It is Easiest to be Obsessed by Everyone

I could tell by his reaction. 

He was definitely the one who wrote that post.

“Uh. Well, please have a seat here first.”  

The manager quickly guided me to a table in the corner.  

I sat without crossing my legs and leaned slightly against the backrest. I was polite yet exuded a subtle confidence. 

I could just listen, and if it didn’t work out, I could leave. 

If he wanted to turn me into a workhorse, he’d have to have a professor title at the very least. 

But right now, I was just a highschool graduate. It worked as an invincible shield against such things.

“So, did you happen to see this on the ○○ site?”  

“No, I was just passing by when a friend suddenly suggested I check this place out.”  

“Oh, I see…”  

He appeared to believe me.

“I actually laughed at the conditions at first, thinking they were ridiculous. But my friend said, ‘You’re already on your way, so why not check it out.’ Is it true?”  

I made it look like I was about to leave at any moment.  

If he said, ‘Haha, that was just a misunderstanding,’ I’d stand up right away.  

Besides, this suit was rented at a 30% discount thanks to a new female employee.

“It’s absolutely true. But there are conditions. You have to commit to at least two years—no, at least one year of consistent work.”  

“If those are the conditions, I’d love to work as long as possible. In times like these, who would turn down such an offer?”  

“It might seem like I’m overreaching, but I’ve seen firsthand how having a good-looking male employee can multiply sales several times over. That’s why I’m confident in offering such an extraordinary deal.”  

The owner explained enthusiastically, almost spitting as he spoke.

“People don’t realize it, but in this café industry, having a good-looking guy like you can make an insane difference in sales.”  

“Is it really that much?”  

“Do you have any experience working part-time?”  

“Yes. I’ve done some clinical trial part-time work.”  

“Clinical trial…?”  

“Taking new drugs. You know, human trials.”  

“Wow. You really don’t look like someone who’d need to do that… Why…?”  

“I wasn’t the one taking the drugs; I was just the guide.”  

“Oh. I see.”

We went over the specific terms.  

The workdays would be Monday to Friday, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. 

The 40% incentive would only apply to the sales generated while I was on duty. 

That was perfectly reasonable to me.

“But do I really just sit around like a totem?”  

“Well, customers will see you as an employee, so you should at least pretend to be serving in the hall…”  

“I was already thinking about that.”

“Oh my, as expected of a handsome person—you’re so easy to talk to and straightforward.”  

Jung Hyena worked a 9-to-6 schedule, five days a week.  

Though she often had random overtime on weekends, nights, and early mornings, this would keep me busy while she was at work.  

“So when can you start…?”  

“Today’s Friday, so I’ll start on Monday. Just fulfilling my role as a totem, right?”  

“Of course! I’ll handle the tough jobs with the other part-timers.”  

“I look forward to Monday then.”  

“Sure. See you then.”  

I noticed the part-timers glancing over at us, holding their breath.  

It was only day three of being this good-looking, but I was starting to get the vibe.  

I walked over to the counter and gave them a friendly smile.  

“I’ll be working here starting Monday. Please take care of me.”  

“Kyaa. Really?”  

“Wow. That’s great! We were hoping you’d join. Let’s make this work out!”  

As I was about to leave, the manager asked. 

“By the way, you could definitely make it as a celebrity. Have you been scouted often?”  

“No. Not even once.”  

“Those talent scouts must be blind. No wonder the new idols these days are the way they are.”  

———

I stopped by the photo studio next to the café to take some ID photos.  

I’d say I made good use of the suit and my time.  

It was Friday night, after all.  

Since I was already in a suit, I might as well make the most of it.  

I’d always had a little fantasy about a suit date.  

Secretly dating a coworker and having a cold beer at a busy pub after work in our business attire.  

Even if you weren’t previously deprived of such experiences, everyone had at least a few hundred of these little dreams.  

It was time to start ticking off those bucket list items.  

I called Hyena.  

“Are you up?”  

– Yes. Are you outside?  

“Yeah, I was just taking some ID photos and running errands. It’s Friday night. How about we grab a beer?”  

– Sounds great! I’ll get ready and come right out. You go ahead first.  

“By any chance, do you have a suit?”  

– Uh, why? If I know the reason, maybe I can…  

“I’m wearing a suit right now. Rented it to take the photos.”  

– A suit? Right now?  

“Yeah. So I thought it would be nice if you matched with me…”  

– Kyaa! Of course! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Oppa in a suit—this is a once-in-a-lifetime event!  

Looks like Chang-woo hardly ever wore anything but slacks.  

But to call it a once-in-a-lifetime event was a bit much.

——-

Hwang Ah-young was spending her Friday night in Gangnam, drinking with her friends.  

“It’s been six days already. He’s never gone off the grid for this long. His phone is always off, and he doesn’t even check his Instagram DMs.”  

“Since when did Lee Chang-woo ever check them?”  

“Did he die or something?”  

“Hey! Don’t jinx it!” 

“How many people must there be who hold a grudge against Lee Chang-woo all over the place?”  

“What did Chang-woo ever do wrong? If they looked even a fraction as good as Chang-woo, would their girlfriends have even glanced elsewhere?”  

“Still, it’s true that Chang-woo was unlucky. He’d be minding his own business, then some girl with a boyfriend would start flirting with him, and then her boyfriend would freak out on him.”  

Kim Ju-ri rested her chin on her hand and glanced at Hwang Ah-young.  

“In my opinion, he’s gotten married. Secretly.”  

“Don’t say such crap. Chang-woo’s not like that.”  

“Come on, let’s be real. What does Chang-woo have besides his looks?”  

Seo Yu-min quietly added.

“With a face like Chang-woo’s, women would line up to support him even if he was a billion dollars in debt. In that case, he has everything.”  

“Anyway, I’m telling you, he’s married. We saw the pictures of his house, didn’t we? No way he could afford that kind of place on rent or anything. Some rich madam in Gangnam must’ve set him up.”  

“Hey, Chang-woo finds bar girls disgusting. He loathes that stuff. It doesn’t make sense.”  

Just then, Kim Ju-ri lowered herself close to the table and quickly slapped her palm on it.  

“Hey, hey, hold up. Ultra-handsome guy spotted. Cut the local broadcast now.”  

“What? Where?”  

“From our current position, 3 o’clock. Ah-young, it’s 9 o’clock for you. Look discreetly.”  

The three women quickly locked onto the handsome guy with their sensors.  

He appeared to have just gotten off work from a nearby company. He wore a dark navy suit that perfectly accentuated his tall frame.  

Standing around 185 cm, he had a perfect 1:9 head-to-body ratio and mysterious facial features that appeared to be meticulously crafted.  

The plain horn-rimmed glasses would have been a nerdy symbol on someone else, but with his neatly styled pomade hair, they became an intellectual mark.  

“Wow. Jackpot. This is insane.”  

“There’s a guy like that working at a company in Gangnam? Why is he working there? Why? Why? Why?”  

“Hey. It looks like he’s alone. Should we go over and talk to him?”  

The handsome man had already found a seat and sat down.  

But hardly a moment after he took his seat, some girls in their early twenties approached him.  

“Wow! Look at how flustered he is. So innocent.”  

“Totally not what you’d expect.”  

“He’s really good-looking. Makes Lee Chang-woo look like nothing.”  

“Shut up. He’s really handsome, sure, and he’s in the same league as Chang-woo, but… Wait a minute, isn’t that Chang-woo?”  

“No way. But he does kind of look like Chang-woo.”  

“I’m pretty sure that’s Chang-woo. The odds of two people looking like that existing on this planet are basically zero.”  

“Right, but why would Chang-woo be here?”  

“That’s definitely Chang-woo. Remove the glasses, the suit, the pomade, and apply the usual filter. It’s him, isn’t it?” 

“Hey. Chang-woo has 1.5 vision, why would he wear glasses? And have you ever seen him in a suit? He always dresses like a hobo in ragged fashion, but still looks like a painting. Gosh, I suddenly miss Chang-woo.”  

“I’m telling you, it’s Chang-woo. He married a rich woman, and she’s dressing him up like that. I’m right, aren’t I?”  

Seo Yu-min insisted strongly, and her two friends groaned as they continued to stare at the handsome guy.  

Women had already approached him for the third time, either to get his number or join him.  

“Seems like it.”  

“A man that good-looking can’t exist twice on this planet. That’s a sign of the apocalypse.”  

“Judging by his looks and how he gets approached as easily as breathing, it seems like it’s him. But looking at his style, it seems like it isn’t.”  

“Does Chang-woo have a twin brother or something?”  

“Not that I know of.”  

“Hey! Get up. We can just go and ask him.”  

“Yeah. Let’s go.”  

“Ah-young’s totally lost it now.”  

___

These horn-rimmed glasses were without a prescription.  

The last time I was at a bar, I had to leave quickly because I was getting hit on so much, so I bought these cheap glasses.  

But something felt off. 

It appeared like even more women were flocking around me compared to last time.  

Maybe I should buy a ring and wear it on my ring finger.  

I put on my earphones and closed my eyes.  

They were just used as a disguise. 

It worked, though.  

Being super handsome has its cons too.  

Not everything about it is all good.  

Still, if I were to be reborn, I’d want this face again.  

I was curious about what Hyena would wear.  

She seemed so thrilled when I mentioned a suit; she almost fainted from excitement.  

I hoped she would show up in a double-breasted suit, but even if she didn’t, that was fine.  

It’d be something to look forward to next time.  

We had plenty of time ahead of us.  

Tonight, I was going to do something I’d always wanted.  

Have a fun night out in Gangnam with my pretty girlfriend, drink beer and chat.  

Then head straight to a motel for the night.  

Not for a solo business trip, but for the first time ever, I would be going to a motel with a woman.  

And then, at the motel…  

“Lee Chang-woo?”  

At first, I didn’t realize someone was calling me.  

I’d been using another name for over 32 years, so how could I respond to ‘Lee Chang-woo’ after just three days?  

In hindsight, it was probably a good thing.  

“Lee Chang-woo. Lee Chang-woo. It is you, right?”  

When I pretended not to hear with my earphones in, they went so far as to knock on the table to get my attention.  

Ignoring them further would have been strange, so I took out my earphones and turned around.  

Three women were standing there. 

The girl with long straight hair in the middle was glaring at me with fierce eyes.  

The girl with short hair on the left looked intrigued.  

The girl with tied-up hair on the right glanced between the long-haired girl and me.  

The long-haired girl demanded, her tone almost lingering on the edge of accusation. “Lee Chang-woo, why haven’t you been answering my calls?”  

She roughly grabbed my hand, which was resting on the table.  

Because of that, I ended up seeing something I didn’t really want to know, yet already knew.  

[Hwang Ah-young]  

[24 years old]  

[166cm, 50kg, G cup]  

[Basic Sexual Desire: B]  

[Affection for You: S]  

[Your Oral Ejaculations: 42 times]  

[Your Vaginal Ejaculations: 43 times]  

[Special Note: No Anal Experience, Last Vaginal Ejaculation 8 days 3 hours ago]  

‘Is dopamine really about expecting what’s going to happen next with women?’

‘I take that back.’

Right now, my brain cells must be releasing adrenaline like a rabbit facing its predator.  

‘Damn. What should I say?’

‘What can I say to get out of this situation?’

‘Saying that I’m not Chang-woo would be pointless’

‘Wait, though?’

‘What’s something Chang-woo would never say?’

“Was kann ich für Sie tun?”  

(What can I do for you?)  

“G-German?”  

“See? I told you, he’s not Chang-woo.”