I Was Sick of Loving You

3 – Iris

The day that became the starting point of a painful life came.

Ahead of the decisive battle to cut off that life, it makes the heart calm like a lake on a windless day. I sharpen the sword I put on the side of my heart.

Whatever happens, don’t let your life be as fleeting as the last time.

So that it does not lead to an unrequited life.

I will not be a warrior who is excited about fighting the strong, but I will be a defeated soldier who loses terribly. For that reason, I cut through my life as a warrior with the sword I had in my heart. deny

I will become a loser who loses badly to her sword today, disappointing her who still has a little bit of emotion left. will break off

As a warrior, he carves embarrassing thoughts into his heart like great convictions.

Then prepare everything she might not like.

Wash your body clean, put on light makeup, which is popular among young male aristocrats full of vanity, and tidy up your hair.

I forcibly endure the nausea that rises from the depths of my body at the smell and touch of the powder, and wear the most colorful and uncomfortable clothes out of all the clothes.

I want to tear off my clothes and wash off the dirt with water, so I cut with a knife once again.

Today I am a vain, worthless piece of trash.

That’s how I hypnotize myself, and I move a step that doesn’t fall, and prepare to greet her.

He orders the attendant waiting in front of the door to take over the rose that has been prepared in advance, and he waits for her.

With 55 years of memories, I wait for her from 35 years ago.

While waiting for her like that, the human also came down. His displeased gaze scans me once, then a shallow smile.

“On a day like today, decorating a little is polite to the other person.

I let go of that person’s unpleasant words and nodded lightly.

“You’ll be nervous, but as long as you don’t make a big mistake, nothing will happen.”

That human who doesn’t know what I’m thinking says that in a voice mixed with laughter and pats my back lightly.

Right now, while everything about me is giving me a sense of nausea, I bit my lip and held it in as I thought I would regurgitate what was really inside of me after hearing that.

As she forcibly endures nausea with pain and kills time, a carriage that is not flashy but has a subtle charm passes through the front gate, stops in front of the main building, and she gets off the carriage.

It seems to overlap with her appearance before being kicked out of the annex.

Her eyes and expression, like jewels, are a bit smaller and younger than her who has matured over the years, but they are still devoid of any emotions. Her hair is like a beautiful lake. Her face, flawless and flawless as if carved from marble, stimulates the memory and mind of the previous life.

My heart beats fast against my will.

It was so painful, but even though it hurt to the point of death, I couldn’t calm my fluttering heart or pounding heart just by seeing her again.

I have to buy hate, but I hate it so much and it hurts just thinking about it.

I am so stupid and annoyed that I bite my innocent lips.

While lost in that thought, she and the human exchanged a brief greeting, and the human said a few words and went away laughing.

I’m sure it’s useless words like “Have a good time”… There won’t be a good time for me or her.

“Nice to meet you. This is Alik Norman.”

“It’s Iris Brandt.”

Her short greeting, almost rude, is still the same.

“It’s our first meeting, but it’s a bit difficult to come empty-handed, so I prepared some flowers that I like.”

I lie about liking flowers I don’t even like, and Heffer Boy smiles and hands her the bouquet of red roses I’ve prepared for her.

She receives it with a nonchalant expression and hands it over to the attendants behind her.

It’s an act that goes against etiquette for a long time, but each and every one of her dignified and dignified movements justifies everything.

Then she looks into my eyes and throws a sword at me like that time. I accept the sword with a surprised expression on my face.

“Conversation is enough as a sword. Guide me to the gymnasium.”

He calms down her raging mind by guiding her to the gymnasium, who looks more rough than in her last life.

Arriving at the gymnasium, leaving uncomfortable outerwear to the attendant, everyone was bitten.

The attendants, who were expecting to see the divine sword, looked dissatisfied, but quietly retreated and the surroundings became quiet.

The two of us face each other and pull out the sword from the scabbard.

The clear sound of the sword being pulled out stimulates my heart.

My life as a warrior calls out to defeat the enemy in front of me, and my childish heart, wanting to be acknowledged by the girl who thought it was gone, whispers that now is my chance.

Just as my heart cries out, there will never be a chance for me to win over her and receive recognition, whether in the past or in the future.

However, what to do with being acknowledged, the handful of emotions left in her now will soon freeze, die, and be forgotten.

It is enough to experience such things with children. I don’t want to go through that kind of thing anymore.

It hurts enough to hurt, so that’s enough. I don’t want any more pain.

Even though I think so, my heart seems to be different. The shaking doesn’t go away.

If I face her any more than this and become obsessed with thoughts, it seems that my plan will go awry, so I move my heavy body as if wet with water and hit the ball.

I charged at her and struck the sword with a sloppy posture that didn’t even strain my back. If I dodged this much and counterattacked, I might be able to finish it right away, but perhaps to judge me, she didn’t dodge and blocked me with swords.

When the swords met, her facial muscles seemed to have died, her face frowning.

It was probably a feeling of annoyance and disappointment. As a young enemy, she was particularly strict when it came to swords, so of course she was angry.

In order to look like idiots who only believe in size and strength, they attack with force without any explanation. She twists her sword to the side and drains her strength, and she burrows into my empty arms and tramples my stomach with a pommel.

I twisted my body slightly and was able to shed some strength, but I accepted it as it was.

In return, her power is fully transmitted and violates the stomach. I can’t breathe and the pain comes like waves.

Dropping his sword, he loses strength in his legs and collapses.

I hold my breath as I embrace the part of my life that cries out in shame as a warrior and my nervous and fluctuating heart, fearing that the smoke will be discovered.

“As expected, Divinity is on a different level from other people. lost.”

She is a skill that can only be laughed at, but I see her talking about things that can be said by idiots who seek reasons from others, not their own skills.

She blushed slightly from anger, and wrinkles formed on her forehead.

You, who still have colors to lose, are beautiful even when you are angry.

Such a thought drives away the thought as a cold blade hangs down the side of my neck.

“Did you guys think I was funny? Do you look like an asshole who can’t recognize acting?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She forcibly pretends to be stunned, but her face turns a little redder and she feels the blade tremble next to her neck.

“Ha… You really do see me as an idiot.”

“I never really did.”

I try to pretend to be unfair. As if that had succeeded in arousing her anger, she removed the sword from my neck and lifted it up with a strong grip on my collar to the point that the buttons on my clothes would fall off.

“Shut up! Do you think it makes sense for a human whose eyes won’t fall off my sword, and whose hands are full of calluses, to wield a sword by force alone, like the first person to hold a sword?”

No words come out. The embarrassment over such a stupid mistake and the fact that she can feel and express emotions to this extent, like a stone statue, shuts my mouth.

“This time, he doesn’t even make an excuse and keeps his mouth shut… Okay, keep doing that.”

She throws me as it is while holding me by the collar. Feeling floating, goosebumps all over your body, your intuition warns you.

As soon as I hit the ground, I roll unsightly sideways and quickly kick the ground to get myself up, putting me and her in sight.

Next to it was the sword I had dropped earlier.

“You have to risk your life to do it right.”

“Even if you are a princess, this is crossing the line!”

“You are the one who scorned me and crossed the line.”

Sensing that the life force is growing, he pulls out the sword next to him and swings it. Ignoring the feeling of repulsive force so heavy that my hand trembled, I twisted my sword to block the diagonal sword attack.

In that state, she thrusts her sword in and aims at my face. She turns her face to avoid it and kicks her with her foot to increase the distance.

As if she had no intention of allowing the distance to widen, she dug right in and stabbed her.

He slashed the stabbing sword down with a pommel, and tried to cut her in reverse. Yi-seong puts on the brake and cuts off the sword with the pommel, then hits her with the blade and pushes her away.

She was pushed back and immediately took up her stance, but unlike before, she didn’t rush right away, but quietly glared at me with burning eyes.

“You still scorn me. Why do you throw away the opportunity to cut it down? Am I not seen as a warrior because I am a woman? Or do I look weak enough to give up winning spirits?”

After those words, her life-force disappears for an instant, and the air that trembles with life becomes quiet.

“done. No matter what the reason. Try to do that until the end.”

Her sword emits a vivid blue light. Come on. Violence that is given only to warriors who have reached the stage after countless training and battles, and a power that my body cannot yet use. Such power unfolds from her sword.

The sword she’s holding now doesn’t look like a bad sword, but if she touches her sword, it’ll cut off in a matter of seconds.

It’s the first time I’ve seen her angry, so I don’t feel it, but since she even used an aura without mutual consent, she wouldn’t accept it even if I declared defeat.

For me now, there is no option other than to force and overwork my body, which is lacking compared to my mind, and end it in an instant.

I prepare a technology made from the realizations I have gained, both future and past.

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Lightly hold the sword with both hands with your right hand, awaken the insufficient mana in your body, and use the small amount of mana to increase your body’s vitality. Gather all the remaining mana in your left hand and resonate with the unrefined mana spreading in the air. It compresses the resonated mana and makes it one with the skin and builds up the mind.

The sword attack that I have always seen for over 30 years is directed at me. I grabbed her strong sword with my left hand as if it would cut everything. No, it is inserted between the thumb and the rest of the fingers.

Mana and hands scream at the encounter with a rough aura, but they ignore it and assimilate and harden as if they were one with her aura from the beginning, twisting the flow and sending everything into the air.

Her sword strikes were blocked and their destructive movement stopped.

Seeing that, he thrusts his sword into her throat, which shakes her eyes, and squeezes out words to break her down.

“I can’t treat a woman who is inexperienced enough to hold the blade as a warrior. princess”

She was educated as a warrior from a young age and grew up denying her life and efforts.

For the sake of a future that will not connect with her, I hope that she will hate me enough to hate me, and I will trample on her pride, hoping that she will hurt me and push me away.

As if these words were effective, a trembling was transmitted from the blade of the sword he was holding. His face, flushed with anger, turned pale.

His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but it quickly closed and he bit his innocent lips.

If I looked at it any longer, I thought I would hug her who looked pitiful, so I turned my back and walked out of the gymnasium.

From behind, my heart was shaken by the sound of something falling and muttering, so I forcibly squeezed my left hand, which was not working well due to overexertion, and turned my nerves to pain.

The pain of tearing raw flesh surges through, but for some reason, it hurts more in my heart than in my hands.

The experience of pushing and destroying a life that was all about pulling is so dirty that I don’t want to do it again, so I hope that today will not have to push her away, who was my first love and unrequited love in my life.