao was flabbergasted. “You call that making a move yourself? You simply got a bunch of women to stand up for you!”

“Does that make any difference?” Zu An shrugged nonchalantly. “I relied on my own abilities to secure their help.”

All those twists and turns in logic made Chu Huanzhao’s head spin. In the end, she waved her hands impatiently and said forcefully, “Enough! Hurry up and confess! How did you hook up with them?”

Zu An frowned. “What do you mean by hook up? You’re a maiden! Can you not use such awful sounding words?”

Chu Huanzhao’s face scrunched up in disdain. “I didn’t know that you had such a delicate side. Disgusting.”

Zu An: “...”

“I’m trying to teach you something here. A girl shouldn’t get mad at everything like a fuse always on the verge of blowing up. If you could just mellow down a little and use some cutesy phrases, you wouldn’t be ranked ninth out of the Ten Great Beauties.”

“Hah, do I need you to teach me that? I can do it if I want to,” Chu Huanzhao sniffed dismissively.

Zu An’s interest was piqued. “Oh? Why don’t you give it a try then?”

“Stop messing around!“ Chu Huanzhao rolled her eyes before pouring herself a cup of tea. She casually propped her leg up on the bench beside her. Her leg was beautiful, but her posture, not so much. Nevertheless, with her neat, shoulder-length hair, she gave off a uniquely feral charm.

Seeing how naturally she’d assumed this sitting posture, Zu An scrapped all ideas of getting her to be more demure.

“After prattling on about so much, you still haven’t told me how you met them!” Chu Huanzhao relentlessly pursued her line of questioning.

Zu An knew that she would continue to annoy him if he didn’t answer her question, so he tried to be casual with his answer. “I met Ji Xiaoxi earlier when I was looking around the city. As for Pei Mianman, isn’t she your older sister’s close friend? It’s only natural for her to step in when the husband of her close friend is being taken advantage of, no?”

Chu Huanzhao narrowed her eyes skeptically. “Is that all?”

“What else do you think?”

By then, the waiter had started to bring out their dishes. The fragrance wafting out from the freshly-cooked dishes made Zu An’s mouth water. Without waiting, he dug in.

Chu Huanzhao, on the other hand, was still caught up in the matter. “That’s not right. No matter how I look at it, your relationship with them isn’t that simple. Besides, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Everyone is saying the same thing too!”

Zu An wolfed down the food, answering her between mouthfuls. “Those people also see you as a part of my harem. What do you think?”

“Hah! Just thinking about that drives me mad!” Chu Huanzhao gritted her teeth furiously. “It’s all your fault!”

Zu An burst into laughter. “Aren’t I your brother-in-law? It’s only natural to keep the good stuff within the family.”

“What did you say?” Chu Huanzhao’s eyebrows shot up.

Zu An put up his hands sheepishly. “I mean that we’re one family, so we should help one another when in need.”

Chu Huanzhao was still doubtful. “Are you sure there’s nothing more between you and those women?”

“Of course not.” Zu An wouldn’t have admitted it even if he’d had a relationship with them, though in this case, that was the truth.

Chu Huanzhao heaved a deep sigh of relief. She finally turned her attention to the table, but half of the dishes served had already been swept clean. She grabbed her chopsticks in agitation and exclaimed, “Are you a pig? Leave some for me!”

Zu An was a little surprised. “As the young miss of a ducal clan, surely you have already had your fill of such dishes?”

Chu Huanzhao stuffed her cheeks full as she answered, “My mother is very strict with me. She barely gives me any pocket money, and these dishes are expensive. I can’t bear to spend my money on them on normal occasions.”

“Aww, how pitiful. Come, you should have more.” Zu An picked up a piece of meat and placed it into her bowl out of sympathy.

“Thanks, brother-in-law.” She frowned right after saying those words. Wait, I’m the one spending money here. Why am I thanking you for that?

“Stop putting food in my bowl. You’re getting your saliva on my food!”

“It doesn’t look like it’s curbing your appetite at all though, is it?”

...

After the two of them had their fill, Zu An suddenly asked, “Huanzhao, what do you think of me?”

Chu Huanzhao was surprised for a moment, then replied without much thought. “Even though you’re a little hateful, a little perverted, and a little weak, you’re still barely passable as a human.”

Zu An rolled his eyes. Are you praising me or criticizing me here? “Then, who do you think in the manor doesn’t want me to become your brother-in-law?”

Chu Huanzhao was a straight shooter, so it would be good to gather some intelligence from her that could aid in his search for whoever was trying to kill him.

Chu Huanzhao burst into laughter, amused by the question. “There are way too many people to name!”

Zu An held back his urge to pummel her. “I’m referring to those who hate me to the point that they are out for my life.”

Chu Huanzhao fell silent, deep in thought. Just as Zu An thought that she had narrowed it down to a certain someone, she suddenly said, “There are still a lot of people...”

Zu An was dumbfounded. It was unlikely this silly lass was lying, which only proved just how hateful the original owner of this body had been. To think that there would be so many people in the Chu clan who wanted him dead!

“What about your older sister then?” Zu An stared into Chu Huanzhao’s eyes without blinking, trying to peer through her eyes and see into her thoughts.

Even though it was only a slim possibility, there was no denying that Snow was her personal maidservant. Without her permission, it was unlikely that Snow would dare to act so audaciously.

“My older sister?” Chu Huanzhao was confused. “Why would she want to take your life?”

“Didn’t you say that there are a lot of people in the manor who are after my life? Wouldn’t your older sister be one of them too?” Zu An asked.

Chu Huanzhao shook her head vehemently. “You’re the groom personally chosen by my older sister. My parents had selected a long list of outstanding young men for my older sister to choose from, but she didn’t even spare them a single glance. In the end, she chose a wastr... Ahem, ahem, I mean a man like you. Many people tried to stop her, counseling that she was ruining her own future. Yet, she said that she would marry no one other than you. Even to this day, I’ve no idea what she sees in you.”

As she said this, she looked Zu An up and down, her face a mask of sheer contempt.

“Hey hey hey, you’re hurting my feelings over here!”

Zu An fell into deep thought. He had heard about this from Cheng Shouping previously, and Chu Huanzhao had just confirmed his story. From the look of it, the only one in the manor who could be ruled out as the culprit was Chu Chuyan.

His eyes fell upon the lass who was wolfing down her food before him, and he swallowed his words back down. No, that’s not right. The one who is the most unlikely to kill me in the manor is this lass, followed by Chu Chuyan.

“What is your older sister dealing with nowadays?” Zu An asked.

“No idea,” Chu Huanzhao replied without looking up. She was too busy attacking the delicacies before her.

Zu An frowned in annoyance. “You’re her younger sister, why wouldn’t you know?”

Chu Huanzhao’s rebuttal was swift. “And you’re her husband, so why don’t you know a thing at all?! I’m not engaged in whatever is happening back at home.”

“Eat, eat, eat, all you know how to do is eat. Despite being a glutton, it doesn’t look like your chest is growing one bit.” Zu An stared at her flat chest as he wondered. They are born from the same mother, so why is there such a huge difference between the two of them?

“Hold it right there. What do you mean?” Chu Huanzhao had only just finished eating. When she noticed his gaze, she immediately flew into a state of fury.

You have successfully trolled Chu Huanzhao for 666 Rage points!

Zu An was amused. He hadn’t expected her to be so sensitive about her own chest. That being said, he didn’t want to anger her right now, so he said, “I’m saying that you should pay some heed to your own appearance. At least wipe your mouth after eating.”

As he spoke, he reached out to pick off a grain of rice sticking to the corner of her mouth.

Chu Huanzhao’s face flushed a fiery red. “Hey, haven’t you heard that it’s inappropriate for a man and a woman who aren’t in a relationship to have such intimate contact? You can’t possibly be carrying that sort of licentious thoughts toward me, are you?”

Zu An clicked his tongue in annoyance. “It’s only at a time like this that you think of yourself as a woman, huh?”

Chu Huanzhao was stunned for a moment, then nodded slowly, clearly confused. “That’s true too.” From her tone, it seemed like she had given up on thinking altogether.