Jörmungandr

His Root Shinobi screamed around him as the gust of wind from the infamous gunbai shredded them to mere bits of flesh and smears of blood. Danzo, the self proclaimed Shinobi no Yami, stepped back in fear. 

The man before him swung the gunbai again and took out another several of his Root ANBU. Gritting his teeth he took out a kunai with his good arm and prepared to fight. Cursing his luck, and the man who was seemingly Madara reborn he blurred forward intent on stabbing the man in the back. 

Unfortunately Akimitsu sensed him and spun around with his Sharingan spinning. Danzo blocked a strike from the gunbai and cried out in pain as the force behind the attack shatter his good arm. 

"Danzo-sama!" Shouted out a Root agent. 

The Root agent jumped in front of Danzo just as a tanto wreathed in lightning was launched at him. The agent took the strike for Danzo and coughed up blood as the blade burst through his back. Danzo shoved the dying Root Shinobi away and ran, cursing everything again he huffed and wheezed as he made his way to an escape corridor only to collide with an invisible barrier. 

"Didn't think it would be that easy now did you?" A voice mocked him. 

Turning around slowly as he got back to his feet Danzo growled in anger as Akimitsu waded through the piles of dead bodies. 

"You will not get away with this." Danzo sneered at the man. 

"Nah, I think I will. This is the world of Shinobi. Shady shit happens all the time. You should know that, you proudly claim to be the roots of the great tree after all." 

Danzo frowned, "Hiruzen will lear-

"Yeah I don't think he will," his frown deepened at Akimitsu's words, "he grows tired of your ploys and blatant attempts at undermining his power." 

"I am Shinobi no Yami! You cannot kill me." 

The Uchiha sighed, "Do you hear yourself? You know… you could have continued to live and plot whatever you wanted. All you had to do was leave me alone, but nope… you just had to try and kidnap my daughter and my sister." 

"What?" 

"Yeah, that's besides the point… good bye Danzo." 

[Scene Break]

Danzo went to shout something at me, unfortunately for him I absolutely hated it when bad guys monologues or spewed some 'vengeance upon thee' nonsense. An example of this was the apparent curse that was cast on my previous incarnation. 

I had sort of overcome said curse through sheer spite alone. Sure it made me a bit temperamental and occasionally an edgelord, but it didn't affect me negatively to the point where I was frothing at the mouth and screaming 'off with their heads'. 

As the Root HQ burned around me I vanished the stereos I had created and erased all evidence of the place with a few fire jutsus and some well placed vanishing charms. 

I was posing as a ninja, I might as well use some of their murder magic. I scanned the room a bit and rifled through some files. I didn't really find anything crazy, just notes on Orochimaru's wacky experiments. Turns out the snake ninja wasn't really that bad. I had a feeling that Danzo had a hand in making Orochimaru turn into Pedomaru. 

Creating a few shadow clones I had them go through the entire place. They took everything valuable and placed it in a pile for me to stuff into my hammer space. Everything else burned and vanished. 

"I think I spent enough time here… time to go." I said out loud. 

Flashing back to the inn I greeted Ophis and Gabriel with a smile. The two looked at me strangely before I remembered that I had changed outfits. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the armor…" 

"Where did you get it?" 

"I made it, I dealt with the mummy problem. Now we just have to wait for the Hokage to test me." 

"…you smell like blood." Ophis murmured.

"Well yeah, I just slaughtered a bunch of brainwashed assassins." 

"Hmm." 

"Anything you want to add Gabriel?" 

"Nope, there's a lot of darkness in this place daddy, it could do with some cleaning." 

"That's the plan." 

"I thought you were taking a vacation?" 

"I am, but I'm also going to be screwing whatever dark fate this world has." 

"Won't that make any gods here mad?" 

"Nah… I doubt it." 

"Well, whatever you say daddy." Gabriel smiled. 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. 

"Uchiha-sama, we're here to take you to the training field." A voice came from behind the door. 

"Very well, we shall be there." 

I turned to Ophis and Gabriel, "Wanna come watch?" 

Ophis shook her head while pulling out another cinnamon bun, Gabriel happily nodded her head.

"Alright then, Ophis you can stay. Make sure to restrain anyone who tries something like those masked fuckers, Gabriel let's go." 

Gabriel grabbed my arm as I opened the door. The ANBU guards greeted us before stepping out onto the street. Gabriel and I followed the ANBU to a secluded training field where a small gathering of people caught my attention. The Hokage was also there, as was a good number of relatively familiar faces. 

I spotted Inoichi, Choza, Shikaku, someone who looked like an older Kakashi, Jiraya, Tsunade, and Oruchimaru, even a few ANBU were perched on a few branches. 

"Quite the crowd." I hummed. 

Hiruzen chuckled, "People want to see how the son of the Ghost of the Uchiha performs." 

"So it's confirmed then?" 

Hiruzen sighed, "Yes, we got the results for your blood test earlier. It's a match, he was your father." 

"What about my mother?" 

"We'll discuss that later after your test." 

I already knew though, he wanted to keep it under wraps for now since I had made sure my dna would give off both Senju and Uchiha traits. Reality altering powers were really broken. 

"Fine then, who am I fighting?" 

"You'll be fighting four opponents. Will you be fine with that?" The Hokage raised an eyebrow while chewing on the end of his pipe. 

"Sure, they have health insurance right?" I smirked. 

I got a few nervous chuckles, smirking triumphantly I made my way to the center of the training ground. I scanned the group and attempted to see who would fight me. I had a feeling that I'd have to fight at least one of the legendary trio. 

"Alright Hokage-san, I'm ready. Send in the first victi- I mean challenger." 

Hiruzen nodded and motioned for a masked ANBU to step forward. I couldn't quite tell who it was but they already had their sword drawn and held off to their side. 

"Kenjutsu first then?" 

No one responded, the ANBU rushed forward and swung at my neck. I summoned my sword to my hand causing some people to gasp in shock in the crowd. Clearly they thought I just 'unsealed' my sword from a seal without the poof of smoke. 

Blocking the strike I parried and countered the ANBU's attack. Cursing the ANBU backflipped away as I went on the offensive. They were not fast enough however and I caught them with a slash to the chest. 

A feminine scream rang out as my sword cut through the armor and into the ANBU's flesh. I hummed as the now revealed female ANBU jumped to her feet and rushed forward again. 

"I suggest forfeiting, you'll only injure yourself further ANBU-san." 

She growled and started slashing at me wildly, trying not to hurt the woman I blocked and redirected most of her attacks while dodging the rest. She went for a stab and just to flex on everyone I jumped up and landed on her sword Pai Mei style. Capitalising on her shock, I pulled another Pai Mei special and introduced her chin to my foot. 

The female ANBU flew back and crashed into a tree. She didn't stay down for long however, jumping back to her feet she let out a roar and charged back at me. She drew her sword back to swing and I got ready to introduce her face to my other foot but Hiruzen called for the match to end.

"Tora that's enough, you have been bested. It's time for the next portion." 

The woman quickly bowed, "Hai, Hokage-sama." 

She reluctantly walked away and was met by medics who started treating her wounds. 

"Now it's time for the Ninjutsu portion, If you're ready." Hiruzen gave me a glance. 

Nodding at the aged Hokage who then motioned for someone else to step forward. Only Orochimaru and Jiraya stepped forward. Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at the two. 

"What? You saw how he dealt with the last person he fought. He's clearly above Jonin level." Jiraya answered the unasked question. 

Orochimaru nodded in agreement, "Sensei, I wish to test a few new Jutsu as well." 

"Very well, if you're okay with it Uchiha-sama." Hiruzen looked at me again.

I sighed, "Might as well have Tsunade join too, no sense in fighting just two of the three Sannin." 

Tsunade smirked, "Don't get too cocky brat." 

Returning her smirk I replied, "I'm not cocky, I'm confident." 

The Sannin took their positions and got into their fighting stances. Hiruzen raised a hand to start the fight. Just as he dropped his hand I flared my chakra and grinned. 

"Let's dance." 

[Scene Break]

"Let's dance." 

Hiruzen, suppressed a shiver as he watched Akimitsu Uchiha inadvertently reminded him of Madara. Hiruzen may have just been just a child when he first met the Ghost of the Uchiha, but he could still remember watching Hashirama and Madara spar. Those words were almost a catchphrase for the infamous Uchiha. 

The aged Hokage winced as he watched Akimitsu deflect a punch from Tsunade. The punch hit Jiraya in the gut sending the white haired Sannin flying into the trees. 

Orochimaru flew through hand signs and sent a wave of fire at the Uchiha. Tsunade tried to hit Akimitsu to prevent him from counterattacking, key word 'tried'. Akimitsu did a single horse seal before shooting out a literal sea of flames at the two Sannin.

"What a terrifying jutsu…" Hiruzen's eyes widened when the flames grew hotter and red lightning cracked around the edges, "with a single seal as well." 

Orochimaru blitzed through hand seals and slapped the ground. A wall of stone erupted burst from the ground, Tsunade jumped behind the wall just as Jiraya recovered. 

Jiraya cursed at being knocked so far away and performed a shunshin to cover the distance. His chakra flared as he threw out his own jutsu, summoning a large wave of water that barely managed to hold the flames at bay. Unfortunately for the self proclaimed 'super pervert' he failed to notice the lightning. 

Jiraya was electrocuted and blasted towards the wall, Orochimaru caught his fellow Sannin as Tsunade punched the wall. The stone from the wall shot forward at Akimitsu who vanished in a seal-less shunshin. 

Reappearing behind the blonde Sannin, he chopped her in the back of the neck knocking her out cold. Tsunade could only curse as her world went black. A medic-nin caught the woman before she could hit the ground and took her away to safety. 

Meanwhile Orochimaru had somehow woke Jiraya back up, now the two remaining Sannin stood side by side facing the slowly approaching Uchiha. 

Akimitsu broke into a run, Jiraya leapt to intercept him as Orochimaru summoned dozens of snakes to try and slow the Uchiha down. 

What followed was a brutal beat down that no one would forget. The Uchiha didn't fight using the standard Interceptor Fist that most of his clan used. Maito Dai watched in awe as Akimitsu proceeded to take Jiraya out with ruthless efficiency using elbows, knees, and a whole flurry of kicks and punches that sounded like they could crush stone. 

Jiraya collapsed to the ground in a bloody heap making Orochimaru grit his teeth in frustration. Nothing he threw at the Uchiha seemed to do much more than annoy the Sharingan wielder. 

The Uchiha crossed his arms and gave Orochimaru an unimpressed stare. Anger flashed into the snake Sannin's mind as he glared at the slowly spinning red eyes of his opponent. 

"I can't say I'm very impressed with you three. It obvious that you are or were a team at some point, but I saw no cohesive teamwork between you." 

Not giving the Uchiha the satisfaction of a reply, Orochimaru flashed through seals and used the summoning jutsu. A large puff of smoke filled the makeshift arena blinding most of the audience. 

"Orochimaru, I expect a hundred sacrifices for this!" 

Orochimaru had summoned Manda and was now standing on the boss summons head. 

"Yeah whatever Manda, just help me defeat that man."

Hiruzen frowned at his former student, he'd have to speak with him about his summon and its apparent request for 'sacrifices'. 

"Tch… very well." 

Akimitsu stood with the same look on his face, arms still crossed across his crest. 

"That's it? A big snake," Akimitsu sighed, "hopefully he can take this next attack without dying." 

Orochimaru and Manda tensed and got ready for another jutsu, but none came. Hiruzen looked towards Akimitsu, the Hokage's eyes widened when he saw the Uchiha's eyes spin before morphing into a different design. 

There was no warning before a large shape burst around Akimitsu. At first Hiruzen thought it was some jutsu that Orochimaru used, but his assumptions were proven wrong when the shape took the form of a large warrior who seemed to be composed of blue flames. 

Several Uchiha observers gaped at the sight of their clan's ultimate display of mastery over the Sharingan. There were only records of such a feat in their library. Records that described how Madara had fought Hashirama using a similar technique. 

"The Susanoo…" One of them breathed. 

Hiruzen had also heard of this technique despite never having seen it himself. Hashirama and Tobirama had talked about their fights with Madara and how the Uchiha had used the technique to level mountains with a single attack. The Hokage saw the warrior raise an arm before a flaming blue ethereal sword materialized in the giant warrior's hand. Before the sword could swing, Hiruzen jumped between his former student and the Uchiha.

"Enough! I have seen enough, there's no need to continue this fight." 

Thankfully the Uchiha complied and the warrior disappeared. Akimitsu landed gracefully on the ground as the Susanoo disintegrated. Orochimaru 'tsked' and dispelled Manda before the snake summon could protest. 

"So, how did I do?" Akimitsu asked with a smile making many in the crowd sweatdrop. 

[Scene Break]

I was a tiny bit disappointed that Hiruzen had stopped the fight. I wanted to use the Susanoo against Orochimaru to see if his reverse vore jutsu would still work after getting whacked over the head. 

"You… you did exceptionally well Uchiha-sama." Hiruzen replied. 

"Thank you, Hokage-sama, and what shall my rank be?" 

"We will discuss this back in my office." 

Nodding at the man I turned to the individual approaching me. With the green one piece spandex bodysuit, one could assume that the man was Maito Gai. Gai wasn't born yet or was possibly still a baby though, so everything pointed to this man being Maito Dai. The father of Konoha's Green Beast, also the man currently working on the Eight Gates.

"Impressive display of Taijutsu friend!" Dai gave me a signature 'nice guy' pose complete with the sparkle in his teeth. 

I wondered if it was some sort of 'bloodline' ability the Maito family carried. Gai was practically a carbon copy of his dad, and Lee had an uncanny resemblance to Gai. They were apparently not related in any way, but I called bullshit on that. There was no way two people could look near identical without having some sort of blood relation. Fucking Kishimoto… I was willing to bet he changed a bunch of shit before publishing the first iteration of Naruto. There was just way too many inconsistencies with the plot. 

"Thank you, I created it myself." I returned his smile, he didn't need to know that I definitely didn't invent Pencak Silat nor the fact that I was most definitely questioning his entire family tree. 

Apparently an 'Uchiha' so much as talking to the 'Eternal Genin' was shocking to everyone as people froze where they were. Shame that they don't realize just how cracked this guys abilities in Taijutsu were. I was half tempted to break the small challenge I had set for myself here to only use the worlds regular powers and abilities or I would have made Maito Dai into a ninja so strong that even Kaguya would shit themselves in fear at his presence alone. 

Now that would be a HILARIOUS sight to see. Maybe in the next world, my purpose here was to have fun while not breaking canon too much. 

[Scene Break]

I sat across from the Hokage waiting patiently for him to give me his verdict on my ranking. It was only taking so long because the old man was seemingly deep in thought. Finally my impatience won out and I asked the aged ninja. 

"So… have you decided on my rank Hokage-san." 

It still felt weird using Japanese honorifics when everything sounded like English to me. Then again, when every language was automatically translated in my head, it didn't matter what I was speaking, everything I said would sound like the native tongue of whoever I was talking to. 

"I have, Akimitsu Uchiha, from this day forward I grant you the rank of Jonin…"

"I'm sensing a 'but' there."

"You are correct. While you will have the rank of Jonin. You will be put on a strict probationary status where you will be shadowed by one of my ANBU for a period of six months." 

"Bit long for a probationary position."

"Due to your… unique heritage I hope you understand." 

"Of course, with that said… is there anything else?" 

"Hmm, I believe the current Uchiha Clan Head would like to speak with you." 

"About?" 

"Your heritage." 

"I see, very well Hokage-sama. If that's all?" 

"That will be all, speak to my assistant should you find yourself having any questions." 

I nodded at the man before getting up and walking out of his office. I hummed to myself as I made my way out of the Hokage tower. While I walked to the Uchiha compound I made mental notes about my overall goals in this world. 

While I wasn't too concerned about screwing with canon, since my mere presence has already ensured that things would change, I also didn't want to just go about screwing with everything.

Oh, who am I kidding… that was the best part about being as powerful as I was. I could quite literally do whatever the fuck I wanted with very little reprecussions. 

When I finally reached the Uchiha Clan compound I was greeted by four guards along with a man that looked slightly familiar. 

'Who the fuck is this guy? Fugaku isn't clan head yet, so this must be his dad or the Clan Head before him.' 

"Uchiha-sama, please follow me to my office." 

I raised an eyebrow at that, he was the clan head and yet he referred to me as if I was a higher rank. Putting that detail aside for another time I nodded and followed him to a large mansion with his guards flanking me on either side. 

Once we reached a modestly sized office he motioned for his guard to leave us and took a seat at a desk.  

"Please, take a seat. We have much to discuss." 

I hummed, "I'm guessing this is something to do with the future of the Uchiha and the Clan leadership in the future?" 

The man sighed, "Indeed, but please, let me introduce myself first. My name is Fujitaka Uchiha, current Clan Head of the Uchiha." 

"Well met, Fujitaka-san. My name is Akimitsu, though I'm guessing you should already know that by now." 

"The news that the direct descendant of the founder of our clan has come to the village, has indeed reached the ears of the clan elders." 

"So, what's to be done?" 

"Half of them wish for you to take the title of clan head…" 

"And the other half?" 

"Elected not to say anything. I believe that they are either happy with the way things are or don't really care about the politics." 

"What do you think, what do you want?"

The man sighed, "I wish for the clan to prosper. Our ancestor has muddied the Uchiha name. I can already predict that the village will seek to further limit our influence just as the Nidaime Hokage had done." 

I hummed, "What would be the course of action then?" 

"Seeing that you are the direct descendant of our ancestor, it would be much more beneficial for the village to see you changing the clan for the better." 

"You truly believe that I can bring prosperity to the clan?"

"You have already started, with that display of your skill and power against the legendary Sannin earlier today." He replied easily. 

"So, what would you have me do?" 

"Rest for now, we shall discuss the future leadership of the clan tomorrow." 

"Very well, Fujitaka-san." 

The man nodded and made a hand gesture, a second later, a woman entered the room and stood by patiently as he wrapped up the meeting. 

"Maki here is my assitant, she will show you to your room." 

Giving the man a slight bow, I followed the woman out of the office and into the 'hallway' of the Uchiha mansion. She quietly led me over to a guest house before bowing respectfully and disappearing. 

Humming to myself I pondered what just happened. I didn't really want to lead anything, and I found it highly suspect that a prideful clan would even suggest that some unknown person take the clan head position. Even if Madara himself came into the village I doubt that they would have asked him to lead the clan. 

'Is the clan being ostracised already? I know that the second Hokage didn't really like the Uchiha due to some weird racism thing he had because of Madara and his brother, but that's literally the point of this village. Hashirama and Madara founded it so that clans and kids didn't kill each other over something that petty. Fucking Kishimoto and his bullshit plot devices.' 

I sighed loudly and took a look at the guest house I was in. It was a picture perfect example of a Japanese style house complete with paper doors and woven mat floors. To be completely honest it was rather homely and cozy. 

Slipping off my 'ninja slippers', they really were just boots with open toes, I stepped into the home and closed the sliding paper door behind me. Ophis and Gabriel had left before my meeting with Hiruzen. Things felt oddly quiet without the two. 

I didn't really need sleep being what I was so I kind of just stood there awkwardly for a few minutes while thinking of my next course of action, eventually I adopted a more comfortable position and lay on the tatami mat floor. 

Madara was alive, holed up in a cave somewhere with the creepy half and half fucker. I'd need to deal with that first, then there was the dynamic trio of Nagato, Proto-Naruto, and the hot origami goth girl. I reckoned that they were still around and building their group. With Danzo gone, they wouldn't lose the orange one. Unless of course, it already happened. 

Then there was the whole rabbit goddess plot. She was batshit insane but damn if she wasn't attractive as fuck. I'd weighed the option of seducing her instead of sealing her away again. I did need more gods/goddesses in my 'pantheon'. 

I vaguely remembered another plot involving Kaguya's species. I made a mental note to fly into space and eliminate the entire species of wacky fucks. I wasn't about to change things in this world just so some pasty alien cucks could ruin it the second I leave. 

Nodding to myself I whipped out my phone and made a short list of things to do. I had approximately twelve hours to do a few things before dawn the next day when I'd need to talk to Fujitaka again. 

Getting up from where I was laying down I summoned my shoes back on my feet and teleported a few hundred feet above the village. Glancing down at Konoha I couldn't help but to marvel at how serene it looked. Wouldn't last very long though. Just because one village was peaceful didn't mean the others were the same. Those other villages would end up starting a war whether Konoha wanted to be a part of it or not. 

Shrugging off my straying thoughts I flew around for a few hours trying to track down Madara's man cave. It took me nearly half the time I had just to find it. Landing just outside the entrance I readied myself for a confrontation and stepped into the darkness. 

[Scene Break]

Sharingan spinning ominously, I observed the dank cave I had set foot in. The lack of light was a non issue with the bullshit pinwheel eyes I gave myself. I took in every detail quickly while keeping guard up. No sense in tempting Murphy, especially not while the black sludge known as Black Zetsu was around. I didn't need to go testing if the extraterrestrial wanker could possess me. He was, after all, 'birthed' by a so-called deity. 

While I had doubts that Kaguya was really a goddess, she did eat the freaky pomegranate that made her as close to a god as this world would get. 

Confidence in my own power aside, I wanted to 'roleplay' a bit and blatantly using god powers was definitely immersion breaking. I've said this already before, however, I feel that if my life was some sort of story and people were reading it as words on a screen, then those people would probably benefit from the occasional reminder. 

A dull scraping sound drew my attention to a dark(er) corner of the cave. There sat upon a throne carved from the earth, was Uchiha Madara, withered with age, his body frail. In his silver ringed eyes though, I could still see a fire that refused to be extinguished. Despite his age, he still had some fight in him.

"Has my mind finally broken?" His voice still held a shadow of his former strength. 

"Were you ever truly sane to begin with?" I mirrored his voice just to screw with him a bit. 

The ancient ninja chuckled, I hid my surprise by crossing my arms in a fashion that was bound to be familiar to the infamous Uchiha. 

"So… has my time finally come?" 

I didn't reply to his question, instead I remained rooted in place while silently deciding what to do. 

"Your silence is all the answer I need. Tell me, are you the Shinigami? Have you come to take me to the afterlife? Why are you wearing my face?" 

He asked question after question, but I remained silent. Still undecided on his fate. Killing him would be the easiest option. I didn't really have a use for the man, he was already supposed to be dead. 

'Death it is, but… I want to give him the chance to die as a warrior instead of an old man.'

"Care for one last dance?" I finally spoke.

Madara's features twisted into a smile, the fire behind his eyes burned brighter. With creaking old bones, the Ghost of the Uchiha stood for his last dance.